by Lynn, Sandi
“I know.” I wiped my eyes.
“You’re better off without him. And to be honest, I’m glad this happened now before you got further involved with him. He’s not a good man, sweetheart, and he proved it to you.”
“I know.”
Stella went over to the piano and started playing.
“I have to go. Call me later,” my mom spoke.
“I will. Thanks again, Mom.”
I walked over to the piano, sat down next to Stella, and watched her play.
“Why are you so sad?” she asked me.
My daughter was too smart and sometimes I underestimated her.
“Are you sad because of that man at the art gallery?”
“Sometimes adults get sad too, sunshine. Especially when they lose a friend.”
“Was it because of me?” she asked as her fingers played the keys.
“No. Not at all.”
“He said he wished he never knew you. That was mean.”
I pressed my lips against her head.
Later that day, Sasha came over and took Stella to Central Park while Ben drove me to the shooting range. I was filled with hurt and anger and I needed to release it somehow.
“Long time no see, Brielle,” Jimmy spoke as I walked through the door.
“Life’s been kind of crazy, Jimmy.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
I took my bag and went into lane three. Taking out my gun, I loaded it and began firing multiple rounds.
“Damn, Brielle,” Jimmy said as the target moved forward. “I get the impression that the target is someone you know. What’s going on?”
“Broken heart.”
“Aw, gee. I’m sorry.” He hooked his arm around me. “Want me to shoot him for you?”
I couldn’t help but let out a laugh.
“No. But thanks. If anyone is going to shoot him, it’s going to be me.” I smirked.
27
One Month Later
Brielle
I spent all my days and nights with Stella, and as much as she loved having me around 24/7, she did start asking questions. She asked why I wasn’t working anymore. I told her I was taking a break so I could spend more time with her before she started school in the fall.
One afternoon, I decided to go to Kyle’s restaurant and see if I could talk to him.
“Can I help you?” the hostess asked when I walked inside.
“Is Kyle Chamberlain available?”
“May I ask who’s asking?”
“Brielle Winters.”
“Let me go check. I’ll be right back.”
“Brielle,” I heard Kyle’s voice as he approached me.
“Hi, Kyle. I’m so sorry for just dropping in like this. I was wondering if I could steal a moment of your time?”
“Of course. Let’s go sit down over here. Are you hungry?”
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.”
We took a seat at a table in the corner and he had a waitress bring us some coffee.
“So, what’s up?”
“I need to know what happened in Caden’s past.”
“Gee, Brielle. It’s not my place to tell you.”
“I know it isn’t, and if I wasn’t desperate, I wouldn’t be here asking. Please, Kyle.”
“What does it matter now, Brielle? Even if I tell you, it’s not going to change anything.”
“I know it won’t. But I just need to know because I care very deeply for him. If I could just know what happened, I think it will help me move on.”
“Eight years ago, Caden was in a car accident. The same accident that took the life of his girlfriend, Cassandra. He received a call from one of her girlfriends. They were at a party and Cassandra had gotten involved with some drugs, so they called him to come get her. When he got there, he found her on the couch making out with some guy. He put her in the car and they got into an argument about the guy and the drugs. It was storming really bad that night, and when Caden was going around a curve, he lost control of the car and hit an oncoming truck. The impact of the accident killed Cassandra instantly, and Caden escaped with a couple of broken ribs and some bruises. He’s blamed himself every day for that accident and for Cassandra’s death.”
“But it was an accident,” I spoke.
“I know. But my brother doesn’t see it that way. Since that night, he’s closed off his entire self to everyone. He put all of his energy and focus into the company. I hated seeing him go through what he did. That accident changed him. He doesn’t allow himself to get involved with women romantically. It’s just sex, and if a woman wants more, he immediately cuts her off. Until you. I know my brother, Brielle, and he would never pay for sex. I believe he did that with you so he could keep you around without having to admit that he had feelings for you. Despite what you think about him, he’s not a bad man. He’s just damaged. How old is your daughter?”
“She’s six. I should have told him, Kyle.”
“Nah. You kept your personal life separate from your business life, and Caden needs to understand that you had every right to.”
“I can imagine what you must think of me and my line of work. Caden asked me what kind of person would sell their body when they have a kid.”
“I don’t like to judge people because you never know someone’s circumstances. You’re an amazing and smart woman, Brielle, and you’re doing what you have to in order to provide for your daughter. I get that and Caden does too. He just won’t admit it.”
“Thank you, Kyle. I’ve decided to get out of the business. I’m done with escorting and I’m going to find something else. I’m thinking about taking Stella and moving away from New York and making a fresh start.”
“You can always make a fresh start exactly where you are. Don’t let my brother and his actions force you away from your family and friends.”
I gave him a small smile as I placed my hand on his.
“Thank you for talking to me.”
“You’re welcome, Brielle. Any time.”
We both stood up from our chairs and I gave him a light hug.
“Bring Stella into the restaurant and dinner is on me.” He smiled. “I’d love to meet her.”
Caden
I spent the last month working more than I ever had, trying to keep myself busy enough so I didn’t have time to think about her. Did it work? No. It also didn’t help that I sat outside her apartment building and watched her come and go from time to time. The chaos in my head was overwhelming and I couldn’t control the thoughts of her and what happened that night eight years ago. Kyle suggested I go to therapy and talk to someone, but that wasn’t my style. I had a hard enough time opening up as it was and speaking to a total stranger wouldn’t be any easier.
I took in a deep breath as I walked into her building and took the elevator up to the seventh floor. Finding out which apartment she lived in wasn’t hard, especially when money was involved. Like I said before, everyone has a price. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, the tiny human was standing there staring up at me.
“Do you always open the door for total strangers?” I asked.
“I looked through the peephole first. You’re the man from the art gallery. We talked, so you’re not a total stranger.”
“Okay. Anyway, is your mom home?”
“She’s in the shower. Did you come here to upset her again?”
I furrowed my brows at her.
“No. I came here to speak to her.”
“You can come in and wait until she gets out of the shower,” she spoke as she opened the door wider.
I stepped inside and looked around. Her place was very nice and as clean as a whistle.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked.
“Umm. Sure.”
She pushed a step stool up to the counter, took down a mug, and poured some coffee from the pot into it. I stood there with my head cocked and stared at her. As she went to pick up the mug, I ran
over and took it from her before she spilled it and burned herself.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Cream and sugar?” she asked.
“No. Black is fine. What is your name again?”
“Stella.”
“I’m Caden. How old are you?”
“Six.”
“Is your father around?”
“No. I don’t know my dad. My mom said he was a coward and took off when he found out she was going to have me. She said we’re better off without him in our lives.”
“She’s right.”
I continued looking around and noticed a baby grand piano sitting in the corner. I found it odd she never told me she also had one.
“Nice piano.”
“Thank you. My mom bought it for me. I’m teaching myself how to play. Music is good for the soul.”
“What kind of music are you teaching yourself?”
“Classical music.”
“I play the piano too. My mother taught me when I was a child.”
“Really?” She grinned. “Can you play something for me?”
“I guess I could.” I narrowed my eye at her.
We walked over to the piano and I took a seat on the bench. Before I knew it, she sat down next to me with a smile on her face. I placed my hands on the keys and began to play a Mozart tune.
“Wow!” The smile on her face grew wider.
“It’s all in the feeling. You have to feel each note.”
“Stella, when did you learn—Oh my God!”
I stopped playing, turned around, and stared at her as she stood there in a black silk robe with soaking wet hair.
“Mommy, look who came over.”
“Hello, Brielle.”
“What the hell are you doing here, Caden?”
“I thought it was time we talked,” I replied.
“Stella, I need you to go down to Grandma’s. I’ll call her and tell her to meet you at the elevator.”
“But, Mommy. I want to stay and listen to Caden play.”
“Stella, now!”
“You better do as your mom says. I can play for you again sometime.”
“Okay.” She huffed as she got up from the bench.
28
Brielle
I stood there in shock as my heart pounded out of my chest. What the hell was he doing here? I picked up my phone and sent a text message to my mom.
“I’m sending Stella down. Can you meet her at the elevator? I just got out of the shower to find Caden playing the piano in my apartment. He wants to talk.”
“Jesus, Bri. I’ll go to the elevator now. Stay calm.”
“Thanks.”
“Grandma is waiting for you at the elevator, Stella.”
“It was nice to see you again, Caden.” She smiled. “Thank you for playing something for me.”
“Umm. You’re welcome, Stella.”
As soon as she walked out the door, I shut it and turned to him.
“Who do you think you are just showing up here?”
“Being as stubborn as you are, I knew you wouldn’t answer my call. So, really, I had no choice but to drop by unannounced. Stella seems like an okay tiny human.”
“She’s an amazing child and highly intelligent.”
“She’s very polite and well-mannered for a six-year-old. You’ve done a great job raising her.”
“Thanks. I try my best.”
I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. Seeing him hurt my heart even worse than it already was.
“She told me she doesn’t know her father.”
“Jesus Christ, what else did the two of you talk about?”
“What happened with him?”
“Short version of the story. He got me pregnant and the night I told him, he went out for food and he never came back. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”
“It must have been hard on you,” he spoke.
“It was at first, but then I realized he did us a favor.”
“I agree. How did you escort being pregnant?”
“I wasn’t escorting at the time.” I took a seat at the table. “I had gotten out of the business when I met Daniel and got a job as a secretary at a marketing firm. It didn’t pay much. Certainly not what I made escorting, but I did what I could. While I was on maternity leave, they ended up going out of business and I was left without insurance and a job. After I had Stella, I blew through everything I had saved. I wasn’t about to let the cycle repeat itself. A single parent with a kid and absolutely no money to support her. So I got back into escorting. It was fast and easy money and I could give Stella everything she needed and more. So when you asked me what kind of woman with a kid sells her body for money, my answer is the kind of woman who is thinking about her child and wanting to give her the best life possible.”
“I get that. I just wish you would have told me about her from the start.”
“Why, Caden? What would it have mattered? I was keeping my personal and business life separate. I always have to protect Stella.”
“I came here to apologize to you for the things I said. I can’t put my mind to rest until I do. So, I’m sorry.”
His apology was sincere. It was probably the most sincere thing he’d ever said to me.
“Okay. I accept your apology.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it, Brielle. You have a really nice place here. Why didn’t you tell me you also had a piano?”
“How could I? You’d want me to play something and I can’t play. Then you’d be questioning me as to why I had a piano.” I smirked.
“True.” He chuckled. “Listen, I should get going. I just stopped by to apologize to you.”
As much as I wanted him to leave, I didn’t. I wanted to feel his lips against mine again and his strong arms wrapped around me. But I wasn’t sure if things could ever be the same again.
“Thanks for stopping by.” I softly smiled.
“No problem. I’ll see you around sometime.”
He walked to the door and placed his hand on the handle.
“You told Stella you’d play the piano for her again. I wouldn’t want her to be disappointed,” I spoke.
He turned his head and our eyes met.
“Sure. Maybe some time I can. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Thanks. You too.”
The moment the door shut, I felt a sickness in the pit of my belly. It had been a month since I’d heard from or seen him and I thought I was getting over it, but then, seeing him here brought the heartache all over again.
Caden
I climbed into the limo and took in a deep breath. I felt more alive in this moment than I had in a month. She accepted my apology, which was good, but would she truly ever want to possibly see me again after the way I treated her? Shit. I pulled out the card of a therapist that Kyle had given me. It was the same one he saw when he was going through some shit with the company and wanted out all those years ago. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him just one time. Nobody would ever have to know. Instead of going to his office, Dr. Carlyle agreed to come to my penthouse for a session. He only agreed after I told him I’d triple his fee if he did. Everyone has a price.
Later that evening at seven p.m. sharp, the elevator door opened, and Dr. Carlyle stepped out.
“You must be Caden,” he spoke as he extended his hand.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet me here, Dr. Carlyle. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Who am I to turn down a triple fee an hour?” he smirked.
“Can I pour you a drink?”
“No.” He put up his hand. “Water will be fine.”
I poured him a glass of sparkling water and then poured myself a double scotch. I was going to need it.
I took a seat on the couch as he sat in the wingback chair across from me. I told him everything about Cassandra and that night and then I proceeded to tell him about Brielle.
“You took the first step with Brielle in apol
ogizing. That was very good, Caden. But I’m going to be totally honest with you, until you forgive yourself for the accident and Cassandra’s death, you will never be able to move forward with anyone.”
“How can I forgive myself? It was my fault. If I hadn’t been driving so fast in that storm out of anger, it never would have happened, and Cassandra would be alive today.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Forgiving yourself is crucial, Caden.” He looked at his watch. “Our time is up. I want to see you at least three times a week until you get a handle on this. How is tomorrow night? Same time?”
“Sure. Tomorrow is fine.”
After he left, I poured myself another drink, took it out to the terrace, and leaned over the rail. Talking to Dr. Carlyle wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, I felt a little lighter. I couldn’t stop thinking about Brielle and how I wanted to see her again. But I needed to take baby steps to gain her trust back. Plus, I still needed more therapy.
29
Two Weeks Later
Brielle
I thought after Caden apologized, I would hear from him again. But I hadn’t. I picked up my phone dozens of times and stared at his name in my contacts trying to work up the nerve to message him. But I couldn’t. If he wanted to talk or see me again, he would have reached out. Maybe his apology was only for him, to make himself feel better. As I was cooking dinner for me and Stella, my phone rang and Caden’s name appeared. Instantly, my belly started to twist, and my heart started racing.
“Hello.”
“Brielle, it’s Caden. Are you home by any chance?”
“Yes. I’m home. Why?”
“Is Stella with you?”
“Yeah. She’s here too.”
“I was wondering if I could drop by for a bit. I owe her a song on the piano. I mean, if you’re not busy or anything.”
“No. I’m just cooking dinner. I’m sure Stella would love for you to come over and play for her. She’s been asking about you.”