by Hollye Davis
He smiled a crooked smile, “Sure darling, for two beautiful women like you, I’ll drive to the moon.”
Cloe rolled her eyes AGAIN, “Good Grief, let’s go Kim before he makes the whole school sick.” Kim, however, didn’t look sick at all. She looked like she was half in love with the cowboy. They walked up the front steps, each step harder than the one before. At the final step, right before the door, all her bravado went out the window and she hesitated. Her breathing became erratic and her palms sweated. Trying to catch her breath, she feared she was going to have a panic attack. She can’t face those people, she couldn’t go in there. Kim seemed to understand and stopped next to her watching her closely.
When someone touched her from behind she nearly came unglued. Letting out a yelp she flung her body around. Kim immediately stepped in front of her. Kim’s fists were clinched, as if she was going fight every single person who touched her.
When they both stared at a barrel of a chest, even though the guy was on a step lower, they both comically simultaneously looked up and kept looking up to the biggest boy she had ever seen in her life. He had to weigh over three hundred pounds and was several inches over six feet tall. Kim dropped her hands to her side. “You Cloe?” He said in a deep voice.
Kim must have regained her senses because she snapped at him, “What’s it to you?”
Cloe turned her gaping expression to Kim. She must be joking snapping at a guy who could pick her up and toss them without any problem!
He swung his massive head, “It matters a lot. I’m a friend of Edwin, he says I am to always walk with Cloe.”
Kim swung around to her and said, “Damn, your boyfriend IS connected!”
So that was it, her very own personal bodyguard and she had no idea how Edwin pulled it off but she was thankful. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to go back into that school without some protection.
Her new “friend’s” name was Jeff and although he was actually on the football team, he didn’t condone the way the players or cheerleaders had been treating her.
Jeff explained, “Just because one plays on the team doesn’t mean that we have to do everything together,” he peered down to Cloe, “or agree that beating up someone is fun.”
“You’re linebacker,” Kim suddenly asked.
“No,” He grinned.
“Front linesmen?” Kim bantered.
“No,” Jeff had a big smile.
Cloe interrupted, “Oh good grief Kim, who cares?”
They both looked at her as if they very much cared. She mumbled, “Obviously ya’ll do.” “Center,” Jeff answered.
“Oh, very cool position!” Kim said enthusiastically. Cloe started walking and they kept talking about football. She hadn’t been to a football game since Texas. She used to go to the 1A high school games when she wasn’t busy at the farm. That had to be at least five years ago. She never had a great understanding of it either so she couldn’t understand half of what Kim and Jeff talked about.
When they met up with Jody the girl kept looking at Jeff as if he was going to eat her. But after a few minutes Jody and Jeff hit it off. When Jody started flirting with Jeff, Cloe watched in disbelief. Oh good grief, Edwin was quite the matchmaker for her friends who were growing in numbers by the minute.
Her growing eclectic group of friends brightened her mood even when she received snickers from the cheerleaders. It only took one stern look from Jeff to silence them.
It would be great if she could avoid that little click altogether but they were everywhere ready for a moment to heckle.
Whereas all the other people in her classes avoided her as if a beating was contagious. She tried to imagine herself in their shoes, would she befriend a kid who seemed to always be destined for trouble? But even if the situation was reversed she knew she would because she couldn’t or wouldn’t turn a blind eye against any humanbeing who was suffering. Maybe that is because she knew what it is like to suffer.
When she got to art class she was expecting the same kind of reactions. Ignore the girl who looked like she had an accident with a can opener. But to her surprise when her classmates saw her face they all expressed their outrage.
Tom said, “I heard a rumor, but I didn’t think it was true.” He put his hand on her shoulder and continued, “That is just so not cool, Cloe. Not that anything they have done has been cool, but this is not okay.”
Tears started to leak again. She was touched that she wasn’t alone anymore.
She felt her heart grow when her friends surrounded her as she went to lunch, protecting her. It was a nice feeling to have people care enough about you to protect you from the evil plaguing the school.
Having friends didn’t stop the verbal assaults or the nasty notes that were placed in her locker. She didn’t think twenty guys the size of Jeff would be able to stop that but at least she felt safer. She could survive this.
Of course that was right before she got called in the Vice Principal’s office again. In all her illustrious years in High school she had never been sent to the office so many times. The Vice Principal and apparently a guidance councilor she didn’t know existed were waiting for her when she arrived. What now?
Initially they both seemed incredulous to the reports of any beating until they saw the evidence blatant on her face. They both turned white and began talking amongst themselves again. She folded herself in the chair and waited. She would rather be at the dentist having her teeth drilled then be in this office again.
Finally after their deliberation, the Vice Principal started with, “I don’t know what you have done to make these people so angry at you.” That was all it took for her to turn the ignorant man out of her mind. What she had done! She had spent her life blaming herself for what other people had done to her. Edwin was right, she didn’t deserve this. She clinched her fist but she was too conditioned to say anything back to him. Let the little man believe she deserved this so he can sleep better at night.
She nodded in all the right places as the Vice Principal went on with tripe about not causing waves in the school and she wouldn’t be picked on. Good grief this guy is a supreme ass and the sooner she was out of there the better.
Her stomach hurt even more than before, she was that angry. When they dismissed her she made her way to her locker. She yanked it open and stuffed her papers, then immediately slammed it shut. The sound echoed all the way down the hall making her feel better. She didn’t want to go back to her final class but she really didn’t have anywhere else she could go, so she slid down to the ground staring at the institutional colored walls wondering how idiots such as the Vice Principal made it into their positions. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket wanting to call Edwin so badly, but she never called him, she always waited for him to call her. She just couldn’t get past some of the issues she had, and putting herself up front was one of them. When the final bell rung she stood up and waited for Kim to join her. Unfortunately Britney saw her standing by herself and decided to seize this opportunity to harass her. God she was so obvious. Her perfect blonde hair, with her perfectly done make-up with a determined expression came waltzing her way. How can someone so beautiful on the outside be so ugly on the inside?
The girl had a purposeful stride determined to make it to Cloe before anyone else did. At the moment she didn’t care. The bitch could pull out a gun and begin shooting and she didn’t think she would flinch.
Well, no, that isn’t true. One thing in her life that Cloe knew was that she was not suicidal. She had hopes and aspirations. It was just plain stupid to think anything in this life was bad enough to where you couldn’t rectify it. If anyone knew that, it was her.
When Britney finally arrived at her locker all the usual poison spewed forth from her mouth. Cloe analyzed her not hearing a word she said and began to feel a little sorry for her. It occurred to her Britney must have some sort of insecurities, otherwise why would she waste her time with someone like her? Cloe didn’t pose a threat in her pop
ularity nor did she care about this school or anything that happened within it. So why should Britney care about her?
The question bugged her so when Britney paused to take a breath, she decided she would ask her exactly that.
“Why do you care?” Cloe asked in an emotionless tone. Britney gaped dumbly, which Cloe perversely thought made her ugly. After a strained moment of silence Britney gathered her wits and answered stupidly, “I don’t care about you loser.”
“Well if you don’t care then why don’t you just leave me alone?” Cloe asked as calmly and sensibly as she could muster.
“Because you need to know where your place is,” Britney shot back. Her eyes were vivid, as if harassment was the drug of power for her.
“And saying this garbage will notify me of my place? Well let me save you some time and effort Britney. My place is getting out of this place as fast as I can. I don’t have a choice to go anywhere else and I really don’t care about anything that happens within these four walls. So do us all a favor and put your energies toward something else. Maybe like cheerleading or screwing the football team one player at a time, unless you like to gang bang. Whatever it is you like, just leave me alone.” In hindsight she really shouldn’t have said that last bit about screwing the football players but she really didn’t regret it, nor did she want to take it back.
Britney was so angry she was turned a blotchy red. It was rather unattractive. Britney put up her hands to push Cloe when Jeff stepped in front of Britney.
“Hi Britney, can I help you?” Jeff gave her a placating smile.
Britney looked ready to explode but turned and stomped off.
Kim finally showed up out of breath, “I heard you and Britney were about to slug it out or some such nonsense.”
Cloe patted Kim on the back, “Jeff saved the day again, no worries.”
After that they made their way to the parking lot where Cole was leaning in the typical lax Texan way on his truck. The only unfortunate thing was that they had to walk by Britney to get to him.
“Oh I see you get around,” Britney taunted pointing at Cole, “such a whore and he drives such nice wheels too!” Britney and her group laughed.
“So very original Britney. Isn’t that what I just called you not five minutes ago?” Not waiting for a response, Cloe kept walking to Cole’s truck.
It wasn’t more than five steps when someone pushed her from behind, Cloe turned around bored.
“What a nice face you have there Cloe. It is such an improvement to your normal looks,” Britney smirked.
Kim stepped up in Britney’s face with her fist clenched but Cole had stepped forward and moved Kim behind him.
“Step back,” he said to Britney in a low dangerous voice then turned to grab Cloe’s elbow escorting her to the truck. Kim flanked her other side. Cloe couldn’t help when Kim gave Britney her favorite squinty-eyed-death-glare.
“Get in,” Cole ordered them. He got in, started the truck and drove off. When they got on the road Cole turned a concerned face to Cloe, “Are you okay?” She nodded with her head down. She was a little ashamed that Britney had goaded her into such bad behavior.
They didn’t say much until Cole asked where Kim lived. Cloe immediately asked, “You don’t want to stay the night?”
Kim looked sadly at her and said, “I can’t tonight, I’m sorry. I have to babysit.”
“Oh, okay.” Damn, she was not looking forward to going to an empty cottage. Edwin always said she ruined him, but she is beginning to think she was ruined for life. She used to live to be alone, now she lived to have company. Cole was deep in thought when he dropped her off. His departing words were, “When you get a chance stop by the stables and take Bear out. He’s missed you since you started school”
“I will, I’m still sore though and I don’t think it would be a good idea today.” His eyes flashed with anger, then he nodded. She added, “I do miss him terribly,” as she got out of the truck. She was not sure if Cole knew if she was talking about Bear or Edwin. She wasn’t sure either.
She walked into a depressingly empty cottage and plopped on her bed. She wanted to cry but she didn’t. Her stomach was hurting far more than usual, so for the first time in a very long time she rolled into a ball and tried not to think.
She must have fallen asleep because when the phone rang she was so startled she nearly fell out of the bed. Grabbing it off her nightstand she gazed at the caller id, her heart pounding when she saw Edwin’s name pop on the screen. She fumbled around trying to answer it but she was so nervous she dropped it. In a panic she grabbed it and was finally able to answer it. Her breathing sounded as if she had just run a mile.
“Hallo love.” She could die right now and be happy.
“Hello Edwin”
“Was your day any better?” She hesitated a minute and he swore.
“No, no it wasn’t that bad. Cole picked me up this morning, by your request. Then a guy named Jeff followed me around like a lost puppy dog all day, by your request.”
“Good,” he sighed.
“I’m learning I have a very resourceful boyfriend.”
“I wish I could be there.”
“Me too,” she paused then added, “How are things there?”
He sighed again, “I can’t sleep without you. You’ve ruined me.”
They both stopped talking for a minute and then he said.
“Love, it’s late and I need to go. I promise I will find time to talk to you tomorrow. I just had to hear your voice. Somehow it makes me feel better. Damn, I think I rather cut off my arms than be away from you, especially after what happened.”
“Please don’t, I’m quite fond of those arms,” She said causing him to laugh. She felt better than she had in days.
“Goodnight my love, or in my case good morning.” She smiled into the phone like an idiot. She loved it that he called her his love, it was such a British thing to say.
“Goodnight, I love you,” she answered back.
She hung up staring at the phone. Her heart broke all over again. How was she going to make it for a month without him?
With that thought she got out of bed and took a shower then went back to bed. She didn’t see Aunt that night nor hear her come home. She didn’t dream, she didn’t hear, she just slept the sleep of the dead.
The cycle of life really sucked. I would be excited that school was over for the day, dread going home to the cottage if I was by myself, work on homework and be glad for sleep. Yet it never failed, mornings would come again and I would have to start the whole day over again. What was the purpose of this torture? – Cloe’s Diary
Chapter 6 Mob Mentality She dreaded getting up every morning and going to school but she knew it was inevitable task that she had to complete. Through the following weeks the physical attacks ceased due in large to Jeff, however the personal attacks continued. She found a paper bag full of dog poop in her locker and wondered how they were getting in it. She asked the school to reset the lock or reassign her to another section. They would do neither. It was beyond her as to why the school administration was purposely making her life more difficult. How hard would it be to change lockers for a tortured student? Was it some sort of sick tough love to prepare you for the outside world school policy? If so, she could teach them a thing or two. She didn’t need their harassment; She needed someone to care and a little help.
After her visit to the front office to beg for a locker she came to the conclusion that the school’s lack of concern was due to pure laziness. The teachers were under- compensated and didn’t want to deal with problems not associated directly to their classroom or domain. The attacks on her were not in the classroom but outside of it. Therefore, no one wanted to stepup because that might obligate him or her to further work. God forbid that anyone put extra effort out there.
She didn’t care about most of the attacks. Somehow notes that were dropped in her lap that read things like “Eat shit, Dog whore, Got poop?” didn’t bother her a
s much as being abandoned by one’s parents. She thought about the trees that were sacrificed for their idiocy and wondered if the dead tree was as appalled as she with such ignorance scribbled on them. The most disturbing thought was the whole student population seemed to take utter joy into her torture.
There was the exception of her friends in her art class. Those few people didn’t find humor in the hostility directed at her, nor did they tolerate it when they were around. It was hard to believe that only a handful of students were outraged by the happenings in such a large school but that was the truth.
In study hall she was studying World War II in her history class. It explained how a large population sanctified murdering people who did nothing but be Jewish. At first comprehending the cruelty was hard to understand, yet when she applied it to her life and witnessing first-hand the mob mentality, she was beginning to grasp how cruel people really could be in masses. It was as if the people of this school were incapable of individual thought.
The bell rung breaking her thoughts, she gathered her books and as usual Jeff was outside her door ready to accompany to her next class.
Although Jeff didn’t say a lot to her, she felt he was getting restless with babysitting her all the time. She knew it had to be tough being a babysitter so she told him that it would be cool if he didn’t want to do it anymore.
“Are you kidding me?” He asked incredulous. “No.” She fidgeted with her shirt. This was harder than she thought. She was actually scared to imagine not having Jeff beside her.
“You seriously would let me walk away with the way people treat you around here?” He didn’t let her answer, he ranted on, “It’s disgusting! I have never been more disgusted with the human race than I have been here. Not to mention that the teachers just look away. I mean what the hell?!” Jeff looked angry and for the first time in their short acquaintance she could see what an opponent on a football field would see. She felt sorry for that guy.
“Listen, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve determined I must secrete some sort of chemical that causes this kind of reaction. It’s not like I haven’t been abused before,” she said offhandedly.