When the Side Nigga Catch Feelings 1

by Jessica N Watkins

  Something came over me. I was already sharing one man who was supposed to care about me; I didn’t feel like sharing this one too. Not today.

  I made my way into his house, brushing past him. He watched me in disbelief.

  “How you doin’?” I asked Diamond, shortly.

  This bitch had the nerve to smile. “Hi. Heaven, right?”

  “Yeah.” Then I looked at Mello. “I need to talk you.” When he kept staring at me, I pressed. “It’s important.”

  He just kept fucking staring. It was a stare off! He was silently asking me was I serious. I was glaring at him, silently telling me that this wasn’t a fucking game.

  This was not a damn drill.

  “Really?” he finally asked. And the depth and tone of his voice had me. Even though it was laced with irritation, I loved hearing it again because I had missed it so much.

  “Yes, really,” I insisted.

  He sighed and looked at Diamond. “Aye, I need to holla at her. This family. I’ll get up with you later.”

  I could tell that Diamond was terribly confused. But she got on up anyway. As she collected her things, I felt some type of way about him calling me family. Three weeks ago, he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear, now I was family?

  As he walked her to the door, I sat on the couch. I nervously adjusted the T-shirt dress that I had flown out of the house in. I raked my fingers through my barrel curls, which had fallen into beach weaves because of the heat.

  Mello said something to Diamond lowly that I couldn’t make out. Then he let her out. Now that it was just him and me, the tension and feelings between us could be felt so much that the air around us was smothering.

  When he just stood in the middle of the floor looking at me, I cringed with embarrassment. I had never seen so much disappoint on his face when he looked at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whined.

  “Maaaan…” He groaned. “You know you bogus as fuck.”

  I shot up on my feet and went towards him. “I knoooow. And I am so sorry. I didn’t know what to say!”

  “You could have said something!”

  Walking up on him, I lightly grabbed his hands and looked up into his eyes. He tried to look away, but I stubbornly followed his eyes. “What? What was I supposed to say?”

  “Something! Anything! I told you how I felt about you, and you dipped.”

  “I had to!”

  His facial expression went from disappointment to irritation. “Why? To run to Ross? He ain’t shit!”

  “He’s my husband.”

  Mello frowned as he snatched his hands out of my grasp. “Yeah, he’s your husband who don’t give a fuck about you enough to treat you right. Hell, he don’t treat anybody right! I ain’t sayin’ I expect you to leave him. That’s your husband. I get that. But you could have at least said something to me. You dipped and then ignored me like I’m some pussy—”

  “I know and I’m s—”

  “I been the one here for you, Heaven! Me!” he snapped.

  The hurt was all over his face. I hated that I was the one responsible for putting it there. He had done nothing but put a smile on my face and made me see my worth. How dare I?

  “Who you been talking to for two years? Who you been venting to?” Mello badgered me, making me feel even worse. “Who you been lying up on Facetime with for hours at night because he was out fucking somebody else, huh? Who?!”

  I held my forehead, feeling the stupidity swim over me. I was constantly cringing from the sense that he was making. He was right. He had been the one who had been there for me. Besides Treasure, he had been the one who filled my days with meaningful conversation. He listened to me vent. Without even knowing the details of what I was going through, he made me feel so much better about myself. I hadn't told him all of my secrets, so he didn't even know that his conversations had helped me through missing my sister and dealing with Ross’ cheating and abuse.

  “I didn’t see it like that!” I swore. “I didn’t know!”

  “But you knew that I was your friend. You knew how we had been rocking for two years, but when I told you how I felt about you, as soon as that nigga called, you ran to him but cut me off! Me! Of all people!”

  Pain overflowed from his eyes. I rushed towards him and wrapped my arms around him so tight that he didn't have a choice but to let me hold him. He tried to push me away, but he didn't have the strength to do so. That's when I knew that maybe he really didn't want to. He was mad at me, but he wanted me at the same time. That made my heart go out to him even more. That was unconditional; still wanting someone even after they had hurt you. That's what I had given to Ross for the past three years. He cared for me like I cared for my husband. That realization was so eye-opening and heart-melting.

  Now seeing even more how Mello felt about me, I held him tighter. I wanted him so close to my heart that he could feel it beating for him. I let him go only to grab the sides of his face, feeling the softness of his beard between my fingers. I made him look at me. The passion in our eyes for one another was so intense. Even though I hadn’t seen how he felt about me for the last two years, it was impossible for me to ignore what was between us now.

  As we stared into one another’s eyes, I realized that coming over here was a mistake. I was finally seeing the signs. The people standing in that living room could never be friends again. It was too late. We were already so much more. I couldn’t deny it anymore. Not even if I wanted to.

  Yet, the power in our passion was drawing me to him anyway. I just needed to feel this intensity inside of me. It was something that I had missed just as much as I had missed his friendship. So, I kissed him. I hadn’t come over for this, but as our lips connected, I forgot about preserving our friendship. When I could taste him on my tongue, I forgot all of the reasons why I shouldn’t have come here. I easily forgot that I could never really be with him. I just enjoyed temporarily having him. I enjoyed being with someone who I did not have to worry about respecting me or loving me right.

  Suddenly, his frustration was replaced with aggression. He bent down and picked me up. He raced towards the nearest wall and pressed me against it. I held onto his neck tightly as he took my mouth with his. Then he grabbed my neck and forced me to look up towards the ceiling. He started to molest my neck with his tongue as he held me tightly around his waist with one arm. Through his jersey shorts, I felt his dick hardening against my pussy, which was leaking through my panties. The passion between us was so electrifying that it caused tears to fill my eyes.

  His nails grazed me as he pulled at my thong, pushing it aside. He continued to kiss me as he pulled his dick out of his shorts. I had no time to prepare myself before he thrust himself inside of me. I gasped as he reached behind me to hold on to the stair rail to support his weight as he drilled into my pussy over and over again. His ability to hold me up against the wall with one arm was making my pussy push out waves of my juice all over him.

  The dick was so fucking exceptionally good. I wanted to tell him how good it was. I wanted to sing his praises. But every time I opened my mouth, no words could come out. The passion was strangling me. And, as my mouth opened, he just took it and started fucking it with his anyway.

  My arms were hooked tightly around his neck as I bit my lips, trying to take every punishing stroke. His thrusts were so relentless, filling me up so completely. He was fucking me hard as if he was trying to fuck me into never doing this to him again.

  19

  Heaven

  ♫ I like it when you lose it

  I like it when you go there

  I like the way you use it

  I like that you don’t play fair

  Recipe for a disaster

  When I’m just try’na take my time

  Stroke is gettin' deep and faster

  You're screamin' like I’m outta line ♫

  Mello had had a point to prove, and he was going over and beyond to prove it.

  “Aaaaaaah! Oh my Goooood!” I
was in tears as he gave me the complete and utter business in his bed.

  After I had cum the first time downstairs against the wall, he carried me upstairs into his bedroom. He turned off the lights and closed the curtains. Then his sexy ass lit a candle and turned to some music on his phone that started to play through a speaker in his room. Then he lay me down and continued to unselfishly fuck the shit out of me.

  It had been an hour, and he still hadn't even cum yet. While he delivered stroke after stroke, he watched me so intently. I didn't know what that look meant. I had never seen it in any man's eyes. That look scared the shit out of me, but it made me cum over and over again at the same time.

  I cried over Tank’s voice that I could still hear over my moans. “Mmmm. Uh huh. Yes, Mello.”

  He was taking over my body in a way that I had never experienced. I had never had a man give me the dick with such unselfishness. He was so quiet and focused, as if his sole purpose in this moment was to make sure that I never had the nerve to ignore him again.

  ♫ You love it when I lose it

  You love it when I go there

  You love the way I use it

  You love that I don’t play fair

  You end up callin' me master (master)

  Say this universe is mine

  When we’re done it’s a disaster

  End up like this every time ♫

  “Mello…” My moan was filled with much passion.

  He bent over, placing his hands under me and gripping my ass. He was holding me right where he wanted me as he moaned into my ear, “Yes, baby?”

  That was enough. That was all it took to send me over the edge. I was cumming for him again. My body was trembling under him. He was torturing the fuck out of me, kissing my neck while moving inside of me like a beast and filling me up to the rim.

  “Ahhhh!” I moaned load as the pressure finally exploded all over his dick.

  “That’s it. Just like that. Cum for me, baby.”

  ♫ Who came to make sweet love? Not me

  Who came to kiss and hug? Not me

  Who came to beat it up? Rocky

  And Imma use those hands to put up that gate and stop me

  When we fuck

  When we fuck ♫

  Ross

  “What?”

  I grimaced. I knew that April was going to act dramatic as fuck about this. Something had told me to just have this conversation over the phone so I could hang up on her when she started being extra. But I at least wanted to give her the decency of saying this to her face. So, I had come over to her crib after my therapy session to tell her that it was over.

  “I can’t fuck with you anymore,” I repeated.

  I stood in front of her, watching her go through all different types of emotions as she sat on the couch. She was going back and forth between confused, hurt, and pissed. She looked up at me with the most confused look on her face. I could understand why she was confused. We had been doing this off and on for twenty years. I had never told her that she couldn’t have me. I just disappeared and reappeared.

  “Are you serious?” she asked me.

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  Her mouth was stuck open as she continued to stare at me in disbelief. “Ross, we’ve been together for years.”

  I looked at the ceiling, trying to bite my tongue. “We haven’t been together, April. We’ve been fucking each other for years, but now I’m done.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m married.”

  She slapped her thighs and shrugged. “And?”

  “And because I want to do right. What’s the purpose in us fucking anyway? It ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “So that’s it? You’re done? Because of that young bitch?”

  My chest heaved. “Don’t call her that.”

  “Wow.” Then she hissed, “Get out!”

  I simply nodded. “No problem.” I turned to walk towards the door.

  “You bet’ not call my phone asking me for shit either! Especially when that young-ass girl turns bad on you, Roosevelt!”

  I ignored her attempts to get me mad. That’s what she wanted; more attention, even if it was me beating her ass for talking shit to me about my wife. But I was intent on being a better man. It was past time for that. So, I opened her front door, let myself out, and closed it shut. I hoped to God that she didn’t come outside with her bullshit.

  She didn’t. The front door never opened. But I could hear loud thuds and things crashing inside of the house. April was spazzing out. We both knew it was best for her that she spazz out on her furniture than on me.

  On my way to my ride, I realized I hadn’t heard from Heaven all day. I took my phone out and realized that I hadn’t turned it back on after leaving therapy. Turning it back on, I got in my ride, turned the engine, and waited for my phone to power back on. That insecure little boy in me was ready to check the tracker app to see where Heaven had gone that day. But as soon as I was about to open the app, the overwhelming sight of red and blue lights behind me accompanied the sound of sirens.

  “What the fuck?” I looked in my rearview mirror. Three squad cars swooped down on me in front of April’s crib. “I know this bitch didn’t.”

  “Roosevelt Morris, get out of the car with your hands up!”

  Before I could react, I heard April’s voice suddenly. “Ross!” she shrieked as she ran out of the house.

  She was running towards my car, barefoot through the lawn. But she stopped suddenly when an officer shouted, “Ma’am, stay back!”

  I rolled my passenger’s window down and spat at her, “What the fuck did you do?! You that mad?! You called the fucking cops?!”

  “Get out of the car with your hands where I can see them!” an officer barked.

  “Ross, I swear, I didn’t do anything!” April cried as she stood on the lawn. “I didn’t call them. I swear to God! I wouldn’t do that to you!”

  Biting my lip, I griped. I slowly opened the car door and got out with my hands first. As I slowly got down on my knees, I was able to see just how many squad cars there were. There was even a SWAT team preparing to raid April’s house.

  April was right. She hadn’t done this. These motherfuckers had come prepared. They were looking for something and knew that it was in that house.

  I had been set up.

  Mello

  “I never want you to think that I don’t respect what you said to me that day. It took my breath away. That was why I was willing to go home with you that night. But when it comes to Ross, even though I know that he ain’t shit, when I say that he saved me, he really did. That’s why I respect him more than he deserves.”

  I just looked up at the ceiling as Heaven lay on my chest. I appreciated what she was saying, but I honestly still didn’t get it.

  “Saved you how?” I asked her. “Because he pays your bills? Because you don’t have to work?”

  “It’s not that simple, Mello.” She stopped and sat up. She took a deep breath. Suddenly, she looked nervous. She placed her hand on my chest that was still sweating from the work out that I had just had, trying to show her how good this dick could be if she would just take it. “My… um… Divine and I had it real bad when we were younger. You know my mother is schizophrenic and my father left us, right?” I nodded, and she went on. “Well, when my father left, my big sister left too.”

  My eyes tightened. “Big sister? You have another sister?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why haven’t you ever told me about her?”

  “Because she’s dead.” My heart went out to the sadness in her eyes when she said that. I rubbed her thigh as she sat Indian style next to me. I looked up at her as her hair fell into her face. Her sadness pierced through the waves that it was in. “But before she died, she had run away when my father left. She was tired of my mama spazzing out and acting crazy. She was tired of us not having enough money to eat. She was only sixteen. She was living on the streets, but s
he was trying to get herself together so she could come get us. Eventually, she met this dude that let her move in with him. He took me and Divine in too. Life was perfect then.”

  Even as she thought about it, she smiled like she was still living in that perfect past.

  “Divine and I had food to eat and new clothes. I could finally be a teenager, except for being a mother to Divine. And then…” Tears came to her eyes. These weren’t the same tears that she was shedding when I was dicking her down. These tears were full of anger and pain. “Then…” She wiped away the tears, but only more slid down in place of them. “She and her boyfriend got killed. They were killed in a drive-by on the expressway. I was pregnant at the time. And you already know about Sunshine’s father, so he couldn’t help us. So, Divine and I had to go back to my mother. And it was terrible. I had to beg on the streets for money just to feed me and Divine because I was selling my mother’s food stamps to get the lights back on. She still wouldn’t take her meds, so she was having all these delusions. She always thought I was an intruder trying to kill her. She fought me constantly. But I took all of that bullshit to ensure that Divine and Sunshine were okay. At seventeen, I had three kids that I was taking care of: Sunshine, Divine, and my mama. That’s when I met Ross. And when he let us live with him, everything was perfect again just like when Angel and Caesar were alive.”

  My eyes narrowed. She saw that and asked me, “What?”

  “Who is Angel and Caesar?”

  “My sister and her boyfriend.”

  Shit. Luckily, just then, a notification on her phone went off. She reached for it on the nightstand, so she couldn’t see me trying to look like what she’d just said hadn’t fucked my head up. She looked at the phone, put it down, and just kept talking. “When they were alive, I didn’t have to worry about how me and Divine would eat. I didn’t have to worry about anybody from my school seeing me beg on the corner. So when Ross started to cheat, I figured I had taken way worse than that just to keep a roof over my head.”