Thursday Afternoons

by Tracey Richardson

Amy tightens her grip around her glass. It’s the only thing she can think to do to keep from bursting into tears.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The smell of coffee, real coffee, greets Ellis before she hears the knock on her office door, which is open a crack. She doesn’t care who’s there. With coffee smelling that divine, she’s willing to invite in the Grim Reaper himself.

  “Come in, whoever you are, as long as that manna from heaven is for me.”

  It’s Amy, a cardboard cup in each hand. Coffee forgotten, Ellis smiles and peels off her glasses. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” She keeps her voice low in case anyone else is wandering the hall. She hasn’t seen Amy alone in days, and it’s like Christmas and her birthday all rolled into one.

  “Thought you might like a real coffee. It’s from the café down the street.”

  Ellis gratefully accepts her cup, her fingers intentionally brushing Amy’s, and the brief contact is almost like sticking her finger into an electrical socket. Amy gently nudges the door shut behind her, then perches on the window ledge a few feet from Ellis’s desk. Sitting there sipping her coffee like that, she reminds Ellis of a cowgirl, minus the hat and the blade of grass hanging from her mouth. She’s cocky yet humble, gorgeous yet accessible.

  “Mmm,” Ellis says as she savors her first sip of coffee. It’s the good stuff, arabica beans with a hint of cinnamon. “Thank you, this is delicious. But first things first.”

  “Yes?” Amy’s voice is low and sexy, and a swoop of her hair falls rebelliously over her forehead, kissing her eyebrow. The definition of muscles in her shoulders and thighs can be plainly seen through the thin cotton of her scrubs, and it occurs to Ellis that Amy’s totally clueless about how sexy she truly is.

  Amy Spencer, what am I going to do with you? Well, she has a few ideas, and can’t dismiss the little fantasy of kneeling before Amy right now and making her a very happy woman. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are in scrubs?”

  “What, these old things?” Her grin is playful, teasing.

  “Yes, those old things. But you’d look hot in anything.”

  “Says the woman who’s itching for a booty call?”

  “Guilty as charged. And how are you managing this little exercise in carnal deprivation?”

  Amy’s grin disappears. “Not so well.” She hops off the window ledge, setting her coffee aside, and places her arms on either side of Ellis’s chair, her face inches away from Ellis’s. Oh, such sweet torture. And such sweet surrender. They kiss, and Ellis closes her eyes, luxuriating in those impossibly soft lips and the promise they hold. While it’s a promise they can’t act on, it’s there, and Ellis is instantly reassured that Amy wants her every bit as much as she always has.

  “Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” Amy says, chasing her words with a small growl from deep in her throat. “God, you look and smell so good. Remind me why we agreed to this celibacy thing again?”

  “Oh, you know.” Ellis points to her laptop. “Something about our jobs, I believe.”

  “Oh. Right.” Amy expels an exasperated sigh and goes back to the window ledge. “How many more months? Or can we measure it in weeks now?”

  Ellis softly shakes her head. “Don’t.”

  “I can’t help it. I hate this. I want to be with you.” She’s keeping her voice low, but Ellis glances at the door, which does not have a lock.

  “I know, believe me.” Her voice cracks. She needs to keep it together. “Anyway, I assume you’re here on some kind of pretense? Other than bringing me this delicious coffee.”

  “I am. I finally got my parents to agree to have someone come every week for housecleaning. Also a meal service that will bring them a hot meal five days a week. My mom has even given me permission to have someone stop in for an afternoon a week to help with the odd chore, like laundry or lawn raking or just to keep them company if they need it.”

  “That’s great.” Amy has mentioned that her father has dementia that’s been progressing and her mother has arthritis, but that they’re resistant to giving up their own home in favor of assisted living.

  “Trust me, this is a major victory. The thing is…I’m wondering about approaching Mia to do the weekly afternoon thing. And what you think of the idea.”

  “Wow.” Good for Mia that Amy trusts her enough to ask her to help out her parents. “I’m so glad you think Mia is up to a task like that.”

  “She is. But I wanted to get your take on it before I ask her. I’d pay her twenty-five dollars an hour.”

  “I’m sure she’d love it. But the thing is, she’s only with me another month.”

  “What? I thought she was, I don’t know, sort of yours now.”

  “No. Her grandparents in Windsor have legal custody of her. She’s supposed to resume living with them as soon as school starts the second week in September.”

  “Crap.”

  “I’m sure she can help out your folks until she has to leave, though.”

  “Sure. That’d be great. But Ellis, if I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?”

  “Of course.”

  “What’s going to happen to her when she moves back there? I know she got into some trouble back in June, but she seems to be doing so well here. I don’t want to see—”

  “I know, I don’t want to either.” Ellis has lain awake at night worrying about what’s going to become of Mia when she has to return to the city. “And you’re right, she’s a different person since she came to live here with me. I know it’s a vulnerable age, an impressionable age, but I have no legal claim on her.”

  The fact that Amy cares about Mia touches Ellis. Amy is a good woman: strong, caring, moral, patient. She rates much higher on the good-person scale than Ellis does, and Ellis vows to herself as she falls into the grey oceans of Amy’s eyes that she’ll do better, that she’ll be a better person. She doesn’t simply want Amy; she wants to deserve Amy.

  “I’ll talk to Mia about what she wants to do when school starts. It ultimately comes down to her grandparents, but I don’t want that kid to fall through the cracks either. She’s come too far for that to happen. I won’t let it happen.”

  “Good. Should I ask her about working for my parents?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “And…if I can help with the other. I mean, if my recommendation, or vouching for her or whatever, would help with her grandparents or with her probation officer, please let me know.”

  “I will. Thank you, Amy.”

  Amy hops off the window ledge, zero enthusiasm in her body language as she says, “I guess I better go. Wouldn’t want to kick the rumor mill into high gear for being in here too long.”

  Ellis walks her to the door. “Hey, what about, I don’t know, going for a drive after dark one evening, out to the lake or someplace…private.” Ellis hasn’t had a make-out session in a car since she was a teenager, and she swears it’s the best idea she’s had in months. Maybe years.

  There’s a massive twinkle in Amy’s eyes when she says, “You’re not just a pretty face, do you know that?”

  “Um, yeah, I kind of did know that.”

  “Good. What about this Saturday night? I’m going to be at Kate’s for a little barbecue with her and Erin, but I won’t be there more than two or three hours.”

  Ellis bites the inside of her cheek to keep from giving anything away. Kate’s hosting a surprise fortieth birthday party for Amy, and she and Mia have been invited. “All right. I’m already looking forward to that late night car ride.”

  Before she slips out the door, Amy gives her a look that feels like a caress.

  * * *

  Amy tightens her hold on the two bottles of wine—one red, one white—as she rings Kate’s doorbell again. Where the hell is she?

  Kate finally appears from along the side of the house. “Hey, buddy, come on around to the back.”

  “All right.” She follows her friend around the side of the house, where she swears she can hear whispers and
shushing noises. “Everything all right?”

  “Of course. I’ll take the wine from you and put it in the house,” Kate says, accepting the bottles, “while you go hang out on the patio.”

  By the time they enter the backyard through the gate, a chorus of voices yell out, “Happy birthday, Amy!”

  There are more than a dozen people gathered, and they’re all grinning, all looking at her expectantly. Her parents are even here, along with her elusive sister, Natalie. So is Mia and…Ellis. Oh, no. How are they going to pretend in front of all of these people? Amy is a planet and Ellis is the sun, and all she wants to do is be next to her. They’ll have to behave toward one another exactly as they do at the hospital these days, polite but not too friendly. “Are you serious? A surprise party?” she says to Kate in a scolding tone, but she’s not upset. It’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for her in a long time.

  “Well, it is your fortieth, after all.”

  “Can you say that a little louder?” she teases. It doesn’t bother her that she’s forty, because it means she’s now officially entered the prime of her career. A recent study concluded that the best surgeons are in their forties and early fifties because they’re still at their physical and mental peak and have accumulated a suitable amount of experience to accompany their training, which remains relevant and fresh.

  Amy dutifully goes around the patio and greets everyone. She hugs and kisses her parents and congratulates them on not letting the cat out of the bag when she was at their house a few days ago. She hugs Natalie, inquires after her husband and kids. She fist bumps Mia, and when she gets to Ellis, she can barely breathe. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and she looks incredibly youthful in bright yellow, knee-length shorts and a white cotton shirt that’s short-sleeved but with peek-a-boo shoulders and a low neckline.

  “Hello, Ellis. Thanks for coming.” They shake hands, and Amy prays that they look neither awkward together nor too familiar. It’s a fine line that she’s not sure she’ll handle deftly.

  “My pleasure. Happy birthday.” Ellis’s eyes sparkle, giving voice to a hundred things that her mouth can’t. Amy gives her hand an extra squeeze, fights the urge to run her thumb along Ellis’s palm and up to her wrist. Torture. Sweet torture, touching but not touching.

  There’s a smattering of coworkers to greet, plus Erin, who’s glued to two other women, one of whom looks exactly like her. Ah, the twin sister. At last.

  “You must be Ellie,” Amy says to the woman who’s so clearly Erin’s identical twin.

  Ellie laughs, and instead of shaking Amy’s hand, she wraps her in a big hug. “My sister idolizes you, which makes me an automatic fan too. You know, since we share the same brain and all.”

  “I highly doubt that,” Amy says. “Your sister thinks you’re pretty fantastic, in case she’s forgotten to tell you lately. She talks about you a lot.”

  Ellie beams and clutches the hand of the woman next to her. That’s when Amy notices the small tummy bulge Ellie is sporting. “Amy, this is my wife, Claire.”

  “Hi, Claire.” Amy shakes the woman’s hand, taking note of the fact that Claire is quite a bit older than Ellie, something Erin failed to mention. Probably because nobody cares, including Amy. “It’s nice to meet you. And thanks for coming.”

  “Thank you for letting a stranger help you enjoy your special day. Erin has been talking nonstop about you, so you really don’t feel like a stranger at all.”

  “Thanks, Claire. I’m glad you could come.”

  Eliana appears from behind her mother, then points to her aunt’s stomach. “Aunt Ellie’s having a baby. I’m going to be a big cousin!”

  Amy scoops the little girl up in her arms. “I see that. Tell me, Eliana, are you hoping for a boy cousin or a girl cousin?”

  “A girl! Girls are more fun than boys.”

  That draws a huge wave of laughter. “Can’t disagree with you there, kid.” Amy sets her down next to her mother, congratulates Ellie and Claire, and urges them to make themselves at home. “Be sure to save room for cake.”

  “Amy,” Kate says. “Come into the kitchen with me and help me with the salads?”

  “Sheesh, does the birthday girl have to do everything around here?”

  “She does.” Kate goes up on her toes to whisper into Amy’s ear. “Especially when I need to talk to my best friend.”

  “Your wish is my command. Lead on, then.”

  On the counter, Kate sets down the bottles of wine Amy brought. “Grab yourself a glass, kiddo. And don’t pour lightly. It’s your birthday. You can walk home if you need to. Or catch a ride with somebody.”

  Amy does as she’s told and pours herself a glass of red. “Or crash on your couch?”

  Kate’s cheeks are suddenly bright red.

  “Um…oh, unless you’re entertaining an overnight guest tonight?”

  “I am. I think. Mia and Ellis are taking Eliana to their house tonight for a sleepover so Erin and I… Oh Christ, Amy, what the fuck am I doing?”

  “Well, I’d say you’re getting lai—”

  “Stop!” Kate swats at her. “I’m serious.”

  “So am I. It’s about time, Hendy. It’s called living your life, and Erin’s a wonderful woman. I’m so pleased. I think it’s awesome. You two seem perfect for one another.”

  “But I feel…”

  “Don’t. Don’t feel anything except happiness, okay? Or you’re going to blow this chance. Look, it’s going to feel weird whether this happens now or a year from now or ten years from now. Accept it. And understand that it won’t feel so weird the second time. Or the third time, or the fourth time.”

  Kate busies herself removing large, plastic covered bowls of various salads from the fridge, while Amy retrieves spoons and salad tongs from a drawer. When she looks at Kate again and her busy hands, she notices something missing.

  “Holy shit, you’ve put your wedding ring away. Oh, Kate. That’s a huge step for you, but I’m so happy you’re moving forward. Are you okay?”

  “Do I look like I’m okay?”

  “No, but you do look happy. The okay part will follow, trust me.”

  “I don’t know, hon. It’s all so new and so…weird.” She reflexively touches the part on her finger where her ring used to reside. Amy can imagine it feels like when your tongue keeps searching for a missing tooth, finding only the gap.

  “Answer me one thing,” Amy says. “Does Erin make you happy?”

  Kate stops what she’s doing. Grins. “Yes. She does.”

  “Well, look at you.”

  “What?”

  “You’re in love. And I couldn’t be happier for you.” Amy gives her friend a quick hug, feeling Kate’s shoulders relax against her.

  “Thanks,” she says, “for talking me off the ledge.”

  “No problem. But as payment, I expect to hear all about it tomorrow.”

  “Ha, you wish. What about you? I don’t like you being lonely.”

  “Who says I’m lonely?”

  “Come on, cut out the ‘I’m happier on my own’ crap. You’re talking to a pro here who wore out that line a long time ago. And for the record, your dry spell is a hell of a lot longer than mine.”

  Hmm, not exactly. But to Kate, she puts on her single-for-life act. “I’m too busy to get involved with anyone right now. I’m covering for Atkinson, remember? And this review is hanging over all our heads. I’d be miserable company for anybody else.” Not exactly lying.

  “Not buying it,” Kate murmurs, barely above a whisper.

  “What?”

  Kate glances out the kitchen window to where everyone is mingling on the patio. “Do you know who would be absolutely perfect for you? You even look good together. And I swear there were sparks coming off the two of you out there.”

  Oh, God, don’t say it, don’t say it.

  “Ellis Hall.”

  Crap. She said it. Amy has to really work at mustering up a look of incredulity. She brushes her sweaty palms agains
t her shorts, pretending she’s picking off lint.

  “I’m serious. And she’s not nearly the big meanie I thought she was. She’s terrific with Eliana. Mia too. I mean, it’s obvious she really cares about that girl, even though they’ve had their issues. Mia told me a bit about their background together, and I’m impressed Ellis is stepping up to the plate, you know?”

  Amy clams up, afraid she’ll put her foot in her mouth and give everything away. Afraid too that even without speaking, Kate will figure everything out in about two more minutes. Either way she’s a dead woman. “Hey, how about I start taking these salads out? People look like they’re about to start eating their arms. And besides, you don’t want everyone staying all evening.”

  Kate looks aghast. “Shit, you’re right. Let’s get these people eating, now!”

  Amy laughs. “They’ll eat so fast, they’ll get indigestion.”

  Kate points to a giant bottle of Tums on the counter. “Got it covered, buddy.”

  Ellis isn’t surprised by how attentive Amy is with her parents. She pulls out chairs for them, dishes up food and takes it to them, makes sure they’re comfortable. Her eyes rarely leave them. Except for when they find Ellis. And then Ellis feels the most pleasant of aches in her throat. Even when her back is to Amy, she can feel when her eyes land on her. Is this, she wonders, how it feels to be in love? To be so perfectly in sync with someone else, that you know exactly when they’re looking at you? Or what they’re going to say? Wait, she silently commands herself. It’s way too soon to be thinking about love. They’re so far from being able to have a public relationship, a real relationship, it’s not funny. And what if they truly end up on opposite sides of this hospital review? What if Amy can’t abide by any of her recommendations and, worse, takes it personally? What if Amy hates her by the end of all this? That, she reminds herself, is why she needs to emotionally protect herself. At least a little.

  “Ellis?” Amy has snuck up behind her, her mere proximity setting off a wave of goose bumps along Ellis’s arms.

  “Yes?” Ellis turns and is looking at not only Amy, but at Mia and Amy’s parents, and Amy’s sister Natalie. She feels the tug of emptiness at having no family of her own, but only a little, because she’d rather smile at what’s before her. She supposes these people could be her family—someday—if she so chooses. And if they let her. But she’s getting way ahead of herself.