Desperate for Love

by Aliana James

  In that moment, his brain short-circuited, warmth spread across his chest, and headed south to his groin. He pulled his focus to drinking his glass of wine and locked eyes with Kane who looked thoroughly amused.

  “Kane, Alec told me you took care of Tyler’s debt? Does that mean he’s safe and no one else will try to kill him?” Travis asked, breaking the silence.

  Kane sat up straight, the look of amusement vanishing and his eyes narrowed.

  “Yes, I met the loan shark. It’s taken care of.”

  “Taken care of how?” Travis placed his wine glass carefully on the table and squared his shoulders.

  “I paid the debt.”

  “And Tyler’s safety?” Travis’s voice rose.

  For the life of him, he didn’t know why the two of them couldn’t discuss things calmly.

  “Tyler is under my protection.” Kane held up a finger to stop him from being interrupted. “There will be no more attacks on Tyler.”

  “Because of your abilities? Or because the loan sharks told you so?” Travis’s hands gripped the side of the table.

  “What difference does it make?” Kane shook his head, voice low and even but he could see the sadness in his eyes. “Or would you rather take their word over mine?”

  This was Tyler, his baby brother. As an older brother, he sympathized. He peeled Travis’s hands off the side of the table and ran his thumb over his hand in a circle. Travis stared at their hands and took a deep breath.

  “No, that’s not it. I need to make sure. You understand, right? If you had a brother in trouble, you’d want to make sure.” Travis pointed at Kane, his voice unsteady.

  “Yeah, I would,” Kane answered.

  “Thank you for everything you’ve done,” Travis said and left the room.

  “What is it with the two of you?” He shook his head. “Do you have to argue about everything?”

  “We didn’t argue, Alec. I’d call that a heated discussion. I have two men with Tyler at the hospital around the clock. He’s safe. So argument or not, that’s what matters.”

  He didn’t like to see Travis upset. He hated it. Travis looked so stressed out the last few months, and he was determined to keep Tyler safe and out of trouble.

  “He’s right.” Travis held a small tray with three plates. “I’m sorry if I lost my temper, Tyler… I can’t have anything happen to him.”

  “Nothing will,” Kane said.

  “It’s been a long week. Here, take a plate. Chocolate makes everything better,” Travis joked with uncertainty in his eyes.

  “Why don’t we eat this in front of the TV?” He checked his watch. “The game just started.”

  Alec

  The game blasted through the surround sound speakers in the living room. Alec was excited for the playoffs to begin. He had scored tickets at Yankee Stadium for game six. If the Yankees didn’t win the title before returning to New York.

  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when he suggested they watch the game. Kane had the situation under control. He understood Travis didn’t know how Kane worked, but Alec did, and Kane’s word was good enough for him. He’d find out from Kane the exact amount he owed him. The money didn’t come from Kane’s pocket; his department had a contingency fund to draw from for such occasions.

  He’d switched from wine to beer. They were an hour into the game and chips and his favorite dip sat within reach. He was hungry even after all the food he’d eaten earlier. Everything was all set except for one little problem: Travis.

  His husband had been banging around in the kitchen. Any other time, he’d have offered to help clean up the mess. Tonight, however, he wasn’t sure. Travis walked by him talking on the phone. Something about car accidents and insurance settlements made him guess that Peter was on the other end.

  Alec did a double-take. Travis was shirtless and his sweats were hanging low—very low. Did he have underwear on? He leaned over to take a better look.

  He’d watched him all through dinner and saw how his shirt sat snug across his body, his dark hair feathered over his eyes. He wanted to bury his hands in it. Every since their kiss, he’d been having a hard time thinking about anything else.

  If the man was going to go shirtless, he was going to stare. Not his fault. Travis’s chest was on full display and distracted him from the game.

  “You lose your shirt?” he growled at Travis.

  Travis pressed his lips together in a frown as he sat on the armchair. “I spilled sauce on it when I was cleaning up.”

  Kane peeked at Travis out of the corner of his eye.

  “You watching the game?” Alec asked.

  Kane, the bastard, actually laughed.

  “Not funny,” he mumbled.

  “So Travis,” Kane began, “I didn’t know you liked baseball.”

  “Yeah, I used to go to games with my Dad as a kid.” Travis adjusted himself on the chair. “I’m sure my dad’s probably watching the game today.”

  “I used to go when I was a little boy too.”

  Alec tuned out both of them as Travis spilled beer on his chest. He sighed as it ran over his abs. Travis jumped up to go get napkins.

  “You two are ridiculous,” Kane said.

  “What?”

  “How long are the two of you going to do this?” Kane asked him.

  “Do what?” Travis asked, coming back into the room.

  “Dance around each other. There’s way too much sexual tension in this room.”

  Travis choked on his beer and retreated into the kitchen. Kane got up and followed him. He knew, damn it, that Alec would follow him.

  “I’m serious.” Kane leaned on the counter with a smug expression.

  “We can’t hook up with anyone. If the press gets wind, Grandfather will disown me.”

  Travis wiped the stove. Alec didn’t miss the stiffness in his shoulders.

  “I understand that. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” Kane put his beer on the counter. “I’m going home to watch the game.”

  Wait, what?

  “What are you talking about?” he asked.

  “You two need to talk.” Kane shook his head as he put his arm through his coat sleeve. “I can’t believe I have to spell this out. Yes, you can’t sleep with other people. But you’re married. You’re allowed to have sex with your husband.” He gestured between the two of them.

  They both looked at each other, stunned.

  “And with that, people, my work is done here.” Kane waved and walked out of the kitchen.

  Travis

  The apartment door closed but the awkwardness remained. Sleep together? The two of them? Who did Kane think he is?

  Stupid. The whole thing was stupid.

  Not that he didn’t wonder how it would be from time to time. Of course he thought about sex. And Alec. Alec and sex. Sex with Alec. He rubbed his eyes and dropped the sponge in the sink.

  He should take a shower and go to bed. It was way too early for him to sleep, but who cared? At least he wouldn’t have to be around Alec, thinking and wanting something he couldn’t have.

  They couldn’t sleep together. Married or not, he wasn’t Alec’s type. They knew each other. He knew the guys Alec’s hooked up with.

  Alec’s eyes were locked on his chest. He still was shirtless because he didn’t need to dirty another shirt. He could see the outline of his dick, huge, rigid even in the loose-fitting jeans he liked to wear.

  This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. Kissing was one thing, but sex… sex fucked everything up, literally.

  “I can hear you thinking over here,” Alec said as he pushed off the counter and walked toward him. Alec stalked around the kitchen island, at a slow pace, sure of himself as he flexed his shoulders and hands laid loose at his sides.

  “Wait.” Travis held up both hands. “We need to talk about this.”

  Alec continued forward until he cornered him between the counter and his body. Hands caged his waist, and he imagined himself in a puddle of
lust on the floor as Alec’s thumbs rubbed circles on his hips.

  “Why?” Alec tilted his head. “Your kisses are amazing. Tell me why this would be a bad idea.”

  “I don’t know but I’m sure it would be,” he whispered, not meeting his eyes. “Feelings would get hurt.”

  “Travis, look at me.” He kept his eyes trained on the floor. A finger tilted his chin up.

  “There. Much better. Kane has a point.” Travis sighed and Alec laughed. “Before you roll your eyes at me, hear me out and if you still think it’s a bad idea, then we don’t do it.”

  He nodded, mesmerized by the feeling of Alec’s hand brushing up and down his arms. The hardness of his body rested on his. Without a doubt, this man knew how to calm him, by his words, by his touch. Alec could recite the alphabet with his hand in the soothing motion and he would be lost.

  “We’re married, at least for the time being. Since we kissed, I haven’t thought about anything else.”

  Alec’s hands continued to soothe him.

  “So you’re thinking some kind of deal while we’re married? Like what? Friends with benefits?” Travis asked.

  “Really good friends who sleep together. No messy feelings involved, just sex.”

  He nodded. “That could work. I don’t want either of us to get hurt here. I’m really trying not to think with my dick right now.”

  “No one gets hurt.” Alec’s hips pressed him into the counter and he grabbed his hips to hold him still.

  Oh, God.

  “So you like to kiss?”

  “Travis, those kisses were hot. You’re hot. Do I really have to explain?” Alec asked.

  Holy shit.

  To find out that Alec wanted him was intoxicating. At this point, he doubted he would have enough willpower to turn him away.

  “You think I’m hot?” The minute those words left his lips, he wished he could take them back. He hated feeling insecure; he didn’t want to say or do anything to make things worse.

  “Yes, I do.” Alec skimmed his lips over his skin and trailed little nibbles on his neck.

  Travis took a step to the side and stared at Alec. There was a good chance they could get into bed and the sex could be the worst in the world. How the hell would they recover from that?

  “It could be bad, the sex. Suppose the sex is bad?” he whined.

  Alec laughed. The bastard. He was serious; there was nothing worse than bad sex.

  “It wouldn’t be bad.” Alec took one of Travis’s hands in his. He looked at their hands and then at Alec’s face.

  Alec smiled at him, but in his eyes there was a bit of hesitation. Maybe the big bad Army Ranger had a softer side to him after all as Alec squeezed his hand gently. Travis watched as Alec brought his hand up and kissed it. He turned Travis’ hand over opened his palm and licked it. He licked his lips and as heat flared in Alec’s eyes as he tracked his tongue movement.

  Softer side? Check. Dangerous side? Double check.

  There was a side of him that Alec didn’t know about, the side that liked to be in charge. And right now, that side of him knew he would ride Alec like a pony.

  “Okay.” He couldn’t turn him away.

  Alec studied him, eyebrows raised. “One more thing.”

  He nodded.

  “The sex is going to be good. Very, very good.”

  Oh my.

  Alec

  Alec knew immediately after Kane left: he wanted Travis. He also knew that if he let Travis get too far into his head, he’d analyze the whole thing to death and they’d never do anything.

  He could feel the nerves rolling off of him in waves even from across the room. Being this close to Travis was a treat beyond words, and if they could get past the talking portion of the evening, it would be even better.

  The couch was closer, much closer. He couldn’t risk Travis changing his mind. Lucky for the both of them that his sectional was extra wide and left plenty of room for them both to be comfortable.

  He took Travis’s hand and led him to the couch.

  “I thought you’d want to go to the bedroom,” Travis said.

  Shy Travis was cute, but he bet naked Travis was even cuter.

  “Hold that thought I’ll be right back.”

  He sprinted to his room and grabbed lube and condoms. He wasn’t sure what they’d be doing exactly but he wanted to be prepared for anything. Back in the living room, he dropped both on the end of the couch.

  “I wasn’t sure if we would…” He shrugged. “Just in case. We don’t have to.”

  “I don’t bottom,” Travis said as he stood behind the couch and stared at the condoms and lube. “I do—I have, I mean… I won’t with you.”

  What?

  “Okay,” he said.

  He reclined on the couch, opened his legs, and patted the cushion in front of him. “Sit.”

  “Not sure what’s going on here,” Travis said as he sat stiffly between Alec’s legs, his back to Alec.

  Time to loosen him up. He started at his shoulders. Man, they were tight. Alec gently kneaded his left shoulder then his right. He worked his hands to the center of his back then out again.

  Travis’s breathing even out and his head dropped forward. Perfect. As his hands kneaded his right shoulder, he followed them with his lips, peppering his shoulder and his back with kisses.

  He pulled Travis closer and nipped at his neck while massaging his chest. He made sure to pay attention to his nipples.

  If he mentioned that he didn’t bottom, the chance to sleep with Travis would vanish and the whole thing might end. The last time he bottomed was in college, it was uncomfortable as hell and not something he wanted to ever repeat.

  What the hell should he do? Being honest here might make him lose his chance. Was he willing to risk it?

  “Feels good,” Travis said. All rational thoughts left his head as Travis’s hands came up to grasp the back of Alec’s head. There was no choice to be made. He’d do anything to keep this man’s hands on his body.

  “Good.” He pressed his thumbs into his shoulders and moved them in a circle. “I don’t mind being on the bottom. Did you have a bad experience?”

  Being a bottom meant your partner took the time to prep, something he made sure of with anyone he slept with—especially after college. If someone didn’t take the time to prep him and had hurt Travis, he might have to kill them.

  “It changes things. I don’t want to go too far. Sounds stupid, I know.”

  “No, I understand.” He didn’t but he wouldn’t own up to it. They were married and, like Kane said they were allowed to sleep together. His dick was hard as steel. It wasn’t that he just wanted sex: it was sex with Travis that made him horny as fuck.

  Travis turned in his arms and sat with one leg over his.

  “I’ve made things weirder than they already were. Sorry.”

  “No, you didn’t.” He ran his hands up Travis’s back and he sighed. “I want you to be sure, though.”

  Travis got up, grabbed the lube and condoms and held out his hand. He let Travis lead him to the bedroom he used. He would have liked to be in his bed, it was a king, Travis slept in a queen but Travis led this show.

  He paused at the edge of the bed and let Travis tug him on top of him. Their bodies crashed into each other and Travis giggled. Even his giggle was sexy. Their lips came together, and he darted out his tongue to lick along the seam of Travis’s lips. He couldn’t get enough those soft lips, plump and perfect for kissing.

  Travis’s hands pressed their way under his shirt and glided up his back and he groaned as he lifted up to allow him to remove it. He licked his way down Travis’ neck and across his chest, dipping his tongue in the ridges of his abs.

  He paused to take in the gorgeous body before him. Travis in a suit was a sight to behold but Travis naked?

  Holy shit.

  Travis sucked in a breath and squirmed as he continued south to his groin, his tongue followed the V and he gripped his hips to hold h
im still as he nibbled at the hard length under his sweatpants.

  “Uh, uh.” Travis scrambled out from under him. Heat flared as Travis’s eyes rested on his hard cock. “I’m way too primed and I want to be inside you when I come.”

  He sat back on his heels and watched as Travis grabbed the condoms and the lube. Were they really going to do this? His eyes widened as Travis dropped his sweatpants.

  “Someone is overdressed.”

  He sure was. And he needed to get with the program.

  Travis laughed as Alec stripped out of his pants in record time, followed by socks and his boxers. He palmed his dick and Travis shook his head.

  “That’s mine tonight. Let me take care of you for once.”

  Holy crap.

  Travis pushed him on the bed and dragged him to the edge. His lips went to work, nipping and sucking. His legs were up on Travis’s shoulders as he licked up and down his shaft, gripping his ass. He rose up on his elbows so he could watch Travis bob up and down on his cock, his cheeks hollowed out with each suck.

  “Not gonna last…” he muttered. It was too much, and not enough. Travis eased off his dick with a pop, grabbed a condom, and put it on before he squirted some lube on his finger and engulfed his cock in his warm mouth. Travis’s fingers circled his hole, once before slipping the two of them inside. Travis didn’t pause or give him a minute to adjust as he took his cock deep into his mouth.

  “Aargh… fuck, Travis.”

  The fingers scissored, grazed his prostate, and within seconds he was coming down Travis’ throat. Travis swallowed every drop and let his cock drop on his belly, soft and pliant. He sank into the bed, his muscles a quivering mass of nothing.

  “I’m… huh… wow,” he said, an arm thrown over his eyes, chest heaving.

  Travis laughed and pulled him closer to the edge of the bed.

  “What…” he muttered. Thoughts slipped in and out of his mind without any semblance of order. What just happened?