Sand dollar

by Hollye Davis

  Once she was back at the cottage she hurriedly took a shower then fell asleep, she didn’t wake until almost dark, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was she was so sore from horseback riding that it took her twice as much time than normal to get dressed. She wobbled out onto the deck groaning at the sight of the steep steps. She was staring hatefully at them when Edwin showed up.

  Eyeing her cautiously he climbed the steps slowly, “What’s wrong?”

  Some of her pain dissipated when her pulse skipped at the sight of him, “I’m a bit sore from riding her horse.”

  He looked as if he was trying to suppress a smile but was failing. She swatted at him. “Stop it, I’m really hurting!”

  That is when he did the last thing she ever thought he would do. He picked her up as if she weighed nothing and took her to the fire in his arms. When he got there he announced that they wouldn’t be dancing tonight. Later, when the music was introduced, everyone danced but Edwin and her. Poor guy was subjected to listening to her wax the poetic about Bear.

  “I do believe I may be jealous of a horse. He is a very lucky chap, indeed, to have such affectionate owner.”

  She leaned her shoulder onto his, “Yep, I’m love with a tall black horse named Bear!”

  Then she lifted her head and smiled into Edwin’s eyes. His eyes burned into hers. She became uncomfortable and looked away, shy. She was scared, unsure, confused as to what it meant when he looked at her so…naked.

  When it was time to go, it was quite the ordeal to get her back to the cottage but Edwin persevered. She didn’t even complain when he held her close as he carried her. Being in his arms was the best feeling in the whole wide world.

  Bear was all muscle and soft feet. I galloped down the trails to the beach through the water and never once did he balk at what I asked him. As his hooves pounded the sand, the salty sea breeze ran across my face. I welcomed the taste on my lips, my tangled hair, and the freedom I felt. - Cloe’s diary

  Chapter 14 Jealousy They had galloped on the beach for an hour when she turned back toward the stables. It was the third day of riding Bear. Her muscles didn’t hurt anymore, the air was perfect, and she never felt more content. When she turned down a path she noticed Edwin’s car parked at the stable’s parking lot. She steered Bear around the stables to see if they could locate him, her heart pounded in anticipation.

  When she finally spotted Edwin he was in a deep conversation with Cole. When she guided Bear closer she noticed the conversation wasn’t a pleasant, in fact they looked like they were going to fight. Her heart pumped faster causing Bear to shift beneath her. She quickly dismounted leading him behind her, toward them. Edwin turned as she approached and she knew instantly he was not happy. She swallowed down her fear and pretended not to notice.

  “Hello Edwin, what a nice surprise. If you wait a minute I will cool Bear down and we can take a walk at the beach,” Cole reached for Bear taking his reins. It was something that had done many times in the last three days. She smiled a thank you at him as he started walking Bear away. When she turned back to Edwin his eyes had narrowed.

  She tilted her head to the side and was about to ask what was wrong when he spat out rudely, “Don’t bother. I see you are otherwise occupied here,” he looked disgustedly at Cole and then left. Cole stopped and tensed at Edwin’s parting words.

  She didn’t know what she had done to offend Edwin so.

  “Son of a Bitch,” Cole mumbled, shocking her further. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

  “Sorry, but you need to lose your boyfriend. He’s just another rich spoiled jerk, there are plenty around here.”

  “He isn’t my boyfriend. He’s a friend,” she explained.

  “Humph, that’s not what he implied. He told me to keep my filthy stable hands off of you or he would do it for me. He implied that you were involved with him,” Cole said.

  Involved? The only thing she was involved in was anger. How dare Edwin say such things and threaten her friends.

  “I need to go. Do you mind taking care of Bear?” She was trying hard to swallow down the tears and anger, failing miserably.

  “Sure,” Cole said but before she could walk off he squeezed her shoulder, “Don’t let anyone treat you badly. You deserve better.” She nodded. When she arrived at the cottage Edwin’s car was out front. It infuriated her. She stomped up the stairs to find her aunt in the living room looking out at something on the beach. Cloe slammed the door. Her aunt swung around, “What in the world did you do to Edwin?”

  “I don’t have the slightest idea!” she shouted stomping to her room slamming that door, and then strictly for emphasis, she went into the bathroom and slammed that door too.

  After a long hot shower, which settled her nerves down enough to concentrate on getting dressed to fix dinner, she walked into the living room to find Edwin pacing. His head down, an intense frown marring his perfect complexion. She stopped to glare him, her anger surging out of control by the mere sight of him.

  Typically, she was able to control her anger, mainly by justifying other people’s actions and laying blame on herself, but this time she couldn’t or wouldn’t. Her emotions were too close to the surface when it came to him.

  When he looked up, she shouted, “How dare you!” at the same time he said softly, “I’m sorry.” Well damn that defused some of her anger.

  They stood there staring at each other, breathing heavily, as if their emotions were linked somehow. God he was beautiful but she was angry. She would not let that distract her. She clinched her fist, trying to hold on to the anger.

  “You had no right being rude to me. I’ve had enough people be rude to me. I don’t need you to be one of them,” She huffed.

  Edwin scowled further, “What’s that guy to you? How long have you known him?”

  “That guy is none of your business!” She growled. She wasn’t giving in this time, she was standing her ground, she was not afraid. Okay, that last part was a lie. She was petrified and trembling uncontrollably. Never had she refused to answer a question out of anger.

  “I see. It’s like that. You’ll just ditch our friendship for some low life.” Edwin words dripped with ice as he stepped closer. She refused to move and was proud that she held her ground, even if she was looking at her feet.

  “I didn’t ditch anything for anyone,” She looked up, “I would never ditch you for anyone!” Oh dear, she didn’t want him to know that. She blushed fiercely and amended, “I mean, Cole’s a friend. He’s from Texas and he’s like my friends at home, but that’s it.” She shrugged, “he’s comfortable. ”Unlike Edwin, she added to herself. Why did she have to justify anything to him? He was just a friend too, wasn’t he?

  Edwin stepped even closer to her. She poked him in the chest with her index finger. “You said things to Cole that aren’t true, why?”

  He thought for a moment and then said, “They’re true.”

  She was terrified to look into his eyes so she kept talking to his chest, “As far as I know I’m not ‘involved’ with anyone.”

  His finger brushed the underside of her chin and lifted her face to meet his eyes. He was looking at her so intensely that she forgot to breathe.

  “Yes Cloe. You’re involved with me.” She gasped as he leaned his head down and kissed her opened lips.

  Stunned motionless, she didn’t have a clue what to do but it didn’t seem to bother Edwin. He moved gently against her lips coaxing her until she melted into him. All anger, all her thoughts morphed into feeling, supreme wonderful feeling. In all her dreams, in all her thoughts, nothing felt as good as his lips on hers. She followed his lead and kissed him back mimicking his kiss. He pulled her tighter to him. She happily complied, melting her body into his as they became one.

  The kiss lasted until she heard a gasp followed by a giggle that was unmistakably her aunt. Cloe jerked out of Edwin’s grasp. Feeling ashamed, Cloe grappled for some sort of explanation. Denial certainly wasn’t goin
g to work in this situation, it was obvious what they were doing.

  “Aunt, I ahh…” But thankfully, Aunt Claire smiled and simply said, “I have to go. You two please behave yourself. I don’t want the cottage to burn down with all the sparks going off here in the living room.”

  Cloe was blown away, she had thought maybe her aunt would kick her out for loose morals or at the very least ground her. Instead she left, how odd.

  His kisses were liked being sucked under by the water’s current into an ocean of feeling. – Cloe’s Diary

  Chapter 15 Girlfriend Edwin touched her cheek with his hand. She was blushing again. “Want to go and get something to eat and don’t say you’ll cook something for me, I want to something for you.”

  She nodded before realizing his intentions. They were leaving her sanctity and going beyond the gates. Her nails bit into her hands as she squeezed them into fists. Closing her eyes, she breathed. She could do this, she needed to test her ability to leave the cottage. Edwin was oblivious of her inner turmoil as they walked down the wooden steps.

  When they arrived at his car, he held the door open for her as she climbed into the black leather interior. She recognized the car as a Mercedes but only because they had been abundant in Germany. The car was black with windows tinted almost as black as the exterior. One word came to mind, anonymous, and this made her feel better - like she was invisible. He put on dark glasses and pulled out of the cottage driveway.

  She had left the community only that one time with her aunt so driving through the gates bothered her. When Edwin sensed her tension he reached for her clinched hand, opening it and splaying it across his thigh. He then laced his fingers with hers. She closed her eyes, letting his strength seep into her. For once she didn‘t have to try to relax. She just did.

  A short few minutes later he pulled up to a drive-through window. He turned toward her, “I find that I don’t have the patience to share you with strangers. I hope you don’t mind a picnic.”

  She nodded, relieved they weren’t going to some fancy restaurant where she would feel inferior and inept, not to mention underdressed. Fast food she could handle and a picnic was even better.

  The girl at the food service window looked dumbstruck by Edwin. It was the first time Cloe had seen anyone other than his friends interact with him or vice versa. He smiled a tight smile that clearly said, “leave me alone,” without him uttering a single word. The girl fumbled around and eventually was able to hand over the order without any major mishaps. Cloe tried to smile to assure the girl it was okay but the girl wouldn’t look in her direction. The girl opened her mouth as if she was going to say something but Edwin cut her off, handed her a $100 bill, and hit the gas.

  The girl needed a lesson in subtlety, Cloe thought. Edwin was an insanely gorgeous guy but they were in LA, there had to been plenty of gorgeous people. Edwin was probably used to women acting ridiculous, but she wasn’t. An unpleasant feeling of jealousy bloomed in her chest. She chewed internally of her ineptness and his perfection. She was so involved in self deprecating thoughts that she wasn’t even aware Edwin had parked until he began to dig into the grease soaked bags. A quick glance out the window showed it was some public rest area overlooking a Canyon. Edwin opened his hamburger and took a bite when she looked incredulous at the interior of the immaculate new car.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked after swallowing a bite.

  “Well, uhhh, are we going to eat in here?” She asked concerned.

  “Yes, it is a lot more comfortable in here. Don’t worry about the car, it will endure.” Maybe it would endure him but she didn’t eat like it was an art.

  She unwrapped her burger cautiously but before she could take a bite Edwin put his down and said, “Listen, I think I need to explain myself.” He cleared his throat before continuing, looking uncomfortable.

  With her cheeseburger was suspended halfway to her mouth, she waited for him to continue.

  “When you got your horse, I was excited. I like to ride too and I thought I would stop by the stables and see about leasing a horse or something. When I saw that guy watching you, I don’t know what came over me but I kind of lost it. He doesn‘t want to be just friends, as you believe, and therefore he wasn’t very pleasant finding out about me either.”

  She snorted her disbelief while placing her burger on her lap. He ignored it and continued, “You say he’s just a friend but you say you are very comfortable with him?” He looked at her for clarification.

  “Yes. But in a big brother kind of way,” she explained.

  He sighed in relief.

  “Well that’s good because I don’t want to be a big brother,” Edwin looked at her in a very non-brotherly way causing her heart to squeeze painfully as excitement rushed in her veins. “What I am trying to say is that I want you to be mine, only mine. I won’t get in your way if you want that guy, but I won’t share you in that way. Don‘t misunderstand me, you can be friends with him but if you want him in any other way, I can’t bear to be around.” She sat stunned. How could he possibly think that she would want Cole after that make-out session at the cottage?

  Then he apologized again. “I am sorry for being rude earlier Cloe. When you smiled at him I think my heart broke into a million pieces. I thought you had feelings for him. That he got your before I ever had a chance.” Edwin looked at her expectantly.

  She was completely dumbfounded not knowing what to say. Besides, anything coming from her mouth would just mess everything up so she did the only thing she knew to do. She leaned across the car, careful of the hamburgers, and kissed him on the cheek. Then she whispered in his ear, “Cole is just a friend. You are more.” It was an understatement but she didn’t know how else to tell him.

  He closed his eyes as his hands gripped the steering wheel. When he reopened them his look shot heat straight through her. He reached for her but the moment was broken when another vehicle pulled in beside them.

  The silver SUV rocked as a bunch of teenagers spilled out of it. It reminded her of a circus clown car as they continued to endlessly plop on the pavement. They ran around laughing. One girl with long straight blonde hair was teasing another boy in a letter jacket holding a beer. Another letter jacket clad guy bumped into our car and was clearly intoxicated. He tapped on the window and said, “Hey who’s in here, can’t see anything! Come out if you dare.” All the other intoxicated idiots laughed alongside him. She tensed immediately. Oh God, these were the type of kids who loved to give her a hard time. Edwin said, “I think it’s a bit crowded, don’t you?” She nodded, clutching her stomach. Edwin put his car in reverse and accelerated away. Every mile away made her feel better. She imagined those idiots as potential classmates and nearly threwup. She ruthless pushed those thoughts down to her stomach and concentrated on what Edwin had told her. He only wanted her. How about that! They drove around never really staying anywhere long. He pointed at different places around town but she was content just driving. Cloe didn’t care, as long as Edwin continued to hold her hand.

  When they finally arrived at the cottage the sun was beginning to set.

  “You don’t mind if I come in until our friends arrive tonight?” Edwin asked.

  “You’re welcome anytime.”

  Once inside, she did something she wasn’t very good at. She asked a personal question. She started shaking and feeling sick but she pushed on.

  “Umm, Edwin?” She asked in a weak voice.

  He smiled, “Yes?”

  “Why do your friends like me?” She wanted to snatch it back, fearful he would laugh at her or worse. It felt as if she was fishing for compliments when in truth she was just wandering how they could stand her when no-one else had been able to in her life.

  “You amuse them,” He answered with a smile. “You’re very different than the people we know. You’re completely unaffected and it’s a relief.” He came over and kissed her on the forehead, “Plus you’re beautiful, caring, smart, and the accent.”

 
Accent? They like her accent? Most people thought she was a dumb country hick. And for the rest, she was an entertaining idiot, who was naive, and bazaar. Regardless of all this though, she was feeling complemented. He called her beautiful, caring, and smart. That was all that mattered to her anyway.

  They made their way into her bedroom where Edwin lounged on her bed flipping through a couple books she had been reading. He ran across a picture she had stuck in one for a bookmark. It was a picture of her grandparent’s farm in Texas. The ends were curled and the picture was creased but it still brought a smile to her face. He looked at it for a long moment before commenting, “There aren’t any trees, just cows and pasture”

  Cloe smiled, “Yes it’s wonderful, you can see for miles and miles. You might not have a neighbor for at least a mile but you can see their house. It gave me some comfort when her grandmother became sick that I wasn’t alone.”

  He gave her a sweet smile. “Do you still miss Texas? I know I asked you before but has it changed?”

  “Texas is home. It always will be, but I don’t miss my life there, not anymore. When I was in Germany I prayed to go back every single day, even though there was nothing for me to go back to. When I landed in Los Angeles not knowing if I really had an aunt, I had a plan to take a bus back there. I don’t know what I would have done but I think that I would have found a way.” She shrugged, “I miss it less ever day though. It’s nice to have my aunt and friends.” She shyly smiled at him.

  “You didn’t know you had an aunt before landing in Los Angeles?” He sounded incredulous.

  “No,” she answered softly and turned to go into her closet. She didn’t like to think how hopeless she had felt that day. She touched her clothes for comfort when Edwin’s arms slipped around her waist. He rested his cheek on the top of her head taking in a large breath as he spoke. His voice reverberated all the way through the core of her body.