by Lizzie Shane
Cam was making faces at Sofie when she came out of the bedroom, and Andie was trying to hide a smile—and failing—as the baby giggled.
“Ready to go?” Rachel asked, all business. One of the ornaments on the tree looked like it had fallen down to a lower branch, but she forced herself not to fix it with Cam watching, moving instead toward the door and putting on her coat.
Cam clapped his hands. “Let’s do this.”
Rachel looked past him to her mother. “We won’t be long.”
“Take your time. We’re good,” she assured them, smiling in a way that was entirely too hopeful.
This isn’t a date.
Even if he did put his hand on her arm as they crossed the parking lot toward his car. It was icy. He was being courteous.
But the touch still made her shiver and words rushed out of her mouth to cover her nerves. “I already ordered most of Sofie’s presents from my mom and Yaya and me. I’m not sure what you had in mind to get for her, but I can point you toward things that she isn’t already getting—”
“Didn’t I just hear you bemoaning the fact that you hadn’t had time to do your Christmas shopping?” Cam hit the key fob to unlock his Range Rover and opened her door for her—which was not a date thing to do. He probably did that for everyone.
“That was two days ago,” she reminded him.
“Of course it was. My bad.” He laughed as he shut her door and rounded the hood to climb into the driver’s seat.
She shoved more words into the car with them. “There was one thing I couldn’t get for as good a deal online—this interactive Sesame Street learning toy with really good reviews—so I put it on hold at Target, though they didn’t have it in stock at the close one, so I’ll need to head up to the Longmont store, but I can do that on my own if that doesn’t fit into the schedule tonight. What did you have in mind?”
He arched a brow as he clicked his seatbelt. “I have to have a plan?”
“It’s easier to figure out where we should be going if we know what you’re looking for.”
Cam shrugged, turning on the engine of the posh SUV. “I figured something would grab me.”
“Right.” She forcibly restrained herself from pulling out the list of possible present options she’d made on her phone. This was Cam’s idea. Cam’s present for Sofie.
He glanced over at her as he pulled out of the parking space. “It’s going to drive you crazy, isn’t it? Not having a plan.”
She pressed her lips together, but the words burst out. “It just sounds like a really inefficient way of going about it. Where were you even going to go?”
“A mall? Or better yet, we’ll go pick up your Sesame Street thing and see if anything jumps out at us up there. Does that plan meet your standards?”
“I like being organized,” she defended against the teasing note in his voice. “There’s nothing wrong with being a planner.”
“You’re absolutely right,” he agreed. She studied him for traces of sarcasm, but he seemed sincere. “As long as you don’t miss the spontaneous stuff.”
“Spontaneous Christmas shopping sounds like a good way of ending up with things that don’t suit anyone on your list.”
“True. But if you only look for the things that are on your carefully planned list, you might miss out on things that people would love even more. You’ve gotta be open to the unexpected.”
“I’m open. I’m not incapable of seeing things that aren’t part of my plans,” she argued as he pointed the car toward Longmont. “I just like knowing what I’m looking for and where I can find it. It’s efficient.”
“And I love it.” He grinned. “How is the world’s most symmetrical tree, by the way?”
She rolled her eyes, trying not to remember that one ornament and how it had slipped down two branches. “Were you this annoying when we met before?”
“Absolutely. It’s my charm. You were helpless in the face of it.”
“Was I though?”
“Definitely.” His grin was broad—and unsettlingly intimate—when he flicked a glance at her. Thankfully he was driving and couldn’t hold her gaze because she probably would have turned to putty if he had. Where had her defenses against him gone?
“So Sofie’s into Sesame Street, huh?” At the comment, Rachel glanced over, frowning, and Cam explained, “The toy?”
“Right, yeah, it’s, um, educational. And she’s a little obsessed with Elmo.”
“Good to know.” He stared out the front window, giving her a chance to admire his profile. “Thanks for doing this, by the way. I wouldn’t have the first clue what to get her. It’s weird. Not knowing what she likes. Though I’m going to. By her birthday, I’m gonna have this down.”
It was the first mention of the future and Rachel tried not to react to it. Sofie’s birthday was in the middle of the baseball season. He’d be back in LA, doing his job. How often would they even see him? Or would he expect her to bring Sofie to LA? Would he fly them out on weekends? Put them up in fancy hotels…or with him? It felt too soon to even be thinking about things like that when she didn’t even know what the next two weeks would bring, but she couldn’t seem to stop her brain once it burrowed down that rabbit hole.
He asked what other things Sofie liked and Rachel kept up a running monologue of Sofie stories during the thirty minute drive up to Longmont.
The Christmas crowds were out in force, even on a weeknight, and the parking lot was packed when they arrived. Cam pulled into the first available space and Rachel’s story about Sofie’s bizarre I will eat only broccoli phase trailed off as they exited the car.
“I’ll go straight to the pick-up counter and meet you back in the toy section when I’m done.” She moved quickly toward the store, focusing on her purpose and not the man at her side—until they stepped through the automatic doors.
Cam caught her arm, guiding her out of the way of a woman who wasn’t watching where she was pushing her cart, and every cell in Rachel’s body hummed with awareness of him. He released her almost immediately, but she’d lost her train of thought, her brain scrambling to reboot after the incidental touch. How was she supposed to get through this night if he couldn’t even brush her arm without her hormones going crazy?
And she apparently wasn’t the only one who was hyper aware of him. Even in the hurried rush of pre-Christmas shopping days, Rachel saw several harried mommies give him a lingering glance, their steps hitching as they walked past. Did they recognize him? Or was it just his unfair GQ good looks?
It was tempting to stare them down, marking him clearly as hers, but he wasn’t. Not like that. So she forced herself to turn toward the pick-up counter. “I’ll see you back there.”
Cam looked lost for a moment, but he rallied quickly, saluting and starting toward the back of the store as Rachel headed toward the—thankfully short—pick-up line.
Fifteen minutes later she had the Sesame Street toy paid for and tucked into a reusable shopping bag as she headed back toward the kid-topia at the back of the store.
She half expected to find Cam surrounded by a swarm of helpful mommies batting their eyelashes at him—but what she saw when she stepped into the first toy aisle might actually have been more horrifying.
“No.”
Cam stood with one hand on a shopping cart that was literally overflowing with a lion stuffed animal that looked to be life-sized. It had a giant red bow around its neck and Rachel started shaking her head as she approached.
“Sofie does not need a stuffed animal the size of a small horse.”
“No one needs a stuffed animal,” Cam conceded, but his eyes were gleaming with excitement. “But don’t you think she’d love it?”
She would. But it was wildly impractical. “We don’t have the space. Can you imagine that in my apartment? It’s bigger than most of the furniture.”
“So we keep it at my place,” Cam offered instantly.
Rachel shot him a
look, but he missed it as he patted the stuffed lion on the head, already off and running with his new plan. “I should set up a space for her over there anyway. Get some toys. A crib so she can stay overnight—”
Rachel’s stomach knotted at the thought of Sofie spending a night away from her. Things were moving too fast again, faster than she could keep up. Then she spotted the price tag. “Two hundred and eighty dollars? Are you kidding me?”
“It’s a showstopper.”
“It’s pointless. And ridiculously overpriced.”
Cam shrugged. “What’s Christmas for?”
That certainly answered the question of whether he was going to try to spoil Sofie with extravagant gifts. Irritation snapped through her. “Am I always going to have to be the rational one while you always get to be the fun one who breaks the rules?”
“I didn’t know there was a No Giant Stuffed Animals rule.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “That isn’t what I meant and you know it. Is that the kind of parent you want to be? The Fun Dad?”
* * * * *
Cam met her eyes, his enthusiasm retreating at the irritation in hers. Was that really what she thought of him? That he only wanted to be the Fun Dad? That he would balk at the first hint of responsibility?
His fingers sank into the silky-soft fur of the plush lion. He’d just wanted to get it right.
“I don’t know what kind of dad I’m going to be,” he said slowly, after a long moment. “I’m still figuring it out. I just…I don’t know her. And I want her to love the first thing I give her.” He’d already missed so much. He looked away from her, back at the lion. “If you really don’t want me to get it, I won’t get it.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel whispered, and he glanced up to see guilt written across her face. “I’m being a jerk. I know you want it to be perfect for her, just like I do. I can’t be mad at you for being excited about Christmas with her when I’m the same way.” Her gaze flicked past him to the lion. “They have giant stuffed animals at Costco too,” she offered. “I don’t know if they have a lion, but they definitely have bears and dogs. They’re almost as big and I think they’re only thirty or forty bucks.” She swallowed. “She’d love one.”
Cam’s heart lifted. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Rachel’s lips quirked in a small, shy smile and he couldn’t stop the massive smile that spread across his face.
“See? Teamwork. We’ve got this.”
She laughed softly, but wouldn’t meet his eyes, taking a sudden interest in the toys around him as he replaced the massive lion on the shelf.
She was still so hesitant with him, so reluctant to let him in, but he could feel the momentum shifting, like a game where he was behind by five runs and the first few batters started to get on base. He was closer to winning her back with each smile—and he wasn’t going to stop trying to earn them.
Chapter Fifteen
“Rachel Persopoulos, are you dating Cameron Cole and you didn’t even tell me?”
“What? No!” Rachel nearly streaked a black line across the entire Russell House fundraiser seating chart as her head snapped up and her arm jerked. JoJo stood in the doorway of her office, holding a cream-colored Christmas present with a big red ribbon. “Why would you think that?”
They weren’t dating. The other night had most definitely not been a date. They were building trust as co-parents. That’s all it was. She needed to remember that. To keep a minimum safe distance.
“This just arrived for you.” JoJo sing-songed, coming into her office and lifting the present, curiosity bright in her eyes. “A certain baseball player dropped it off himself.”
Rachel flushed, reaching for the package. Neatly wrapped in crisp cream paper with a sparkling red ribbon, it was a rectangular shirt box, lighter than she’d expected as she took it from JoJo’s hands. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” she mumbled, flipping open the card.
Not all gifts have to be practical. I couldn’t resist. C.
“Why is Cameron Cole bringing you presents? Please tell me you’re secretly knocking boots with one of the hottest bachelors in the greater Denver area.”
JoJo was her best friend at work—possibly her best friend period, though neither of them had much time for girls’ nights. They’d both been pregnant at the same time—JoJo with twins—and JoJo’s dramatic recitals of All The Things No One Ever Tells You About Pregnancy had kept Rachel laughing—and sane—through those months. But she hadn’t told her about Cam. She hadn’t told anyone outside of her family about Cam. Though it wasn’t a secret anymore.
“It isn’t like that.” She smoothed the ribbon, her fingertips coming away covered in glitter. “He’s Sofie’s father.”
“Whoa.” JoJo’s eyes went wide. “Cameron Cole is Dickface the Wonder Douche?”
A choked noise caught in her throat—she’d forgotten JoJo’s oh-so-delicate nickname for her ex.
“Why didn’t you ever say who he was?” JoJo demanded. Her expressive face contorted as if she couldn’t decide on an emotion. “I don’t think I can like him anymore. I mean he’s hot and always super nice to me, but knowing he left you and Sofie—”
“It wasn’t entirely his fault.” It felt strange defending him after making him the villain in her head for so long. Strange, but right. “We had a misunderstanding. He didn’t know about Sofie, but he does now and he’s…trying.”
“Is that what this is?” JoJo nodded to the present Rachel was fidgeting with. “Him trying?”
“I’m not sure what this is,” she admitted, not just meaning the present.
“Well, open it,” JoJo demanded impatiently. “I want to know what kind of bling the hot ballplayer sends his baby mama.”
If she’d said it was private, JoJo would have instantly accepted that and returned to her desk. She knew that. But somehow opening the present alone seemed like a much more intimidating prospect than doing it with a cheering section.
The wrapping was so flawless she was sure it had been professionally done. She couldn’t picture Cam neatly creasing the corners. The box was a simple shirt box with no logo to provide a hint of what was inside. She pulled open the top, holding her breath for something ridiculously frivolous—a diamond tiara, a silk shawl—and when she pushed back the tissue paper a laugh burst out of her mouth.
It was a Christmas sweater. Quite possibly the world’s ugliest Christmas sweater. Red and green striped, with a sequin Rudolph with a disproportionately huge nose.
“Huh.” JoJo frowned as Rachel pulled the sweater from the box. Then she studied Rachel’s face and started to smile. “Good present.”
Rachel’s brow knit in confusion at JoJo’s reaction. “What? It’s hideous.” A tiny matching Sofie-sized sweater lay among the tissue paper.
“Yeah. And you love it.” JoJo grinned knowingly, retreating back toward her desk. “Merry Christmas, Mama.”
Rachel frowned after her. Then glanced down at the ridiculous sweater as her cell phone rang—and Cam’s name appeared on the screen.
“Do you like it?” he asked as soon as she’d said hello. “I dropped it off fifteen minutes ago. Don’t tell me you haven’t opened it.”
“I might have been waiting for Christmas. That is the traditional thing to do.”
“But you didn’t.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Isn’t it awful? The nose lights up.”
She snorted. “Of course it does.” She couldn’t suppress her smile. It was just so ugly.
“I figure everyone needs a hideous Christmas sweater. It’s required. And I might have ulterior motives.”
Her stomach clenched on those words. “You do?”
“My parents have a tradition. Ugly sweater caroling followed by cookies and cocoa. Tomorrow night.” She heard the hesitation in his voice. “I was hoping you and Sofie might join us. There are ugly sweaters in it for your mother and Yaya if they want to come too.”
She bit her lip. “I don�
��t know what their plans are, but I do know none of us can carry a tune.”
“You can’t be any worse than Carly. We’re more about enthusiasm than talent. Will you come? I promise the cocoa makes up for the auditory assault.”
“I…” God, she was being ridiculous. It was just caroling. Both of their families would be there. She forced lightness she didn’t feel into her voice. “How can I resist an invitation like that? I’ll see if Mom and Yaya are free, but Sofie and I are in.”
“Excellent! Carly’s hosting, because she’s an insufferable control freak. The festivities technically start around six, but everyone is always late—and don’t worry about eating before you come. There will be food everywhere, and not just cookies and cocoa.”
“It sounds very festive,” she murmured, nerves starting to whisper through her.
“It is. Do you want me to pick you up?”
“No. No, we’ll make our own way.”
“I can’t wait to see you,” Cam said, with a little extra rasp to his voice, and Rachel shivered.
She told herself she definitely wasn’t still feeling the effects of that voice when she refocused on the seating chart, her face flushed from a silly Christmas sweater.
The Russell House event was on track. Her Christmas shopping was in hand, the decorations were up, and she was going caroling tonight—but none of that was what had her blushing over a sweater. It was Cam. And she couldn’t let herself get in too deep.
* * * * *
Cam had told her his family was big. She just hadn’t realized exactly how big. Or been prepared for the sheer volume that many people could produce, the wall of sound hitting her as soon as she walked in the door.
Cam appeared instantly at her side, grinning broadly and wearing the same awful reindeer sweater he’d sent her—though it looked entirely too good on him. “You made it!” He dropped a kiss on Sofie’s head. “Welcome to the insanity.”