Say You Desire Me (Full Moon, #3)

by Van Mol, Stefanie

  From the corner of my eye, I watch her reaction to my touch. As soon as she feels my touch there, a small moan escapes her lips. Her eyes fly open and she looks at me.

  “You said you were curious. Do you want to know how it feels?”

  I push a little harder and laugh when she moans again. She doesn’t need to tell me how she feels about this, her body makes it perfectly clear, but I want to hear her say it.

  “Words, Jolene. I want to hear you say it.”

  “Yes,” she moans. “I want to know how it feels.”

  Very carefully I push my finger inside of her. I breach her rim and push a small piece of my finger inside of her.

  “Ohhh...”

  Her back arches from the bed. My God, she looks so fucking fantastic, an image I’ll never forget for the rest of my life. Jolene, here on my bed, naked, her hair spread out over the sheets, my finger gliding inside of her ass. She looks divine. I push my finger even deeper inside.

  “Oh, yes, John. That feels so good. Please give me more.”

  I love that she’s no longer afraid to tell me what she feels and isn’t afraid to ask what she wants. Who am I to deny her? She’s getting closer and closer to the edge, but I’m not ready to make her come yet, I’ve got other plans first. When I remove my finger, she whimpers.

  “Sh,” I assure her. “I’ll give you what you want.”

  I take a hold of her hips and turn her around. Now, she’s lying on her stomach on the mattress. I help her up, so she can put her knees on the bed. And that’s when I get the full view. She is sitting before me, ass up in the air. I just can’t help myself and I smack her on it. I’ve been wanting to do that all evening, and now that I have the chance, I’m not letting it slip past me.

  When I stand behind her, I push the tip of my cock at the swollen lips of her vagina.

  “Are you ready for me, Jolene? Hold on tight.”

  “Oh God,” she says, while she grabs the sheets.

  In one quick movement, I push myself inside of her to the hilt. We both moan at the same time. This is heaven on earth. I let myself enjoy the moment for a little while and give her time to adjust to my size. Very carefully I begin to move in and out of her, and it feels so good. When I can no longer contain myself, I move faster and faster. My own orgasm is almost there, but I refuse to come without her. With my thumb, I make little circles around her anus, and when I feel her spasm around my shaft, I push inside.

  The sound of her primal scream gets muffled because she pushes her head into the pillow below her. I can feel my own orgasm racing through my veins, wave after wave. I push myself inside her one more time and come deep inside of her.

  When there’s no more strength left in me, I let myself fall on the mattress beside her. I pull her against me and for a while we just stay there like this. Both out of breath, enjoying the feeling of our intense fuck session. I kiss her softly on her forehead and get out of the bed. Jolene mumbles that she’s tired and that makes me smile.

  I go to the bathroom and emerge a few seconds later with a wet washcloth in my hand. I clean her and then myself. I throw the washcloth toward the open door of the bathroom once I’m finished. I tuck the covers over Jolene’s naked body and make myself comfortable beside her. When I’m lying down on my side, I pull her close against me, until we’re spooning.

  “Good night, sweetheart.”

  “Good night,” she mumbles back, right before she closes her eyes and falls asleep in my arms.

  I WAKE UP WITH JOLENE still wrapped up in my arms. A guy could get used to this. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I immediately try to push it away. She will only be staying with us for this summer. She’ll return to her old life and I’ll return to mine. Touring, playing music, writing new songs. I don’t want her to get attached and give up her future just to stay with me.

  Jolene wiggles in her sleep and her butt touches my morning erection. Well, that’s not helping. My thought immediately goes to the events of the past couple of days. I can’t remember one single woman I’ve ever had this much fun with. Of course, the sex between us is great, fantastic even. I won’t lie about that, but it’s become so much more than that.

  I can talk to her, laugh with her, have fun with her. I can be myself. And that doesn’t happen very often. I love the way she challenges me. With most women, all I have to do is snap my finger and they do whatever it is I asked. But Jolene is not like them. She’s not afraid to tell me what she thinks or feels. And the more time I spend with her, the more I’m drawn to her.

  Jolene slowly opens her eyes and looks over her shoulder at me. I can’t describe what happens, but it feels like I’m struck by lightning. I’m falling in love with her. I realize that now. I don’t want her to leave me, and I don’t want her to go home. I want her to stay with me, forever. I want to wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.

  But that wouldn’t be fair for her. She probably already has plans, and after everything she’s been through these past months, who am I to stand in her way? So, I need to decide what to do. I can’t tell her how I feel about her. She would never leave here if she knew, and that wouldn’t be fair. I only have one option: Enjoy every minute I have left with her here.

  Until the inevitable end of this summer.

  “Good morning, beautiful.”

  “Good morning.” Her waking smile is to die for.

  I brush a lock of hair away from her face, tuck it behind her ear and kiss her nose.

  “The band’s taking a break this week and I’m thinking of visiting my parents. Would you like to come with me?”

  She looks at me with those big brown eyes of her, blinking in surprise.

  “You want me to come with you to meet your parents?”

  Fuck! When she puts it like that... That creates a lot of expectations. I have to pretend like this is no big deal, as if I bring home a new girl every week, even though that never happened before.

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “I was thinking... Wouldn’t you rather come with me than stay here alone, or go home with Max?”

  “Oh,” she says.

  Well, now I hate myself for making her feel like this. I can clearly hear the disappointment in her voice. I’m an asshole.

  “That would be nice,” she continues. “I’ll make up an excuse for Max.”

  See, this is exactly why I have doubts. If she wanted to tell her brother, this would have been the perfect moment, but she decides not to. It’s clear she’s not in love with me. She’s still just looking for a nice way to spend her summer. But if that’s what she wants, I’m okay with that. I will enjoy every second of the time I have with her. I’ll see where this goes at the end of the summer.

  I roll over in the bed until she’s pinned underneath me.

  “Okay, with that out of the way, now it’s time for a proper wake-up call.”

  She giggles and the sound of it makes my heart beat faster.

  Yep, I’m totally screwed!

  16

  Jolene

  Now that the last concert before the break is almost over, I can no longer postpone this discussion. I’ve been good at avoiding it this past week, but since we’re leaving tomorrow, I need to tell Max today. I have to tell him I’m not going home with him. He still thinks I’ll be leaving with him this afternoon to head home and spend some time together. The fact that I don’t want to return to our house is not the only reason I don’t want to go. I want to spend these free days with John. He asked me a few times already if I’ve already told Max, but I always come up with a lame excuse why I haven’t. He may think I haven’t noticed, but I know he hates that.

  After the encore, everyone leaves the stage. We’re in the lounge and everyone is coming down from the adrenaline of the performance. I’m standing by the coffee machine when Max comes to stand next to me.

  “What time do you want to head home tomorrow morning?”

  Well, there’s no time like the present. Let’s rip this Band-A
id off really quick. I turn around to face Max, but when I look over his shoulder, I can see John looking at us. So, he’s been watching me. He gives me an encouraging nod.

  “Yeah, about that, I haven’t really gotten the chance to talk to you before, but I can’t go with you.”

  Max looks at me with a pained expression on his face. This is exactly the reason why I hate telling him this. And I’m about to lie to him, and I feel like the worst sister in the world.

  “Why not?”

  A first tear rolls over my cheek. That’s the moment I realize it’s not entirely a lie.

  “I just can’t, Max. I’m not ready.”

  Max pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  Max pushes me back and looks at me. “You would never disappoint me, sis. What do you want to do instead?”

  “Why don’t you go home? Someone needs to have a look at the house. I’ll stay here in the hotel. There are a lot of things to do in the city. Maybe go to the spa, get a manicure, you know... girl stuff.”

  Max just stands there, speechless. Does he know I’m lying? He and I, we’ve always been close, so I know he can see it on my face when I’m lying.

  “Okay,” he finally says. “If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

  “Positive. Thanks, brother.”

  MY NERVES HAVE BEEN a wreck ever since I got out of bed this morning. I hardly slept. Today is the day John is taking me to meet his family. I still hate myself for lying to my brother. A part of me thinks I missed an opportunity to tell him the truth, but if I can’t even tell John, then how am I supposed to tell Max? It wasn’t even entirely false. I really don’t feel like going home. I’m not ready to deal with that part of my grief. It would be so weird to live in the house where we had all these amazing moments as a family.

  To be honest, I’m also a bit worried about John. Since that morning he asked me to come with him he’s been acting strangely. Don’t get me wrong, of course, we still have tons of fun and the sex is amazing. But I have this feeling he’s hiding something from me. I’ve been wanting to ask him about it, but I think it’s better if he brings it up himself. He should know by now that I’m here if he needs me. So, it worries me that he keeps pretending there’s nothing wrong.

  The past couple of days, I’ve sent out tons of job applications. After this summer, I’ll need a job. I’ve sent out my résumé to all the schools in the neighborhood. Let’s hope that one of them needs a new teacher. My dream would be to get a job at the school on the street where I grew up. Max and I went there ourselves, and I would love to teach there. Last year I did my internship in that school, so let’s hope they didn’t forget about me. It would be easy because I already know most of the teachers and students.

  Max still thinks I’m staying here in the hotel. But once we’re sure he’s left, John will take me to his family on his bike. My hands are shaking. I wonder why I’m feeling so nervous? Meeting John’s family should not be this big a deal. It’s not like he’s introducing me as his new girlfriend. I’m just a friend, staying with another friend, to escape another obligation.

  Right?

  IT IS AN HOUR’S DRIVE to his parents’ house. The beautiful, rural house is pretty isolated. The front yard is strewn with toys and children’s bikes. We pull over and John puts away our helmets, puts his hand on my lower back and leads me to the front door. The door is already wide open when we arrive.

  “Mom?” John calls out.

  “We’re in the kitchen!”

  To my surprise, John takes my hand and leads me through the entry hall, and we’re welcomed with a cacophony of sounds and the aroma of all sorts of food. A slightly older woman is standing by the stove. John lets go of my hand and goes to her.

  “Mom, you’ve shrunk again since the last time I saw you,” he says playfully.

  His mom smiles fondly at him, and you can see the love for her son on her face.

  “That means it’s been too long since you’ve come to visit us.”

  They both start to laugh and John pulls his mother in for a hug. When I see them together, I feel a lump forming in my throat. My mom and I used to have a close relationship like this. I used to go to her for everything, and that’s been taken away forever.

  “And who do we have here?” John’s mom turns to me.

  Her voice sounds curious but also surprised. As if she didn’t know I was coming. Wait, he didn’t tell her I was coming along?

  “Mom, this is Jolene. She’s Max’s sister.”

  She extends her hand to me. “Nice to meet you, Jolene.”

  I take her hand and shake it. “Nice to meet you too, ma’am.”

  “Oh no, please call me Angelique.”

  “Okay... Angelique,” I say sheepishly.

  A deep voice suddenly booms behind us. “Hi, son. Nice to have you home once again.”

  I turn around and see John’s dad. Now it’s clear where he gets his looks from. John is his spitting, younger image. As soon as his father sees us, he smiles and hugs John. When I look around it’s easy to see the love in this family.

  “Hi, Dad. Glad I could make it. It’s been too long.”

  “It has been, son. We’re so glad you’re here.”

  He gives John a pat on the back and then looks at me.

  “And who is this beauty?”

  John clearly takes after his father because he’s got the same flirting skills as his dad.

  “I’m Jolene, Max’s sister,” I answer politely. “Thank you for having me this weekend.”

  “Our son’s friends are always welcome. But if you don’t mind, I’m going to take him with me for a while. I could use some help at the grill.”

  “Oh, for sure, I don’t mind. Is there anything I can help with?”

  “We’ve got this covered! John’s sisters are outside, let’s head out there.”

  I follow John and his father outside. The first thing I notice is the beautiful pool at the end of the garden where four small children are bobbing around on a giant yellow inflatable duck.

  Angelique joins us.

  “Our grandchildren love the pool, good luck getting them out of it for dinner. Come, I’ll introduce you to my daughters.”

  I follow her and I can feel everyone watching me. Angelique introduces me to Annabel, her eldest daughter and her husband Eric. Her middle daughter Marie and her husband Ken. At the end of the table, there is still one sister left, the youngest, Fern and her husband Anton. Judging by the size of her belly, it won’t be long until we meet grandchild number five. John is lucky to have such a happy family.

  I shake everyone’s hand one by one, their curious gazes burning holes in me. John appears next to me and hugs each of his sisters. God, how I miss moments like this. Happy moments with my entire family. We used to be this close, but now there’s just me and Max.

  “John, when can we come and see a concert of yours again?” asks Annabel.

  “Whenever you wish, sis. All you have to do is ask, you know that, right?”

  John’s father calls for him from behind the grill. “John, what’s taking you so long? Rest assured, no one is going to hit on your girlfriend.”

  This makes everyone laugh, and I can feel my cheeks burning. John winks at me, grabs a few things from the table and rushes back to his dad.

  “He got hitched,” Anton says.

  “Oh no,” I start. “John and I, we’re just friends. Nothing more.”

  Marie looks at me with a strange expression on her face. “And you believe that?”

  “Of course, you guys probably think that about every girl he brings here.”

  Everyone goes quiet and looks at me intensely. John’s mother gives me a sympathetic smile and puts her hand on my arm in a reassuring gesture.

  “Jolene,” she says softly, “he has never brought a girl home before.”

  Oh... My... God.

&
nbsp; THE FOOD SMELLS GREAT and looks divine, but I’ve lost my appetite. Ever since they told me I’m the only girl he’s ever brought home, I’m confused. Is there more going on than John led me to believe? Does he feel the same as I do? I want to know; I want to ask him, but I’m scared. What if I only imagined this? What if I made the wrong assumption and embarrass myself in front of him by asking about it? Am I willing to ruin the friendship between me and John? What if I’m wrong and he never wants to see me again? I can’t imagine not having his friendship anymore.

  “Are you okay?”

  John’s voice snaps me out of my internal monologue.

  “Yes, of course, I’m just not that hungry.”

  “And here I was thinking you didn’t like my cooking skills.”

  He smiles and his damn dimples appear. A warm feeling spreads through my body, and I have to fight the urge to cry. I fight the tears that are about to burst. There is no doubt. I love him.

  What the hell did I get myself into?

  17

  John

  We’re staying the night at my parents’ house. We said goodbye to everyone shortly after dinner, and so it’s only me, Jolene and my parents. At the moment I’m putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. Jolene is sitting outside, on the edge of the swimming pool with her feet dangling in the water.

  “Is she okay?”

  This makes me smile. This is so typical of my mother. She always was the intuitive one. She might not have known Jolene before today, but she already knows something is bothering her.

  “I don’t know, after dinner she kind of went back into her shell.” I kiss my mom on her forehead. “Do you mind if I go over there to check on her?”

  “Of course not, son. Your dad and I are going to bed anyway. We’ll clean up the rest in the morning. Good night, sweetheart, it’s nice having you home.”

  “I love being here, Mom. Good night.”

  I open the sliding door and go to the patio. I stop outside and just stand there, watching her. She’s still sitting with her feet in the water, but I can see something’s wrong. I don’t know what because I thought she was having a great time with my family. I thought the family had been very welcoming. I slowly make my way over and sit next to her. Luckily, I still have my bathing suit on. My nieces and nephews insisted that I joined them in the pool this afternoon, and I have to say I enjoyed spending some time with the kids. It’s been too long since I last saw them.