Paladin's Oath

by M. H. Johnson

  Jess laughed low and dark. "Oh, no need to say a word further Kipu. I…remember what happened now. So sweet and drenched in blood, I can taste it! You stomping up those stairs. One foot after another, your thighs aching with the fierce bruises of your father's waster, the cold disapproval of your every attempt to gain mastery of the arming sword burning as fiercely as your thighs. You hated everything at that moment, didn't you, Kipu? Your life. Your father. Your mother. You had even considered ending it at that moment. Didn't you, Kipu?" Jess shook her head, showing for the first and only time to him, a glimmer of pity. "How tragic that you didn't"

  “Jessica de Calenbry, stop it! Stop it right now!” Apple screamed.

  Undeterred, Jess pushed on. Plowing through darkest memory, forgotten dreams. As undeniable as gravity, plummeting downward to blackest truths.

  "How tragic you didn't, Kipu. For it was in that moment that you heard Rosalind trouncing up the stairs behind you. Excited, so excited to catch your gaze. Did she tell you to wait up? Did she tell you she had something for you? You don't recall. You didn't care, then. All you felt was yourself choking under the weight of your own misery, your heart bursting with a screaming ache, a dark need. And in a single unholy epiphany, you found release. You found relief."

  In that moment all was deathly still, every soul present locked upon Jess's words.

  "Just as if you were in the training yard, you pivoted around, center of balance low, perfectly poised, body snapping forward in a controlled heave, you slammed your arms into Rosalind. Instantly knocking the breath out of her. So much lighter she was than your father or the armsman you trained with, it was almost effortless forcing her off that staircase, her body arcing up and outward, arms windmilling, and you gazed into her eyes then, her happy innocence turning to one of wide-eyed terror. Of utter disbelief. And you had so expertly knocked the air from her lungs she didn't even have breath to scream, did she Kipu? Before she smashed into the bottom steps, her neck broken instantly."

  Jess paused, measuring the heaving gasps of the young man gazing at her in such horror. “But that wasn’t all, was it, Kipu? You took the time to slowly, carefully, go down the stairs. Feeling strangely… exhilarated. Horrified at what you had done, but exhilarated as all the bitterness and misery you felt coursing through you disappeared in that single moment. Do you remember, Kipu? Do you remember how you felt? You gazed into her face then, didn’t you? She was still blinking, wasn’t she? Still desperately holding onto a flicker of life. Eyes open wide in utter panic. Unable to understand what had happened, why she was unable to move or even breath. Why she was dying. At last you were able to pity her, so much more broken and pathetic than your own twisted soul. And in that moment you were able to forgive her, and you wondered what it would have been like to love her. You gently kissed her, didn’t you, Kipu? And that’s when you noticed the note. The note in her hands. The picture of the heart, of two hands holding. A girl’s first love letter.”

  Kipu's face had taken on a ghastly pallor, his gaze one of absolute horror, staring at Jess as if she were a specter of his own death, waiting to claim his soul.

  “How did you feel then, Kipu? Her letter clenched in your shaking fist, you hiding it in your clothes, pretending nothing was wrong as the cook’s maid who had taken such joy in tutoring you and her daughter stumbled upon her child’s body and screamed, screamed such a low, terrible cry of pain that you couldn’t help but smile, every trace of sorrow you had ever felt instantly burned away in a sudden wave of… pity. Pity and forgiveness you felt, for both the poor woman and the child you had killed!”

  Jess’s voice became filled with loathing and disgust. “And you thought yourself so noble, asking your father to give the poor broken woman an allowance so she could survive, too devastated even to eat, let alone work. You had all but forgotten that you had been the cause of the horror. But every night you relived seeing the girls look of hopeful affection turning to one of wide-eyed terror as all her power was instantly torn from her, and you took such unholy relief from it! You felt so wickedly proud of your own actions when you even cared to taste the foulness of it at all! You thought yourself so above everything then, didn't you, Kipu? Able to pity creatures lower and more broken than yourself, never mind that you were the cause of their horror and misery."

  Jess shook her head mockingly. “And that’s when it happened, isn’t it, Kipu? Your mother found the letter. The crumpled up letter of the girl’s affection. And…she knew. Somehow, she just knew. She gazed at you, the letter in her hand. Wanting you, needing you to say something. Anything. But you were rendered speechless. And the look of cold loathing that came over her was more than you could bear, wasn’t it, Kipu? You struck out at her, then. And she didn’t resist. Just gazed at you with her cold, unforgiving eyes. Your own mother. And you hit her, screaming, crying hot tears of shame you should have cried months before! And she did nothing to resist you, though her tooth was cracked. You still bear the scar of that on your knuckle, don’t you, Kipu?”

  Stunned, gazing at her in raw horror, he couldn’t help but flinch, one hand curling protectively under the other. Apple, however, saw nothing, just gazing at her sister in utter disbelief. “By all that is holy, Jess! By all that is holy, you are so, utterly, crazy!” Apple stumbled to the ground, a low moan escaping her lips as she curled in a pitiable ball and gave vent to agonized sobs of disbelief. But Jess would not be deterred.

  “You stopped then, screaming at your mother to yell, to fight back, to do something, anything! You screamed that she never loved you, that you wished you had never been born. You slammed the door then. Your last memory of your mother was her cold gaze. Worse than disappointment, far worse. One of utter apathy. Of a woman finally and completely destroyed in every conceivable way. You, and the entire world, were dead to her.”

  Jess nodded coldly. “Her body was found the next morning. Her dress weighed down with stones. She had drowned herself in that renovated logging cabin you and she had called home for so many bitter years.”

  Kipu's features had taken on a ghastly pallor, visible even in the dying light. He gazed at Jess in horrified fury. “You can’t say this. No. This? This can’t be real. There is no way… just…no. No!” His expression of horror and alarm focused on the guardsmen close at hand. “Men, to me!”

  “Yes, my lord,” the two guards said in unison, firmly planting themselves but feet away from Kipu, bucklers and blades at the ready. And Jess heard rustling in the woods nearby.

  Her grin was as bright and sharp as a timber wolf’s. The time for final truths was at hand.

  "But that's just the beginning, isn't it, Kipu? The self-loathing, the darkness, the cold emptiness of your soul utterly consumed you then. You needed it, didn't you? You needed another girl to fill the place of poor Rosalind, as memory of her innocent face filling over with horror and death began to fade. Your warm pity for everyone began to turn to hot bitter hate once more. Blackest fury consumed you. You needed it. You needed to see another girl scream and die, helpless before you, to quench your hate, didn't you? Who was it then? Another serving girl? Someone you went out of your way to charm. Someone who was enamored of your dark brooding demeanor, impressed by your desperate attempts to memorize poetry.”

  Jess grimaced. "The details blur. There were many, weren't there Kipu? Many. So many faces, so many approaches you took. So many variances, save one. That special place. Where you brought them to consummate your affections, where you could embrace them, and savor their wide-eyed wonder as it turned within moments to disbelief and horror. Where you could rupture their trust as your ruptured their bodies and savor their despair. And in your own twisted way, you loved them. Didn't you, Kipu? But only after you took everything they had. Their hopes, their dreams, their innocence, their very lives. You tore it all away, giving them your hot furious pain instead. Then and only then could you pity them. And since you never knew love, all you understand is pity."

  Jess’s laugh became bitter and cold
. Cold as wind shrieking across the Void. “Until the black loathing and rage consumes you once again, and you hate them all. All those sweet innocent smiles of children who had been loved by their parents, those innocent girls who dare to have hope and joy, where you have none! And you would break them, each and every one. Isn’t that right, Kipu?”

  Appolonia was screaming even as she covered her ears and curled into a ball. Jess could only imagine how much her sister hated her right now. Kipu, though. His look was one of utter fury. And fear.

  “Guardsmen, to me! Protect me now!” It was then that two other men broke free from the tree line, two further guards, acting as scouts, Jess suspected, that finally made their presence known. Twilight had been right, her familiar even now stalking behind them, his own eyes bright and feral. Ready to hunt. Ready to kill. Much like his mistress.

  Jess grinned savagely. “Ah, so it is time as last for the serpent to remove his mask and finally reveal himself!”

  “You are insane!” Kipu snarled, his carefully controlled melancholy twisting into a mask of utter loathing. “A mad creature, raving! Men, she is armed. Protect me from her!”

  Jess’s laugh was manic, darkly gleeful. Her fury edged towards its peak. She exulted in soon being able to release it.

  As one, the guardsmen grimly unsheathed their blades.

  Unperturbed, Jess continued, utterly cognizant of the threat approaching, yet at the same time, lost in the stream of terrible awareness she had tapped into. “You used the old converted log mill as your den. Didn’t you, Kipu? Your father loathed it, so much guilt and shame it had for him. And he could hardly object to you staying in the home you had lived in for the first decade of your life. Right next to the sight of your mother’s drowning. Where no one would dare to go, and indeed, everyone preferred to forget. A place of such bittersweet memories for you, Kipu, and the perfect spot to hide the bodies.”

  Jess’s grin was savage. “But in the end, snuffing the terrified serving girls wasn’t enough, was it? And were there perhaps rumors? Never spoken allowed, but at the same time, it was understood that your family’s House was… haunted. Young women would disappear at least once every turn of the seasons. You had to go farther afield for your prey, didn’t you? Slatterns were easy prey. None would begrudge a young lord his passions, but such creatures are already broken and jaded by life’s pain. Killing them was never as satisfying, was it, Kipu? You found yourself strangely more sympathetic to them than any of the sweet blushing roses of innocence you had to crush with your bitter hatred. Wasn’t that so?”

  Jess laughed at that. "Frequently you even used them for their intended purpose. Needed more than one trip to the healers for what they carried, besides the seed of your lust, eh, Kipu? Oh, you don't have to say anything. That alone, not tied to wickedness, was but a simple guess, but your expression is all the confirmation I need. But wait, there is a darker scent there." Jess's voice turned cold as hoarfrost then. "You decided you needed to crush the sweetest of life's creatures to quench the winter bitterness that plagued you every year, didn't you, Kipu? It was then you decided to prey upon what had heretofore been forbidden game, even to your mind."

  Kipu hissed, clenching his own blade fiercely and Jess flashed a catlike grin, even as two of Kipu's personal guards entered her outer perimeter, two steps before the range of a melee strike. Yet Jess would not be deterred.

  “You decided to hunt noble prey, Kipu. And you have struck already, once before! What was her name? Think it, Kipu, I can feel the Malice, the hatred roiling within you… come… dark hair, hazel brown eyes…she wore a locket with a little golden heart… come, Kipu, what was her name?”

  “Guards, protect me! This creature is mad!” Kipu’s voice was raw with panic as the two foremost guards approached Jess, blades unsheathed, readying themselves to run her through.

  “One step closer, and I end you.” Jess’s voice was as cold as ice, her dirk readied in an instant. She felt time seem to flow ever so oddly as her battle senses took hold, voices changing in pitch, her enemy's movements turning strange. Jess flashed a mad grin, feeling the berserker’s madness but a hairsbreadth from springing forth.

  "My lord, the way is clear," Jess heard one of the young lord's scouts declare softly, causing Kipu to give a firm nod, flashing a bleak smile of his own. "Very well. Do what you know needs to be done. I make my exit now." He turned to a still sobbing Apple, gently stroking her hair. "My dear Apple. Dear, sweet Appolonia. I am so sorry fate decrees we don't have the chance to share our love for one another, but you see now how precarious my life is. I must leave now, lest I perish at your mad sister's hands." With that he gave a cold nod to his two scouts who proceeded towards Jess, blades raised, even as the personal guard nearest to her jabbed his blade towards Jess's chest.

  And Jess adroitly pivoted, her whole center mass shifting in an instant even as her left hand simultaneously reached out to expertly snap closed about the end of the steel blade but inches from her chest, pulling the sword toward her with an abrupt wrench, even as she spun a quarter turn, yanking her foe off balance as he desperately tried to hold onto his blade, her right shoulder now well within his guard even as her right fist slammed the hilt of her dirk into his right wrist, her furious strength shattering his arm like glass.

  Her foe was unable even to utter a scream before Jess followed through, fully claiming the initiative, slamming her shoulder into the stumbling guardsman with a sudden burst of power, even as her right hand instantly dropped her dagger to claim the hilt of the arming sword falling so slowly through the air, her foe's buckler useless as he stumbled to the ground, screaming and clenching his wrist as Jess expertly ran him through, slicing his jugular open, fazed not at all by the crimson spray of arterial blood. She kept her balance low, ready to dart forwards or back, her left hand ready to snag and yank free any blade that got past her own, or grapple and strike as the situation demanded.

  As one the two guardsmen who had served as scouts approached her, bucklers before them, blades raised high, like her own. Their eyes were professional and cold, unlike the trembling novice even then trailing behind them. Every step the two scouts took was careful. Measured. They hardly seemed fazed by Jess’s almost casual killing of their fellow. Wearing well cared for leathers, no doubt dead-tanned and visibly reinforced with metal rings, Jess instantly sensed their battle-hardened competence, the unthinking expertise that had ingrained years of dedicated practice to muscle memory long ago. And Jess sensed a far darker truth as well.

  “You knew!” Jess whispered in horror even as the deeper part of her mind laughed at the sweet, circular irony of it all, to see the depravity of these men before her, the corrupt rotten core that was their inescapable nature. “You bastards knew from the start! And you did nothing to stop it! You… reveled in it! Did he share those girls with you, you monsters? By the gods above, he did!” Her furious snarl was lost in their battle cry as the two scouts charged forward as one, seeking to pin her in a half circle and strike out in unison.

  Heart pounding with the blackest of furies did nothing to deter Jess’s sense of tactics or intuition, having sprinted to her right a split second before they could circle, deftly parrying the closer guardsman’s cleaving blow, snapping out her own blade in a tight arc, catching his right bicep with a wicked slash, slicing cleanly through toughened leather, causing him to hiss and back away.

  Instantly Jess seized the Vor, slamming her blade forward in a furious lunge, feinting past his buckler. She felt her blade tear through his leather jerkin effortlessly, splitting iron links with the force of her blow. The stunned man gasped in unutterable agony as Jess tore her bloody blade free, even as she continued to pivot around the dying armsman in that split second to buy herself a moment's time as the second scout attempted to close.

  The veteran before her spared one horrified glance at his companion's wide-eyed gasps, pink blood spewing from the sucking wound Jess had created when her blade savagely tore into his lung, before screa
ming incoherent curses, hammering at Jess with a fury of blows rained down from every conceivable angle.

  Yet to Jess his blows, spurred onward by terrible fury as they were, seemed almost to drag in the air, so warped her perception of time had become. With grim focus she parried the rain of furious strikes, his blade sliding from her own, every time the slightest bit more off balance even as Jess backed him away from his one remaining companion, until Jess judged the moment right. Her fluid Absetzen counter deflected the scout’s final mad swing with a hanging parry near the hilt, even as her left hand snaked out to yank her foe's buckler offline an instant before her sword snaked under his own, tearing through his reinforced armor in a hideous display of strength, blade plunging through the sternum with an audible crack, running the man completely through.

  In a final instant of inconceivable horror and pain, her foe cried his death knell, his body collapsing, the entirety of his weight bearing down Jess's arm, her blade firmly lodging in her foe's breastbone. Jess's mad grin grew sharper as a truth sweeter than wine washed over her. The sweet sense of her own furious strength. For she had struck down her foe with the force of a knight lancing an enemy at full gallop.

  It would normally take considerable leverage and effort to yank free a blade wedged so deeply in bone, Jess knew, yet with a single vicious snap Jess yanked out her sword, blinking in but a split second's surprise as she held but a hilt and the first few inches of steel. And in that instant Jess curled up and rolled back, even as the final guardsman's blade arced downward where her head had been but a moment before, screaming in panicked fury.

  “Jess! Ware your back!” Her familiar simultaneously cried as she rolled away from her foe’s mad swing, snapping to her feet a moment later, the young man screaming incoherently and charging her a second time.