A Mother's Strength

by Allie Pleiter

  And she couldn’t argue that it was just any music. Creature of melody that she was, she played music in the house all the time, but it never had that profound an effect on Zack as she had seen in that golf course banquet room. Somehow, Sawyer’s music had reached Zack in a way she couldn’t.

  Was it the music? Or the man?

  Either way, she couldn’t come up with the words for what a victory that was. Whatever she said in thanks wouldn’t be enough. She’d said thanks—dozens of times—the other day, but more needed to be said.

  When Sawyer walked through the door ten minutes later, Molly realized something else. Sawyer had changed, too. Not dramatically, but his bearing was a little bit lighter. The lines of his face weren’t so tightly drawn. He looked more at home in the world. The extraordinary connection between him and Zack healed both boy and man. How was she supposed to keep her distance from a powerful truth like that?

  Molly started with something simple. “Zack put your drawings up on the refrigerator. And he asked me to take him to the hardware store after school to choose the right gray color paint for his hippo. He’s excited.”

  “That’s great,” Sawyer replied.

  “No, you don’t get it. Zack’s excited. That’s so much more than great.” She began making the espresso needed for Sawyer’s Americano. She didn’t have it ready and waiting this time because she wanted to add to the time they spent talking. And the truth was, his visits were becoming the highlight of her mornings.

  “It’s amazing,” she went on. “I was worried he’d pull the plug on the whole thing the way he was upset.”

  “Did you ever figure out what set him off?”

  What set Zack off? Some days Molly felt as if she’d be spending the rest of her life trying to figure out what set Zack off. “No. I’m not even sure it matters. The list of things that get under his skin is a mile long. And I feel like it changes every day.”

  “That has to be rough.” She couldn’t stop herself from noticing every little thing about the man. The way his hair kicked up into a little bit of a wave at the ends. The way the sun would occasionally catch the gold in his eyes and set them off like firelight. The scuffs on the leather of his watchband. The scar that ran from the back of his jaw down one side of his neck. The way he held her eyes for just a second longer than usual this morning.

  “But he pulled himself out of it,” she continued. “Or you pulled him out of it. That’s huge. How did you know what to do?”

  She must have tried a dozen different types of music to help pull Zack from one of his glum moods. It had never worked. And ragtime? Never in a million years would she have associated that cheery, old-time music with the man in front of her.

  Sawyer shrugged. “I didn’t know what to do. To tell you the truth, I hadn’t touched a piano in months before that moment. If he hadn’t crawled under the piano, I never would have thought to try it.”

  Zack hadn’t mentioned that. “He hid under the piano?” The instant vision of Zack cowered under that massive grand piano sent a sharp sting through her heart.

  “More like seeking shelter. I think the room felt too big for him. If he was hiding, he wouldn’t have liked me crawling down under there with him.”

  Molly tried not to gape. “You crawled under the piano with him?” Sawyer wasn’t a small man. The image of him crouched under there with little Zack would have made her laugh if it hadn’t been so heartwarming. In fact, that persistent glow in her heart—the one she was trying hard to ignore—doubled at the image.

  “He fit under there a lot easier than me, that’s for sure.” The corner of his mouth turned up—quickly and easily this time. She relished the idea of being able to bring a smile out of him. And what a smile it was.

  Molly had to tell herself to stop staring and snap a lid onto his coffee. But the minute she slid it across the counter, her eyes found his again. The small skip in her heart had nothing to do with caffeine.

  “He had me download twelve different ragtime songs onto his tablet last night,” she told Sawyer. “He played them for hours.”

  “Kid’s got good taste.” Sawyer picked up the coffee, but didn’t turn to leave. He lingered. She liked that.

  “So,” he began, a bit sheepishly, “I’ve got a request of sorts.”

  After this past victory, Molly couldn’t think of a request she would refuse this man. “Sure.”

  “How much free garage space do you have at your house?”

  “It’s a one-car garage, but I can park my car outside for a while to make room. For the festival cart?” They had made plans for Sawyer to come over and begin actively building the cart the next evening.

  “Yeah, with the way weather changes around here, I don’t think we should build it outside. But also...well, it’s a bit of a surprise. I’ll bring it with me tomorrow afternoon. I just wanted to make sure you had room for us to get started. Make sure Zack is wearing clothes that can get messy.” He froze for a moment. “Zack will be okay getting messy, won’t he?”

  Molly had thought about that herself. Some messes he was fine with; other kinds of mess threw him for a loop. “We’ll have to figure that out as we go along, I suppose.” She felt the need to say it again. “Thank you. For understanding him. For understanding both of us.”

  She regretted that last statement right away. The attraction growing between them made it way too easy to slip up and say things that should be left unsaid. She’d made it clear this was to be about Zack, and she trusted Sawyer to honor that.

  “I like the little guy.” The tilt of Sawyer’s head spoke of such an honest affection that Molly’s heart skipped a little. A lot, actually.

  For a moment the air felt thick and close between them. Molly was both glad and disappointed there was no one else in the shop. Even the full length of the train car seemed too small a space to be alone with Sawyer Bradshaw this morning. It made her wonder if tomorrow night was going to be fun or challenging. Likely both.

  Sawyer cleared his throat and tipped his coffee at her. “Just make sure there’s space in the garage, and that I can get up the drive. Lots to unload. And don’t say anything to Zack. I want this to be a surprise.”

  “Be prepared for anything,” Molly advised. “Surprises aren’t always the best way to go with Zack.” When she saw Sawyer’s features fall, however, she added, “But somehow, I figure this one is worth risking.”

  The smile returned to his face. Molly would pray hard that the surprise went well. All three of them could sure use the boost.

  * * *

  “Mom! Mom!” Zack raced into the kitchen the following afternoon with eyes as big as saucers. He grabbed her arm right out of the dishwater, sending a splash of suds over Molly’s leg and the floor. “You gotta come look!”

  If it was Sawyer and his surprise, he was ten minutes early. “What is it?”

  “A great big truck just pulled into our driveway.”

  Molly shot up a quick prayer of thanks that Zack looked excited rather than upset. She wiped her free hand on her jeans as Zack yanked her around the corner to the front room window. Just as Zack had described, a large white truck with green lettering was backing into her drive, the incessant beep of a reverse gear announcing its arrival.

  Molly had to look at it twice, and almost shake her head in disbelief, to register the sight.

  A flatbed truck bearing the Mountain Vista logo was backing up her driveway. On the bed, tied down and covered with a clear tarp, was a golf cart.

  She opened the front door as the beeping stopped and the truck stilled. Sawyer climbed down out of the driver’s seat. There was no other word for it: he was grinning. Not the careful, tentative smile he occasionally offered. This one lit up his face in a way that made her breath hitch.

  “Whoa!” Zack gasped beside her. “It’s one of the baby cars from the golf course!”

  Molly and S
awyer both laughed. “That’s one way to put it,” Sawyer said as he hoisted himself up onto the truck bed and began to undo the belts and tarp. “This one was headed for the junk heap so I got permission to put it to a better use.”

  “You mean it doesn’t work?” Alarm pitched Zack’s voice up.

  “Not great, but we can fix it to do what we need. Say hello to your hippo, Zack.”

  “No way!” Zack’s hands went to his head as if it were going to explode. In a good way.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. This is the surprise?” Molly had been thinking it was a wheelbarrow or a big wagon or something—but a golf cart? This was so far beyond what she’d expected. The grand and generous gesture nearly brought her to tears.

  Sawyer hit a few switches on a control and the truck bed began to tilt like a tow truck. Even the neighbor across the street came out their front door to see the unusual delivery. If anyone was going to put up a fuss about a Mountain Vista truck in her driveway, Molly couldn’t bring herself to care. Not after this.

  “I told you Mr. Walker suggested we could soup up a golf cart to make the perfect hippo,” Sawyer explained.

  “Well, yes, I saw the drawings Zack brought home.” They’d actually been quite clever. “But I didn’t think you’d really...”

  Sawyer pulled a pair of gloves from his back pocket. “Yeah, well, to tell you the truth, neither did I.” At that moment, he seemed just as baffled by his enthusiasm as Molly was. If God was in the surprise business as much as Pastor Newton said, He certainly was proving it today.

  Molly helped Sawyer and Zack go through the mechanics of backing the cart down off the truck. She watched them work together pushing it into the space she’d cleared in the garage. The whole time she grasped for words to say how grateful she was, how this huge gesture touched her deeply.

  A sharp note hid under all the gratitude, however. She couldn’t help thinking that it should be Steve doing this. It seemed like such a father-and-son project—she’d almost opted out of participating just because it would shine a spotlight on the hole Steve had left in Zack’s life.

  A hole Sawyer was now filling. But for how long? She’d never gotten the sense that he was in Wander Canyon to stay. He wasn’t trying to fit into the community—just the opposite most days. What would it do to Zack if he connected so deeply to Sawyer and then Sawyer left? He can’t have another man abandon him, Lord, she prayed as Zack dashed back into the house to get the drawings Sawyer had given him. Don’t You dare let that happen.

  Molly took advantage of the quick moment alone with Sawyer. “This is...amazing. Thank you for caring so much.” Even as the words left her mouth, they seemed too personal.

  Sawyer’s face flushed a bit. “I know it’s a bit over-the-top. And I’ll make sure things don’t get out of hand.”

  Was he talking about the project, or how close he was getting to Zack? To her? She didn’t dare ask.

  “Can you get it done? There’s only a week until the festival.” The short timetable meant Sawyer would be around her house a lot over the next seven days. She found that prospect dangerously appealing.

  “It’s mostly just paint.” Sawyer ran a hand over a dent in the cart’s fender. “We have to sand it to get the paint to stick on the finish, but once that’s done it should go pretty quick.” He gave her an apologetic look. “Although I can’t vouch for the artistry—it might only barely look like a hippo with my skills.”

  She’d been wondering what her role in all this would be. “I’ll be glad to help with that.”

  “Mom’s good at drawing,” Zack chimed in as he came back with the papers. “What do we do first?”

  Molly practically gasped. Usually Zack had to think about a project for hours—even days—before starting. He had to “worry it through” before he could commit to starting something. And yet he looked absolutely ready to dive in this minute.

  “Oh, wait. I forgot.” Zack turned back toward the house.

  Sawyer looked at Molly with a raised eyebrow. “What’d he forget?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. Is it okay for him to be sanding this? Isn’t it fiberglass?”

  “Mostly plastic,” Sawyer replied, turning to fetch a canvas workbag from the truck. “But yes, I thought of that.” He reached into the bag and produced three sets of safety goggles and dust masks, along with packets of sanding block and papers. “It’ll still be messy, but totally safe. I checked with Wyatt since he knows about auto bodywork and the carousel, just to be sure.”

  He’d made sure it was all safe—there wasn’t a faster way to a mother’s heart. The cliché phrase struck a little too close to home. Sawyer was finding his way to her heart, and she wasn’t sure she could stop it. Or if she even wanted to. “Thank you for that.” Again, the lack of sufficient words tied her tongue in knots. “Thanks for all of this.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I’m way out on a limb here.”

  She knew that. Sawyer was putting himself way out there for Zack’s sake. Molly’s heart grabbed on to that truth and held it close. She was losing the battle to keep her distance, she could tell.

  The sound of ragtime piano filled the garage as Zack came back with his computer tablet and a little speaker. “Now we got music to help us work.”

  “Great idea, Zack.” Sawyer held out the pint-size mask and goggles. “Ready to get messy?”

  Zack’s enthusiastic nod felt large enough to fill the entire canyon.

  * * *

  Sawyer blew the dust off the cart’s back fender and stretched his back. He was going to have to go to work in a few hours, and for the first time in forever he didn’t welcome the idea. The appeal of the dark solitude had nothing on the welcome warmth of the afternoon he’d spent in Molly’s garage. In Molly’s presence.

  He glanced over at Zack. The boy’s brows were furrowed in focus behind safety goggles and a mask. His hands—inside the child-sized work gloves Sawyer had bought at the hardware store along with the other supplies—worked the sanding block back and forth.

  What he’d said to Molly was true: he liked Zack. Sure, the boy was complicated and fearful, but Sawyer understood those feelings. He understood what it did to you to be certain the world wasn’t your friend. It took a lot of energy to move through the world without Molly’s nonstop optimism.

  He stole a glance over at Molly. He’d been stealing them all afternoon and hoped she hadn’t noticed. She had her hair wrapped up in some brightly colored bandanna. Her eyes were wide and sparkling and totally adorable behind the goggles and mask. The three of them had gotten into a miniature water fight washing down the cart, and it was the most playful he’d been in what...months? Years?

  He was covered in dust, his shoulders ached, he’d cheated himself out of too much sleep to get this all done for tonight...and he didn’t care. The sense of feeling useful again, of putting something right in the world instead of being a walking source of wrong, felt like new air in his lungs.

  He could stay here all day. Near her, near Zack, reveling in the feelings that showed up in a chest that had been cold and empty for so long. He was starting to entertain ideas that defied Molly’s request for distance. Reluctantly, he wiped the dust off his watch and pulled off the mask. “We ought to call it a day, don’t you think?”

  “Aww...” The look of disappointment that crossed Zack’s face tucked itself away in a corner of Sawyer’s heart.

  Molly pulled off the gear and her bandanna. Her hair was still wet where Zack had gotten her with the hose, and it hung in delicate little ringlets around her cheeks and temples. She gave Zack a motherly look. “You definitely need a shower before bed. Maybe two.”

  “Maybe you can just hose him down in the driveway,” Sawyer teased. Teasing? Now he was teasing?

  “Noooo!” Zack yelped even as he grinned. He set down his mask and goggles, mussing his hair with both hands so that i
t stuck up in all directions. Adorable wasn’t a word that came to his mind often, but it had stuck in his thoughts most of the night.

  “Are you coming back tomorrow?” Zack asked eagerly.

  “I’ll come by after church if it’s okay with your mom,” Sawyer said. Molly’s earlier conversation had warned him he needed to be careful about overstepping.

  She nodded. “Our hippo’s on a deadline.”

  She’d said our. Sawyer had to admit he liked that word a lot.

  Chapter Ten

  A grown man should not feel this way.

  The week had flown by and it was festival day. A parade of carts was about to start down Main Street. Sawyer was grinning like a fool and practically fidgety with anticipation.

  Him. Fidgety with anticipation. Sawyer had stopped trying to explain the new version of himself showing up over the past week. Time with Molly and Zack had changed him. In ways he was nowhere near ready to admit or even welcome.

  Sawyer lost any hope of controlling the ridiculous surge of pride that overtook him as he watched Molly maneuver the golf-cart hippo into line at the top of Main Street. Nor could he tamp down the glow under his ribs at Zack’s mile-wide grin as he sat beside Molly in the cart. Or the elation at Molly’s delighted face, knowing he had helped to put that joy there.

  Wyatt Walker walked up beside him and gave an appreciative nod. “Outstanding job there, Bradshaw. I think Zack will take first prize.”

  Sawyer hadn’t dared to hope for that. “Molly’s just happy he actually took part.”

  “I didn’t do half as well with the girls’ bikes.” He gestured to the wildly swaying heads of two flamingos somehow built on the bicycles of his twin stepdaughters.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Pretty clever stuff there.” The girls were wearing pink sweat suits with some sort of black paper cone fitted like a curved flamingo beak to the front of their pink bicycle helmets.

  Wyatt shook his head. “You’re showing me up, and I’m supposed to be the Carousel Man.”