Stone of Tears

by Terry Goodkind

  "Why? If a rabbit jumped out of a bush, you could just burn it to ashes with your Han."

  She giggled. "I'd still be frightened. I like the city better." She pulled some hair back from her face and looked at him as they walked. She had a funny way of wrinkling her nose. "Did you have a... well, you know, a girl, a love, or anything?"

  Richard was taken by surprise at the question. His mouth opened, but no words came out. He snapped it closed. He was not about to discuss Kahlan with her.

  "I have a wife."

  Pasha missed a step. She hurried to catch back up. "A wife!" She considered a moment. Her voice now had an edge to it. "What is her name?"

  Richard kept his eyes straight ahead as he walked. "Her name is Du Chaillu."

  Pasha twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "Is she pretty? What does she look like?"

  "Yes, she is pretty. She has thick black hair, a little longer than yours. She has attractive breasts, and the rest of her is shapely, too."

  From the corner of his eye he could see Pasha's face glowing red. She picked at the end of the strand of hair. Her voice came quiet and cold, despite trying to layer indifference over it."How long have you known her?"

  "A few days."

  Her hand fell away from her hair. "What do you mean, a few days? How could you only know her a few days?"

  "When Sister Verna and I went to the Majendie land, a few days ago, they had her chained up. They were going to sacrifice her to their spirits, and they wanted me to do the killing. Sister Verna said I was to do as the Majendie wished, so we could pass through their land.

  "Instead, I disobeyed Sister Verna, and shot an arrow at their Queen Mother, pinning her arm to a pole. I told them that if they didn't let Du Chaillu go, and make peace with the Baka Ban Mana, I would put the next arrow through the Queen Mother's head. They wisely agreed."

  "She is one of the savages?"

  "She is Baka Ban Mana. A wise woman. She is not a savage."

  "And she wed you because you were her hero? Because you rescued her?"

  "No. Sister Verna and I had to go through her land, to come here. When we were there, I killed her five husbands."

  Pasha snatched him by the arm. "They are blade masters! You managed to kill five of them?"

  Richard started walking again. "No, I killed thirty of them." Pasha gasped. "Her five husbands were among the thirty. Du Chaillu is their spirit woman, and said I was now the leader of her people. She said that since she was the spirit woman, and I their leader, their Caharin, I was now her husband."

  Pasha's smile crept back. "Then you are not really her husband. She was just telling you some of her savage... some of her Baka Ban Mana spirit babble."

  Richard didn't say anything. Pasha's smile evaporated. Her scowl returned. "Then how do you know what her breasts, and the rest of her, looks like?" She looked the other way and gave a sniff. "I suppose she rewarded you for your valor."

  "I know because when they sent me in to kill her, she had a collar around her neck and she was chained to a wall. She was held naked in that collar so that men could rape her whenever they wanted." Pasha swallowed and looked away again. "She is with child, now, by one of those men. I guess that because the people to be sacrificed are held in a collar, the Sisters never gave a thought to putting a stop to it. I don't guess the Sisters care much what happens to someone in a collar."

  "The Sisters care," Pasha said in a small voice.

  Richard didn't argue. He walked on in silence. Pasha looked cold as she folded her arms beneath her breasts. The sky was turning a deep purple, but it was not getting cold; it was still warm.

  After a time, Pasha's step regained a bit of its bounce. She glanced over, the smile back.

  "So, what about you? You have the gift. Did your father have the gift, too? Is that where it was passed down from?"

  Richard's mood sank like a rock in a well. "Yes, my father had the gift."

  She looked up hopefully. "Is he still living?"

  "No. He was killed a short time ago."

  Pasha smoothed the front of her skirt. "Oh. I'm sorry, Richard."

  Richard's hand tightened on the reins. "I'm not. I'm the one who killed him."

  She froze. "You killed your father? Your own father?"

  Richard's glare locked on to her. "He had me captured, and put in a collar to be tortured. I killed the beautiful young woman who held the leash to that collar, and then I killed him."

  She had no trouble mistaking the threat in his voice, his words, or his eyes.

  Her lower lip began to quiver, and then Pasha burst into tears, turned, and ran. Holding her skirts up in her fists, she went around an outcropping of rock and ran off over the edge of the hill.

  Richard let out a long sigh as he tied the reins to a slab of granite. He patted Bonnie's neck.

  "Be a good girl. Wait here for me."

  He found Pasha sitting on a rock with her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried. Richard came around to face her, but she turned her face away. Her shoulders shook as she gasped in racking sobs.

  "Go away!" She put her forehead against her knees as she wailed. "Or did you come to slice me to bits?"

  "Pasha—"

  "All you care about is killing people!"

  "That's not true. I want nothing more than to end the killing."

  "Oh sure," she cried, "that's why you speak of nothing else!"

  "That's only because—"

  "I've been praying for this day nearly my whole life! All I ever wanted was to be a Sister of the Light. The Sisters help people. I wanted to be one of them!" She succumbed to her tears. "I'm never going to be a Sister, now."

  "Sure you will."

  "Not according to you! From what you keep telling us, you intend to kill us all! From the first moment, all you have done is threaten us!"

  "Pasha, you don't understand."

  Her tear stained face came up. "Don't I? We had a big banquet to make you feel welcome, bigger even than the harvest banquet. I had to go without you and tell everyone you were ill. They all stared at me! The other novices get boys who want to learn. My friends have come to me before, complaining that their young charge brought them a frog or a bug in his pocket. You bring me a mriswith!

  "Sister Maren said we did well today. She hardly ever says that. It's not something she does unless she really means it.

  "You were cruel to Sister Maren. She has been headmistress of the novices ever since I came here. She is strict, but that's because she cares about us. She watches out for us."

  Pasha gasped back a sob. "When I was little, the first day I came to the Palace, I was scared. I had never been away from home. Sister Maren drew a little picture for me. She told me it was a picture of the Creator. She put it on my pillow and told me He would watch over me in the night, so I would be safe."

  Pasha tried to stifle the tears, but couldn't. "I've always kept that picture. I wanted to give it to my boy on his first night, so he wouldn't be afraid. I had it with me yesterday. When I saw you, saw that you were grown, I knew I couldn't give it to you. I didn't want to embarrass you.

  "And when I saw you, I thought, well Pasha, he's not a young boy, like all the other novices get, but the Creator has given me the handsomest man I ever saw. I was so glad I had on my prettiest dress, the one I had been saving for that day." She gasped for air. "And then you tell me I'm ugly!"

  Richard's eyes slid closed. "Pasha, I'm sorry."

  "No you're not!" she cried. "You nothing but a big brute! We had everything prepared for you. We gave you one of the nicest rooms in the Palace. You didn't care. We provided you with money for whatever you might need or want, and you act as if we insulted you. We had fine new clothes for you, and you turn your nose up at them!"

  She wiped her tears, but more replaced them. "I'd be the first to admit that there are some Sisters who think too much of themselves, but most are so kind they wouldn't even step on a bug. And you hold up a bloody sword in front of them and vow to kill them!
"

  She held up fists full of her skirt and covered her face as she convulsed in sobs. Richard put a hand on her shoulder but she pushed it away.

  Richard didn't know what to do with his hands. "Pasha, I'm sorry. I know it must seem like—"

  "No you're not! You're not sorry at all! You want the Rada'Han off, but that's what my job is, to teach you to use your gift so you can get the collar off. But you won't let me! Without the collar, you would have died.

  "Two Sisters have given their lives for you. They will never come home to their friends. Those friends wept in secret, and put on a smile to welcome you. In return for trying to help you, trying to save your life, you threaten to kill us all!"

  Richard put a gentle hand to her head. "Pasha..."

  "I'm never going to be a Sister. Instead of getting a boy who wants to learn, I get a madman with a sword. I will forever be the object of laughter at the Palace. Young girls will be told to behave themselves or they will end up like Pasha Maes, and be put out like she was. My dreams have come to ruin."

  It hurt him to see her sobbing in such pain and sorrow. Richard took her up in his arms. She fought him at first, trying to push him away, but when he pulled her against him and put her head to his shoulder, she went limp and cried all the harder. Richard held her tight and rubbed her back as she trembled and cried. He rocked her gently in his arms.

  "I only wanted to help you, Richard," she sobbed. "I only wanted to teach you."

  He hushed her. "I know. I know. It will be all right."

  She shook her head against his shoulder. "No it won't."

  "Yes it will. You'll see."

  Finally, her hands came up, clutching his shirt as she cried. Richard didn't try to stop her tears, he simply held her, trying to give her comfort.

  "Do you really think that you could teach me to use the gift, and that then the Sisters would take the collar off?"

  She sniffled. "That is my job. That is what I have been training for. I wanted so much to show you the beauty of the Creator, of his gift to you. That is all I wanted."

  Her arms circled him. She clung to him, as if trying to soak up succor. He stroked her hair.

  "Richard, when I touched you yesterday, when I touched your Rada'Han, and felt something of your Han, I felt some of your feelings. I know you hurt inside. It made me hurt just to feel a little of it."

  Her hand came up to the side of his neck, as if to comfort him. "I don't know of many things that can cause that much hurt. Richard, I'm not asking to take her place."

  Richard's eyes closed as his head sank down on her shoulder. He swallowed back the pain. She ran her fingers through his hair and held his head to her.

  After a time, he found his voice. "Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to occasionally wear one of those outfits."

  She pushed away a little, looking up through her tears. "Maybe just to the dining room, with the Sisters?"

  He shrugged. "That would be a good use of them, I guess. You pick one you would like me to wear. I don't know anything about fancy clothes." He managed a small smile. "I'm just a woods guide."

  Her face brightened. "You would look handsome in the red coat."

  Richard winced. "The red one? Does it have to be the red one?"

  She ran her finger down the Agiel hanging from his neck. "No, it doesn't have to be that one. I just thought it would look good on your broad shoulders."

  Richard sighed. "I will feel foolish in any. It might as well be the red."

  "You will not look foolish; you will look handsome." Pasha grinned. "You'll see. All the women will be batting their lashes at you." She lifted the Agiel. "Richard, what is this?"

  "Just sort of a good luck charm. You ready to go back? I think you need to get started teaching me. The sooner you start, the sooner I get this collar off. Then we'll both be happy; you will be a Sister, and I will be free."

  He put his arm around her shoulders and she put hers around his waist as they walked back for Bonnie.

  53

  On the bridge to Halsband island, in a pool of light under a lamp, a crowd of boys and young men mobbed them. Many were dressed in fine clothes, some wore robes, and each had a Rada'Han around his neck. They all excitedly asked questions at the same time, wanting to know if it was true that Richard had killed a mriswith, and what it looked like. They wanted to tell Richard their names, and clamored for him to draw his sword and show them how he had vanquished the legendary monster.

  Pasha spoke to the most persistent boy at her hip. "Yes, Kipp, it's true that Richard killed a mriswith. Sister Maren is studying it now, and if she deems it appropriate, she will tell you of its nature. But I can tell you true that it is a fearsome looking beast. Now, off with you all. It's nearly dinner time."

  Despite their disappointment that no more information was forthcoming, they were excited by what they had heard. They ran off in a bunch to tell others.

  After leaving Bonnie at the stables, Richard walked with Pasha down halls and through vast chambers, trying to memorize the layout. She pointed out the boys dining halls, and the dining hall where the Sisters and some of the older young men ate. She also took him past the kitchens, where the aromas of cooking wafted through the surrounding corridors.

  Pasha pointed through a lattice-covered archway to a graceful stone wall running under the spreading branches of trees. The wall was veiled in places by vines. Large white flowers dotted the green.

  "That is the Prelate's offices, and quarters," Pasha said.

  "Will she be at dinner tonight?"

  Pasha giggled softly. "No, of course not. The Prelate does not have time to have dinner with us."

  Richard turned out of the hall and down a walkway toward a gate in the wall.

  "Richard! What are you doing? Where are you going?"

  "I want to meet the Prelate."

  "You can't simply go visit her!"

  "Why?"

  She hurried along beside him. "Well, she is a busy woman. She can't be bothered. They won't let you see her. The guards won't even let us through the gate."

  He shrugged. "It won't hurt to ask, will it? Then, after, you can pick an outfit for me, and we'll go to have dinner with the Sisters. All right?"

  The offer of letting her pick his outfit gave her pause. Pasha stuttered that she supposed it wouldn't hurt just to ask and struggled to keep up as he marched toward the guard. The guard stepped before the iron gate, spread his feet, and hooked his thumbs on his weapons belt as Richard strode right up to him.

  Richard put a hand to the man's shoulder. "I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Please? I didn't get you in any trouble, did I? I hope not. She hasn't come out to yell at you, yet, I hope."

  The man frowned in confusion as Richard leaned closer. "Look... what's your name?"

  "Swordsman Andellmere. Kevin Andellmere."

  "Look Kevin, she said she would send the guard at the west gate to get me if I was even one minute late. She probably forgot to send you out. It isn't your fault. Look, Kevin, I promise I won't mention your name. I hope you're not angry with me."

  Richard put his back to Pasha and leaned even closer to the guard. "You understand." He rolled his eyes meaningfully toward Pasha and then gave the man a wink. Kevin glanced to Pasha as she fussed with her tangled mat of hair. "Eh? You understand, I'm sure. Look, Kevin, say you'll let me buy you an ale. Will you? I better get in there before I get you in trouble, but before I go, promise me you'll let me buy you an ale, to make it up to you?"

  "Well, I suppose I could let you buy me an ale..."

  Richard clapped Kevin on the shoulder. "There's a good man."

  Pasha was right on Richard's heels as he stormed past the guard and through the gate. He turned and gave Kevin a wave and a smile.

  Pasha leaned close. "How did you do that? No one gets through the Prelate's guards."

  Richard held the door into the building opened for her. "I just gave him too much to think about, and a worry he feared might be true."

  When an answer came
to her knock, they stepped into a dimly lit room with two desks, and two Sisters.

  Pasha curtsied. "Sisters. I am novice Pasha Maes, and this is our new student, Richard Cypher. He was wondering if he might meet the Prelate."

  Both Sisters glowered at her. The one on the right spoke. "The Prelate is busy. Dismissed, novice."

  A little pale, Pasha curtsied again. "Thank you for your time, Sisters."

  Richard gave a little bow. "Yes, thank you, Sisters. Please give the Prelate my kindest regards."

  "I told you she wouldn't see us," Pasha said on the way out.

  Richard hiked his pack up higher on his shoulder. "Well, we gave it our best try. Thanks for indulging me."

  He had known that Pasha had been right, that the Prelate wouldn't see them, but he had seen what he had come to see. He had only been interested in knowing the layout of the building and grounds for future reference.

  Richard hadn't changed his mind about his captivity, but he had decided to try a different approach for a while. He would bide his time, and see what they could teach him. Nothing would please him more than to be released from the collar without having to hurt anyone.

  In the building that housed his room, Gillaume Hall, named after a prophet, Richard had learned, a young man came hesitantly out of the shadows on the lower level, before the wide marble stairs. His head of curly blond hair was cut short at the sides. His hands were stuck into the opposite sleeves of his violet robes. Silver brocade circled the cuffs and neck. He looked smaller than he was because of the way he hunched over.

  His head bowed to Pasha while his blue eyes searched for a safe place to settle. "Blessings on you, Pasha," he said softly. "You look lovely tonight. I pray you are well."

  Pasha squinted in thought. "Warren, isn't it?" His head bobbed, surprised that she knew his name. "I'm fine, Warren. Thank you for asking. This is Richard Cypher."

  Warren gave a sideways look and smiled shyly at Richard. "Yes, I saw you before the Sisters, yesterday."

  "I suppose you, too, want to know about the mriswith," Pasha said with a sigh.