After breakfast, she penned a note informing them that she planned to visit and arranged for a footman to deliver it. It was already midmorning, but she wanted to wait for a reply before descending on them. Perhaps one day they’d grow close enough that such formalities wouldn’t be required, but until that happened she didn’t want to presume on the relationship.
It was a cool morning, so she donned a cloak and sturdy walking shoes before venturing outside to explore the gardens as she waited for the footman to return. They were, of course, as formal and rigid in design as the former viscount. From what she knew of the viscount’s widow, she seemed very friendly, so Sarah could only imagine that she hadn’t been given leave to show any of her personality in either the house’s furnishings or the garden.
As she walked amid the immaculately trimmed hedges, she wondered if she’d be allowed to make any changes. Excitement filled her at the thought. Perhaps James would allow her to curb some of the excesses in the house. The furnishings were unquestionably beautiful, but the formality of the decor made it difficult to feel truly at home.
She was mentally redesigning the drawing room—starting with the removal of the impractical gold settee that seemed designed to be admired rather than used—when the footman returned. Instead of the note she’d expected, the footman informed her that James’s mother would be happy to receive her at any time.
The dower house was only a mile from the manor, a distance she covered quickly on foot. Upon arriving, Sarah was ushered inside and shown into the drawing room where James’s mother and sister were already waiting for her.
She could see immediately why her new mother-in-law preferred to live here rather than stay at the manor house with her son. The house was considerably smaller, but what it lacked in size, it made up for in warmth. Instead of delicate, ornate chairs that looked as though they would collapse under a person’s weight, the furniture was made from deep mahogany and upholstered in rich green fabric. And the walls—she’d only seen the entryway and the drawing room, but there was actual color on the walls. Whereas the manor was furnished to impress visitors with the owner’s wealth, this house was designed to be welcoming and warm. Given the choice, Sarah thought she’d prefer to live here as well.
James’s mother was a petite woman, and it was difficult to believe that her husband had come from such a small person. Given his height and the breadth of his shoulders, she imagined that he took after his father in appearance. Mrs. Hathaway—who asked that Sarah not refer to her as “my lady” or “Lady Hathaway” as it made her uncomfortable, having only earned the title when her son inherited—couldn’t be older than fifty. Gray streaked her dark hair, but she was still a beautiful woman. That beauty was reflected in her daughter, Emily.
Mrs. Hathaway was a quiet woman, but Sarah’s sister-in-law more than made up for her mother’s reserve.
“I’m so happy you decided to visit,” Emily said, linking her arm through Sarah’s and leading her to the overstuffed settee. “I wanted to visit, but Mama said it was too soon. That you and James needed time alone together.”
Sarah’s thoughts immediately went to the things she and her husband had done the previous evening, and she felt the telltale heat of embarrassment color her cheeks. A quick glance at Mrs. Hathaway, who was attempting to hide her amusement, was sufficient to tell her that James’s mother knew exactly what she was thinking.
“I’ve always wanted a sister,” Emily said, oblivious to the knowing look that had passed between the two other women. “It’s dreadfully dull having two older brothers. Though, with Edward gone, I will admit that I miss him. At least we still have James… and it was so kind of you to allow us to live here. I’d hoped to stay in the main house—it’s very grand, is it not?—but Mama wanted to stay here. Not that I don’t like this house. It’s very pretty too.”
Sarah stared at Emily, amused and charmed by her enthusiasm. “Goodness, I can see now why James is a man of few words. After you were born, he probably rarely had the opportunity to speak!”
As soon as the words were out, she feared Emily would take them the wrong way, but the young woman’s breathless laugh told her she was not so easily offended.
Mrs. Hathaway took advantage of the break in Emily’s chatter to speak. “Perhaps you should give Sarah the opportunity to tell us why she is here.”
Emily waved an impatient hand. “Sarah is family now. We needn’t stand on ceremony with her.”
It was clear to Sarah that James’s mother was not yet comfortable in her presence, but the woman couldn’t find a way to repeat her rebuke without appearing impolite.
Sarah rushed to reassure her. “James is overlooking the plans for the construction of the new stables, so I thought today would be a good time for us to become better acquainted.” She turned then to face Emily. “You already know I only have one brother, and I, too, have always longed for a sister. I think we will get on quite well. I suspect you wouldn’t have it any other way,” she said with her own laugh.
“See, Mama? I told you that James had chosen well.”
Mrs. Hathaway shook her head in defeat, but the relaxed slope of her shoulders told Sarah that her words had put the woman at ease.
As they exchanged pleasantries, Sarah found it almost impossible to keep up with Emily’s effusiveness, and she was happy to find that her original hope was proving to be true. Despite the fact that Emily was only sixteen—six years younger than Sarah—it was already clear to her that they would become close. It was impossible not to be captivated by Emily’s guileless charm. Mrs. Hathaway, on the other hand, was harder to draw out, but her initial reticence at the beginning of Sarah’s visit seemed to have disappeared.
The soft chime of the clock over the mantel told her that almost an hour had passed. Content with the way the morning had gone, she stood to take her leave, but not before inviting James’s mother and sister to join them for dinner that evening.
Emily’s eyes lit up at the invitation, and she turned to her mother. “Can we go? Sarah wouldn’t have invited us if she felt we’d be an imposition.”
Mrs. Hathaway turned her eyes skyward for a second before letting out a soft sigh. When she met Sarah’s gaze, however, it was amusement Sarah saw in her eyes.
“Thank you. As Emily has made clear, we would love to join you.”
Emily must have been afraid that any further show of eagerness on her part might cause her mother to change her mind, for she said nothing more about the invitation, but Sarah could see her enthusiasm bubbling just below the surface. Her new sister-in-law might be able to hold still when the need arose, but she couldn’t disguise the excitement dancing in her eyes.
Sarah was smiling when she left the dower house. She liked James’s family very much, and it was clear that she was already beginning to like her husband as well. Perhaps too much. He still overwhelmed her, but he’d been nothing but kind to her so far. How was it possible that he was so much larger-than-life when his family was so down-to-earth?
She was starting to question whether she’d be able to keep her emotions from becoming involved with respect to her new husband, and that thought scared her to death.
Chapter 7
December 1812
With the assistance of the efficient Mrs. Phillips, Sarah acquainted herself with the running of Hathaway Park over the next few weeks. She still lost her way on occasion when she decided to venture into an unfamiliar part of the house, but those instances were finally occurring less frequently.
All too soon it was mid-December. Every year as Christmas approached, the Vaughans hosted a party. Some years, when the snow was heavy, only the families that lived closest to their estate attended. The Mapletons were included in that group. But since they’d yet to see any snow that year, Sarah knew that every family within a few hours’ drive would be present.
As much as she’d wanted to, Sarah didn’t protest when James mentioned receiving their invitation. As the new Viscount Hathaway, it was important tha
t he become further acquainted with the families in the area, many of whom he hadn’t seen since the wedding day. She only hoped she’d be able to avoid Robert Vaughan, the man she’d once thought she would marry.
The carriage ride took just over an hour, but that hour flew by thanks to Emily’s excited chatter. Since her sister-in-law wouldn’t be out for another two years, this would be the largest social event Emily had ever attended. Her enthusiasm helped ease the dread Sarah felt about the evening ahead.
Even James’s normally reserved mother seemed to be looking forward to the evening. Her husband’s demeanor, on the other hand, could only be described as stoic. He hadn’t said as much to her, but she suspected he wasn’t yet comfortable with his new title.
A small part of her wondered if some of his unease stemmed from the knowledge that she’d once had an understanding with Robert. But if James had learned of their former courtship, he hadn’t mentioned it to her.
As the carriage drew nearer to the Vaughans’ estate, Sarah couldn’t stop thinking about the Christmas party the previous year, when she’d expected that this year she and Robert would either be betrothed or already married. She expected that memory to cause her pain. Instead, she was surprised to find that her grief at having lost the man she loved and being forced to marry someone she barely knew was no longer as acute as it had once been. She could only attribute that to her new husband. She didn’t love James—after Robert’s casual dismissal of her feelings, she would never again give a man that much power to hurt her—but she appreciated the fact that he went out of his way to ensure she would have no cause to fear him.
In fact, the opposite was true. She never would have thought it possible, but she found herself looking forward to their nightly lovemaking sessions. Her thoughts drifted to the previous night and, without realizing it, her eyes came to rest on James, who was seated opposite her.
He met her gaze, and she could tell he was either remembering last night as well or thinking about what would happen later in the evening. Her stomach dipped at the fire in his eyes, and a corresponding heat began to spread through her. They stared at each other for several long moments before she tore her gaze away. A quick glance at their companions assured her they hadn’t noticed that James had the power to fluster her with merely a look.
The moon was out and the night clear, so she turned to stare at the bleak scenery outside the carriage window, thinking about how pretty it would look when the snow began to fall. She murmured responses to Emily’s inquiries when they were required as she struggled to maintain her composure.
It was impossible to keep her thoughts from centering on the first month of her marriage. James had visited her every night, initiating her into a world of pleasure she’d never expected to experience with him. He was always gentle with her, ensuring she found pleasure before he returned to his own bedroom. But she suspected that he was holding back.
Their marriage was still so new and her husband still an unknown quantity. He was so big, so overwhelming. The fact that he seemed to hold himself so tightly leashed made her anxious about the day he finally lost that control. She’d seen all too well how her own father could change from one moment to the next, especially when he’d been drinking. The slightest transgression could change him from the kind country squire most people thought him to be to a man filled with rage and bitterness. He never physically hurt them, something for which her mother informed her and George that they should all be grateful, but that didn’t change the fact that his words could cut as deep as a knife.
Much as she wanted to believe that her own marriage was vastly different from that of her parents, she went through her days feeling as though she were in limbo. On the surface, things were pleasant and certainly more than she could have hoped for, especially after her own dashed hopes with respect to Robert. But her husband was being far too circumspect in his treatment of her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the emotions bubbling beneath the surface would one day break free. She only hoped that when they did, they would be the gentle popping of bubbles reaching the surface when a kettle began to simmer and not the violent explosions that burst forth during a full boil.
Until that happened, she could only take comfort in witnessing how he treated his family. She’d watched James with his mother and sister, when he didn’t have that air of caution that was so evident when he interacted with her, and she had yet to see any evidence of a temper. But she also hadn’t seen him when he was in his cups. Would his personality change then, like her father’s did?
While her feelings toward her husband were conflicted, the same couldn’t be said about her relationship with his mother and sister. After her initial wariness, Mrs. Hathaway had warmed to her, no longer seeming to fear that she would say something wrong or make a blunder. And Emily… in the short time Sarah had known her, Emily had become like a sister.
Since James was occupied with overseeing the planned expansion to the stables—hoping to make considerable progress before it got too cold or began to snow—and becoming acquainted with the running of an estate as large as the one he’d inherited, she was left to her own devices most days. Meeting with the housekeeper to go over the meals and the running of the household didn’t take that much time out of her day. Sarah loved to draw, spending hours working on pencil sketches and watercolors. And Emily had taken to visiting her almost daily, but she only stayed for dinner twice a week on the evenings when her mother joined them.
When their carriage pulled to a stop before the Vaughan estate, James didn’t wait for a footman to open the door. He leaped down from the carriage and turned, holding out a hand to assist the others.
She couldn’t avoid the knowing look in his eyes when she placed her hand in his. The way his eyes traveled over her figure caused heat to rise in her cheeks again. She was wearing a cloak, but she knew him well enough to know he was already envisioning divesting her of the gown she wore beneath it.
“Behave,” she whispered. She needn’t have wasted her breath, for instead of being chastised, he lifted the corner of his mouth in a knowing smile that made her insides tingle before he released her hand and turned to assist his mother and sister.
While no longer painful, entering the house she knew almost as well as the one in which she’d been raised—and which she’d expected to one day become her home—made her more than a little uncomfortable. Her family and the Vaughans had once been very close, and she couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t known Robert. But after he’d told her that her father was too steeped in debt to make a marriage between them possible, she’d never expected to cross this house’s threshold again.
She held her breath as she did so now, taking comfort from James’s solid presence at her side. She must have squeezed his arm because he looked down at her, one brow raised in question.
Before she could manufacture an excuse for her nerves, Emily claimed his other arm. “I’m so excited,” she said with a smile that fairly beamed. Sarah wouldn’t have been surprised if her sister-in-law started bouncing on her toes.
“The house looks lovely,” Sarah said, acutely aware that James was watching her closely. And it did. As always, the Vaughans had spared no detail in decorating the house for the holiday.
While the butler took their outer garments, enlisting the aid of a footman, she took in the familiar home. Greenery spilled from containers that lined the entrance, and boughs were wrapped around the stair rail. Sarah didn’t miss the mistletoe that hung from the doorways.
“Is that… It is, isn’t it? That’s mistletoe,” Emily exclaimed, gazing up at the archway they were about to pass under.
Sarah could have kissed her sister-in-law at that moment, for her exclamation was enough to draw her husband’s attention away from her.
“If anyone even contemplates kissing you, they’ll live to regret it.” James’s tone was light, but Sarah could tell he spoke in earnest.
Emily frowned at her brother. “Who would I want to kiss? I don�
��t even know anyone.” She turned to look at Sarah. “How well do you know the Vaughans? Am I correct that your parents don’t live far from here? You must know them well.”
And there it was, out in the open—the question she’d been hoping to avoid. “My parents are friends with Mr. and Mrs. Vaughan. We’ve been coming to their Christmas party for as long as I can remember.” She didn’t dare meet James’s eyes as she replied. He was far too perceptive, and she feared he’d sense that she wasn’t being entirely truthful.
They passed under the archway, following the butler to the small ballroom at the back of the house. It was a modest-sized room, but Sarah knew how proud Mrs. Vaughan was that their house was large enough to have a ballroom. Sarah’s parents couldn’t boast as much despite the fact that her father was a baronet.
When the butler announced their arrival, every eye in the room turned their way. The room was full to overflowing. She couldn’t remember there ever being so many guests in previous years and realized most of the partygoers must be here to see the new viscount and viscountess.
She shook off her slight unease at being the center of so much attention as they greeted Mr. and Mrs. Vaughan. Robert was there as well. Fortunately, he was off to one side, speaking to one of their neighbors. It was bad enough having to see him at all, but she wouldn’t have been able to bear having to greet him under the watchful eyes of his parents.
“We’re honored that you chose to attend,” Mrs. Vaughan said. “Your uncle never had time… I’m sure he was very busy.”
Sarah glanced at her husband, wondering what he was thinking as he murmured a few words in greeting and turned the subject to the unseasonably warm weather. Everyone knew that his uncle had thought himself above everyone there.
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