by Lynn, Sandi
“She’s the reason I’m here. Something is going on with her.”
“How do you mean?”
“I had to practically force her to let me drive her home. For some reason, she didn’t want me to know where she lives.”
“She’s a smart girl. But she should know that you can find that out on your own.”
“When I finally told her she had no choice, she let me take her home but then wouldn’t let me go up to see her place. We’ve known each other for weeks and we’re going to be together for the next five months. I get the feeling she’s hiding something.”
“I think you’re being a bit paranoid, Caden. Maybe she doesn’t trust you. Can you chop that garlic a little finer, please?”
I shot him a look.
“Let me ask you this. Why is it so important to you that you see her place?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just want to see how she lives. She gave me the excuse that her place was a disaster and she’d be embarrassed if she let me up. And trust me, she’s not a slob, so I’m not buying that story.”
“Why do you want to see how she lives? All she is to you is sex. You pay her for sex and sex only. Unless—” His eye narrowed at me.
“Don’t be an idiot,” I said.
“You have feelings for her.” He pointed his knife at me.
“No I don’t.”
“Yes. You do. For fuck sakes, bro, just admit it. This is me you’re talking to.”
“I think she’s kind of cool and she’s fun to hang out with.”
“You think she’s cool? Seriously?”
“Fine.” I slammed down the knife I was holding. “She’s an incredible woman, and when I’m not with her, I can’t stop thinking about her. And when I am with her, I don’t want it to end. But you and me both know that nothing can ever come of it.”
“No. That’s what you believe. Not what I believe. You’ve kept yourself locked up in a prison and threw away the key. What happened eight years ago is in the past. Are you really going to punish yourself for the rest of your life? Goddamn it, Caden, it was an accident. You deserve to be happy like everyone else in the world.”
“I’ve been having nightmares about that night,” I said. “That hasn’t happened in years.”
“Because you’re falling in love with Brielle and it scares the fuck out of you. So you need to keep reminding yourself the reason why you locked up your heart and soul. If you still want to punish yourself then break the contract and get out of this stupid thing you have going on with her. But if you want to be happy, talk to her. Tell her what happened. Be real with her.”
“I can’t.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “Listen, I’m looking for a couple art pieces for the restaurant. How about coming to the art gallery with me tomorrow? Mercedes is spending the day with her mom. We can make it a bro day. We haven’t had that in a while.”
“Sure. I’ll go.”
“Great. You can pick me up at noon.” He smiled.
Later that evening, I was sitting on the couch with my laptop and I found myself thinking about Brielle, so I decided to send her a text message.
“Hi. What are you up to right now?”
“Hi. Having dinner with my mom and Sasha. What are you up to?”
“Not much. Just sitting on the couch doing some work. I was hoping I could see you.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m busy.”
“I understand.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“You too. If you want to talk, you can call me later.”
I didn’t respond. I wouldn’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed, because I was. This growing need to be with her was getting out of control and it needed to be stopped.
24
Brielle
I sighed as I set my phone down.
“Was that Caden?” Sasha asked.
“Who’s Caden, Mommy?” Stella asked.
I shot Sasha a look.
“He’s one of my clients, sunshine. If you’re finished eating, why don’t you go and practice playing the piano.”
“Okay.” She smiled as she took her last bite of sweet and sour chicken.
“Caden wanted to see me tonight,” I spoke to my mom and Sasha.
“You just spent almost three days with the man,” Sasha said.
“Either he’s a sex addict or he’s falling for you,” my mother spoke.
“He’s not a sex addict. Well, he might be.” I furrowed my brows. “And he’s definitely not falling for me. I let him drive me home today,” I blurted out.
“What?!” Sasha exclaimed. “Are you nuts?”
“He basically forced me to. He wanted to come up and see the apartment and I had to make up an excuse as to why I wouldn’t let him.”
“Brielle, you’re going to have to tell him about Stella sooner or later.”
“I can’t, Mom. He hates kids.”
“What kind of man hates children?” Sasha asked.
“A man like Caden Chamberlain, that’s who. He doesn’t ever want children or a family. It’s really sad.”
“You can’t keep hiding Stella. Now that he knows your address, what’s going to stop him from coming over here one night out of curiosity? I shouldn’t have to tell you not to underestimate a man like him,” Sasha said.
“Besides,” my mother spoke, “he’s your client and Stella has nothing to do with it. He can’t hold that against you. It says nothing in your contract that you have to discuss your personal life with him. All you are is a business transaction.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I narrowed my eye at her.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it’s the truth. Stella is none of his business. And if he hates children the way you said he does, then I don’t want her anywhere near him.”
I sighed and pushed my plate away. Sasha was right. What if he came over unannounced? Then what? Keeping Stella a secret from him for the next five months wasn’t going to be easy. Maybe he’d be okay with knowing I had a daughter. Maybe I was just overthinking it.
The next morning, I took Stella and Ben to breakfast and then I had him drive us around the city while I ran some errands.
“How would you like to go to the art gallery today?” I asked Stella. “A friend of mine has a couple pieces of her art on display and I’d like to go look at them.”
“Sure, Mommy. I like to look at all the paintings.”
Ben dropped us off at the art gallery on East 70th Street. I grabbed Stella’s hand and when we walked inside, I saw my friend Amelia standing by her artwork.
“Brielle, Stella!” She hugged us both. “My gosh, you’re growing up way too fast, little one.” She smiled.
Amelia and I got to talking about her art and Stella asked if she could go over to the table and take a cookie.
“Sure. You can have one and then come right back.”
“Okay.”
Caden
“What do you think about this piece for the restaurant?” Kyle asked.
“It’s nice. I think it would look good there.”
“Excellent. I’m going to go get the associate and tell her that I want to purchase it.”
“I’m going to walk around a bit,” I spoke.
I was standing in front of a painting. An odd one at that. It was a portrait of a naked woman lying on the floor in a room with several cats staring down at her.
As I was studying it, I felt a tug on my pants. When I looked down, a tiny human with bright blue eyes stared up at me.
“Hi.” She smiled.
“Excuse me, but do you know how expensive these pants are? I really don’t need your greasy little fingers touching them.”
“They’re not greasy. Would you like a piece of my cookie?” She held it up.
“No. I do not want a piece of your cookie. Where are your parents?”
“My mom is talking to her friend. What do you think this painting is telling us?” sh
e asked.
Was this kid serious?
“I haven’t a clue. Can you please take your cookie elsewhere?”
“Stella, I told you—”
The moment I heard that voice, I turned around and stared at the woman a few feet away from me.
“Mommy, I was just looking at this painting.”
Brielle cupped her hand over her mouth as a look of shock swept over her face.
“Mommy?” I said in an angry tone.
“I can explain.”
“Do you know my mom?” the child asked.
“I do and now I wish I didn’t.”
I turned and walked the other way as fast as I could. I found Kyle up at the desk and told him that I’d be waiting for him in the car.
“Wait, Caden. What’s wrong?”
I walked out of the gallery and paced back and forth on the sidewalk. Anger soared through me as I clenched my fists. I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe she had a kid and didn’t tell me.
“Caden, wait. Please. I can explain,” Brielle pleaded as she stood on the sidewalk.
“Explain what? That you had a child you never mentioned?” I angrily spoke through gritted teeth. “I cannot believe you.”
“Stella is my personal life. What we have is a business arrangement. I didn’t think I had to tell you that I had a daughter. I keep both my professional life and my business life completely separate.”
“Which brings me to another point. What kind of mother sells her body for money when she has a child?”
She raised her hand and I grabbed her wrist before she could slap me across the face.
“As of this moment, our contract is null and voided. I don’t ever want to see you again. And to think I was developing feelings for you.” I let go of her wrist and began walking to my limo.
“You’re incapable of any feelings!” she shouted. “You’re nothing but a mean, arrogant, and egotistical man who isn’t capable of love.”
I stood there for a moment, clenching my fist and taking in a deep breath.
“Caden, what’s going on?” Kyle asked as he stepped out of the art gallery.
“Let’s go, now!” I commanded as I climbed into the car.
25
Brielle
I stood there and watched his limo pull away from the curb. My body was shaking as tears started to fall down my face. I wiped my eyes, for I couldn’t let Stella see me crying. I composed myself and walked back into the art gallery to fetch her.
“Is something wrong, Mommy?” she asked.
“No, sweetie. We need to go home now.”
“Who was that man and why did he upset you?”
“He’s a friend and he didn’t upset me, sunshine. Come on, we have to go.”
The moment we climbed into the car, Ben looked back at me to make sure I was okay.
“We’re ready to go home now,” I said.
“Sure thing, Brielle.”
I pulled out my phone and sent a text message to my mom.
“Caden found out about Stella and it didn’t go well. Can I please drop her off with you for a while? I need to be alone.”
“Shit. Of course. Steven and I are heading back home now. Just take her home and I’ll stop by and pick her up. I’ll figure out some excuse.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Trying to hold it together was nearly impossible when all I wanted to do was fall apart. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t let Stella see me like that. When we arrived home, Stella went right over to the piano and started practicing while I went into the kitchen and cleaned up. A few moments later, there was a knock at the door, and when I opened it, Steven and my mom stood there. She could tell I was upset, but she didn’t want to make a big deal about it in front of Stella.
“Grandma! Steven! What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Hello, my sweet girl. How would you like to spend the rest of the day and night with me and Steven? We have tickets to see Annie on Broadway!” she spoke with excitement.
“Really? Mommy, can I?” She jumped up and down.
“Yes. Of course you can.” I smiled as I patted her head. “Why don’t you go change your clothes?”
“Okay.”
“And pack your pjs because we’ll be home kind of late and you can sleep in your room at my house,” my mom said.
“How did you get tickets to see Annie that fast?” I asked.
“Steven has connections.” She smiled. “What happened?”
“We were at the art gallery and so was he. Of all the people she chose to talk to, she chose him. That’s when he found out. He told me he never wanted to see me again and that our contract was over.” Tears filled my eyes.
“Oh, Brielle.” She placed her hands firmly on my shoulders. “It’s best this way. You know that, right?”
I stood there and slowly nodded my head as I tried to stop the tears from falling.
“Okay, I’m ready!” Stella announced.
I knelt down and kissed her forehead.
“You be good for Grandma and Steven and I’ll see you in the morning. Have fun watching Annie. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mommy.”
The moment they stepped out, I shut the door, leaned up against it, and slowly fell to the ground while the tears I had been holding back all that time flooded my eyes.
Caden
“Do you believe it? Do you believe she had a kid this whole time and didn’t tell me?” I asked Kyle.
“Calm down, Caden.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. I’m pissed as hell. I told her I never wanted to see her again and that our contract was over.”
“A little harsh. Don’t you think?”
“Harsh? Are you fucking kidding me? She lied to me!”
The car pulled up to my building and Kyle and I climbed out and went up to my penthouse. I walked over to the bar and poured us each a scotch.
“She didn’t lie to you, bro. If you would have asked her if she had a kid and she said no, then she would have lied to you. But you never asked and she never told you. All she did was keep her kid out of this damn business arrangement you had.”
“It doesn’t matter. She should have told me.” I downed my drink and poured another one.
“Why? Why should she have told you? Again, the two of you had a business deal. Do you know the personal lives of every single one of your clients?”
“That’s different!” I snapped.
“No. No it’s not. The only reason you’re so pissed off right now is because you fell for her. If feelings weren’t involved, you wouldn’t give a damn. And don’t you dare sit there and tell me that I’m wrong.”
I didn’t say a word as I downed my second drink and slammed it down on the bar.
“What kind of woman sells her body when she has a kid?” I shouted.
“The kind of woman where apparently no father is involved, and she needs to support her child. You don’t know her story, man. She told you what she wanted you to know, just like you told her what you wanted her to know. You weren’t completely honest with her about your past.”
“Why the hell would I be?”
“Exactly. And why would she? Think about it. I have to go. Mercedes will be home soon. Call me later when you calm down and can think rationally.” The moment he stepped inside the elevator and the doors shut, I picked up my glass and threw it against the wall.
26
Brielle
I lay on my bed with my head in Sasha’s lap as she stroked my hair and the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing fell down my face.
“I can’t believe he reacted that way. You should have seen him. He was so angry.”
“He had no right to be angry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What am I going to do, Sasha?”
“You’re going to pick yourself up and go on with your life.”
“It hurts so much. I’m in love with him.”
“I know you are, sweetie, and it sucks he’s such a
n asshole. But you’re Brielle fucking Winters and you don’t let a man keep you down.”
“I’ve never felt this way before. Not even when Daniel left. I’ve never been in love before until Caden.”
“I don’t know what to say, Bri. I’m sorry he did this to you, but that right there shows you what kind of man he is. He isn’t good for you or for Stella. You need to forget about him and move on with your life.”
“I’m done with escorting. Totally done. I can’t do it anymore.”
“And that’s fine. You have money saved. You don’t need to escort anymore. Take some time and think about what you want to do. Before you know it, Caden Chamberlain will be nothing but a distant memory.”
After she left, I started the bath, poured some lavender scented bubbles in it, and climbed in, sinking all the way down until the water was up to my neck. The physical pain in my heart was unbearable, so unbearable that it hurt to breathe. My head was a mess and I needed to get a grip on things. Maybe I should take Stella and move out of New York. Start over, somewhere fresh. Maybe somewhere by the ocean.
I climbed out of the tub, dried myself off, and changed into my pajamas. Walking into the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of wine and took it, along with my laptop, to my bedroom. Pulling up a map of the U.S., I looked at all the states. Florida? Nah. South Carolina? Maybe. Vermont? Perhaps. If I left, I’d be leaving my family and friends and taking Stella away from her grandmother. I wasn’t sure if she’d adjust. I sighed as I shut my laptop and set it to the side. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep.
The next day, my mom brought Stella home.
“Hey there, sunshine. How was Annie?”
“It was great. I wish you could have seen it with us.”
“Maybe we can go someday.”
She ran to her room and my mom hugged me.
“How are you?”
“Not good, Mom.” Tears started to swell in my eyes. “I’m in love with him.”
“Ugh, Brielle. You’ll get through this. I promise. You’re surrounded by family and friends who love you. Plus, you have that little girl in there and you’re her whole world. Don’t forget that.”