She screamed his name as her sex tightened around him. He should stop, should pull out, should something, but…
Her legs locked around his hips. Their bodies kept rocking together. Her orgasm gripped his cock and sent him spiraling over the edge as pleasure erupted in his body.
Each wave of orgasm only brought more pleasure as he felt himself empty into her.
He should feel something like worry. Should feel some sort of regret.
He didn’t. He wanted her. Wanted everything with her. He’d never regret anything when it came to Vanessa.
He wanted forever. The farmhouse, the dogs, the children, everything.
Her.
His cock throbbed inside of her as he pulled out and thrust back in. Her mouth fell open.
“Baby, we’re just getting started.”
Because when it came to Vanessa, he was insatiable. Nothing in the world could curb his appetite for her. Each taste just left him wanting more.
She smiled. Met his thrusts. Took his mouth.
Oh, yeah. This was just the beginning.
✽ ✽ ✽
Vanessa did her best to flatten her hair with her hands and some water, but it was no use. Her curls were wild and made her look like she’d been doing, well, exactly what she’d been doing all night.
Her makeup was smudged, her hair a mess, and she wore a wrinkly version of her dress from the night before. Talk about the walk of shame.
Something uneasy settled in her stomach.
“I can call someone to bring you clothes, it’s really not a big deal.”
She laughed and shook her head. “It’s fine. Thank you.” Her car was parked in the lot, and it was a short drive home. She only had to make it through the lobby and walk the twenty or so feet to her car. Then she’d be safe.
“Let me call my driver for you.”
She rubbed the last bit of makeup from her face before dropping the washcloth and walking over to him. “It’s not necessary, Jared.”
“I know it’s not.” He stepped closer to her, placed a hand on her cheek. “But I want to.”
She shook her head and bit her lip to keep from smiling. “I can’t leave my car.” The yearning to get home grew stronger, impending doom pounding away in her chest. Was the room smaller than it had been the night before?
His face softened. “You’re right. Plus, it’d be fairly suspicious if anyone happened to spot my car with a disheveled you in it.”
Her heart began to thud in her chest. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s like you said last night. We shouldn’t be broadcasting this. Especially not now, with the fundraiser and everything being last night.”
The tightness in her chest began to spread to her throat. Yes, she had said that, but she didn’t say she wanted to keep it under wraps forever… just at her students’ fundraiser. Now that the big event was over, well, what was the problem?
It was too soon, and she already knew what the rumor-mill would be saying about her. Gold digger. Sleeping her way to the top. Worse…
And then it suddenly made sense.
“I’m a role model. I have a hundred and thirty students who look up to me.”
Jared raised an eyebrow, amused confusion playing across his features. “Okay… and? Not sure where you’re going with this, baby.”
She pulled away from him and his hand fell from her face. Her shoulders stiffened. “So I’m bad PR for you? Is that what you’re saying?” Her heart was beating way too fast. The stupid dress she wore felt so tight. She could barely breathe in the damn thing.
The amusement left his features as he took a step toward her. “What? No. Where did you get that from?”
She turned to walk out the door, but he grabbed her and spun her back toward him. Her left hand began to shake, so she tightened it into a fist. She stared up at his eyes.
Last night, he’d said that he loved her. Today, he was trying to hide her.
She was glad she didn’t say it back, didn’t make a fool out of herself.
Even if she did feel it…
And to think she thought they had actually been on the same page. Nausea rolled through her.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on here?”
She bit her lip. Shook her head. “You’re right. We shouldn’t tell anyone about this.” Her voice was so shaky.
If they did tell anyone, it just meant her name would be dragged through the mud when their little fling finally came to an end. When he grew bored, found someone new, left her, like he inevitably would, it would be broadcasted to the world.
Wouldn’t she rather suffer in solitude?
Yes. A thousand times yes.
“I don’t want my project having any sort of negativity attached to it in the media.” She bit her lip. “You’ve done so well at cleaning up your image and being a good role model for these kids. Thank you for that.”
His jaw tightened. “Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” He narrowed his eyes at her.
She walked toward the windows and took a second to stare out over the city. It wasn’t as pretty during the day.
She turned to Jared again. Placed a hand on his bicep and kissed his shoulder. “I’ll text you, okay?”
His body remained hard. She didn’t understand him at all. But she did know she needed to get away. He didn’t speak.
“Jared?”
“Yeah. Text me.”
She lingered for a moment as her heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, then gave up and walked out the door.
Vanessa clicked LOBBY on the elevator, and waited as it travelled down. It felt like somebody was blowing bubbles in her stomach, and those bubbles were floating up through her throat, making everything feel wrong.
Going public with Jared Walker meant that everyone would know the details of their lives, everyone would know when things went south, and everyone would know when he got bored of her and jumped to the next one…
He was right to not want to go public. He was saving her a whole lot of unnecessary emotional damage.
Besides, she didn’t want their relationship being in any way attached to the project. Her students deserved their moment of celebration. She didn’t want the press jumping to scandal-mode, which they obviously would when her and Jared’s relationship became known.
And she really didn’t want herself dragged through the mud. Sleeping together and ignoring her alarms was one thing. But what about when he wanted to party? To act crazy? To go back to his old ways?
They were living in a fantasy world. He’d get bored of her quickly and move onto the next one.
It had already started. That’s why he’d done a one-eighty overnight and decided she was meant to be a dirty little secret.
Her hands kept shaking, and she suddenly didn’t trust her own knees to hold her up. Why was it so hot in there? Didn’t they have air-conditioning?
Whatever. She’d be a secret. Vanessa would rather her suffering be done in silence, anyway.
Screw him if he wasn’t proud to call her his. Screw everyone who felt that way.
She was just fine on her own.
Always had been, always would be.
Damn it, her chest hurt.
The elevator doors clicked and pulled open, and Vanessa was swarmed with flashing lights and reporters yelling questions over each other.
Chapter Twelve
“Miss Adams, is it true that you’re having an affair with Jared Walker?”
“Miss Adams, how long have you and Jared Walker been sleeping together?”
“Miss Adams, is your relationship with Jared Walker the reason for his involvement with your school’s project?”
“Miss Adams.”
“Miss Adams.”
“Miss Adams.”
Vanessa was ready to scream. Her heart was in her throat, nausea pooling in her stomach as she pushed through the crowd of reporters.
Panic set in, her brain stopped working.
Just get to the ca
r. Just get to the car. Just get to the car. She repeated it over and over in her head like a mantra. A spell. Like if she said it enough times, she’d vanish and be safely inside her vehicle, driving toward home.
She couldn’t wrestle through them.
The tremors in her hands did not let up.
“Miss Adams, were you upstairs with Jared Walker?”
“I- I-” She needed to deny it. “I wasn’t.” Deny, deny, deny.
“Miss Adams, what are you doing here if not with Jared Walker?”
“I- uhm, I-” She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think.
Just get to the car. She beelined for the door and made it out, spotting her car and rushing toward it. She could hear the swarm of bodies behind her.
“Miss Adams!”
Frustration grew within her. Jared broke her heart and threw her to the damn wolves.
She spun around. “I’m not sleeping with Jared Walker! I was not with him, I was not spending time with him, I was not doing anything with him.”
Screw him!
She reached into her bag for her keys. Clicked to unlock her car. Grabbed for the door and pulled it open as she did all she could to drown out the questions being shouted at her. She got in the car. Shut the door. Locked it.
All Vanessa wanted to do was bury her head in her hands and scream. But she couldn’t. They were still there, still watching her.
She put the car into drive and it lurched forward. She wasted no time getting out of there.
Once the reporters had disappeared in her rearview mirror, she dialed Jared.
It rang three times. “Are you okay?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” She felt a tear roll down her cheek. “Jared, there were reporters waiting at the elevator. They saw me leaving and pounced.”
Silence on the other end. “What happened? Did they hurt you?”
“What? No.” Not physically. And emotionally? Well… no worse than you did. “Jared, they knew I was with you. I denied it, but-”
“Baby, who cares?”
“You do! I do. We both do!” She yelled. She didn’t mean to, but the frustration building up inside of her was too intense.
She was losing control.
Vanessa physically felt her walls cracking, collapsing, only she was mush and would melt out into a puddle of mess that nobody would be able to clean up.
“It’s not that big of a deal, and-”
Not that big of a deal? Was he kidding? One minute she’s a secret and the next it’s not that big of a deal?
“Make it go away, Jared.” Her voice was icy. It was better than yelling, right? “I don’t care what you do or say, but you make this go away.”
Silence. “Vanessa, you know I’m just as bad at dealing with the press as you are. Arguably worse.”
Ha! He hadn’t seen the stuttering mess she’d been.
Panic continued pounding through her. She thought about pulling over to get sick, but swallowed hard and did her best to focus on the road.
Just get home.
“Be an ass. Distract them. Go back to your old ways. I don’t care.” She was lying. Talking purely out of frustration. But that didn’t stop her. “Just do whatever you need to do to make this go away.”
“Vanessa-”
“If you care about me at all, Jared.” She took in a shaky breath, barely able to grit the words out. “You’ll make it go away.”
“Are you embarrassed by me or something?”
She felt like she was going crazy. He was the one who didn’t want it going public, he was the one who was embarrassed by her.
No, I’m not embarrassed, I’m head over heels in love with you, and it’s going to destroy me. “Yes.”
She hung up the phone.
This whole thing was a mistake. Everything they’d done was a mistake. Vanessa couldn’t fit into his lifestyle and he wouldn’t fit into hers.
Opposites don’t attract, they ignite. Neutralize. Destroy.
Vanessa was done playing pretend. The project was over. It was time to go back to reality.
✽ ✽ ✽
Jared threw his phone.
So is that what happened when you let people in? You take down your walls and they change their damn minds?
He told her that he loved her, and she said nothing. And then this morning?
Well fine. She wanted him to go back to his old ways? Done deal.
Jared grabbed his shit, headed toward the elevator, and went right down to the lobby. The reporters would still be there, and he’d do exactly what she wanted.
Go back to his old ways? Check. Make this go away? Check.
You care, you get hurt.
So fuck caring.
The doors opened and he stepped out wearing his signature smirk as reporters pooled around him.
“Mr. Walker, is it true that you’ve been having an affair with Vanessa Adams?”
He scoffed. “Hell no.”
“Why were you and Miss Adams at the hotel last night?”
“Uh, we had a big event. We both worked hard on it and stayed to make sure all the funds were accounted for and things were tidied up.” He started thinking about the beautiful person she was, and had to scold himself.
Stay angry. Angry means you’re in control.
“You’re both wearing the same clothes as last night.”
“She left early.”
“She-”
“Enough!” His voice came out strong. Make it go away. “My affairs aren’t exactly kept private. I spend most of my nights with models, actresses, television hosts. What the fuck would I be doing with some high school teacher?”
The second the words left his lips, he regretted them. He wanted to take them back, opened his mouth to do so, but Gavin stormed into the room and grabbed him. Pulled him out of there and told the reporters he wasn’t taking questions.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gavin hissed. “I thought you were finally starting to clean up.”
“Fuck off.”
He ducked into the waiting limo, and Gavin followed him in.
He remembered being in that limo with Vanessa…
“Seriously?” Gavin’s face was hard, voice was low. “What’s going on?”
Jared rubbed his face in his hands, working to shove out the tension in his head. He squeezed his temples. “I fucked up.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“Not with the press. I don’t care about the press.”
“Jared, you-”
“I’m in love with Vanessa.” The words blurted out from him, the same words he wanted to tell the world. But she didn’t want that. Or did she? He couldn’t even tell. “We got into a fight, and I fucked up. I don’t even know why the hell we were fighting.” He squeezed his temples once more.
What was it that set her off? Why did she suddenly go from fire to ice on him? He’d offered to call her a car, and she seemed to like that… and then… Crap. When did her demeanor change?
“In love? When did this happen?” Gavin’s voice was low and gentle.
“I don’t know.” He slapped his hands to his thighs and leaned back, staring at the ceiling. Was it at her parents house? Was it the first time they’d had sex? Was it that first meeting at the coffee shop, when she put him in his place like nobody else ever had? Was it the second he saw her outside his building and knew he had to have her?
“It would’ve looked bad if you came out as in a relationship with her.” Gavin crossed one leg over the other. “It’s actually better that you were an ass. Good call.”
Jared stared at him. Waited for the understanding to come. It didn’t. “Excuse me?”
Gavin shrugged. “If you’d admitted that you’d been with her, it would’ve looked like we did all this to impress your new toy.” Jared growled. “Er, girlfriend. Whatever she is to you.” He rolled his shoulder. “It would’ve negated all the good we’ve done, and probably would’ve ended in her being out of a job.”
“How?” Why did everyon
e seem to understand except him? Vanessa had made it clear the night before that she didn’t want anyone knowing about them, and he tried to see it her way and agree and suddenly it’s an issue, and-
That was it. That was when her mood shifted.
When he said it was good they hadn’t gone public.
“Parents watch TV you know.”
Anger just kept growing. “The project had nothing to do with us. Those kids were incredible, and she was incredible, and us being involved didn’t have a thing to do with it.”
Gavin raised his hands. “Hey, I know that. But other people don’t. She’s a young teacher, not even in tenure yet. Bad press for her is far worse than it is for you.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the press!” Every damn aspect of his life revolved around what people saw. Why? What about what she saw? It was good at one point. It was so good that he started to see good in himself, too. And now he’d proven them both wrong.
He was just trying to respect her wanting to keep it private for awhile, for the kids or the foundation or whatever she had in mind. He didn’t agree because he’d meant it. He agreed for her.
He would shout out their relationships from the rooftops. They had nothing to hide. He had nothing he wanted to hide. Jared wanted the entire world to know she was his.
“How important is this woman to you?”
He thought about what he’d give to be with her, thought about all the things he’d do to win her back. Anything. He’d do anything.
“She’s everything.”
Gavin sighed and wiped his hand over his jaw. “Okay, fine. Let’s go to her place and clean this all up.”
Jared didn’t know what to say. “Did I hear you right?”
Gavin rolled his eyes and told the driver about their change in destination. “Don’t make me change my mind.”
“But… isn’t it bad press?”
“Terrible press,” Gavin agreed. “But I haven’t seen you care about anything but the foundation in years. Whatever she’s doing for you?” he drifted for a moment. “You’re my friend first, my business partner second.”
Jared grinned. Reached over and dropped his hand on Gavin’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
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