Deciding I have to do something about my current predicament, figure out what my next move is going to be, I climb into bed. Tomorrow. I’ll figure everything out tomorrow. Tonight, I’m gonna try to get some sleep. It’s the only time I don’t worry about all of the wrongs in my life. It’s also the only place I see, feel and am loved by Fern again.
Malibu
I wake up sprawled out on the king-sized bed. All of my clothes are still on my body, including my damn boots, and I have a brain splitting headache. Attempting to open my eyes, I realize that’s a mistake as soon as the sun, streaming through the window above my bed, hits my sensitive eyes. “Fucking hell,” I groan as I roll on my side feeling my world turn on its axis. My stomach rolls which gets me moving as I head into the bathroom. After worshiping the toilet bowl for twenty minutes, I then hop into the shower and wash the stink and stench of the night before’s drinking and smoke smell away. Enjoying the heated water sliding over my head and down my back, my thoughts drift to the notes, letters and phone calls I’ve been receiving. I wish I could talk to one of my brothers about it, have them give me advice and help me figure things out. But I can’t go to them, and I can’t go to Kassi. I feel alone, angry, vindictive, hurt and I hate living with this red haze coating my vision.
The need to kill and dole out justice rules my thoughts. I want to make every one of the fuckers pay who took one of my women away from me forever. The other woman in my life has no memory of the night they were attacked; they’ve managed to put it into my head that Kassi isn’t loyal and has betrayed me in the worst kind of way. I’ve been living with a bad feeling about the entire situation since the night it went down. Things are much worse since Kassi has no recollection, making me wonder if the whole thing is a performance on her part or if her memory loss is actually authentic. If I’d been the one who betrayed those around me, I’d act as if I didn’t remember a damn thing either.
My contemplations are beginning to feel like a broken record, forever playing on a repeated loop in my head. Living like this is weighing down on me and it’s causing me to lose the respect of everyone around me. Something has gotta give; I’m going to have to do something drastic.
And if what I’m planning backfires on me, I’ll lose everything I’ve worked so hard for.
Possibly, my life.
* * *
It takes a full day of lying in bed, drinking clear liquids and sleeping to get past this doozy of a hangover. I’ve not heard a peep from Kassi, not that it worries me too much. She’s either hiding out in her room, or she snuck away before I had the chance to wake up. Then, most likely ended up coming home after I passed out. Either one is a possibility; either way, I want to have a plan in place before I seek her out.
The lies are done, I’m ready to get to the bottom of this shit… now! One way or another, the secrets surrounding that night need to be unfolded.
Kassi
I know it’s cowardly of me, but yesterday, I was as quiet as a mouse when I left the house. I haven’t returned yet, instead I decided to get a motel room and have a night free of all the emotions and drama I deal with when I’m at home. I had the unusual chance to peacefully soak in a bubble bath, enjoyed watching some mindless television shows, snacked all day on junk food and slept undisturbed. For the first time in weeks, I slept like the dead, I wasn’t up and down all night feeling sorrow and crying for all that I’ve lost. The bags under my eyes had bags; today they don’t look as swollen and dark. I needed that uninterrupted time to myself.
Dawning recognition takes root; I need to go home and face the music. I put on the clothes I wore yesterday and unhappily leave the motel. Today, I have to think and figure my life out. What’s sad is that even though Malibu hasn’t held me lately, loved on me, showed me any form of comfort or even been nice to me, I miss being near him. This tells me that my love for him hasn’t diminished as much as I’d thought it had. I’ve allowed my anger and hurt to overrule my head and heart. I don’t want to lose him; I’ve decided instead to fight for him… for us. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him love me again.
I don’t want to lose everything.
I’ve worked too damn hard to throw it all away.
It’s time to hold my head up high and fight for what’s mine.
Getting into my car, I decide to head to his favorite coffee shop and get him the java and breakfast that usually makes him happy and has always put a smile on his face. I’d love to see his dimples again; they brighten up his eyes and light up my world. Don’t get me started on his laugh, no matter what sort of mood you are in, you can’t help but join him in said laughter, it’s contagious.
I know I can do this. I can bring him back from whatever darkness inside of him is trying to swallow him up. I won’t allow his demons to win this war, I will be the victor. He will be mine again. With or without Fern, we’re meant to be.
* * *
I walk into our house, after grabbing his cup of joe, his blueberry muffin and cherry filled pastry, to find him sitting in the recliner, staring at the blank television set. “Malibu,” I call out; his head swiftly turns in my direction, yet he says not one word to me. “Um,” I clear my throat, “I got you your favorite coffee and treats.” I quickly walk over and set them down on the table sitting next to his chair. His eyes travel from my eyes, to the table, then back to my eyes. He nods his head and grabs his cup. I nearly sigh in relief when he doesn’t bite my head off with his nasty words.
“Thanks,” he eventually says after his first sip has been swallowed.
“You’re welcome,” I respond with a wobbly, unsure smile on my face. My eyes begin to water but I hold them at bay. I won’t make him feel guilty or have him feel like he needs to run away from me before we get a chance to talk. “Do you need a napkin or anything?”
“Nope. I’m all good.” He doesn’t look at me as he speaks to me, but at least he’s not ignoring me. It’s progress from how it’s been lately.
“I know things have been tense between us, but I’d really like to work on fixing it,” I blurt out, hoping that his top won’t pop.
He nods his head before saying, “I’ve been thinkin’ about that all mornin’. You’re right, we need to figure it out. We need some time away from all of the prying eyes and obstruction from our family. Our relationship is just that, Kassi… ours. I’m tired of your brother and sister always interferin’; we’ll never conquer this if they keep it up.”
Hope blossoms in my chest at his words. “What are you thinking?” I ask, ready to run away this very second if that’s what he requests of me.
“Let’s take a road trip, get the fuck out of here, there’s too many people surroundin’ us. We need to be able to talk uninterrupted in a neutral settin’, spend some time together—alone. Reconnect, you know?” He looks up at me with hope swimming in his eyes.
“I know. When do you want to leave?” I question him, ready to jump when he says the word.
“Now, tonight, in the mornin’. Whenever you’re ready.” I close my eyes and thank whoever it is above for answering my prayers.
“Can you give me an hour? I need to let everyone know we’re leaving and make sure Kaci can come and water the plants and bring in our mail while we’re away. Any clue as to how long we’ll be gone for?”
“As long as it takes, baby. I don’t care if it’s a day, week or month. We’ll take however long we need to get back to us.” I brightly smile at him and skip over to him, kiss him on his cheek and head to my room to pack and call Kaci.
Things might just work out after all.
4
Malibu
I recoiled when Kassi’s lips touched my skin. I was repulsed, but grateful she didn’t witness or notice it. If she did, she just ignored it. That’s when the phone call I’d made earlier, while she was away, seems justified. My gut is screaming no, but my head is hollering yes. I need to figure out which side of the coin I should believe in. Heads or tails, whichever, I just need to make a final decision
and stick with it.
When I called Kid earlier to let him know that we were hitting the road for a non-disclosed amount of time, he was ecstatic, thinking this little road trip would help ‘cure’ the things wrong in mine and Kassi’s relationship. If he ever finds out what my true intentions are, he’ll string me up by my balls and let my body rot for the vultures to find. This trip is going to go one of two ways; I’ll either find out what I need to and have evidence to take to the club of her betrayals, or I’ll have just signed my death warrant. Either way, I’m gonna have the answers I seek by the time we make it back. Death may be worth it if I finally find out the truth.
As we pulled out of the driveway on my bike, she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head between my shoulder blades. For a minute, I forgot that I was pissed at her, it made me want to place my hand on her knee and squeeze it the way I usually do… then reality reared its ugly head and I remembered the mission I’m on and kept my hands firmly planted on my handlebars. I promised Fern I’d always love and protect Kassi, and I do even though she’s hiding things from me, but Fern deserves justice for her death—I plan on being her avenging angel.
“How much longer?” Kassi asks me through our Bluetooth helmets. I used to love and enjoy that I had synced headsets, but now, I wish I’d grabbed the other ones. It’s habit I suppose, but I need to have my head cleared out by the time we arrive at our destination, and hearing her voice isn’t helping me accomplish that.
“Two hours. You need somethin’?” I ask.
“Bathroom, but I can wait until you need to stop for fuel,” she answers.
“We have two more miles until we hit the next truck stop. I’ll pull over for you and go ahead and top off,” I respond.
“Thank you, Malibu.”
“You got it,” I reply through gritted teeth. I need to settle myself down, or I’ll end up giving myself and my plans away before I’m ready for it all to be revealed. I can’t let her bolt, and unfortunately I can’t hog tie her to the bike with so many witnesses around.
* * *
As soon as Kassi comes out of the restroom, she begins the whole annoying twenty-question thing, making me wanna gag her ass. “Where exactly are we headed to, Malibu?”
“I found us a secluded cabin where we’ll have a chance to reconnect. No interruptions, just us walkin’ through the woods and talkin’. There’s no internet and there most likely won’t be any cell phone reception. If you need to make a call, make sure you do it now,” I inform her.
She raises her eyebrows up at me in question. “Why so secluded, Malibu? How will we know if there’s an emergency we need to be home for? Something could happen to our family and we’d never know.”
“Nothin’s gonna happen, Kassi. I’ve cleared it with Kid and he knows that we’ll be where reception is spotty at best. I told him I’d head up town to call him and check in every couple of days. I promise you, if anything happens, we’ll know soon and head back home.”
“Okay, Malibu. I trust you,” she says as we mount the bike. If I didn’t have a wall up shielding my heart, I’d feel like a real asshole as she says these words. As it stands, I don’t feel any damn thing. My body, mind and soul are numb. I get up in the mornings, bathe, shit, eat and sleep, then get up and do the same exact thing the next day. I’m not living anymore, I’m a zombie treading my way through life.
Exactly two hours later, I turn down the dirt road that will lead us to our hideaway. It’s a long driveway that is five miles deep. No way for her to manage to get to the road without me noticing she’s gone. I have no plans on harming her physically, but I’ve hired someone to help me get her to talk. He has a good reputation of pulling information out of someone who’s determined to hold onto their secrets. If she really does have memory loss as claimed, he has experience in bringing out the things a person’s mind has locked away.
The man I’ve hired’s name is Creed Johannsen. He is the military’s go to person when they need someone to open up and talk. He’s been trained in mind fucks, he’s hirable to the outside world… this man feels nothing. He is cold as ice, calculating and lacks any sort of socialization skills. He was referred to me by one of my old friends who happened to serve with him. I didn’t tell Henry, my childhood friend and confidant, who I’d be using the services for, just that I needed someone with his abilities. He assumed it’s for the club, otherwise he wouldn’t have helped me. I didn’t correct his thinking, because he’s met Kassi a few times, and he adores her… he’d rat me out for sure if he knew she was the source of the upcoming interrogation.
My conversation with Creed was short, sweet and to the point. I made sure he understood without a shadow of a doubt that she is not to be physically hurt or harmed under any circumstances. He guaranteed me that his method with women was different than that with men, and she’d have no damage done to her. She’ll come out of this a little worn out mentally and emotionally, but he swore there’d be no long-term effects.
“Wow! This place is stunning,” Kassi says through her mic. “The way the sun is setting through the top of the trees is like something you see on pictures or in the movies. I can’t wait to watch the sun rise in the mornings. Thank you for being thoughtful of where you brought me. I can tell you put a lot of thought and consideration into what would be a romantic getaway.”
“Yah, babe. I wanted this place to be perfect for us.” The lie rolls off of my tongue, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I begin to waver on my plans, again, but know there’s no other way around it.
Kassi
As we grab our things out of Malibu’s saddlebags, I can’t help but notice how standoffish he’s acting. I can tell he’s trying hard to be interactive with me, but the distance between us is heartbreaking. This time away is going to be a lot of work for the two of us, but I’m confident that we’ll leave here stronger than we were before. I’m determined to show him that I’m what he needs and we can be whole with just the two of us in this relationship.
I follow him up the slippery rock-paved path to the mountain retreat style cottage-cabin. It’s a two-story log ‘cabin’ with a porch that has wicker chairs, a couch and a coffee table. I envision myself sitting out here with a cup of coffee in the morning enjoying Mother Nature at her finest. I love animals, and thinking about watching squirrels harvest nuts and deer trolleying in the wild has me excited.
I watch Malibu key in a code and watch as a key falls out of a black box that was hanging from the doorknob. It’s one of those real estate ones that are used for people to be able to go in and check out a house to see if it’s their forever home. If I had to pick one, it would be something like what we’re fixing to walk into. It’s a dream place for an artist to lose themselves in their work. I’m happy that I downloaded my manuscript onto my laptop from online so I can work without the use of the internet while being surrounded in this peaceful environment. We walk in and the wooden floors catch my attention… they’re so beautiful and natural looking. I need to take a picture before leaving, I’d love to have these running throughout our home. Looking up, I notice there’s a stairway that leads to a loft, it’s got a huge bed peeking through the railing. I hope it’s as comfy and cozy up there as it looks from down here. I also notice a long hallway that leads to the back. I’m imagining there are several bedrooms there as well. I doubt we’ll be staying in the loft; it doesn't look secure enough from impending danger to make Malibu happy.
“It’s bigger than it was in the pictures,” he says as he sets our bags down. “It don’t look like no damn cottage; it looks like a mountain home I’ve seen in a home and garden magazine. Wanna check things out?” I smirk at his comment, I have a hard time picturing him reading those sorts of things.
Yet, he knows me so well. I’m itching to search each and every nook and cranny in this place. “Yes!” I excitedly squeal. “This place is a dream come true.” I see a little smirk form on his face, but it’s more than he’s given me, I’ll take it. Baby steps, I remind myself.
>
I was right, there were rooms down the hallway and a master bedroom with a huge bathroom attached. It’s got a jacuzzi bathtub that I can’t wait to sink down into. The loft must be used for kids or visitors. I’ll have to explore it on my own at a later time.
* * *
Later that evening, I’m rummaging through the fridge and cabinets and am happy to see someone has fully stocked it full of food for us. It has some of our favorites here, not just meal wise, but snack wise. Our favorite sodas and liquor are stocked in here. Figuring a good place to start rebuilding our relationship is putting food in his tummy, I start thinking about what I can cook. If what they say is true about a man’s happiness being his stomach, I’m off to a good start.
I notice two good looking, thick steaks in the freezer and pull them out. I start making my own marinade and am happy when I find a meat injector. Since I wasn’t able to let them soak for twenty-four hours as I normally would, thankfully this will help with the flavor and tenderization. I thaw the steaks out in cold water and go to find my phone where I have some music downloaded. Grabbing my headphones, I place them in my ears and put on my favorite playlist. Walking back over to the sink, I look out the back window and a smile lights my face when I see a shirtless Malibu chopping wood. He’s sexy and would make a good-looking cover model for my book when I am ready to release it. I then begin to ponder if I should change my hero’s occupation to that of a lumberjack. Shaking my head, I go over to the pantry and grab some sweet potatoes. I know my man loves fries made from these so I begin slicing them up into strings. I lose myself in cooking while dancing around the kitchen and jamming to my favorite tunes.
Forever Yours: Rage Ryders Templeton Chapter Book 2 Page 3