by Minna Howard
‘I am. Looking forward to getting into my bed,’ Flora said.
‘Are you going now?’ Laurie stared at her, no doubt thinking that if a grown-up was going to bed now it must be quite late, so surely his father would join him.
‘No, I’m just fetching my mobile. One of my daughters rang. Her father was talking to her and left it in the room. I thought I’d fetch it in case my other daughter rings and I don’t hear it,’ she said. ‘So, goodnight and sleep well.’
‘Goodnight,’ Laurie said, ‘but I’m going to see the kittens first.’ He ran on down the passage towards the airing cupboard.
Xavier had opened their bedroom door before Laurie had darted off. Now, he turned to Flora, put his hand gently on her arm. ‘So, how are things?’
‘I don’t know. Hugo came to the room when I was talking to Ella, our eldest.’ She sighed. ‘Everyone else has a boyfriend except her, it seems, Hugo chatted to her. We didn’t have time to talk to each other.’ Their eyes met for an instant before she turned away.
‘Do you think he’s going off again once this boat’s repaired?’
‘I don’t know, we haven’t really discussed it.’
She looked so forlorn that he couldn’t resist putting his arms round her. ‘I can leave if you want me to. I talked to Darcy tonight. Her father is undergoing some tough treatment and she wants to see it through with him. Laurie will stay with me however long it takes. Wonderful for me, but not for her.’
Xavier felt Flora stiffen in his arms.
‘Laurie must always come first,’ she said firmly, her hand lingering on his arm before she left him.
‘I saw the cats. They do belong to those people and the mummy cat was so pleased to see them. Matt’s fetching a basket so they can take them home.’ Laurie came running down the passage.
‘That’s good.’ Xavier shepherded him into their room, closing the door behind him so he wouldn’t hear Flora coming back again and be tempted to waylay her.
He heard her steps going past their door a little later and after one more story, during which Laurie fell asleep, he went back to join the others outside. They were saying what a relief it was that the owners of this cat and her offspring had turned up to take them away.
‘They were so relieved, as am I,’ Sylvia said. ‘I’d have hated to leave here not knowing what would happen to them. Apparently Mazy disappeared on an adventure and somehow ended up in your airing cupboard.’
‘We do see various cats around from time to time,’ Matt said, ‘but they’ve never moved in before.’
Susie said. ‘I’m glad to get my airing cupboard back.’ She turned to smile at Xavier as he sat down. ‘Laurie asleep?’
‘Yes, he’s worn out. I read to him and he fell asleep in the middle of the story.’ Someone offered Xavier cheese but he refused. ‘It looks delicious, perhaps for lunch, but I find it stops me sleeping at night. Did you buy it in St Tropez?’ he asked Hugo, who was tucking in as if he hadn’t eaten for a week.
‘I did, found this tiny shop that specialises in it,’ he said.
‘So the boat you were in is now being repaired in St Tropez?’ He heard himself asking, though he wasn’t that interested.
‘Yes, not far from there.’ Even in the darkness, under the dim lights, Xavier could see Hugo was disturbed by his question, but he pushed on.
‘So where did you sleep while it was out of commission? Did you go back with Edmund?’ Why was he questioning him? It was none of his business, but why hadn’t he come back here the moment it happened?
‘Good point,’ Ben spoke in the darkness. ‘Were you up to no good?’ He said it in a jokey way but some of the others round the table laughed a little awkwardly.
Flora had come back to the table but Xavier couldn’t see her face in the shadows. He wished now that he hadn’t started this line of questioning.
‘No, we felt we should be nearby in case it was mended quickly and we could set off again.’ Hugo had now composed himself. ‘We stayed a couple of nights in rather a doss house actually, so I’m glad to be back here. I’m getting too old to rough it.’
Xavier was about to ask if he’d lost his mobile in the commotion and why he hadn’t rung his wife, but Susie jumped in.
‘Well, we are glad you’re back. We missed you.’ She threw him a smile. ‘The trouble with the boat sounds quite serious so you might not be able to sail for a while?’
‘We don’t know until it’s been properly looked at. It could be something quite simple, though Edmund has to go home in a few days. Anyway, it’s lovely to be back here,’ Hugo said, lifting his glass in a toast.
One or two others drank with him but Xavier did not, nor, he thought, did Flora. If only they could escape and have some time together to see how they really felt for each other.
39
Back in their room later that evening, Hugo behaved as if they were almost strangers. He undressed quickly with his back to her, got into bed and said. ‘Goodnight, sleep well,’ before turning over to face the outside of the bed.
‘Oh, Hugo, whatever is the matter with you? You are behaving as if we have never made love, aren’t parents of two children or shared a house and bed for almost twenty years.’ She stood in the middle of the room in her bra and pants. ‘If you don’t want to stay married or share this room, I’ll ask Susie if I can move to Martha or Sylvia’s room, when they leave tomorrow.’
‘No, of course you must not,’ he said crossly, hugging his pillow tightly.
‘I will, unless you start behaving more rationally,’ she said, angry with him now and wishing he’d go back to his boat with Edmund and leave her alone with Xavier. She suddenly yearned for him, for a new way of life, the two of them setting off somewhere, close and easy together as they had been all those years ago at Aldeburgh.
How sad it was that when you were young you didn’t realise how important it was to have no ties, to enjoy the freedom to love before the confines of marriage and parenthood. If you loved someone, you longed to make a home with them as she had with Hugo, but now it had become a trap and their children had gone, taking the key with them.
‘I just miss the girls so much,’ he said, his voice cracking. ‘I’m sorry, so sorry, Flora. It’s not that I don’t love you, I just feel I’ve lost the way to you.’
His words shocked her and she slumped down on the end of the bed. She had no idea what to do. Did he need professional help? She was suspicious of shrinks, after seeing the damage some had done to a couple of friends of theirs. At lease it was good that Hugo had recognised the trouble and confronted it.
‘We must find the way again,’ she said bracingly, though her heart was not in it. If only Xavier hadn’t turned up bringing with him the excitement of a vivid, more exciting love. And yet she knew, deep down, that it would not stay like that. They could love each other, live together, but between them would be their children, her daughters, traumatised by her betrayal and Laurie, who surely would not want to share his father with her.
‘We will find a way, Flora, I promise,’ Hugo said now, though he did not sound convinced.
She went into the bathroom to take off her makeup and when she got into bed he was asleep. She lay there in the darkness, listening to the cicadas calling to each other in the night, her emotions in turmoil.
She slept badly and by the time she struggled out to breakfast, Hugo had already had his. Martha saw her emerging from the villa.
‘Good, you’ve surfaced. We didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.’
‘Forgot you were leaving. It was so lovely to have met you both.’ Flora smiled at Sylvia who’d just appeared. Flora hugged them and then they were gone, driving off down the lane to the airport.
Eadie and Serge were there too, calling out ‘bon voyage’, as they left. Eadie turned to Flora. ‘What a nice couple. Susie and Matt have such lovely friends.’ She regarded Flora intently. ‘You look tired, dear. Put down your troubles while you’re on holiday and they might resolve themselves.’
If only I could, Flora thought, forcing herself to look interested as Hugo came over to her. ‘I’ve just had a text from Edmund, I thought I’d meet him at the boatyard, see how the boat is doing.’ His voice was matter of fact. He did not add, ‘Do you want to come too?’ And, though she did not in the least want to go with them, she felt left out, discarded.
She must not make a thing of this, read things into it that were not there. Hugo knew she was not interested in this venture with him and disliked Edmund, so why on earth should she want to go?
If she had said she was going to the local market to browse around with Susie among the pots and pans, bags, clothes and home-made jewellery, he would decline, saying he preferred to do something else, and she’d understand, so why couldn’t she cope with this boat business?
Perhaps he guessed her thoughts for he said gently, ‘I’m just going to check on the boat now, to see if we can set out tomorrow. Anyway, if we do go to sea again, it will only be for a couple of days and then, when I’m back, we could do something together, visit somewhere, or go to the beach?’
He was trying, she had to give him that. ‘OK,’ she said, exhausted by it all.
‘You can come with me now if you like, and see the boat,’ he said, without much enthusiasm.
‘No, I won’t do that.’ The last thing she wanted to do was to hang around a boatyard with Edmund. ‘Let’s see what happens. Though you must promise to keep in touch this time, not go into hermit mode and hide your mobile.’ She turned away, realising that Xavier was watching them. When he saw that Hugo was making for their car alone, he came over to her.
‘So what’s your plan today, Flora?’
‘I haven’t thought, have breakfast first,’ she said.
‘Laurie and I thought we’d have lunch at the beach. Do you want to come too?’ he said carelessly. ‘Hopefully you won’t have to rescue any more drowning children.’
‘Yes, thanks, I’d like that. When do you want to leave?’ Her heart was racing, switched on by the thought of spending the day with him. She struggled to sound calm.
‘When you’ve had breakfast,’ he said. ‘No great hurry.’ Seeing Susie approach them, he said, ‘Laurie, Flora and I are going to the beach. Do you want to join us?’
‘No, can’t today. Matt and I are going to meet up with friends for lunch. Have a good time.’ Her glance flicked over to Flora and back to Xavier, her mouth tightening slightly and Flora prepared herself for some remark, a warning, but Susie said nothing and went back into the villa.
Flora took her breakfast and sat down next to Ben. Laurie and Alegria were swimming, Laurie chasing her up the pool. She was so sweet to him, Flora thought, and had made his time here, among so many adults, fun. It was hard for her too, being so much younger than the rest of them here, barely out of childhood herself and searching for love. The episode with the unsuitable Jean Claude showed how vulnerable she was.
Alegria seemed genuinely happy to play with Laurie and though she was obviously attracted to Xavier, Flora was sure she was not doing it just to get closer to his father.
‘What are you doing today?’ She turned back to Ben, wondering if he’d like to come to the beach with them.
‘My nephew, Ricky, is arriving later to drive me home,’ he said. ‘Susie and Matt suggested he stay a couple of days before we set off.’
‘That will be good. How long will it take you to drive back?’
‘A few days. We’re stopping off with friends on the way just for one night. Ah, Eadie, what is your plan for today?’ Ben greeted her.
‘I told you the van is playing up,’ Eadie said morosely. ‘Susie and Matt said we can stay until I’ve finished my painting but now it seems we may be held up longer until Serge can get hold of the parts for it so he can fix it himself,’ she said, sitting down beside them.
Xavier came out of the villa and called to Laurie to get ready to go to the beach.
‘Don’t rush your breakfast; we’ll leave when you’re ready,’ he said to Flora.
‘Won’t be long,’ Flora said, feeling guilty, though why should she? After all Hugo had left her alone for the day without the car.
Laurie begged Alegria to come to the beach with them, but she said she was staying by the pool to work on her tan.
‘But the sea’s better,’ he said, disappointed.
‘All that sand in my things. No, I’ll see you later and we’ll do more swimming.’ She ruffled his hair and sat back down on her sunbed, slathering herself with suncream.
As the three of them drove down towards the beach, Flora wondered what it would be like if she and Xavier drove off right now together. She stared out of the window at the passing scenery, at the villas hiding among the trees. She caught a glimpse of a field of lavender. They passed a little bar where the old men were playing boules in the shade. She loved it here and she should be enjoying it with Hugo, but what could she do when he preferred to sail off in a creaky old boat with a man he barely knew and had little in common with. What was to stop her driving away from her old life into a new one with Xavier?
‘What are you thinking?’ Xavier asked as they arrived at the beach.
‘Just enjoying being here.’ She bent down to pick up her bag, hiding her face in case he could read her thoughts.
No one else from the Villa Emeraude was here. Xavier covered a wriggling Laurie with suncream. When he’d done the best he could, he turned to her.
‘Let me put suncream on your back,’ he said, like any husband would.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, longing, yet dreading to feel his hands on her. Aldeburgh had never really been hot enough for suncream though there’d been many other excuses to touch each other.
‘Please put some on mine,’ he said, his eyes lost behind dark glasses. He turned his back to her and she poured some cream on her hand and began to rub it in to the smooth skin and the knobbly bones in his spine.
‘There,’ she said, as if it was a chore done, not an exquisite, intimate moment. If Laurie had not been there she would have put her arms right round him and laid her face against his bare shoulder.
She sensed that he guessed her feelings. She turned away from him and opened her book as he, egged on by his son, got up and ran into the sea with him.
For the rest of the day both of them focused on Laurie. They swam and played and had a little sleep.
A French family next to them spoke to them in English. ‘Do you and your wife live in London?’ the young father asked Xavier. ‘I hope to go to work there soon.’
‘We do,’ Xavier said easily and then broke into French, asking what profession he was in.
Flora went on reading her book. It was natural for other people to think that they were together but she was married to Hugo and she must not forget that.
At last they drove back to the villa. Laurie jumping out of the car and running over to the pool to join Alegria and start the swimming race she’d promised him.
Beside Alegria lay the most beautiful youth Flora had seen in a long while. He had thick blond hair, blue eyes and a ravishing smile. He jumped up when he saw Flora and Xavier, ‘Hi, I’m Ricky, Ben’s nephew, come to drive him back.’
Flora saw that now all Alegria’s attention would be taken up with Ricky and poor little Laurie would be left out.
40
Xavier’s heart bled for his son.
Ricky was charming, but it was obvious he didn’t really know how to treat a child. They learnt over supper that he was the youngest, ‘a mistake after a great party,’ as he put it cheerfully. He was twenty and Alegria eighteen, the same age as he and Flora had been during that magical summer at Aldeburgh. He and Flora would not have appreciated a small child clamouring for their attention.
‘Why won’t she swim with me any more?’ Laurie whined to Xavier when they were getting ready for supper. His plea tugged at his heart.
‘I’m sure she will another time, it’s just that she’s being polite to Ben’s nephew who has just arrived and d
oesn’t know anyone here. He’ll be leaving soon to drive Ben back home.’
‘Today?’ Laurie said hopefully.
‘No, it’s too late now. It’s nearly dark. In a day or so.’ He tried to sound cheerful. ‘We’ll find some exciting things to do, you and I. There’s a castle Flora went to, we could go there tomorrow.’
‘Can Alegria come too?’
‘Let’s see.’ He hugged him, wondering whether to divert him by suggesting they ring his mother. Darcy had spoken to him yesterday and though she did ring most days Laurie didn’t seem to miss her as much as he had at the beginning. Better not to disturb her unless Laurie insisted on speaking to her.
Hugo had returned to the villa just before supper and now, with all of them round the supper table, he was being quizzed by Ben on the state of the boat.
‘Sounds as if it’s had its day,’ Ben said, after Hugo had gone on at length about the boat needing a new engine as well as a new rudder, not to mention a leak which needed repairing before they set out again.
‘It’s true it needs a lot spent on it to make it seaworthy,’ Hugo said. ‘I think Edmund was tricked into buying it. It was quite cheap and it’s a good looking boat.’
‘But not much use if it’s going to sink,’ Ben said incredulously. ‘Does your friend know anything about boats? I suspect there are lots of dubious people lurking about out here, selling dud ones to unwary people for the summer.’
‘I think you are probably right,’ Hugo said sadly.
Xavier noticed that he shot a glance at Flora, who seemed to be concentrating on her supper, carefully deboning the fish. It was rather a dull fish and the aroma of rich wine and spices wafting over from Eadie and Serge’s campervan made him wish he were dining with them.
Laurie was struggling with his. Xavier had taken out as many bones as he could for him but Laurie had given up and left it on the side of his plate while he ate the chips.
‘Shall we play a game after supper, Alegria?’ Laurie asked her hopefully, making Xavier’s heart sore for him. Laurie usually sat beside her but tonight she was sitting between Ricky and Matt.