Jared scoffed. “That I don’t believe.”
She smiled at his faith, but it was unfounded. “I could be in the middle of cleaning, hear my mom say it’s great to see me cleaning, and then trash the whole room just to be a rebel.” She laughed, but even she could hear the sadness in it. No doubt Jared could, too.
“And what’s wrong with that?” Jared hit his blinker and moved into the left lane, speeding past the van that had been slowing them down. “Rebellious Vanessa sounds fun.”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, crossing her legs and straightening her back. “When I was fifteen, I snuck out. I went to a friend’s house, but she wanted to check out this party. I went with her.”
Jared silently drove, so she kept going. “They were all drinking and smoking… which was way past my level of rebellion. I wanted to leave, but my friend begged me to stay. I wish I said no.”
He glanced at her before putting his eyes back on the road. “Did you drink too much? Get sick?”
“I wish that’s all that happened.”
Jared reached across the center console and took her hand, lacing his fingers in hers. His thumb rubbed circles into her palm. “What then?”
“A girl from our school was there, and she took pills. She passed out and everyone just ignored her, but foam started coming out of her mouth.” She remembered the feelings of panic, of dread. She remembered having no idea what to do. “I turned her on her side and called nine-one-one.”
“She didn’t make it?” His voice was soft, low.
“She did. They were able to give her something that brought her back, but the police called all our parents to come get us. My dad had to come out in the pouring rain to pick me up while he thought I’d been asleep in my bed.”
“Baby, that’s not the end of the world. Do you know how many times my parents did that for me? And I wasn’t the hero like you. I was the drunk.” Jared chuckled.
Vanessa had to finish the story. He needed to understand her. “While he was lecturing me, he didn’t see that the light had turned yellow. We were too far to make it, but with the downpour, we couldn’t stop. He didn’t see any cars, but… a truck hit the driver’s side door. At full speed.”
The silence in the car hung heavy, bringing her right back to that spot on the highway. Blood. Aches. And silence. Only the pitter-patter of rain against concrete.
“He almost died, because of me. He spent two years learning to walk again, because of me. They lost their retirement money and savings and everything… because of me.” She took in a shaky breath, slowly releasing it. “So yeah, I don’t screw around anymore.”
Jared jumped across two lanes and pulled over onto the shoulder. He parked the car, turned to her. “Vanessa, the accident wasn’t your fault. It was the weather. Shit luck. Not you.”
She shook her head. “If I just did what I was told and stayed in for the night, he would’ve never been out there.”
His hand reached for her cheek, forcing her to look at him. His features looked blurry as tears filled her eyes. “Baby, you can’t carry around that guilt for your whole life. It’s not your fault.”
She bit her lip and stared up at the roof of the car, desperately trying to keep the tears from flowing.
He inched closer to her and the first two spilled over.
“Vanessa.” She met his gaze. More tears fell. “You can’t control everything around you and you can’t blame yourself when things go wrong.”
She stifled a sob. “You do.” His brows furrowed. “You blame yourself for your friend’s death.”
His face hardened. “It’s diff-”
“It’s not different,” she snapped. “It’s the exact same thing. You cope by acting like an ass and refusing to take anything seriously.”
“And you cope by pretending you’re in control of the world when you’re barely in control of yourself. You put everyone’s happiness before yours and shove anyone away who doesn’t fit into your perfect little routine.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. Pulled away from him and turned to stare out the window.
Vanessa wiped the tears from her cheeks and she heard Jared shift in his seat beside her. “Maybe we’re both wrong.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “What?”
“Maybe we’re both wrong,” he repeated. “Maybe it wasn’t either of our faults. Maybe you trying to control everything is just as crazy as me acting out of control constantly.” His hand touched her shoulder blade. “Maybe my choosing chaos and your choosing order were just both of us choosing not to deal with the actual problems we had.”
She slowly turned to face him.
“We can’t fix each other, Jared.” Fairytale nonsense, not how the world worked.
“You’re right. We can’t.” His jaw flexed. “But it’s been a whole lot easier to work on myself since you’ve been around.”
She licked her lip. Almost smiled. “It kinda has been, huh?” She felt the same way.
He pulled her into his arms. “No more guilt, Vanessa. Not for either of us.”
She inhaled the cool scent of his cologne. “Okay,” she agreed. No more guilt. No more hurting.
“Instead, let’s do good things because we want to.” He pulled back, and the look on his face sparked warmth in her chest. He smirked. “And let’s have a little fun along the way.”
She laughed, finally feeling the heaviness in her heart lift. “Okay.” She touched the skin on his neck, traced along the hard stubble on his jaw. “Maybe a lot of fun,” she giggled.
Jared leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. “How about a whole lot?”
She kissed him back, smile plastered onto her face the whole time.
Chapter Eleven
Vanessa was mesmerized at the incredible event her students had put together. The walls were beautifully decorated with military decor, they’d been able to find a catering company who volunteered their services for the event, nearly two hundred people were already there and more shuffled through the door with each passing minute.
“Miss Adams!”
Vanessa spun to see Brooke running toward her in a flowing pink dress. She wrapped her arms around her, and Vanessa quickly hugged her back. “You look so pretty!”
Brooke glowed with the compliment. “I need to go check with the DJ and make sure he has the montage ready for dinner. I’ll be back!”
Vanessa chuckled as she skipped toward the back of the room. All of her students had grown eons in the short time they’d been working with The Walker Foundation. That’s why Vanessa pushed so hard for her service learning project— it worked.
She heard murmurs and the clicking away of cameras, and turned to see Jared walk through the door with his entourage. He wore a black and white tuxedo, looked drop-dead sexy. A GQ model, not a business owner.
She swallowed and looked down at herself. She wore a long, dark blue dress that cinched at her waist and fell loosely over her hips. There was a slit down the side to show her legs just enough to make the dress sexy.
But was it sexy enough?
Her hair was free flowing, lips painted red.
Her eyes lifted and met his. He was staring right at her, with a longing so obvious on his face that all her worries ran right out of her body.
She took in a slow breath as he started moving toward her. The majority of the cameras stayed put by the entrance— she had requested they not be allowed inside. She had her own photographers… her students.
They didn’t need any paparazzi in there.
Jared’s strong hand fell on her waist. Her eyes darted around the room, not wanting anyone to see them together.
“Stop what you’re doing.”
She froze, then stared up into his dark eyes. “I’m not doing-”
“You’re making sure nobody’s watching. Stop.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes and pushed his hand off her. “There might not be paparazzi in here, but there are plenty of cameras. And plenty of people.”
Jared half-smiled. “I’m not hiding anything.”
Her heartbeat quickened in her chest. She wanted to give in, but… she couldn’t escape the what-ifs in her mind.
“Have you seen Josh?” Jared asked.
She looked around the room, then shook her head as she brought her gaze back to him. “No, no I haven’t.” Though she was very grateful for the change of subject.
He moved behind her, dropping his hand to the small of her back. Before she could argue, she followed his gaze and was stunned into silence.
Josh Spaulding stood there, in a black fitted suit, with his hair trimmed and styled. He was clean-shaven, put together, and, the most important part, he was smiling.
“How?”
Jared laughed. “I asked him if he wanted a job. Told him I don’t hire hoodlums so he’d have to clean himself up.” Vanessa wanted to shame the language used, but… it worked. “I may have given him a sign-on bonus to fund that clean-up.”
Vanessa turned to Jared. Just looked at him for a moment. His hard jaw. His dark features. His kind eyes. “You are too good to be real.”
His eyes met hers and he laughed. “Only since you’ve been around.”
He moved to kiss her, but she quickly turned her head. Her heart was ready to burst from her chest. He was torturing her— didn’t he see that?
His hand tightened on her waist and pulled her closer. The brush of his lips against her ear sent chills down her spine. “You’re mine. I’m yours. Why hide that?”
Her breath hitched. Was that true? He said they were something, but what the heck did that mean? Were they really…
“We are so excited to have you all here tonight to support The Walker Foundation. If everyone could find their seats, we have a wonderful dinner for you, and a great presentation about the organization you’re all helping tonight. Thank you again, so much!” Brooke’s smiling face and announcement over the microphone caught everyone’s attention.
People started shuffling to their seats.
Vanessa pulled away, but Jared’s hand held her still.
“Jared, I have to get up there.”
“Not until you tell me we’re on the same page.”
What page? Well, if he wanted the world to know they were together… it was likely the same page she was on. She was very quickly falling for the jerk who presently refused to let go of her.
She inhaled a frustrated breath. “Not now.” He went to argue, but she cut him off to clarify her statement. “We’re on the same page. But we’re not doing it now.”
Just wait until the project is over. Wait until I’ve handed your organization the check and eyes are no longer on me.
His smile grew wider. He let go of her waist.
She scurried toward the front of the room.
✽ ✽ ✽
“You seriously have a room here?”
Jared chuckled at Vanessa’s words. He grabbed her waist as the elevator doors opened, pulling her inside. “Yes, I do.”
He spun her around and caged her against the wall with his body. He bent down to take her lips, as he’d desperately wanted to do all night.
This time, she didn’t fight him or turn away. No, she readily took what he offered, squeezing his shoulders and arching her back as they explored each other’s mouths.
“Careful, baby,” he breathed against her lips. “Keep that up and I’ll be taking you in this elevator.”
She giggled, reaching down and gripping his length through his pants. Every muscle in his body tensed with need. “Well, you did tell me I should break the rules more often.”
He groaned and took her mouth again, just in time for the doors to ding and slide open.
In one swift movement, he lifted her into his arms and carried her through the doors toward his room. It was the only room on the floor, but they’d added an extra threshold to ensure security. Jared quickly typed in the door code and kicked it open while Vanessa teased him with her mouth on his neck.
She turned to look around the room, and her eyes widened.
It was the highest room in the building, and you could see nearly the whole city through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Built into the hotel, it was more like an apartment. And the only people who stayed here were Jared’s friends or associates.
Tonight would be his first night staying here. But he’d known he wouldn’t have lasted the ride to either of their homes. He needed her. Spent the whole night staring at her in that form-fitting dress, with her hair wild and free and her lips just begging for him to claim them.
He wanted to claim her. Claim all of her.
“You are all mine, Vanessa.” He carried her to the bedroom. Over to the king bed in the center of the room. Dropped her down on the comforter. “Say it.” He needed to hear it. Needed to know he wasn’t diving in all on his own.
“I’m yours.” She smiled wide, scooted back on the bed, bending her knees and biting her lip. “If-” she started, “you’re mine.”
Jared grinned. Shoved the dress up over her thighs so he could press a kiss to her knee. “I’m yours.” He had been for quite some time, without even realizing. His body was hers. His heart was hers. His soul was hers. “All yours,” he muttered as he kissed her thigh.
She fell back onto the bed, and he moved over her, kissing her slowly, deeply, passionately. He tasted her mouth, explored her. Focused only on their kiss, not on what came next.
She needed to feel the fire he felt.
Her hands wrapped around his body, went up and down his back as she slowly untucked his shirt. Her warm hands on his back were like the kiss of a flame. He needed more. Needed everything.
“Dance with me,” he blurted out.
She stared at him, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. “What?”
He smiled. “You heard me.”
Standing up from the bed, he extended his hand. She stared at him for a moment, then took it. Jared pulled her up, held her body to his. Began to sway with her.
She giggled. “No music?”
“Nope.” That would take too much time. He wanted to spend every second on her.
“Why are we dancing?”
“Because I’ve wanted to do this all night.” Wanted to take her, hold her close, let everyone see that she belonged to him. “And you wouldn’t let me.”
Her eyes met his from underneath her lashes. He loved how she looked up at him. Loved how small she felt in his arms. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you? About us?”
“Extremely.” He pulled back and spun her around, then brought her back to him, her hand falling on his chest.
“And you’re not going to change your mind?” He hated the sadness in her voice, hated every person who ever made her think that.
“Never.” It may have been soon, may have been an ambitious promise, but he knew it with certainty. He’d never change his mind about the woman he held in his arms. Never get bored or want anyone else. Only her.
“I remember our first real meeting. At the coffee shop. You told me I didn’t know what I wanted.” She smiled and then hid her face from him. Before he could pull it back, she looked at him again. “I know what I want now.”
They continued to sway together to a song only they could hear. “And what is that?”
“You. This. Us.” She bit her lip, stared up at him. “Right now, I want you to kiss me.”
He bent toward her. “Done.” He took her mouth. Kissed her slowly, deeply. Continued swaying their hips. His cock ached to be inside of her, but he ignored its pleas. Took it slow. For her, he’d exercise control. Only for her.
“I want you to take my dress off.”
His muscles tightened. “Done.” He bit her lower lip. Kissed it. Yanked her dress over her head and tossed it aside before returning to her lips.
His hands touched bare skin. Need ran deep through his bones.
A desire he couldn’t control if he tried.
She unbuttoned his shirt. Slowly, painfully. So damn slowly that he was r
eady to explode before she’d reached the last button.
She shoved his shirt off his shoulders, and he dropped it to the ground.
“I want you to make love to me.”
He broke away from her. She stood there, clad only in panties and a bra, both of which matched her dress. “You really like that color, huh?” He certainly did. It had recently become his new favorite.
Her smile widened. “Navy blue. For my Navy SEAL.”
Warmth spread throughout his chest. A wholesome feeling of joy he hadn’t felt since childhood. He grabbed her, pulled her closer, kissed her harder. “I am completely, undeniably in love with you.”
Her breath hitched. He took her mouth.
Gentleness was over. This time, he devoured her. Their bodies knotted together as they desperately pulled off the clothes that remained on their bodies. They fell onto the bed. Her knees bent as she wiggled her hips until she found his cock, eager and waiting.
He pressed into her. She was dripping, ready for him.
He couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t going to be slow and gentle like he’d planned in his head.
There’d be time for that later.
This was rough, desperate need.
He thrust inside. They both gasped at the sudden movement. Her sex gripped him, hot and tight and so fucking perfect. Skin to skin, nothing between them.
“You feel so good,” she moaned.
He was ready to burst. He knew he should go slow, be loving. But fuck, he needed her. “What do you want?” He’d give it to her. Anything she wanted. If she said slow and steady he’d tame his fucking beasts right here.
Somehow.
Her lower lip fell. She flicked her tongue over it. “I want you.” Her hips slowly began to move beneath him. “And I don’t want you to stop.”
That was all he needed to hear.
Jared pulled out, thrust back into her, began moving his hips faster and faster as control flew out the window and passion took over. He knew she felt the same way, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust.
They both inched closer. Their movements became more frantic. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades and the bite of pain only drove him closer to the edge.
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