Diver's Heart

by K. A Knight

  “Whalers?” Fin asks.

  Well, at least one of them is talking to me. Riggs is typing away, concentrating on his computer, which is hooked up to a projector on the rickety metal table. Tyler is hunched over some maps, wearing nothing but some cutoff shorts. Kalen is sitting at the end, his arms crossed as he silently fumes.

  Fun times.

  Michael chuckles. “Yeah, you should have seen her. Christ, she leaped onto their boat and poured booze right into the engine. You have never seen so many angry rich people.”

  “I remember that.” Steve laughs as he comes in. “That’s how I met you! You were this tiny thing in this little bikini standing off against six men.”

  “Even odds.” I shrug, making him chuckle as he sits.

  “I remember thinking anyone crazy enough to do that is crazy enough to work for me,” he offers, making me smile wider.

  “Beautiful fucking story,” Kalen snarls, and I raise my eyebrow at him as he turns away again.

  “Enough. Now that we’re all here, let’s begin,” Tyler snaps, throwing me a narrow-eyed glare. I salute him and put my legs up on the table, leaning back to watch. His eyes twitch, but he turns away without saying anything.

  “We have only mapped a tiny portion of the cave.” The projector comes on, showing his mapping system. I want to congratulate him on getting it finished finally, but I don’t think it would be welcome…although I know how hard he worked on it.

  I’m proud of him, I always knew he could do it.

  “The entrance chamber has two passes going from it—one is too narrow for even our cameras to get through. The other we explored a tiny amount, and it seems to slope down. That looks like our way in.” I nod, following the incomplete map on the screen before it changes to pictures. “We are taking equipment down as we speak. Comms will be set up in that tunnel, and in forward and advanced bases, with guidelines back with stores of deco bottles. We take more kit than we need with enough tanks to last us a month.”

  “How long are we staying down for?” I question, allowing him to take control as he’s been here longer…and he might think I’m playing nice then.

  I see him not wanting to answer me, but he knows we have to work together. “Fourteen days in total, then we regroup and rest up here. We go back down if need be, but I would like it mapped in those fourteen.”

  I whistle at that, and he narrows his eyes. “We dive and map in shifts. Kalen is first scout, and Riggs is in charge of the map, cameras, and equipment. We will assign dive buddies. No one exceeds five times, and no one goes alone unless ordered. Let’s not forget this is an unexplored cave, so Mother Nature is sure to have some tricks up her sleeve.”

  Fuck, I almost break then. My dad used to say that.

  “We go in smart and work hard. It’s going to be exhausting, it’s going to be long, but we work together to get it done.” He looks at Michael then. “You dive, I assume?”

  “He does, but he’s better staying at base for communication and helping with equipment and hauling,” I inform him, not disclosing his lung issues.

  Tyler frowns at me, and I narrow my eyes.

  “He stays at base,” I state.

  “Fine,” Tyler snaps. “But if you’re here to work, you will dive and do your part, nothing more. I will expect no drama or complaints on this.”

  “Not a problem, same goes for you. I’m not your employee, I’m here on behalf of my friend to ensure this runs smoothly. I’m joint lead. Do your job, and we’ll have no issues,” I retort, speaking the same way I would to anyone. I’m trying to keep it fair and not personal, because that’s what he seems to want.

  Kalen snorts, and it’s a harsh, angry sound. “No issues?”

  Tyler glares at him. “Don’t.” He looks at me then. “Same goes for you. I’ll be honest, I don’t want you down there, I don’t want you here at all. But we have to work together, so be it.”

  “Ouch.” Michael laughs. “Harsh.”

  I struggle to contain my anger…and yes, pain. Fuck, in those blue eyes, I see an ocean of it. “Understood, when do we go in?”

  “Tomorrow, five AM sharp. Everyone is to get some sleep and be prepared. Your equipment is your own, so make sure you check and double-check it. I will not babysit anyone.”

  Then he turns away, dismissing us all.

  Chapter Eight

  That night, there will be a celebration for opening the dive tomorrow. We all work together throughout the afternoon, getting the equipment down into the opening chamber, though I’m not allowed to go down yet. I just have to carry it to the edge, which I do without complaint, especially when I see Tyler watching me.

  He’s waiting for any excuse to get rid of me.

  I won’t make it easy for him.

  When it’s all done, we sit down to eat and drink. They stay as far away from me as they can, and as soon as they are finished eating, Tyler is back in the command tent, staring at maps and planning for every possibility. I know because we used to do it together. The night before a dive, we would sit with a bottle and come up with everything that could go wrong and what we could do to prevent or help if it did. Now he does it alone.

  Kalen disappears into his tent.

  Riggs rushes away, back to his computers, and Fin climbs the mountain and lies on the top of it, under the stars. Everyone has their own method for preparing for the next day.

  Mine used to be them, just being at their side.

  Now, I grab the bottle of beer and go sit on the edge of the hole, my legs hanging down into the dark as I sip my drink alone. I let myself relax and prepare for tomorrow as I stare down at my next adventure.

  I can hear the laughter and talking behind me, but I don’t look back, feeling completely alone. It’s something I’ve found I hate, being alone. I was always surrounded by my guys, since we lived and worked in tiny boats and spaces. I got used to being with people. When I left, I had nobody until I found Michael. But even then, we like our own space from each other.

  It’s one of the things I miss.

  The laughter, the friendship.

  Now? I usually work until I pass out so I don’t think about the bone crushing loneliness, or I find it in the arms of strangers and in the bottom of a bottle.

  I hear him before he sits as he sighs and groans. “Fuck, I’m getting old. My muscles are as stiff as a cock.”

  I snort and swig my beer as I tip my head back and look at the stars. “That you are, old man.”

  “Less of the old, you cheeky bugger,” Michael retorts as he looks at the hole. “Why didn’t you tell them?”

  I know what he means—why didn’t I mention his lung damage from bends? They wouldn’t let him down there if they knew, and Michael lives for adventure like us. When it happened, he tried to kill himself because he knew he would never dive again. This was before I met him. When I did, he was a drunk in Thailand. After I learned his story, I hired him on the spot, needing a captain and someone to watch my back. He knew the ropes, so I offered him the job with the condition that he get sober. I don’t mind a few sips, even the occasional beer, but he hasn’t touched anything since that day. And for the last three years, he’s been sober, keeping his promise.

  He’s turned his life around, but without our jobs, I know he’ll spiral again. So no, I didn’t tell them. “None of their business.”

  He sighs, running the bottle through his hands, feeling it in a nervous gesture, since he won’t take a sip. “Kid…are they them?”

  “Them what?” I query, looking at him. I’ve never mentioned my past to Michael, and he never asked. Both of us have our own demons to conquer.

  “The ones who broke your heart so badly, you race across the world jumping from one high to the next?” he offers.

  I turn away from his knowing eyes as I peer back into the black hole. “No…I broke theirs.” I down my beer and stand, looking back down at Michael. “It won’t be an issue, this is just another dive.”

  “Another day.” He nods, a
nd I start to walk away. “But what if it’s not?”

  I don’t know what to say, so I don’t. Instead, I keep moving.

  I head back to my tent and get into the sleep bag, staring at the fabric ceiling. I need to sleep, I need the energy for what’s to come, but I just keep rerunning the initial conversation in my head and the look in their eyes.

  After everyone has settled down to sleep, I’m drifting in and out of it when I see a shadow outside my tent in the shape of a person. They hesitate, and I sit up, frowning. The person is big…

  One of the guys?

  They hesitate for a moment longer before disappearing again like nothing happened. I can’t help but wonder who it was. Michael is asleep, I can hear his snoring from here, and no one else in the camp knows me that well…

  It had to be one of them.

  The question is, which one?

  And why?

  I’m up before anyone else, I always am on dive day. My nerves and excitement are too much to allow me to sleep. I used to be the same as a child on Christmas and my birthday, and when my mum died and I went to live with my dad, I was awake early every morning when I knew he was taking me to work.

  I think my grief was why I fell in love with the ocean. It was so vast and easy to lose myself in. I could be anything down there, be anyone, and it didn’t care…maybe that was why when I was broken once again, I retreated back to the water.

  I put on my trousers and my vest. My thermal fleece is ready to go down in, so is my suit. I double-check my equipment and take it to the edge of the hole, prepared to don and take down. Then I stretch and warm up, and head over for breakfast, which I can smell cooking.

  Everyone is there, so I sit down and drink some water before accepting a plate and digging in. This will be one of the last proper meals we will have for almost two weeks, so I devour it.

  After we have eaten, I pack my bags and get into the rest of my gear and my fleece. I pull on my helmet, and have my suit and equipment ready to change into. They mention the first part is passable, but after that, we might be submerged. Hauling everything to the edge, I wait for the others there. I tilt my head back to look at the sky one last time, memorising the warmth of the sun on my face, heating my skin.

  “Ready for this?” Steve inquires, coming up next to me.

  I smile over at him and wink. “Born ready. We’ll message you when you can come down.”

  He nods and looks around at the activity, everyone preparing to get started. “Are you sure? I know I have no place to ask a—”

  I snort and nudge him with my arm. “Liar, you knew I knew them. I saw it in your face. Real sneaky, old man.”

  He laughs as Michael comes up with his bags in tow. “Right, let’s get this party started!”

  The others join us then, and the mood sobers up at the glare Tyler throws my way. “Kalen, you go first, then you.” He nods at me. Wow, I only get a ‘you’ now, not even a Peyton. But I move over and start to get into the harness. “The rest follow. We get all the equipment down to the entrance chamber and set up comms before I send out the first scouts. It’s going to be slow going and long days, I hope you’re already. If not, now is the time to turn and leave.” He purposely looks at me, so I smile sweetly. “I won’t accept anything less than your best down there.”

  Grunting, I strap onto the belay as Kalen does the same, and I begin to walk backwards. “You know I never give less than my best…especially since I am the best.” I wink at him. “See you down there.” With those parting words, I throw myself backwards.

  I hear the swears and gasps as I laugh and free fall.

  This is going to be amazing, I can feel it.

  Chapter Nine

  Kalen

  I watch her plummet over the edge, and with a curse, I pitch myself after her, worry making my heart slam as I hear her laughter. Her light swirls around the cavern wall as she descends below me. She jolts to a stop on the rope, and I do the same beside her, my eyes narrowed as my light shines on her face. “That was reckless and stupid, don’t pull shit like that again or you’re gone.”

  She smirks at me like she used to, the one that would signal she was getting ready to fight back. My cock hardens, even in the harness, at that one simple expression, remembering just how much I loved our arguments. “Whatever you say, Kay, but you should learn to have some fun. If you’re not careful, your face might freeze like that.”

  Then, with a grin, she starts to lower herself, and I do the same. Both of us descend side by side down the hole. It’s huge, almost sixty meters in diameter. The cavern is dark, and the grey-coloured walls are wet from condensation. It’s close to forty meters down, and luckily, Peyton goes at a normal pace, not showing off. She’s confident in her actions as we hit the floor, and she disentangles herself from the harness before tugging to send it back up. I follow and watch her as she looks around with a whistle.

  There is something so attractive about a woman as self-assured as her. It used to kill me watching her dive, the way her body would move in the water…the way she handled pressure and her excitement.

  “Impressive,” she calls, her voice echoing around us.

  I force my gaze from her to the entrance chamber we are in. We set up lights in here yesterday and started the guidelines down the passages. The floor underneath us is dry, hard rock. She walks around, examining each and every inch of the space, looking at the one other exit we can’t fit through.

  “Don’t even think about it,” I snarl, knowing exactly what she’s thinking of doing.

  “About what?” She chuckles.

  “Going through there. You’re small enough, but we aren’t. It’s a stupid fucking risk. We stick to the plan,” I order.

  For once, she listens to me. She never used to. We were frequently dive buddies, working together as first scouts. It meant long hours in caves and underwater together, cut off from the others. She was reckless, crazy, and daring, pushing herself and her body to the limit. It seems she still is, I just hope this time, it doesn’t get her hurt…or worse.

  “Fine, are you going to be like this the whole time?” she asks, treading closer as we see some of the equipment coming down.

  “Like what?” I snap, purposely not looking at her. When I do, I get angry. My body still wants her, but inside, I’m as cold as ice where she’s concerned. She broke my brother’s heart, she doesn’t get to stroll back in like everything is okay. If I had my way, I would rip her apart and leave her up there to pick up the pieces.

  The cold bitch.

  “An ass.” She laughs before wiggling her eyebrows at me. “Or will getting into the water chill you out like always?”

  I don’t know if it’s how well she knows me, or the fact that every time I look at her, everything from the last three years comes back—the betrayal, the pain, the anger—but I’m pissed.

  Really fucking pissed.

  I want revenge, I want her to know how much we all hate her. I want to see her flinch in pain and feel even a fucking ounce of what we did when she left.

  Stepping closer, I tilt my head down, almost pressing my lips to hers. I watch her inhale, her eyes widening and tongue darting out to lick her lips as she clearly remembers the last time we were this close.

  Which was a fucking mistake, the biggest of my life.

  She’s my fucking mistake, and now she’s before me, looking like a sheep led to slaughter. I don’t think she even realises she’s leaning into me. “I don’t want you here, none of us want you here, so get that through your selfish skull, Andrews. We aren’t going to be friends, or family, or even get along. So keep your mouth shut for once and just do your job,” I growl out and step back. A grin finally curves my lips when she flinches like I physically struck her. Good. I watch as her face drops before contorting in anger.

  She steps forward and stabs her finger into my chest, making me glare down at it in contempt. “Fuck you, Kalen. I didn’t even know you guys were here, but I’m not going back on my word becau
se you’re an asshole who can’t deal with emotions. You hate me? Fine, I fucking hate you too, but we’ll have to work together, so get the fuck over it and remove whatever stick is in your ass. If not, I will and I’ll beat you with it, fucking wanker.”

  Just then, the equipment drops next to us, and without a word, she turns and begins to unhook it and haul it away. We’ve said what we need to say, but she’s wrong—I don’t hate her…not completely.

  And that’s the problem.

  I wish I hated her, it would make this much easier. Instead, my emotions are swirling and confusing, so I take them out on her, just like always.

  I guess things never change.

  Chapter Ten

  I want to punch his smug face…and then kiss it better.

  No, fuck, just punch him. No kissing.

  Fucking asshole, distracting me with those kissable lips and pressing his hard body against mine, making me think all sorts of dirty thoughts only to rip out my beating heart and crush it in his fist. I almost staggered back, but I refuse to let him see that his hits landed. Instead, I lift a crate and carry it over to the storage area, forcing the tears away.

  I knew they hated me, but I didn’t realise how much it would kill me to actually see it.

  Kalen was always angry, and we always argued, but despite that, we were friends. Family. He would have done anything for me. It took me a long time to get past his barriers and earn his trust. And in one moment, I destroyed that. Now all that’s left is an angry, vengeful man. Our arguments are no longer foreplay or teasing, they are cruel.

  Mean.

  Is this what the next fourteen days will be like?

  No, I refuse to let them ruin this for me. They don’t want to talk or get along? Fine, I will be professional and cold, and I won’t let them land another blow no matter what they say or do. I might have left, but they never followed either.