She licked her lips, and he was powerless to keep his eyes from following the motion of her small tongue as it flicked across her top lip. He almost groaned aloud.
“I don’t suppose you wish to retire to your study now?”
He met her gaze, and reflected in her eyes he could see that she knew very well what he wanted. Relief filled him when he realized that while she might be nervous, he couldn’t detect even a hint of the fear he’d seen the night before.
He pushed back his chair as he rose and held his hand out to her. She hesitated only a moment before placing her hand in his. He pulled her to her feet.
She tried to draw away, but he didn’t release her.
“I’d like to retire now, but not to the study.”
She swallowed and gave a small nod. “I’ll ring for my maid and prepare for… bed.”
He should let her go—it was the civilized, courteous thing to do—but he was incapable of letting her out of his sight. “I don’t think you’ll need her tonight.”
She stared at him, uncomprehending, for several seconds. He could see the moment she realized his meaning when color swept into her cheeks. He released her hand then but held out his arm for her to take. He almost expected her to step away from him, but instead she took a deep breath and placed her hand on his arm.
A heady mixture of relief and desire filled him as he turned toward the door. She didn’t lean against him. Their only point of contact was the touch of her hand, but his body vibrated with tension at her proximity. It seemed almost impossible that this was going to happen. That he’d finally have Sarah in his bed. When he’d first met her a scant few months before after taking up residence at the Hathaway family seat, he wasn’t sure he’d ever see this day. And the fear in her eyes yesterday whenever they were alone together had only increased that doubt.
He was almost afraid to look at her as they made their way upstairs, afraid that if he did, he’d see that her fear had returned. But as long as he restrained himself, giving her time to remember what it had felt like to come apart in his arms, she would be his. He’d never lain with a chaste woman before, but he would be gentle. It might kill him, but he wouldn’t push her until she was prepared to accept him.
He slowed when they reached the door of his bedroom but then moved past it to hers, reasoning that she would feel more comfortable in familiar surroundings. It would also help her to remember the pleasure he had already shown her in that room.
When they reached her door, she took her hand from his arm. He felt the loss keenly and almost snatched it back.
“Alice will wonder why I didn’t ring for her,” she said as she fumbled with the doorknob before finally opening the door.
Afraid she was about to leave him standing in the hallway, he pushed his way into the room behind her. “If she does, I’m sure one of the other servants will explain it to her.”
She blushed, and he found himself aching to see that color spread over her chest again as it had the night before when he’d brought her to her peak. He closed the door before facing her again.
She swallowed, clearly nervous, but he knew he could make those nerves disappear. If there was one thing he’d learned over the years, it was how to please a woman.
“Are you afraid?” He didn’t think she was, but he needed to be certain.
“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
He leaned toward her and spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “Well, since I’ve deprived you of your maid this evening, you can consider me her replacement.”
Taking her cue from him, she surveyed him from head to foot, paying particular attention to his hands before replying. “The buttons on my dress are quite small. I’m not sure you’ll be able to manage them.”
He smiled, relieved that she appeared to be softening to him. “I accept your challenge,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her away from him.
And a challenge it was. Halfway down the long row of buttons, he had to force himself to continue with what were probably the smallest buttons known to man. He tamped down on the temptation to yank apart the rest of the dress and send the buttons scattering.
When he finally reached the end, he spread the material apart and, without a word, began to unlace her corset. Her breathing quickened, and when he dropped a kiss onto her shoulder, he felt the tremor that ran through her body.
“I never imagined being undressed could be quite so stimulating,” she said.
He lowered the dress from her shoulders. “You should feel free to press me into service whenever you’d like.”
He released the dress and watched as it fell to the floor around her. When she stepped out of the pile of fabric, he pulled away her corset and cast it aside.
Like he had the night before, he pulled her body against his—her back to his front—and raised his hands to cover her breasts through her chemise. She released a soft sigh and dropped her head back against his shoulder, enjoying the way he was stroking her. Tearing himself from her side the previous evening had been one of the most difficult things he’d ever had to do, and he was glad he’d restrained himself, but tonight there would be no stopping.
He breathed against the side of her throat and felt another shiver of awareness go through her as he dropped a kiss there, then against her jaw and her cheek.
“Do you want me to continue?” His voice was rough and he knew the question was a gamble. He didn’t think he’d be able to stop—the unspoken signals Sarah was giving him told him that she didn’t want that either—but it was important to him that she realize she was a willing participant in their marriage. Her parents might have compelled her to marry him, but she did want him. Even if that want was only physical, he needed her to acknowledge it.
She made an inarticulate sound, but her eyes were still closed. He stilled his caresses and repeated the question. When she nodded in reply, he hesitated, considering whether he should press her for the words. He decided against it, knowing that he’d already risked too much by giving her the opportunity to say no. But before this night was over, he vowed that she’d have no doubt she craved his touch as much as he did hers.
He turned her to face him. When she gazed up at him, her warm brown eyes were slightly dazed. Lust, hot and swift, stole his voice. He lowered his head, determined to show her that she would not regret placing her trust in him.
He hadn’t kissed her last night, and when she opened her mouth without prodding, he realized he wasn’t the first man to kiss her this way. Jealousy speared through him, but he pushed it aside and dedicated himself to making her forget whoever had gone before him.
His need to take her was so great his hands were almost shaking. He pulled back to remove his tailcoat and tossed it onto a chair. Her eyes were riveted on him as he did so. He might not be conventionally handsome, but women had always appreciated his body. He sincerely hoped his wife would be one of those women. He was not unaccustomed to hard work, and it showed in his physique, but as a gently bred woman Sarah would be used to men who weren’t quite so muscular.
He watched her carefully for any sign of fear as he undid the buttons of his waistcoat. Seeing none, he removed the garment, tossed it on top of his coat, and proceeded to untie his cravat.
Her eyes moved to the exposed skin at his throat before she looked away.
She started to turn, but he wouldn’t let her shy away from him now.
He reached for her hand and stopped her. “Have you changed your mind?”
“No, my lord.” She wet her lips before saying, “No, James.”
He frowned and almost groaned at the gesture. “Then why are you running away?”
She searched for a reply and he waited, knowing it was difficult for her to talk about their intimate life so openly.
“I thought… I was told…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before rushing on. “Isn’t that what happens now? I lie on the bed and you… take
your marital rights.” As she reached the end of her statement, her voice was barely audible.
“I don’t want a martyr, Sarah. I mean to show you that there can be great pleasure between a man and a woman.”
Color bloomed on her skin, extending down beyond the edge of her chemise. It was with great difficulty that he kept his eyes on her face.
“I already know that. But tonight it is your turn.”
“And you think that means you must be brave and suffer my touch while I seek my own pleasure?”
She raised a hand to rub the back of her neck. “I was told that was what to expect.”
“By whom?”
If his wife had had the power to make herself disappear, he could tell she would have done so in that moment.
“My mother.”
He winced as he tried to envision just how such a conversation would go. “I won’t lie, the first time will probably be uncomfortable.” He hoped it would only be that—he hated the idea of hurting her. “But I will do my best to make up for that initial pain.”
She didn’t appear convinced.
“Let’s try this.” Threading his fingers through hers, he led her to the bed.
He sat on the edge and pulled her into his lap. She inhaled deeply but didn’t balk at the intimacy.
“For our first time together, I thought that you might prefer to take the lead.”
Right now his wife was like one of his skittish colts who needed a gentle hand so he could gain its trust. That meant letting her control the pace to an extent.
When he saw her confusion, he had to hold back his smile. His wife truly was an innocent and the thought did nothing to stem his arousal. In fact, the opposite was true.
She was sitting primly on his lap, her body angled away from his. He pulled her closer, and when she settled against him, he nuzzled the side of her neck, inhaling deeply. She smelled of some flower he couldn’t name, but the scent wasn’t overwhelming. He kissed her neck and she melted against him with a soft sigh, gripping his upper arms. He didn’t think it possible to get any harder, but the proof of her desire and the fact that she seemed to trust him made a heady aphrodisiac.
She pulled back and turned her face toward him, initiating a kiss. His heart soared as he allowed her to take her time. It wasn’t long, however, until he was taking control, turning her soft exploration of his mouth into something deeper.
When she tugged his shirt from his trousers and burrowed her hands underneath the hem, he couldn’t hold back his groan of pleasure.
“Am I doing this right?” she murmured against his mouth.
His hands tightened on her waist, and he lifted her to straddle his lap. Her chemise bunched at her hips, and her eyes widened with shock when he pulled her core against his hardness. Barely restraining a curse of impatience, he lifted his shirt up and off before tossing it onto the floor.
Somehow he remained still when she leaned back to look at him. She skimmed her hands up his arms to his shoulders and then trailed them down his chest.
“You’re so hard,” she said with wonder.
“And you”—he cupped her breasts in his hands—“are delightfully soft.”
“I’m a little too soft.”
“For which I am eternally grateful.” He brushed his thumbs across her nipples and watched as they hardened against her chemise. “You’re wearing far too much,” he muttered as he lifted her chemise away. She was now naked in his arms, save for her stockings, and straddling his hips while he wore only his trousers. He wanted nothing more than to strip them off, but they served as a much-needed barrier to help him keep the pace slow.
She made a small sound of dismay, but her protest died when he brought her fully against him. Her breasts pillowing against his bare chest, he took her mouth again. He couldn’t say who initiated the movement, but his hands gripped her hips, and she was rocking against his covered erection, soft mewling sounds coming from the back of her throat.
When she stiffened, he tore his mouth from hers and looked down at her impassioned face. Her eyes were closed, her face flushed, and her mouth rounded in surprise. He held her like that, tight against him, while he struggled not to embarrass himself.
She came to herself slowly, and when she opened her eyes she must have seen how much his restraint was costing him. “Show me what to do for you.”
His voice thick, he managed to say, “Unbutton my trousers and take me out.”
She didn’t hesitate, and his heart beat a heavy rhythm in his chest. When she’d slipped the last button through its housing, she reached past his smalls and touched him. He covered her hand with his, showing her how to hold him, how he liked to be stroked. Knowing he wouldn’t last much longer, he grasped her wrist after several seconds and pulled her hand away.
“Am I doing it wrong?” Her brows were drawn together in concern.
“You’re perfect, but right now I need to be inside you.”
He saw the brief flicker of fear in her eyes before she straightened her shoulders and nodded. He couldn’t stop now—he only hoped this first time wouldn’t be too painful for her.
He rose just enough to pull his trousers and smallclothes down before sitting back on the bed, enjoying the way she gripped his shoulders so he wouldn’t unseat her. When he brought her womanhood against his bare erection, they moaned in unison.
He forced himself to slow down and enjoy the feel of her slick heat against him.
“I had no idea this would feel so good.”
And with those words his hard-won control snapped. He gripped her hips and lifted her so the blunt edge of his manhood pressed against her opening.
“You need to take control,” he managed to grind out.
Her eyes widened, but whatever reservations she’d had were clearly gone. “I don’t know how.”
He closed his eyes, struggling not to move. “Lower yourself onto me.”
When she took her lower lip between her teeth, he hissed out a breath. Brow furled, she started to drop over him. Fortunately, her climax had prepared her body to accept him. After an initial moment of hesitation, she bore down on him and he slid in easily. She stiffened and lowered her head onto his shoulder, and he forced himself not to move.
He trailed his hands up and down her back. “All will be well now. The most difficult part is behind you.”
“You’re so big,” she said, and he groaned.
“When you think you’re ready, rise and then lower yourself onto me again.”
She was still for what felt like an eternity before tentatively lifting herself. He was half afraid she would slide off him completely, but then she reversed and sank onto him. Her breath shuddered out, and he could tell she was surprised that this time there was no pain.
He helped her then, guiding her movements with his hands on her hips while he captured her little sounds of pleasure with his mouth.
He wasn’t going to last long. He pressed a thumb against her, right above where they were joined, and she whimpered. Her movements were almost frantic now, mirroring his own desperation as they both reached for that peak. He reached it first and brought her hard against him. Harder than he’d intended. When she cried out, he feared he’d hurt her, but the telltale shudder of her body as she tightened around him told him otherwise.
He struggled to catch his breath, his relief profound that she had been with him the whole time. He fell onto his back and she followed, draping herself over him.
They lay like that, their bodies still entwined, for several minutes. When he felt himself begin to harden again, he knew he had to return to his own bedroom. Sarah would be too sore to enjoy a second round of lovemaking, and he didn’t trust himself not to press the issue.
Sarah had already fallen asleep, so he shifted slowly, careful not to wake her as he rolled her away from him. Every part of him screamed in protest when he stood, covered her with the blankets, and returned to his room and his cold bed.
Chapter 6
Sarah would
have thought it impossible that a man she barely knew, and for whom she had no romantic feelings, could bring her pleasure in the marriage bed. Yet that is exactly what had happened and she was at a loss to understand why.
After the intimacies they’d shared, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to face James in the morning. She’d been told that her husband would take the lead in consummating their marriage and had thought all she’d have to do was lie back, endure, and pray it would soon be over. She should have realized James Hathaway wouldn’t be content to behave in the expected manner. He had actually allowed her to take charge, and in the heat of passion, she’d done so with great enthusiasm.
He’d unbalanced her so thoroughly that she’d woken several times during the night from heated dreams of James making love to her over and over. So intense were those dreams that she could almost feel the weight of his hands on her. She’d been disappointed when he left her and chided herself for that sentimentality. Had she expected him to stay the whole night? There was a reason, after all, that married couples kept separate bedrooms.
She had to live now with the knowledge that her husband had firmly taken the upper hand in their marriage. She might have been innocent before marrying James Hathaway, but she wasn’t a fool. It was obvious he was very experienced. She was woefully out of her depth and couldn’t hope to have the same hold over her husband that he had gained over her.
It took her longer than normal to dress before venturing downstairs for breakfast, but her nerves instantly calmed when she learned that James had already eaten and gone out to meet with the builders for the new stables he was having constructed. She hated the fact that she was behaving like a coward, but she desperately needed time away from her husband if she hoped to maintain her composure in his presence.
She ate quickly, deciding she would get to know her husband’s family that day. She’d been completely overwhelmed on the day of her wedding, most of her thoughts centering on how she would survive what she’d thought would be the ordeal of her wedding night. She’d concentrated mainly on smiling, trying to appear the happy bride, and hadn’t spoken to James’s mother or sister beyond their formal introductions. That would change today since his family was now hers.
Lord Hathaway's New Bride Page 4