by Sherri Renee
“Expiration dates change, Lucas. I’m proof of that. Your time isn’t up. I need you.”
“Maddie?” Lucas’s eyes remained closed, and terror coursed through me.
“I’m here, Lucas.”
His eyes opened slightly to lock with mine. “Can I kiss you now?”
My chest cracked. We’d waited so long, first, so I wouldn’t get sick, and then because I thought we needed a perfect moment. I didn’t take time to reply. I moved so fast I was off the chair, our noses almost touching in an instant.
And then my lips were on his. A gentle brush of skin on skin. A promise of love. Stars flashed behind my eyes, and so much emotion filled my chest a part of me wondered how I could endure the intensity of it all without exploding. Pleasure. Love. Pain. Despair. Each emotion swirled and lapped at the next, as I slowly pulled back.
Lucas’s eyes were open. He reached up to cup my cheek. Placing my hand over his, I turned my head without taking my eyes from his and pressed a kiss to his palm.
“I love you, Maddie.” His voice was so soft. Too soft. A strangled gasp left my lungs. He was saying goodbye.
“Don’t you leave me, Lucas. Please don’t leave me. I was the one with the expiration date, not you. You can’t do this to me.” Tears plopped on the sheet, but I couldn’t be bothered to wipe them.
I was willing Lucas to live. Begging him, as if my words would somehow give him the strength he needed. As if he had a choice at all.
His lips moved toward a smile, but all I saw was the pain in his eyes. I wanted to scream. Pound on his chest. Demand more time. Curl in a ball and hide.
Lucas didn’t argue with me. He didn’t say a word, just lightly traced a finger over my cheek. His eyes closed, and his hand dropped.
I did scream then. I screamed until my throat was raw. Until my lungs burned. I screamed until strong arms bundled me up and dragged me from the room as it filled with a rush of anxious doctors and nurses and loud piercing beeps.
And when I couldn’t physically scream anymore, the sound still echoed in my head.
I found myself in an empty waiting room, huddled on a small couch with a blanket over my shoulders. Everything inside me burned like fire was consuming me from the inside out. Lucas had to be okay. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the alternative.
I felt more like I was dying in that instant—my very heart cracking open—than I ever had from my disease. I would have given my life ten times over for Lucas. He was the one who’d wrenched his way into my life and made me live again. He was the one who’d saved me. He couldn’t be the one to die.
Chapter 38
I missed graduation after all and realized I didn’t care in the least. It wasn’t important, not in the whole scheme of life. Not really.
I’d discovered love, above all else, was what made the world go ‘round. It was the most important thing of all. I felt foolish for locking my heart away from it for so long.
A cool breeze ruffled my hair. I stood in damp sand, letting my bare toes wiggle beneath the surface and leaned against a huge yellow surfboard. The sun flickered off the cresting waves as I stared out at the endless beauty of the ocean. I smiled slightly, drawing in a deep breath and filling my lungs with fresh, salty air.
The ocean was everything I’d imagined it would be. Everything I’d hoped for. Massive. Beautiful. And healing. I was so thankful it hadn’t disappointed me as dreams sometimes did.
Gulls screamed overhead, circling and diving, searching random bits of seaweed for their breakfast. Voices came from the distance. I glanced over to see the surf camp setting up for the day.
Dr. Reynolds had made me postpone my trip by a week to ensure I was completely healed, but as soon as he gave me the green light, I was on the next flight to California.
I was doing what I’d promised Lucas I would do. I was jumping into life with both feet. It was scary. Terrifying even, but it was a good kind of fear. A fear that reminded me my expiration date hadn’t arrived yet.
I almost wanted to change my mind about surfing. The board was so big and heavy, and the water so cold. And some of those waves were huge. But I’d dreamt about surfing for a long time now. It was one of the goals that had kept me going through the hard times. I would at least give it a shot.
I hoped after my first lesson, I’d realize I loved it. Even if I didn’t love it, I could say I’d done it. Thanks to Lucas, I was truly living without looking over my shoulder to see if death was nipping at my heels.
I tore my eyes from the beauty of the ocean to re-watch a video Riley had sent me a few days earlier. I shielded my phone against the glare from the sun and smiled as I saw the clips of Lucas and me that Riley had recorded over the past couple of months and pieced together to make a movie. She’d added a cool love song, and I wondered if the girl would go into videography someday.
Riley had captured so many moments I’d forgotten about. Moments of Lucas and I holding hands in the halls. Laughing. Staring deep into each other’s eyes. I wasn’t sure why Riley had made the effort, but I treasured every second of the history she’d managed to preserve.
When the video ended, I closed my eyes for a minute and simply drew in the peace surrounding me while the sun warmed my skin. It was beautiful there. Calming.
“Hey, there.” Warm arms circled my waist. I leaned back against a firm, familiar chest. Life was good, I thought, taking in another deep breath of sea air before turning in Lucas’s arms to face him.
Bruises still stained his beautiful face and body, but they were healing. As were the scars along his side. The long cast on his leg was covered with a waterproof wrap and the plastic cane he held had a flat bottom and was made for navigating sandy beaches. I traced a finger over an angry red scar on his side, being careful to keep my touch light. I knew the skin was still sensitive.
Lucas was going to be okay. We both were.
“I’m sorry you don’t get to surf this trip,” I told him for the hundredth time. His doctor hadn’t been happy about him traveling so soon after the accident, although he’d finally relented when he realized Lucas was going with or without his approval. But he’d been adamant that there be no surfing or any other strenuous activities in the near future for Lucas. And probably no basketball, ever.
I knew that fact bothered Lucas, but not as much as it would have if his future had still hinged upon the game. Lucas had already turned down his basketball scholarship and would be going to school with me in the fall. He would survive the blows the accident had dealt him, and it sounded like his dad was coming around, too.
Lucas wasn’t foolish enough to push his newly instated limits. He knew what it was now to have his own expiration date extended. It made life more precious somehow. Neither of us would squander it on intentionally bad decisions. For this trip, that meant Lucas sat on the sidelines, but I knew it wouldn’t be that way forever. Lucas would heal. We both would.
“Doc will kill me if I get this thing wet.” Lucas tapped his cast with the cane knocking some sand from it before a sexy smile curved his lips. “I’’ll have more fun watching you out there than if I were out there myself, anyway.”
I didn’t completely believe him, but I loved that he was there with me. I loved that he was there at all. The day he’d crashed in the hospital, the day of our first kiss, I’d been sure I’d lost him forever.
Panic started to fill me at just the thought of that terrible day, and I took a slow deep breath, forcing it back. For some reason, we’d both been given a second chance. I didn’t plan to waste a single second of it.
Lucas glanced over my shoulder toward the breaking waves, and his brows drew together. “The waves are big out there today,” he said. “Maybe you should wait until tomorrow before you brave it."
Skimming my hands up the warm, smooth skin of his sides, I looped my arms around Lucas’s neck. I took a long look at him. Drinking in the curve of his jaw. The green of his eyes. The firmness of his lips. Rising on tiptoe, I brushed my lips over his. A lo
w moan rumbled in his chest, and he pulled me close.
We took the kiss slow, letting it deepen and grow as my senses exploded with the pleasure of it. I ran my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. For a second, the image of Brianna doing the same at Luigi’s flashed through my mind. But I simply pushed it away. I had no jealousy when it came to Brianna because I knew in my heart that Lucas only wanted me.
The kiss heated, making me want more. Always more when it came to Lucas. But for now, a kiss would have to be enough. Lucas still had a lot of healing to do, and I—I broke away and peeked over my shoulder at the rising waves—I had an ocean to conquer.
“No,” I said softly, but with resolve as I checked out the waves. “I’ve had enough of ‘maybe tomorrows.’ Today’s good.”
Other books by Sherri Renee:
If I Were A Rich Girl
Redefining Summer
Falling for the New Guy
Falling for the Wrong Guy
Falling for the Broken Guy