The Adults

by Caroline Hulse

  Dad concentrated hard on picking up bread crumbs from the table.

  “I don’t understand what Patrick just said. And he’s shaking the table,” Posey said. “With his knee.”

  “I know,” Scarlett said. “Shush.”

  “Let’s do hopes and dreams, then.” Alex looked from one person to another. “What are your hopes and dreams. Anyone?”

  The room was silent. An animal shrieked outside.

  “Nobody?” Alex turned to the chair where Posey sat. “Posey, get us started. Are you happy? What do you want out of life?”

  Posey sat completely still.

  Alex nodded. “A mate, that’s important. A supportive mate.” She gave another nod. “A safe burrow and food? I know where you’re coming from. But I wonder—is that enough? Will you feel truly fulfilled?”

  Posey reached out to hold Scarlett’s hand.

  Scarlett turned to Dad for help, but Dad was stabbing hard at a piece of lettuce. He shoved it into his mouth in a way that showed he was angry.

  Dad was hardly ever in a bad mood. Dad must be “tired” too.

  “Look!” Posey’s voice was panicked. “She’s about to do it again.” He gripped Scarlett’s hand tighter. “She’s about to talk to me!”

  “Security is important—true.” Alex gave Posey an understanding smile. “I understand why you wouldn’t want things going all Watership Down.”

  Posey frowned. “Watership what?”

  “Yes, I can see why that film would stick with you. How did watching it feel for you? Like a horror film? Or a documentary?”

  Dad pushed his chair back with a screech. He picked up his plate and walked to the kitchen.

  Alex narrowed her eyes. “You washing up, Matt? Without being asked?”

  Dad didn’t turn round.

  “You’re such a good man. I’m so lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky.”

  Dad flourished the plate at Alex in a grand theatrical gesture. “And so am I!”

  Alex gave a wide smile. “Fill me up, would you, darling?”

  “Alex talks posher now she’s got tired,” Posey said. “She sounds like she’s in Downton Abbey.”

  Without looking at Alex, Dad filled her glass, then his own.

  “And look”—Posey pointed to where Patrick was shifting in his seat—“Patrick looks like he’s sat on a hedgehog.”

  Alex turned to Scarlett. “What about you, Scarlett? What do you want to be when you grow up?”

  “Uh-oh,” Posey said. “Squeeze my paw.”

  “An astronaut?” Alex continued. “A lawyer? A postman?”

  Scarlett put her fork down. “A hairdresser,” she said. “Or a vet.”

  Posey dropped Scarlett’s hand. “Why did you answer?” he hissed.

  Scarlett shrugged.

  Posey folded his arms.

  Alex raised her glass to Scarlett. “Great choices.” She took another swig. “Different academic requirements, but great choices. Why a vet?”

  “I like animals.”

  “But she likes killing them,” Posey hissed.

  Scarlett flapped a hand at Posey. “Shush.”

  “Was that shush at me?” Alex said.

  “No. At Posey.”

  Alex nodded. “Well, that’s the thing. You’re used to dealing with animals, what with Posey.”

  “Dealing with?” Posey turned to Scarlett. “What does that mean?’

  “It’s a complex business, dealing with animals,” Alex glanced at Patrick. “If you’re a vet, you’ll have to put animals down for their own good. Like I did with that pheasant yesterday, after Patrick mowed it down in the car.”

  There was a silence.

  “Patrick ran over the pheasant?” Posey said. “On purpose?”

  “You did know Patrick ran it over, didn’t you?” Alex said. “You had been told?”

  Alex looked down at the table.

  “Sorry, Scarlett.” Alex placed her fork down in a careful gesture. Her cheeks went pinker. “That was rude of me. You’d make a great vet. Or hairdresser. You don’t need to decide now, and whatever you do, you’ll be great at it. You know how I know that? Because you’re switched on. You don’t suffer fools.” Alex leaned toward Scarlett and grabbed her hands. “You’ve got gumption.”

  Patrick looked at Dad like he was trying to say something with his eyes.

  Dad took a long, slow sip of wine.

  “You know what gumption is?” Alex asked, still holding Scarlett’s hands. “It means you know your own mind. You won’t let anyone take the mick out of you. Not like me—I’m a fucking doormat. Now.” Alex beamed around the room. “Who’s for Christmas cake? Anyone?”

  “I like her more for saying ‘fucking’ in front of us,” Posey said. “Like we’re grown-ups.”

  “Me too,” Scarlett said.

  Patrick looked at Scarlett then back to Alex. “Do you think you need a lie-down?”

  “Do I?” Alex glared at him. “What do you think? Do I need a lie-down?”

  Patrick cleared his throat. “I’m just thinking of you. How you’ll feel in the morning.”

  “How sweet. But how will you feel in the morning, Patrick? Exhausted? Refreshed?”

  “I—”

  “What if the pipes keep you up tonight? So loud. So rhythmic.”

  Claire turned to Matt. “So, are you two still thinking of moving house? What are you looking for in a new place—is it extra space or a location thing? Have you seen anywhere you like?”

  There was a knock on the front door of the lodge. Alex jumped up to answer it.

  She opened the door to a group of carol singers dressed as elves, wearing green outfits with red hats and stripy tights.

  Without saying a word, the elves launched into “O Little Town of Bethlehem.” An old man at the front held out a money bucket with writing on it.

  Alex turned to the others with a beam. “More singing!”

  Scarlett turned back to watch the singers. Carol-singing elves, here, at her lodge.

  She felt Posey’s paw slip into her hand. “They’re good singers. They’re not as good as your choir, though.”

  “I know,” Scarlett said.

  “Your choir are brilliant.”

  “I know,” Scarlett said again.

  She turned to say thank you to Patrick for arranging the singers, but he was whispering with Mum and Dad at the table now Alex was at the door. Scarlett couldn’t hear what they were whispering about because of the loud elf singing.

  The elves finished their song. The group in the lodge clapped, Alex most of all.

  “That’s your bedtime cue, Scarlett,” Claire said softly.

  Scarlett didn’t even argue. She stood up. “Night-night.”

  She skipped up the stairs without a word.

  “I tell you what,” Posey whispered, following Scarlett upstairs. “When your dad moves back in I’m going to smash that karaoke machine. All this singing’s doing my head in.”

  Scarlett frowned at Posey as she opened the bedroom door.

  “Now, let’s clean our teeth and get under the duvet.” Posey crawled under the bed, his cottontail bobbing. “Then we need to find that film Alex talked about. Watership Down. That meant something.” He pointed at the iPad and looked at Scarlett in a question.

  Scarlett nodded.

  Scarlett and Posey cleaned their teeth in the bathroom. Scarlett closed the bedroom door after them and got in bed.

  She leaned down under the bed and brought up the iPad. She placed it on her lap. “We’re not really allowed to do this, you know.”

  Posey snuggled into her. “But you know your mum’s Netflix password, right?”

  44

  Patrick watched Scarlett go upstairs, confused. What, no complaints? No “Ten minutes more,�
� or “Can I take the iPad with me?”

  Alex clapped her hands. “That carol singing was wonderful.” She waved the man with the bucket into the lodge. “I haven’t got any money on me. Matt, have you got some?”

  Matt got his wallet out of his back pocket. He put a ten-pound note in the man’s bucket.

  “We’ve got Christmas cake as well,” Alex said to the bucket man, “if you’re interested?”

  Patrick was surprised to find himself feeling sorry for Matt.

  “Oh, no.” The man rubbed his stomach. “I’ve had a bellyful of Christmas cake.”

  After the thank-yous and Happy Christmases, Alex shut the door after him.

  “Thanks, Matt,” Claire said, sitting back down at the table. “Generous.”

  “Matt’s extremely generous.” Alex turned to Claire. “Admittedly, he hasn’t offered me any money for rent since he moved into my house nearly two years ago, but that’s an oversight, probably. And you know that trust fund his parents pay into for when Scarlett’s eighteen?” Alex gave an expansive wave of her arm. “Matt has lent the capital to Walshy. How thoughtful is that?”

  Matt turned to Claire. “It’s not like that.”

  Alex took a long sip of wine. “And the one thing we know about Walshy is he’s a safe bet for a return.”

  Claire and Matt stared at each other.

  Claire put her wineglass down. “Please say you didn’t.”

  Matt put his hands palm down on the table. “Mate, I will pay that money back whatever happens—it’s on me, I promise. Walshy was just in debt to a payday loan company at a ridiculous APR and getting himself deeper in debt. It was just a cash-flow thing.”

  Claire licked her lips.

  “I promise, don’t worry.” When Claire didn’t respond, Matt added, “Don’t stress.” Then, “Don’t stress,” again.

  Claire had her gaze fixed on Matt. “This isn’t over.” Again, Patrick almost felt sorry for him. “I’m not talking about this now,” Claire said, “but we will definitely—definitely—be talking about this tomorrow.”

  The doorbell rang again.

  Patrick beat Alex to the door this time. Nicola stood on the threshold, wearing a segmented top that shimmered like the scales of a fish. She held out a bottle of wine. “Is now a good time for that drink?” Goose pimples sprang up on her arms. “I can come back another time.”

  “Of course!” Alex shouted. She made a wafting come in gesture. “Now’s perfect. What are you drinking?”

  Nicola smiled at Alex and looked at the table. “Red wine’s good.”

  Alex went to fetch another glass from the kitchen.

  “Nicola.” Nicola reached out her hand to Claire. “I went to school with Patrick.”

  Claire focused her gaze on Nicola. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard, it’s such a coincidence. Lovely to meet you. I’m Claire.”

  Nicola took the glass of wine Alex handed to her and sat at the table. “Kids in bed?”

  “Kid. Just one,” Claire said. “Scarlett. And yes.”

  “Cool.” Nicola looked around at the others. “I’m just trying to work out the dynamic”—she wafted an arm—“here.”

  Alex beamed at her. “We’re one big happy family. Let me explain. I’m with Matt and he used to be married to Claire.” She gestured with her arm at each person in turn. “Claire’s now with Patrick, and we don’t know one another at all, and we’ve all come on holiday together to a small lodge with shared air in the middle of nowhere. That’s not strange, is it?”

  Nicola smiled back. “It’s a great thing to do.”

  Alex gulped her wine. “So it is. Pass me the bottle, would you, darling?”

  After a beat, Matt passed the red wine bottle over to Alex.

  “Patrick’s ex-wife isn’t here, sadly.” Alex concentrated hard on the bottle as she poured. “They don’t get on.”

  Patrick turned to Nicola. He shrugged helplessly.

  Nicola gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’ve never had to do the ‘ex’ thing. Can’t be easy.”

  Alex made a dismissing piffle gesture with one arm. She knocked her glass an inch along the table. The glass wobbled; she steadied it.

  Patrick continued to beam at Nicola, with a smile that was feeling falser by the second.

  Alex leaned toward Nicola. “So what was Pat like at school?”

  “Um…” Nicola looked at Patrick and back. “Nice. Quiet. Studious.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Alex said. “He’s still serious. He knows about interest rates and—what is it, Matt? Con-sol-i-da-ted”—Alex enunciated the word carefully—“debt obligations.”

  Matt slammed his hands down on the table. He walked into the bathroom without a word.

  Patrick frowned at Alex. “I don’t really know a lot about that stuff. I know a bit about subprime mortgages and the crash but—”

  Alex interrupted him. “Do you play the cello?”

  “No.”

  Alex waved a hand and turned back to Nicola. “Was he good with the ladies at school? A charmer?”

  Nicola smiled. “You’d have to ask him that.”

  “No,” Patrick said shortly. “I was a geek.”

  “We moved in different circles.” Nicola gave Patrick a warm smile. “He was a top-set boy, whereas I was usually bunking off, smoking and doing my nail varnish at the top gate. We only crossed over in drama class.”

  “School. So long ago.” Alex sat back in her chair. “All that mattered was sex. I lost my virginity to a guy I didn’t know the surname of, in the botanical gardens in the park. I was fifteen. I remember being surprised it was pretty unspectacular, I could mainly feel the twigs cutting into my bum.” She turned to Patrick. “What do you think about that, Pat?”

  Patrick took a large sip of wine. “Each to their own.” He looked at Nicola. She stared at the table now, lips pressed together, playing with her necklace. She wasn’t smiling anymore.

  The room was silent, apart from the waterfall sound of Matt pissing in the bathroom.

  Matt flushed the toilet and re-entered the lounge.

  Alex turned on him. “You were even younger when you lost your virginity, weren’t you, darling? Fourteen, wasn’t it? Behind the waltzers at the fair?”

  “You have the red teeth of an old lush, Alex.” Matt’s voice was even. “You look like a pissed-up vampire. Maybe best to shut—the—fuck—up.”

  “Someone else go now.” When no one spoke, Alex sighed. “I’m just trying to have some fun.” She looked around at the others. “OK, then. How many people have we all slept with? Me”—she leaned her head to the side—“probably fifteen. But that’s an estimate, there’s a twenty percent tolerance on each side.”

  “Alex.” Matt kept his voice low. “Grow up.”

  Alex turned to Patrick. “Do you think that’s a little? A lot?” Alex twisted toward Claire. “What do you think? Too many? Too few? How would you judge me on that?”

  Nicola drained the rest of her wine.

  “Go to bed.” Matt’s voice was quiet, firm.

  Patrick turned to Nicola. “Another drink?”

  Nicola stood up. “I told my mum I’d only be a few minutes.”

  Patrick looked from Nicola’s fish-scale party top to the bottle of wine she’d brought. “Of course.”

  Alex kept her gaze on Claire. “Because some people lie about that kind of thing. Don’t you think it’s sad if someone has to hide their past? You wouldn’t lie about that kind of thing, would you, Claire?”

  Claire held her gaze. “Do we need to have a chat outside, Alex?” She stood up. “Shall we?”

  Patrick pushed his chair back. “I’ll walk you home, Nicola.”

  “It’s not far.”

  “Such a gentleman, Pat,” Alex said. “A chivalrous man from a different age.�
��

  Nicola stood up, a carefully polite smile fixed on her face. Patrick ushered her toward the door of the lodge.

  “Do you want some Christmas cake before you go, Nicola?” Alex shouted.

  Nicola gave a kind smile. “I don’t really like it. But thanks.”

  “No,” Alex said thoughtfully. She picked up the knife. “No one really likes it.”

  Alex plunged the knife into the center of the cake with both hands. She left the knife there, its handle sticking up.

  Nobody moved.

  Matt pushed his chair back. “Alex. Everyone has been trying to spare your blushes but you’ve now officially shown everyone what an awful drunk you are, including the nice lady next door who you’ve never met before.”

  Patrick and Nicola hurried out of the lodge and into the cold. Even with the door shut behind them, they could still hear Matt’s raised voice.

  “Go to bed before you embarrass yourself even more, and hope to God at least one person here is still speaking to you in the morning.”

  * * *

  —

  Patrick and Nicola crunched wordlessly across the frozen grass to Nicola’s lodge.

  Patrick shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “I should explain.”

  “No need. It’s fine.”

  “Alex doesn’t drink usually.”

  “A holiday like this always has bust-up potential. Any family weekend, really. My kids have been at each other since we arrived, it’s quite straining to the nerves. But they’ve gone to bed now.” Nicola gave him a little smile. “Do you want to come inside?”

  There was a bang of a door behind Patrick. He looked back at his own lodge: Matt strode across the grass toward the lake, coat on, head down.

  Patrick looked at Nicola. She was so small. So delicate. “I probably should get back to Claire. Try to clear up this mess.”

  Nicola put her arms across her chest and rubbed her goose-pimpled arms. Patrick tried not to notice her nipples, hard with cold and visible against the fish-scale top.

  “You probably should just go inside, Nicola.” Patrick held eye contact. “Have a nice evening. I’m sorry.”

  “Not your fault.” Nicola gave Patrick one last achingly vulnerable smile and retreated into the lodge, shutting the door quietly behind her.