Cowboy State of Mind (Tarnation, Texas Book 4)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “Nothing important. Trust me.”

  “Come on, Adam.” She laid her hand on his arm. “I witnessed how your expression changed just now. You look like you could bite a nail in two.”

  He’d rather not talk about the Preppy, but he had a feeling CC needed assured of something. Was she afraid that the asswipe would reveal something about her? “Your ex said I was a lucky man and I think you’re lucky you’re the hell away from him.” He swiped a hand down his tired jaw. He’d been clenching his teeth all night from controlling his desire for her and the need to knock Rob out. “Enough about the past. Now it’s my turn. Tell me something about you that I wouldn’t know.”

  Her laughter was sweet and melodic. “There are many things, but I’ll share something dark.” She dropped her feet and tucked them up under her bottom on the seat. “I can rap. In fact, when no one is listening, I will rap to the sick animals. In the shower. And definitely while I’m cleaning the house. My audience, the animals, love my singing.”

  “You’re not teasing me, are you?”

  “Of course not. I thought you’d appreciate the talent considering you have a nice singing voice.”

  “Prove it,” he dared.

  “Fine.” Clicking off the radio, she turned to face him. “I need you to be the beat.” She showed him what she wanted, tapping the dashboard with her hands to a rhythm. “Promise me you won’t laugh.”

  “I promise.” He made the popping sounds with his mouth, turning on the beat.

  “Yeah yeah. It’s cowboy time. Cowboy time. Straight and narrow. Big and tall. The cow drops. The cow drops. The cowboy’s there in a hop. Cowboy state of mind. He-He-He’s mine. Adam’s in a cowboy’s state of mind. Oh-oh-oh girls get out of line. It’s my cowboy time.”

  She laughed and did a rendition of a bow. “I know. Cheesy, right? But so much fun.”

  “I liked it. Especially the part “he’s mine’.”

  “I had to make it rhyme. Anyway, Cady and I used to be in the church choir.” She looked at him through the veil of her thick lashes and he found it very alluring. “Oops. I better text her and let her know I left. Otherwise she’ll have the SWAT team finding me.” She reached for her phone, tapped away, then set it aside.

  “Are you two close?”

  “Very, that is when she’s not trying to be a helicopter sister. Are brothers that way also? You know, overbearing?”

  “Hell yeah!” He laughed.

  She plucked at the frayed hem of her skirt, her facial features turning sullen. “You asked me why I don’t ask Rob to father a child—”

  “I shouldn’t have said that.” He felt like a dick. After meeting the man he would have never suggested anything even close.

  “It’s okay. There are many things I haven’t shared. While we were married he had an affair with a college student. I found out, and when he tried to break things off, things got sticky and the girl showed up at our house, telling me how much she loved Rob. He apologized and eventually I forgave him. Then it happened again, but this time the girl got pregnant.” There was a noticeable sadness to her tone that gave Adam a small insight into her heartbreak. “She didn’t have it, but I left him.” She looked through the side window. “When we love someone we want to believe in them, but at some point we need to cut our losses. Rob says he’s changed, but…” She ended her sentence with a shrug.

  “He hasn’t changed, CC,” he growled.

  She turned to look at him. “Is that man tuition?”

  “You can call it that.”

  She sneezed and coughed, then popped up in her seat. “Here. Right here. Stop the truck!”

  He slowed the truck and pulled over alongside the road. “What is it?”

  “I want to show you something.” She was out of the truck before he could shut off the engine.

  “Be careful. You don’t have any shoes on. Hey, where are you going?” He stood in front of the truck watching her cross the road.

  “Just come with me.” Her smile gleamed in the moonlight. “You’ll be happy that you did.”

  Why deny the urge to follow her across the world if she asked?

  He smiled and continued on the same path where she’d disappeared into the semi-darkness. Thankfully the light of the full moon lit the pathway enough that he could see ahead of him. He picked up his speed and burst into a clearing where he found her. “Where are we?”

  Her arms were snugly wrapped around her waist and she was staring out into the night. He came up next to her and looked out onto the view. There were thousands of twinkling lights, both from the town and lightning bugs. “This is lover’s cliff. Rumors say it is both magical and the loneliest place in Tarnation.” She turned to face him, her eyes reflecting the bluish haze of the moon. “Do you believe in magic, Adam?”

  “Are we talking magic tricks or the supernatural?” He glanced around the spot. There was a peacefulness there. The wind rustled the trees, which almost sounded like they were talking. In the distance he could hear the high-pitched barks and yips of a pack of coyotes. A drop of rain smacked his hat. “We should go. We’ll get soaked.”

  She laughed, but it fizzled. “You won’t melt, will you?”

  “You never know.”

  A spell binding softness turned her face angelic. She stood on tiptoe, holding his gaze in the arms of her warm eyes as she leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. Something in him awakened, a feeling that didn’t only reach his body but gripped his heart in a hypnotic cradle. He didn’t know her well, but what he did know she was amazing and deserved more than a husband that didn’t love her. That’s why he needed to tell her… “CC…”

  “Shh. Don’t talk here. Just feel,” she whispered.

  They were so close, within inches, and the mood overpowered his logic. He cupped her cheeks, captivated by her as he kissed her, lightly at first as he tested the waters. She opened to him and he slid his tongue in to taste her. Just as he would have suspected, she tasted like a mixture of heaven and welcome surprise. Tangling his fingers in her hair, the kiss intensified as he explored her, slipping his hand lower to her breast, sliding his thumb over the pert, thick nipple that pressed the layers of her clothing. How he wanted more, needed it, but he couldn’t. Not here.

  He dropped back, breathless. His heart raced, tapping his ribs. He started to say something when she sneezed twice. “Are you getting sick?”

  “No,” she said quickly. “Wait, I do have a headache.”

  Pressing his hand against her forehead she felt warm. It could be related to what they just shared but he wasn’t sure. “Let’s get back to the truck and I’ll take you home.”

  “I guess that’s best.”

  “But you’re not walking.” He didn’t give her the chance to argue. He lifted her into his arms and started toward the path back to the road.

  “You don’t have to carry me.”

  “Yes, I do. You’re not wearing shoes.” Once they reached the truck, he placed her in the passenger seat and dragged the seatbelt over her, clicking it into place.

  By the time they pulled up at the farmhouse she was coughing. He came around to help her inside the house. Ruger greeted them at the door and Adam patted his head. “Good boy.” He looked at CC. “How are you feeling?”

  “A little achy, but I’ll be fine. I need to let Ruger do his business.”

  “I’ll take care of him. I think I can handle it. Why don’t you go take a bath?” He wasn’t sure that’s what a woman wanted to do when she was feeling under the weather, but he remembered that his mom did.

  She looked a little surprised, but she nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”

  He waited until she was in the bathroom and then he hooked Ruger up to the leash he found on the hook by the door and took him outside. The temperature had cooled, and the night was peaceful. “Okay, boy. Let’s make this quick.”

  As if the dog knew exactly what Adam wanted from him, he popped his leg up by a tree, did his business, then ran back to the porc
h. “Good job, Ruger.”

  Inside the warm house, the dog laid back down by the fireplace while Adam started a fire then waited for CC.

  Chapter 8

  SOAKING IN THE water felt nice, but the second she stepped out she felt achy and stuffy. With CKD, she was prone to catch colds because of her vulnerable immune system, but she rarely got sick because she was very proactive in taking care of herself.

  Probably the stress.

  She’d been outside of herself since she’d asked Adam to marry her.

  Sure, she’d withdrawn her offer, but a part of her still wished, maybe even hoped, that he’d change his mind. Obviously, they had a connection. Not a love connection, of course, but they had fun together. She’d never rapped in front of anyone with two legs.

  Drying off, she pulled her hair from the scrunchie and brushed out the damp ends. Dark circles lined her eyes. “Ugh, I am sick.”

  Brushing her teeth and pulling the robe from the back of the door, she dragged it on and went in search of Adam, finding him standing at the stove, stirring a pot.

  “What are you doing?” she asked from the doorway.

  He looked up, smiling. “When my brothers and I were sick as kids my mother would make us chicken noodle soup. I found a can of soup and some sparkling water. Soups up.” He shut off the knob then poured the steaming contents of the pan into a bowl.

  She smiled at his consideration. Rob had never been this attentive. “I thought you’d be gone by the time I came out of the bathroom.” Spotting her pill bottles on the counter, she subtly swept them off into the drawer below. The last thing she needed were questions about her health. She realized that most people didn’t feel comfortable talking about chronic illnesses. They either avoided her or hovered over her. If Adam knew about her condition, he might never decide to marry her. During the time from the bathroom until now, she’d changed her mind again. She wanted to marry him.

  “I couldn’t just leave you alone. Now, why don’t you go relax in bed and let me bring you this on a tray.” He looked around the kitchen. “Tray?”

  “On top of the fridge.”

  “Okay. I got this covered.”

  Trusting that he did, she left him, went upstairs and crawled into bed. She dragged the blankets over her and snuggled her head into the pillow. Moments later, Adam came in carrying the tray and set it on the nightstand. He took a seat next to her hip. “So, this is your bedroom? Nice.”

  “Thank you. And thank you for making this for me.” She sat up against the headboard.

  He reached for the bowl and spooned up some of the soup. “Open.”

  “Adam, I can feed myself.”

  “I didn’t say you couldn’t, but I’m here and I might as well make myself useful. Now open.”

  She sipped the soup. “I bet you never thought you’d be here in my bedroom feeding me soup.” She laughed.

  “I don’t think a man ever suspects he’d be in a woman’s room feeding her.” He winked, spooning more soup.

  “How is it that a man as brawny and tough as you are can be so kind? Sweet.”

  “My ma taught us boys to be gentlemen.”

  “What happened?”

  “She passed away when I was young. My grandparents raised us, and Arc helped a lot. He’s always been a great big brother. You talk about your sister being overprotective, well, he was that way for Ash and me. He gave up a lot to be there for us when we needed help.” He placed the bowl back on the tray.

  “I’d always thought by now I’d have someone there for me besides my sister.” She plucked at a loose thread on the blanket. “Cady tells me I’m stuck in the past, but I think I’m more of a realist.”

  He leaned his elbows on his bent knees. “Don’t allow a man like Rob to ruin the chances of another man with you.”

  Sinking down into the comfort of the bed, she yawned and stretched her arms over her head, feeling the day catching up. “Some lucky girl is going to steal your heart one day, Cowboy.”

  “I hear you.” He stood, reaching for the light.

  “Where are you going?” she whispered.

  “I’m going to shut off the light, then let you get some sleep.”

  “Don’t go, Adam. How can I convince you to stay here, with me?” He shifted from one boot to the other. “Relax. I’m talking only to sleep. Although I sort of fancy the thought of having you naked, I’d hate to make this situation messier.” She smiled.

  Without a word, he toed off his boots, shut off the light and crawled over top of her to the other side of the bed. “Now keep your hands to yourself, young lady.”

  “I’ll try.”

  Now that the light was turned off, sleep eluded her. A feeling settled inside her heart, something powerful and refreshing, like a bear coming out of hibernation.

  CC had done a thing tonight…

  Why had she taken Adam to Lover’s Cliff? Not that she believed the tales and rumors of the magic that happened there, but why chance it? She didn’t want Adam, at least not as a forever husband. There definitely was a sexual desire between them, but what woman could resist a man like him? There was something about him, in the way he looked at her, she could lose herself in his cornflower blue eyes and sweet smile. Remembering how she’d been affected the first time she met him made her smile. She had seen him walking across the yard toward the barn with a few of his brothers. While she had been examining a horse, the Colt brothers had watched from the fence, their eyes on her. She’d glanced across one handsome brother to the other until she found Adam. The heat had turned up in the arena.

  She liked a man of mystery, and Adam owned the corner lot on ambiguity. And he had confidence. But Adam’s confidence was far different than that of Ash’s or Arc’s. Adam came across as quiet, reserved, but he was anything but aloof.

  Next to her, Adam rolled, making the springs pop in the mattress.

  Did he have a hard time sleeping too?

  Turning onto her side, she focused on his silhouette. The bright moonlight filtered in through the window, giving her enough light to see the shadow of his face. His arm was thrown over his eyes.

  Tonight, at the bar, CC had seen Adam walk outside after speaking to Rob, and Betty had followed. What CC didn’t want to acknowledge was the jealousy that had stemmed from that simple act. Betty was a seductive woman with skills in sex appeal. Most men wouldn’t resist her lure. CC had waited, watching, and after only a few minutes Betty had come back inside. Although CC had no idea what had transpired outside, Betty had looked disappointed.

  CC didn’t own him in any way.

  The likelihood that he’d marry someone to save his ranch stuck in her craw.

  With the realization that she wasn’t as skilled as Betty in the ways of seduction, CC believed she could seduce Adam, but that’s not what she wanted. Sure, she wanted him to want her, but if he decided to marry her, he needed to come up with the decision on his own.

  “Are you asleep?” she asked.

  “Mm, no.”

  “What’s your ranch like?”

  “Stillwater Spurs is nice. It’s home.”

  “I bet you miss it a lot.”

  He rolled back over to face her. She couldn’t see his eyes, but she felt the intensity of them on her. “Yeah, a lot.”

  “Why do you think Buzz brought you and your brother’s here?”

  “Like hell if I know.” She heard the mattress springs pop as he shifted his weight.

  She sneezed. “I think his reasons will come out in the long run. Men like Buzz don’t do things on a whim.”

  “Or do they?” he muttered.

  “You’re a Colt and you have to ask that? None of you men do anything without purpose.”

  “Buzz and I are nothing alike.”

  There was a tenseness in his tone that spoke volumes about the adamancy of his words. “Are you a religious man?”

  “I don’t go to church every day, but I’ve been known to visit a time or two.”

  “I’m going
to pray that one day you find forgiveness in your heart. Good night, Cowboy.”

  Chapter 9

  SNAP! SNAP!

  Adam slitted one eye open. Something had awakened him.

  Sunlight streamed in through the window across the room and he opened the other eye. It took a moment for him to realize he wasn’t at home.

  Snap! Snap!

  A hand was in his face. Fingers snapping.

  What the hell?

  The hand moved and through his sleep-fuzzed gaze, he saw Cady standing over him. He started to open his mouth to say something, but she shushed him then pointed to the open bedroom door. Apparently, she wasn’t happy if he read the twisted mouth and narrowed eye expression right.

  Next to him, CC still slept soundly. The robe she’d fallen asleep in had come open, revealing the tops of her breasts in her bra. Quietly—as quiet as a man his size could be—he climbed from bed and stepped out into the hallway. Cady was waiting at the top of the stairs, frowning. “Meet me downstairs,” she whispered.

  After making a quick trip into the bathroom, he made his way downstairs and found her in the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee outstretched. “I thought you might need this.”

  Although Cady and CC were similar in looks, they wore their hair different and carried themselves different too. “Thank you.” He accepted the cup and took a sip. Over the rim, he watched her cross her arms over her chest. “What’s wrong?” He might as well get to the point.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Imagine my surprise when I used my key to get in here and found you in bed with my sister.”

  “She was a little under the weather last night and I stayed just in case she needed anything.”

  “Sick? How?” Cady dropped her arms to her sides, concern washing over her features.

  “Just a cold.”

  She slumped her shoulders and dropped into one of the chairs at the table. “Has my sister told you I suffocate her with my worrying?”

  “No.” Seeing the woman’s narrowed eye, he shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “I’m sure she did.” She looked toward the ceiling as if she could see straight into CC’s bedroom. “I love my sister.”