“Long enough for them to fuck each other up. Both of them are having trouble staying on their own two damn feet. I’m gonna fucking massacre Ryder!” She rumbles out, cups her hands around her mouth, and once again, begins yelling and screaming cuss words that would cause a sailor to blush. She’s very inventive with her threats. My brother’s balls in a vise are one of the things said that captures my attention… for a moment.
Kaci joins me and I hear her hiss as she takes in the scene before us. “You know that’s gotta hurt,” she snickers. I look over at her in shock.
“That’s our brother and my man in the center.” My words come out with distress and alarm. “I’m not impressed by this show of machoism.”
“Ah.” She waves her hand in the air at me. “They’re men, gotta let them blow off some steam somehow,” she states as she tries to defend their behavior.
“Come tomorrow, you may not have a living, breathing brother. Just saying.” Sky shrugs her shoulders as she continues to watch Ryder go berserk on Malibu. “How do you think he’s still standing?” Sky looks over at me, and this time I’m the one shrugging my shoulders in reaction.
“I have no clue where the stamina, or the ability to not fall flat on his face is coming from. Ryder has fucked him up pretty damn good.” My brows furrow, because I’m not sure if I should be upset by this, or jumping up and down in amusement. He’s been treating me like a second-class citizen for too many weeks to count. I’m not sure that I should or shouldn’t care if he makes it out of this unscathed or not.
“Ryder! That’s enough!” Kid hollers out as he runs his hands through his hair. It’s standing up on end and looks more like he’s been trying to rip it out by the roots.
“Kid, they’re like two men on steroids. Neither one of them is backing down… make them stop!” Sky cries out to her brother, then sticks out her bottom lip. It’s a tactic she’s used since she was little to get her older brother to succumb to her wants.
“Stand down. That’s a motherfuckin’ order!” Kid’s face is now red and the expression he’s wearing on his face lets everyone around him know he’s not playing around. He looks like the role of President that he’s recently become, his father would be so proud of him and all he’s accomplished. Finally, having had enough of the two assholes not listening to a word he’s been saying, he steps into the middle of the circle containing the stupid asses, and marches up to where the two of them are throwing punches. He reaches down and grabs Malibu by the back of his collar, dragging him out of the circle as Travler and Tumbler go in, grab Ryder and hold Ryder back. “Officers in my office. Now!”
“Skylar?” Travler calls out to her, “come tend to your man.”
“That’s my cue to go babysit. Talk to you ladies later.” Sky hops off the table and marches over to her man with a permanent scowl etched on her face.
“Let the good times roll,” Kaci, forever the smartass says as she grabs my hand, giving it a small, but comforting squeeze. “It’ll all work out.” I snort in response, because at this point, I could care less. My stress level would lessen if I let this relationship go and move on.
“Yep.” My one-word response causes her to lift her eyebrow in question, to which I only shrug my shoulders… nothing else to say. I don’t want to get into this conversation with her. I just want it all to go away. Fern was our glue; now that she’s gone, things are unraveling. I haven’t felt loved or wanted since the day Malibu received a phone call that seemed to change everything between us. I just wish I knew what was said so I could try to fix things.
Even if we separate, I would like to leave the relationship with clarification and resolve. I don’t want to disappoint Fern; even though she’s gone, she will forever live in my heart and soul each and every day. I just know she’s looking down on us and shaking her head in disapproval.
2
Malibu
“Sit!” Kid snarls out as we all make our way into the office. I have a Kleenex placed on my bleeding nose. I give Ryder a ‘fuck off’ look as I take my seat. Skylar threw some stuff at him and stormed away as we were heading into the meeting. He gives me a ‘you’re fucking dead’ look in return. He has a bag of frozen veggies on his eye, one I’m assuming was what Skylar tossed his way before leaving him. It takes every ounce of restraint in me to keep from jumping over this table and finishing what we started. A low rumble oscillates from my chest as I think about the fact that my brother came at me with fists flying the way he did. Brothers are supposed to have each other’s backs at all times; women come second to the club. “A bunch of fucking children! That’s what the fuck I’m dealin’ with on a daily basis around here. All the while, I’m tryin’ to grow a club and get us off the fuckin’ ground. What the hell is wrong with you two?” Kid bellows out his question.
“Everything would be copasetic if Ryder didn’t think he has a voice or opinion in my relationship with Kassi,” I inform him with venom laced in my voice.
“Fuck off, motherfucker. That’s my goddamned sister you’re treating like trash! I forewarned you, asshole, what would happen to you if you ever treated her the way you are!” The poisonous tone he uses causes my head to snap up in his direction. He’s beyond pissed, he’s fucking livid. I can’t begin to fathom what the fuck his actual problem is!
“Sister or not, she’s my woman. I will treat her, and deal with situations with her, how I see fit, Ryder. You should mind your own damn business, fuckface!” I shout.
“Is that right?” Kid asks, but it comes out more of an allegation than a question needing to be answered. “Because the way I see it, is that she’s club. She’s a sister, a founding member's daughter, and she’s to be regarded as such at all times.” His scoff causes bumps to form on my arms.
“Respect is earned, it has to be kept. It’s not given freely,” I answer. Not in such a respectful manner either. I know I’ve hit a nerve when I see all of the men sitting around this table’s shoulders stiffen as a look of anger is plastered on all of their faces.
“Come again?” Travler questions. His eyebrows have risen high enough that they are virtually connected with his hairline. I know he’s close to Kassi; she is his Ol’ lady’s sister and the aunt to his son. But again, this is my motherfucking relationship. It’s no one else’s business.
“Everyone needs to mind their own! I don’t put my foot in any of your relationships. When you fuck up, or y’all are fightin’, I let you work it all out without any input from me. Where do you all get off getting in the middle of mine and Kassi’s?” I’m wound up and can’t keep my mouth shut any longer.
“Kassi is my business!” Ryder yells out as he stands up from his chair. As he rose up, it was so dynamic that his chair went flying back and crashed on the floor.
“Not when it comes to her and me!” I shove myself up and place my hands on the table, leaning over it. I get as far into his face as I can with this slab of wood between us. “She’s mine, my responsibility and mine to talk to and treat as I see fit! I’ve had enough of you all interfering where it’s none of your damn business!” I seethe. I can feel the veins bulge in my neck as my rage spikes higher.
“We pride ourselves on family, Malibu. Sniper was a founding member…” I don’t let him finish what he was fixing to say before I blow up.
“He abandoned the club!” I jab my finger at him, continuing, “he left his brothers, his kids, all of us! As far as I’m concerned, he’s no longer a brother I have to show respect for.” When I say the word I, my finger goes from them and points to my chest.
“But I am,” Ryder replies. “I am a member, I’m your officer, and as such, I deserve your respect. My family, my sisters, we all deserve it. My father may be a coward, Malibu, but that’s not on me nor is it on my sisters. Our guilt is free where he’s concerned. Fuck you very much for throwing that shit in my face! Is that what has you up in arms when it comes to Kassi? Is that why you’ve withdrawn and treat my family as if we’re the shit out of a cow’s ass?” The anger that
was present on his face now holds a look of hurt and disbelief. “Fuck you, Malibu. I’m outta here, Kid.” Kid, Travler and Tumbler all call out his name as he struts away and slams the door closed behind him.
“You just fucked up, brother,” Tumbler sighs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I know it’s not Sniper turning his back on us all. That was a bullshit thing to bring up, it’s been years, we’ve all moved forward. Sniper was weak, but Ryder and the girls aren’t.” He looks me right in the eyes before shaking his head at me. “You need to get your priorities straight and remember who you are, who we are.”
“I think Kassi should come stay with Kaci and me for a bit. At least until you get things sorted and know what you want,” Travler informs me.
I shake my head no. I can’t get pertinent information from her if she’s living somewhere else. I need to get this figured out, and soon. “She stays where she is. She’s mine, and we’ll fix things. Can’t do that if she’s living elsewhere.” Without waiting on permission to leave, I get up and walk out of the room. I can’t share with them what all’s wrong with me, because without a mountain of proof, I’ll be the one hanging in the wind without my brothers and family. That’s not something I’m willing to risk.
Kassi
I end up sneaking away and leaving the clubhouse, walking down to the local park. It’s a beautiful day outside and the fresh air will do me some good. What was it about that one phone call that changed everything? We were just moving forward in our grieving process without our girl. We were learning to deal with a duo conjunction instead of a trio relation. I first fell in love with Fern, gave her my heart, my body, my trust and she loved me back just as fiercely. Many of my friends and family didn’t understand the dynamics of our relationship, they all wholeheartedly believe we shared Malibu, and we did; but he shared us with each other too.
Fern understood me like no one else in my life ever has. Not even my twin sister, Kaci, gets me the way that she did. I’ve always been a free spirit, artistic, dressed a little wild, did my hair with multiple colors streaming through the locks. Some were bold when I was a teenager, now as I’ve grown, I enjoy the blondes and black mixed colors. Kaci always goes with one solid color, it’s our way of making sure we can be told apart. Looking exactly like someone else does leaves no room for individuality. When I look in the mirror, I always see Kaci looking back at me; not that it’s a hardship, we’re both pretty hot after all, but sometimes I want to see my individual reflection gazing back at me. So, I started dressing differently; wild, more provocatively, that’s when others started seeing a difference between the two of us when they looked at us, but me, I still see her. Especially since losing Fern. I’ve lost my identity, and I need to find it again. I miss who I was. I long for her to find her way back to me.
I finally felt like an independent individual, not Kaci’s twin—but Kassi, the beautiful, intoxicating woman she couldn’t keep her hands off of. Why? Why did you have to leave me? I wish it’d been me, that way everyone would still be happy. I’m not feeling sorry for myself; I’m feeling sorry for all of those she’s left behind. I have two people who would miss and mourn my loss on this earth. Fern, she had an entire family, a brother, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and a shit load of cousins. Ryder has Sky, and Kaci has Travler, they’d both be able to be happy and move on with their lives.
Not liking the dark, unchangeable path my thoughts are leading me down, I decide to begin thinking about the next project I want to start. No one knows, but I’ve been writing a memoir, I’m using it as a way to express my grief. It’s begun helping me deal with the struggles I’ve been facing when it comes to Malibu, my parents’ abandonment, and my memory loss from the night from hell—which is what I refer to from the night the light dimmed in my life. When I reach the swings, I sit down and shove my feet forward to get some leverage, so I can swing my legs forward and backward to gain some air flow beneath me. Once I have gained the wind underneath me, I close my eyes and let the breeze take me away. I feel the sunshine on my face as the wind goes through my hair. Letting all of my worries go, I enjoy the freedom swinging is giving me. It’s not as good as a bike ride through the city roads, but I can almost imagine that’s what I’m doing right now.
Used to, when I was having a restless fit, Malibu would take me on a long ride, help me let the worries and stress of the day go—where I would feel absolutely nothing. He no longer offers, and I’m nowhere close to the mindset to ask him for a ride. Wishing, not for the first time, that I knew how to ride and that I owned my own Harley, crosses my mind. Then, I could get my own brand of mindless freedom while feeling the wind in my hair from the open road. As I’m thinking this, I hear the engine of a bike roaring down the road, the gears are shifting quickly and I know it’s someone who’s in a hurry to get away. I open my eyes and look over to my right and realize I know that bike… intimately. I’d know it anywhere; I’ve had my thighs wrapped around it.
Malibu.
He’s flying down the road at an astronomical rate of speed, not even wearing his helmet. The fool. I fear he’s going to crash and get severely hurt. Slowing the swing down by dragging my feet, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a text to Travler. I begin furiously texting, letting him know what I just witnessed. I watch the screen, can see that he opened the message, but no reply comes. I sigh, knowing that something must’ve gone wrong in the meeting Kid called, but discern there’s nothing I can do to retie the binds that have unraveled over time. That’s up to them to fix.
All I can do is hope and pray that my family comes out of this hard time intact. Myself included. Malibu and I may not correct the issues between us, but my prayer is that we can all remain friends and family. No matter what happens in life, family should always come first and foremost in our lives. A pipe dream I’m sure. I doubt there’s any way after the suffering we’ve endured that we’ll come out being friendly to one another.
Getting involved with a brother was a mistake I wish I’d never made. I stand to lose everything, while he will come out shitting rainbows and still be included in all things club related. I’ll be on the outside looking in when we go our own way… and I’m feeling like that’s the way things are going to play out in the end. Me on my own, and Malibu living the lime life.
Story of my life!
3
Kassi
I wake to the sounds of crashing and him cursing. I jerk up in bed and pay attention, tuning into my sense of hearing. Sweat is beading on my head and my chest is heaving with panic. I’ve been in this scenario before, only last time I wasn’t by myself, Fern was asleep in the bed beside me. A memory tries to come back, but just as quickly vanishes, leaving me with a splitting, blinding headache.
“Stupid motherfucking chair. Everything is always in the damned way.” Malibu’s speech is slurred and I know he’s spent the day and night drinking his sorrows away. I moved myself into the guest bedroom today, not wanting to share the same bed and not have his arms wrapped around me before and after he succumbs to the darkness. It seems that while also in sleep, he needs to be separate from me, keeping the distance that is offered to me through the daylight hours. I lay back in bed and listen as he hits the wall several times as he walks down the hallway to our… I mean, his bedroom. The door swings open and I can hear it bash into the bedroom wall. “Oops, where’d that wall come from?” he snickers. I can’t help but roll my damn eyes at his lack of quietness. “Kassi! The fuck are you at?” he bellows, and I now know he’s made it to the bed and noticed it’s empty.
Recognizing the signs, knowing that he’s fixing to go ballistic, I crawl out of the bed and adjust my nightgown. I normally sleep in the nude, he has always insisted on it, but I need a barrier from him. And if wearing something to sleep in helps give that to me, then I’m gonna use every weapon in my arsenal I have and can use to protect myself. Walking out into the hallway, I quietly creep down to the bedroom. I’m not sure why I’m slowly walking that way, but I’m in no
hurry to make it to him.
“Kassi!” he yells out again, stumbling down the hallway. I close my eyes not knowing how lightly I’ll be walking on eggshells this time. He eventually bumps into me, causing me to lose my balance and fall backward, hitting my head on the edge of the wall on my way down. Black spots dance in front of my eyes and my chest is tight, I’m having a hard time catching my breath. “Dammit, Kassi. The fuck are you doing sneaking around in the dark?” He doesn’t sound concerned, more annoyed that he ran into me.
“I was just coming to tell you I was in the other room.” I place my hand on the back of my head, thankful that I don’t feel any blood and am grateful that I am beginning to breathe normally again. I’m still in pain, but the panic has subsided.
“Why the fuck are you not in our bed?” he asks, once again slurring his words.
“Do you really even care, Malibu?” I’m not sure how it is I want him to answer. A part of me wants him to beg for forgiveness and hold me in his arms, letting me know that our love is no longer one-sided… that he still wants me to be his. The other part of me wants him to finally cut me loose so that I can move on… Lord knows I don’t have the strength right now to let go of him. I need him to be the strong one and make me leave.
“If that’s where you wanna sleep, then go for it.” He stands up and walks away. Not once does he ask me if I’m okay, if I need anything.
“Thanks a lot for the help up, asshole,” I murmur sarcastically underneath my breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, no need to bother making sure I don’t need any medical attention or intervention.” Annoyed, I get to my hands and knees then use my hands to climb up the wall as I stand on my wobbly legs. I sway just a little before regaining my bearings. Walking into the guest room, now mine, I lightly close the door then lean against it. The tension between us isn’t getting any better, if anything, it’s worse each day.
Forever Yours: Rage Ryders Templeton Chapter Book 2 Page 2