Dogchild

by Kevin Brooks

  I looked at her. She wasnt smiling, but she wasnt dull-eyed anymore either.

  Just a second, I said, going over to Diedles body.

  I stooped down and pulled the knife from his throat, wiped it clean on his shirt and sheathed it, then reached over and picked up his revolver. It was so huge and heavy that I almost decided against taking it, but it was a powerful weapon, and I had a feeling we were going to need as much help as we could get. We might be on the road home, but there was a long way to go just yet.

  I put the Colt in my knapsack, then went over and joined Chola Se at the hole in the wall.

  Okay? I said.

  She nodded.

  After you, I said, indicating the opening.

  She smiled.

  We were one again.

  As we crossed over to the far side of the cavern, I quickly told Chola Se about Pilgrim and Kite.

  Theyre together, I said.

  I thought you said they spilt up? Pilgrim went through one door and Kite —

  No, I mean theyre together---you know, like us---

  You mean theyre mates?

  I nodded. I saw them embracing.

  Are you sure? Pilgrim and Kite?

  I saw them, Chola. Ime sure---

  I hesitated for a moment as an image of a hand reaching out into a cloud of dust flashed into my mind---the fingers of the hand closing, trying to grab hold of the dust, trying to feel it, examine it, trying to see if its real---

  It was real, I muttered.

  What?

  It was real. I saw them together. Pilgrim and Kite.

  Okay, Jeet. I believe you.

  The air above us was just about free of dust now, and as we stopped in front of the wall and looked up, the connecting cables were clearly visible – scores of black cords hanging down from the scores of holes that had been drilled into the rock just below the roof of the cavern.

  Are they long enough? Chola Se said, gazing up at the cascade of cables.

  The cables stretched from just below the roof of the cavern to the ground, and then along the base of the wall to a junction point in the far right corner where they were connected to a series of thicker cables which in turn were connected to the main detonator leads. That meant they were at least 100 feet long, and some of them – the ones farthest away from the junction point – were even longer. And the height of the watchtower, from the turret to the ground, was 90 feet.

  Theyre easily long enough, I said to Chola Se. Its just a matter of whether theyre strong enough on their own to take our weight.

  Theres no point in risking it, is there? she said. We dont want to be climbing down and find out we made a mistake. I think we should double them up, just to make sure.

  I nodded, and we got to work.

  It didnt take us long to tear down 4 cables and remove the bars of TNT, then we took 2 cables each, twined them together, and wound them up into carryable coils. We helped each other hang the coiled cables over our shoulders – wearing them like cumbersome bandoliers – then I turned round, took a moment to get my bearings, and began heading off towards the far corner.

  Its this way, I said to Chola Se. The doors just over there —

  Hold on, Jeet.

  I stopped and looked back. Chola Se hadnt moved.

  What is it? I asked her.

  This isnt going to work.

  What do you mean?

  If youre right about Pilgrim, and hese up in the tower – for whatever reason – weare going to have to get rid of him before we climb down, arent we?

  Yeh, but we can do that. Theres 2 of us —

  What about Kite?

  Shese in the East Tower.

  Thats what I mean. Shele see us, wont she? So even if we manage to take out Pilgrim, all Kite has to do is wait for us to lower the cables and start climbing down, and shele have us at her mercy. We wont stand a chance, Jeet. Shele just shoot us down.

  Not if we shoot her first.

  Chola Se shook her head. Shele take cover in the lower section of the turret and fire at us from a gunport. Wele never be able to hit her once shese in there.

  I didnt know what to say. I knew she was right, and I knew what that meant---and I didnt understand why it seemed to bother me so much.

  One of us needs to go after Kite, Jeet. Its the only way to take her out. One of us goes after Pilgrim, the other one goes after Kite. If we dont get rid of both of them at once wele never get out of here alive.

  But we dont even know if theyre up there, do we? I reminded her. You said so yourself – they could have just used the steps to get out of the cavern.

  If we go after them both and theyre not there, it doesnt matter, does it? We just go ahead and climb down anyway. But if we dont go after them both and they are up there---

  She didnt have to finish the sentence. I still knew she was right. And I still didnt want to accept it. And the reason I didnt want to accept it – I realized now – was that splitting up and going after both of them was exactly what Ide been planning before Ide convinced Chola Se – and myself – that we could still get out of here and make it to the Deathlands---and I hadnt been myself then. Ide been broken, traveling in the wrong direction---Ide been lost. And I thought Ide found myself again and was on the way home. But now---

  I didnt know what I was thinking.

  Chola Se was right.

  And I couldnt work out what that meant for me.

  Youre dog, a voice in my heart said. Stop thinking. Just be.

  I thought at first it was the echo of my own voice – the echo of a recent memory – but I knew now that the voice Ide remembered then had never been mine in the first place. It had come to me as my own, but it was a voice without a voice, thinking without thinking---dog to dog---mother to son---

  My mothers voice.

  She was close enough now for me to feel her in my heart.

  Ile take Pilgrim, I said to Chola Se. You go after Kite.

  What? No, hold on. If weare going to —

  You want Pilgrim dead, dont you?

  Yeh, of course I do.

  Does it matter who kills him?

  Well, no---but —

  So let me do it, okay?

  I looked at her, focusing my force of thought into her heart, letting her see what she already knew but didnt want to admit – that her hatred for Pilgrim was so allconsuming that there was a chance it could affect her judgment – just as it had before in Pilgrims house – and no matter how small that chance might be, it wasnt worth taking the risk.

  All right? I said to her.

  She hesitated a moment, then nodded.

  All that remained of the dustcloud now was a waist-high layer of fine gray mist, and as I waited by the door in the wall, watching Chola Se as she glided through the mist on her way over to the door on the other side of the cavern, I remembered that morning on the beach with Starry – just sitting beside him on the old sea wall in the early-morning silence, gazing out at the sea---the dark yellow haze hanging over the surface in vast crawling clouds---the silvery twinkle of sunlight on his fishing line as it disappeared into the yellowy-brown mist---and I remembered recalling the time when Ide thought Ide seen a tanking ship, way out in the distance, moving slowly across the horizon---

  I made myself forget it.

  Chola Se had reached the door now. I watched her as she stopped in front of it for a moment – and just for a second I wondered if she was having second thoughts – but then she turned to face me and raised her hand, letting me know she was ready. I waved back. She nodded once, then took hold of her shotgun and turned back to the door. I watched her open it and go inside, waited 5 seconds---then another 5---then I drew my knife, opened the door, and stepped through into the darkness.

  The relative brightness of the torchlit cavern had made the darkness beyond the door seem blacker than it actually was, and once my eyes had adapted to the gloom – and the surroundings had gradually become clearer – there was no doubt at all that I was inside the Central Towe
r. It was all so familiar from my Fighter training – the steep stone steps spiraling upwards, the ancient black walls, the taste of the cold dusty air in the back of my throat---Ide seen and felt it all before. But at the same time, I hadnt. Ide never been in this part of the tower before. I didnt even know it existed. And as I raised my head and gazed upwards, I realized that this part of the tower, the underground part, had to be separated from the main part of the tower, and that there had to be a secret entrance to it from above, otherwise – as Chola Se had suggested – I would have known about it. I would have seen these steps every time Ide entered the tower.

  I carried on peering upwards for a while, looking and listening hard. A pale light was burning somewhere up above – just a faint glow of flame in the darkness – but I couldnt see anything else. And the only noise I could hear was the continuing sound of the battle outside. It was clearer now – louder, less muffled, more real – and as I began climbing the steps, I could smell the heat of gunpowder in the air.

  The sound of fighting grew louder and louder the higher I went, and by the time Ide reached ground level I could feel the crash of explosions resonating through the walls. In the flamelight of a torch on the wall – the pale light Ide seen from below – I could see the stone floor of the main part of the tower just a few yards above me, and as I stood on the steps gazing up at it, I saw the secret entrance that Ide realized had to be there. It was a cast-iron drain cover – at least thats what Ide always thought it was. Ide seen it countless times before, from the other side. Ide seen it every time Ide entered the tower, and Ide never given it a second thought. It was just a drain cover – a square slab of cast iron, about 30 inches across, set in the stone floor near the righthand edge.

  The steps led almost all the way up to it. I moved closer – climbing another 3 or 4 steps – until the cover was directly over my head, then I reached up, put both hands flat against the cold hard metal, and pushed. It was heavy – heavier than I expected – but it was hinged, and once Ide got it moving, it wasnt hard to open. I moved up another step, gave it a good hard shove, and the cover swung back on its hinges and slammed heavily into the stone floor with a dull metallic clang.

  As I stepped up and pulled myself through the opening into the main part of the tower, the sound of the battle outside erupted all around me, the air itself shaking with the thunder of violence – gunfire, grenade blasts, screams of agony, the roar of flames, the massive rumble of burning buildings crashing to the ground. The air was thick and hot – a sour metallic heat – and every time I took a breath I could taste the stink of burning flesh and blood---

  I know violence, Ive lived with it all my life. I know it for what it is and why it has to be.

  But this was something else.

  This, I think, was some kind of poison.

  The watchtower door had been bolted shut from the inside, which meant that – unless there was another way out that I didnt know about – Pilgrim was definitely still in the tower. I still didnt understand what he was doing in here, but as I began heading up the steps again – and the rage of the battle began fading away – I wasnt dwelling on reasons. I just wanted to be free now. I didnt want any answers and I didnt want to think. All I wanted to do was go home. Even if that meant dying.

  I kept going.

  Climbing the steps.

  Steadily, quietly---

  When Ide climbed high enough above the sound of the battle to hear the silence of the tower again, I stopped for a minute to listen. At first there was nothing, just the hollow hush of the tower, but then I heard something. It was very faint, coming from high above me, and I could only just hear it. It stopped for a while, then started again, and as I raised my head and cupped my hands to my ears I could just about make it out. It was a soft spitting sound – phht---phht---phht – irregular, intermittent. It would start up, spit once or twice, then stop again and go quiet.

  I didnt know what it was.

  I listened for a while longer, then carried on climbing.

  About 10 steps later, I stopped again. I hadnt heard anything this time – the spitting sound hadnt started up again – Ide stopped because something was bothering me. I didnt know what it was, it was just there – nagging away at the back of my mind---something Ide seen or heard---or maybe thought. I knew it was important, but it just wouldnt come to me. I closed my eyes and opened my mind, trying to let it out---but all that came to me was a sense of darkness.

  I heard another spit then – phht – just once this time, but louder than before, and much clearer. I still couldnt tell what it was though.

  I opened my eyes.

  I was near the top of the tower now. I could tell by the change in the air. It was fresher, cooler, touched with a faint breeze. But even up here it was still tinged with smoke and a surprisingly strong smell of gunpowder. It smelled of humans too – the dead and the dying, the bloody, the killing---

  The living.

  I could smell sweat.

  My sense of smell wasnt as acute as Chola Ses, and I didnt doubt that if she was here shede recognize the scent as Pilgrims. But I didnt have to recognize it to know it was him. It had to be him.

  I leaned to one side and angled my head upwards, trying to see how much farther it was to the turret, but it was impossible to tell. It was too dark up there. The only light Ide seen so far was a torch on the wall about halfway up, and since then the tower had gradually darkened again. All I could see was the spiral of steps disappearing upwards into the gloom.

  I knew the turret was close though.

  Another 20 feet or so, maybe less.

  Just another 20 steps.

  I started climbing again.

  1---2---3---4---5---

  Phht.

  ---6---7---

  Phht-phht.

  ---8---9---10---

  An image of Chola Se floated into my mind. I saw her climbing the steps in the East Tower – padding upwards, just like me---

  ---11---12---

  ---her eyes alert, her nose twitching, the shotgun in her hands---

  ---13---

  ---and then all of a sudden the picture changed and I saw her falling---dropping down through the cold dark air---

  I stopped and shook my head hard – once, twice – emptying my mind.

  I breathed in slowly, breathed out.

  I waited for my heart to stop pounding, then carried on.

  ---14---15---16---

  Phht.

  I froze midstep. The spitting noise was very close now, just a few feet away. I inched up to the next step, leaning forward, staring ahead---

  I saw the opening to the turret.

  5 steps away, a square hole in a stone floor.

  There was no hatch, no door. Just a 3-foot-wide hole. The steps led all the way up to it.

  Pilgrim was in there. I couldnt see him. There was no sign of movement, no more spitting, no sounds at all. But I knew he was there.

  I sheathed my knife, drew the Beretta from my belt, and took another step---

  And another.

  I heard something---a nothing sound---a scuff, a small movement---and as I stopped to listen, something began edging into my mind, the vaguest hint of something dark---something important?

  No.

  I blocked it out, killed it.

  Took another slow silent step.

  And stopped.

  The hole was directly above me now, no more than a foot from my head. As I gazed up through it, I could see part of the upper section of the turret – the perimeter walkway, the battlements – and above the turret I could see a patch of burning black sky, but the angle was too tight to see into the lower section.

  I had no way of knowing if Pilgrim was in the upper or lower section, and the only way to find out without going in was to wait. The problem was, if I stayed where I was and just waited, Pilgrim might see me before I saw him, and if that happened Ide be dead before I knew it. And even if we saw each other at the same time, I wouldnt stand much of a chance.
He held the high ground, he could maneuver – I was just a head in a hole. But then if I didnt wait, if I just went for it – either lunging up through the hole or cautiously inching my head through – I might get my head blown off anyway.

  I couldnt wait.

  I couldnt move---

  I waited---

  I moved.

  Raising my left leg, placing my foot on the final step---gripping the edge of the hole with my left hand---lifting my right arm, bent at the elbow, bringing my gunhand level with my head---I straightened my leg and slowly pushed myself up, edging my head through the hole---

  I saw Pilgrim immediately, just to my right – standing with his back to me, his submachine gun slung over his shoulder, aiming a rifle through the slit of a gunport. He didnt seem to be aware of me. Pulling with my left arm, I inched myself a little higher, at the same time twisting my body round to the right to give myself room to lift my right arm through the hole and level my pistol at Pilgrim. It was just as I was lifting the gun through the hole that I heard Pilgrims voice.

  You should have listened to me, Jeet, he said, without turning his head. I told you youd be sorry if you didnt.

  I heard something behind me then – a sudden quick movement – and the next thing I knew something slammed into the back of my skull and everything went black.

  As I drifted back up into semiconsciousness, I kept seeing the dust-filled cavern again. I saw it as a vast dome of burning black sky with swirling clouds of dustgray stars---I saw it as my own cavernous skull with black tendrils creeping down the bonewhite walls---and I saw it again as Ide seen it through the hole in the wall when Ide been watching Pilgrim and Kite and something had caught the corner of my eye---an unseen movement about 25 yards to the left of them---but when Ide looked over to see what it was thered been nothing there, just a slight swirling in the dustcloud – the echo of a movement – and a momentary flash of darkness that had disappeared as soon as Ide seen it, or thought Ide seen it---

  Ide seen it.

  I knew that now.

  Thats what had been bothering me all the way up the steps – the nagging thought in the back of my mind – that momentary flash of darkness. It had been the door in the wall opening and closing. Someone had gone through the door before Pilgrim. Someone else had been in the cavern, someone else had gone through the door into the tower---and hede been waiting for me in the turret, waiting to slam his rifle butt into my head---