Dark Side of the Moon

by V R Tapscott

  Olive left once dinner was finished, making excuses about having to get back to watch over the ship. I was grateful to her for being human enough to know Dale and I’d like time together. Alone.

  Dale and I wandered around the neighborhood, came back home, watched some late-night TV and then I was pretty busy with making sure Dale remembered that he missed me. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

  Next morning, we had breakfast together, and I made waffles. And bacon, of course. Never forget the bacon. Dale was impressed at how well his waffle lessons had taken, and I was impressed at how much butter you could get in one of those little butter wells. That IS what they are, right?

  We had another gut busting lunch and then Olive showed up, and we snuck off into the bright afternoon sky, pretending to be birds or Learjets. Apparently, it worked, since I never saw any sign of any fighter jets scrambled to shoot us down. Of course, Olive had the hang of the whole invisibility thing so well that it wasn’t ever an issue - plus she could outrun anything Boeing ever made - and probably ever will make. Although, that’s up for discussion. Plane jockeys always like it faster and higher.

  Time to go home and do yardwork, I guess. It’s all going to have to be perfect if Mister Shun is to be properly impressed. Over the next couple weeks, I spent a lot of quality time gardening. I also had an army of helpers for both the inside and the outside. Kit’s design of the house seems to be allergic to dust - or that is, the dust runs away from whatever that stuff is. But still, things do tend to go downhill when left to themselves. Bailey has almost moved in here, I guess her air fern isn’t enough company at her apartment.

  We’ve discussed at length what we plan to do for Bailey and Bond, and now that we have a fully functional conference room - which anyone knows is required for real company credibility - we can start actually doing detective work. Of course, in so many ways that requires us to hire a detective to find out what we do. Funny stuff, huh?

  After all this, it finally clicked in my little brain that we had an onboard security consultant. Dale’s daughter had just gotten out of school for the summer a couple weeks ago. I should use the built-in possibilities of having her around and see if she wanted to live here for the summer. It’s so hot in Vegas and besides, she might like to spend time away from Nevada for a while. I decided I’d better send in my best operative to feel her out and see what she wanted out of life. Or at least for the summer to get the operation on its feet. I’ll get Olive to fly Bailey out to Vegas tomorrow. Bailey’s getting awfully tired of buffing her nails in her palatial office, maybe doing some work is what she might be up for.

  Chapter ten

  Every girl’s dream

  It was an odd sound. It seemed to be screaming alternating with yelling, with some truly juicy swear words thrown in.

  “Fly up! Fly UP!”

  “Look out for that ... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!”

  “No! Not over that edge!”

  “There’s a car - watch ... aaaahhhhhhh!! “

  “OLIVE! I HATE YOU!!”

  And all through this thread, a maniacal laughing. Now that she’d gotten used to it, Olive loved driving in traffic. Her reflexes and her pinpoint accuracy made her able to dodge in and out of any number of automobiles in any amount of traffic - even night in Vegas.

  “You said you owed me one, this is it, Bailey!”

  In a steady monotone, “I’m gonna get you for this, Olive. I swear, if it’s the last ... auuuuugghhhh - up, fly UP, dammit!”

  Olive finally got bored with scaring the life out of Bailey, and besides she didn’t want to have to explain to Jane why there were nail gouges in the seats or why Bailey was in the hospital with a massive heart attack. So, she landed. On top of the spire of the Stratosphere, delicately perched.

  “Bailey, just look at the view! It’s amazing, the whole city spread out!”

  “Last time you did this, you fell OFF the tower and we fell like 300 feet straight down. I’m not looking.”

  Olive sighed. “Hey, that was an accident. The ship slipped before I knew what was happening.”

  This was, of course, a blatant lie. Olive knew exactly where the ship was and what angle every bit of it was sitting at, plus the effects of gravity, windage and even planetary spin. But Bailey didn’t know that. At least not yet.

  “You promise you won’t do anything like - falling off the building or worse yet, accelerating off the building?”

  “Promise. Ah’ll just sit here and let the ship rotate. The view IS amazin’.” Olive was really feeling just a little contrite. Jane was much easier than Bailey. Bailey was high strung and nervous by nature, while Jane just kind of laid back and took things as they arrived.

  Bailey opened one eye, then the other. “Oh. Oh wow, that is amazing.”

  “Uh huh. An’ they pay a lotta money for that view inside th’ restaurant, and it’s FREE with me.”

  Bailey looked around the city. Olive had made the entire ship transparent except for a small section around Bailey’s seat, so it was like sitting in the air 1,149 feet up. Olive was sitting in her seat as well, but she hadn’t left any part of the ship opaque and she was looking straight down at the people getting ready to ride the Big Shot - a thrill ride on the top of the Stratosphere that jets you up 160 feet to the top of the tower in just a few seconds, then you free fall back DOWN, likely screaming all the way. You probably didn’t have time enough to scream on the way up.

  After her initial madder-than-a-wet-hen attitude, Bailey calmed down as she and Olive sat on top of the tower and watched. Olive had set the ship spinning at the same speed as the Stratosphere restaurant and it gave a comfortable view of the entire Strip and the area surrounding.

  “Hey, there’s the Luxor. We should go see it, inside it’s built like an inside-out pyramid, with all the rooms balconied out over the floor below.”

  Vegas was a true gem in the desert, with the thousands of lights at night. It’s a little more prosaic in the day, but still pretty impressive.

  After a while, Bailey’s day began to catch up with her, especially the sweat soaked screaming of the past hour, and she said, “We should head home.” With a growl, she added, “I need a shower and a change of underpants.”

  Olive snickered quietly. “I bet.”

  Bailey socked her shoulder, forgetting that Olive wasn’t really there. It was a strange feeling though, since there was something there - it was kind of like a fog.

  “Hey, careful, you’re disarraying my chi.”

  “Disarraying your chi? Oh, that’s a good one.”

  “Uh huh. I heard it on Dr. Phil.”

  Bailey rolled her eyes. “You deserve more than a shot to the shoulder if you watch Dr. Phil. He’s a such a dweeb.”

  “Hey, it’s in the name of research. I’m still trying to figure you humans out. Trust me, you’re weird.”

  Bailey patted her hair back. “We’re something special, all right.”

  “I didn’t say special, I said weird.”

  Bailey laughed. “Ok, that works. So - let’s go find this house that Jane bought.”

  Bailey was still a little shocked at the news that Jane had simply bought a house in Vegas instead of getting a hotel room. It did make sense though, as Jane had explained it - since Olive’s special considerations, like suddenly appearing out of thin air, made it hard to have a hotel room. Buying a house was just simpler. What Bailey was having a hard time adjusting to, was the massive amount of money that must be behind Jane. She’d tried to put it out of her head several times, but her corporate boardroom mentality made it hard to stop thinking about it. Not that she wanted a share or anything, but she wanted to be sure of Jane being safe - and of course, from a selfish perspective - make sure that she herself wasn’t involved in anything shady. Which brought up an idea.

  “Olive ...”

  “Uh huh, what you want sugar? Balance reports on Jane’s income, her outgo, her total net worth - anything like that?”

  “I hate it
when you do that.”

  “I know. It’s one of the reasons I do it. But - let’s see. No, no and no. But if it makes you feel any better, it’s all completely legal and above-board – Kit hired some very good lawyers to make sure of that. How’s that? So far as the money, don’ let it worry your pretty lil head, Bailey. You can’t spend enough in Vegas to make a dent in what Jane has. Well. I suppose you COULD spend enough, but it would take a hell of a lot of work.” A frown crossed Olive’s forehead. “Hm. On second thought, I wonder how close we could park to one of the big casinos. The parking garages are pretty much next to the casino floor. Gambling is still legitimate income, right? And it’s a shipload more fun than digging up bits of metal.”

  Bailey’s eyes lit up. “Are you talking about gambling? With a little edge?”

  A slight smile flittered across Olive’s face. “Yeah. All it would take would be a couple nudges in the right place for you to win a BIG jackpot at one of the slot machines.”

  “But, is that really kosher?”

  “I suppose not, but on the other hand there are a lot of people who’ve been broken by gambling in Vegas, and Vegas never gives them an inch.”

  Bailey sighed. “That’s true.”

  “Tell ya what. How ‘bout if you do some simple gambling with Jane’s money, and I won’t ever tell you if you actually won or if I helped?”

  Bailey seemed to fight an internal battle, but in the end said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”

  “Ok, you got that carbon fiber Master Card, right?”

  “I’d never think about leaving home without it.”

  Olive mused, “How about you get, say, a hundred thousand and we see what happens?”

  Bailey swallowed. “A hundred thousand? What’s the ... erm, Olive, what’s the limit on that card?

  “Limit? It’s got no limit. You apparently don’t understand what a carbon fiber card is.”

  “Maybe I don’t. It’s Jane’s money though, you don’t think she’d get mad?”

  “I’m not giving you a balance, remember, but just consider that 100k isn’t really even visible in the account.”

  Bailey blinked. “Oh.”

  Olive smiled. “Well, let’s go gambling then, sugar.”

  “Not until I change my underpants! And the shower, I must smell like a horse by now.”

  “Ok, we gotta look at this house anyway. It’s all ready, Jane had the agent come over and make sure the lights and internet stuff was turned on. She even hired a personal shopper to buy food.”

  “This is Jane we’re talking about, right?”

  Olive snickered. “Well, she might have had some help. Although, that girl can make a mean waffle now. Her man seems to have taught her something worthwhile, at least.”

  “Why would you care about waffles?”

  “Hey, I can still smell ‘em! And bacon. I dream of bacon.”

  “Point taken. Okay, let’s go!”

  With wail of terror from Bailey and a whoop of delight from Olive, the ship fell off the side of the tower, free-falling for something like 800 feet before she smoothed out the descent and cruised over traffic, dashing in the direction of Summerlin.

  A terse voice from Bailey, “You said you weren’t going to do that.”

  “Do what, darlin’”?

  “You know what.”

  “Well. Ah did say ah wouldn’t fall off any buildings. But that wasn’t a building. It was a tower. And we didn’t fall, baby, we flew!”

  Bailey simply sat and steamed in silence.

  Olive headed directly to the house. The silence in the ship was very dense, like San Francisco fog on a cold night in September.

  Finally, Olive broke the silence. “Um. I’m sorry, Bailey.”

  Silence.

  “It was childish and cruel, and I should never have done it. And I basically lied about not falling off the building. And I own that. I know you’re scared of heights and falling, and I did it on purpose. And it’s ... I’m sorry, Bailey. I won’t do it again.”

  Bailey finally looked up from the floor, her frozen silence thawing slightly. “Yeah, I bet.”

  Olive frowned. “I deserved that. But Bailey, I’m ... I mean, it’s not an excuse but I’ve only been alive a few weeks. And flying is just such a rush. I just need to be a better person. Jane would never do that to someone, and I love Jane. So, I need to be more like Jane.”

  Bailey nodded. “Sometimes I tell myself that too. WWJD - what would Jane do.” She giggled slightly.

  Encouraged, Olive said, “I have a joke for you too. The street where Jane bought the house. Any guesses as to what it might be? One hint - it’s a joke about ME.”

  “Hm. Heart in Mouth Avenue? Drop Dead Drive? Oh, oh, I have it. Killer Curve.”

  Olive drooped. “I’m really sorry, Bailey. I really really am. I never ... I ... it was never supposed to be mean.”

  Bailey sighed. “Ok, what street do we live on?”

  Olive looked up sadly. “Do you really care?”

  “Oh, good grief. Yes, I care, I care deeply. More than life itself. Stop with the emotional cavalcade here, girl.”

  “Okay! Anime.”

  “Anime what? What are you talking about?”

  “Anime Drive, Bailey. It’s on Anime Drive in Las Vegas.”

  Bailey stared at her blankly for a moment, then started guffawing. “Anime Drive?? Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack.”

  “Well, it’s no wonder that Jane bought it, then. How could she turn it down?”

  “I know. I was most amused. And gratified. But also worried. Does Jane see me as anime doll?”

  “No, I think it’s just her sense of humor coming to the fore. Are we almost there?”

  “We ARE there.” Olive dropped the door of the ship and they were inside a generous two-car garage. With a classic BMW sitting in it - a twin to Bailey’s in Chelan except that it was a deep green.

  “Oh my, she even brought my car. Now that’s nice.”

  “That’s not your car, Bailey, it’s hers. But it’s yours to drive while we’re here.”

  Bailey rubbed her hands together. “Oh my, get ready for some sweating while I drive for once!”

  They went through the door to the inside of the house. It was a nice place, granite countertops and stainless appliances. The whole house seemed almost new and in very nice shape.

  Bailey frowned. “Um, Olive. Do you sleep in the house, or do you like - vanish - and ... and whatever?”

  Olive blinked. “I don’t really know, to tell you the truth. I guess I’ll stay like this and see what it’s like. I’ve never ... um ... slept in my human body before. I mean, I don’t really sleep anyhow. The computer I .. live in ...” Olive trailed off, looking strangely vulnerable.

  “Oh Olive. I’d hug you if I could. It has to be a hard transition or whatever you might call it. Do you really want to be human, though? It’s a pain in the ass, sometimes.”

  “With all I am, I want to be human, Bailey.”

  They went through the rest of the house, looking through the closets and cupboards. The kitchen was well stocked with mostly unimaginative things like spices and pans. The only that that seemed to show some imagination, really, was the pile of nuts containers, chocolate boxes and a huge plastic tub of Red Vines.

  Bailey took one look at the pile of junk food and laughed. “Someone shops at Costco.”

  Olive looked sorrowfully at the display and said, “And I can’t eat any of it.”

  Bailey blew her a kiss and said, “I’ll eat some for you. What would be your favorite if you had a favorite?”

  “Chocolate raisins.”

  Bailey popped a handful of them into her mouth and said, “Chocolate raisins it is!”

  The bathrooms were also well equipped and had all the necessary accessories. Bailey came out of the steamy bathroom into the main living area and was joined shortly by Olive - hair wet and slicked down, wrapped up in a towel.

  “Holy crap, woman. Put som
ething on - you’re way too sexy in that towel.”

  Olive smiled shyly, “You really think so?”

  Bailey rolled her eyes. “Of course I think so. Now, put on some ugly sweats so I don’t have to be self-conscious about MY ugly sweats.”

  Olive went into her room and came back out shortly wearing the twin to Bailey’s oversized tee shirt and loose sweats.

  “Ah, that’s more like it. Wanna watch some TV?”

  “Sure. Let’s find some Dr. Phil!”

  Bailey razzed her, but flipped through channels, her anger lost in relaxation.

  Later, after they’d watched a couple hours of silly sitcoms and Bailey’d introduced Olive to The Property Brothers, they decided to head for bed. As they got up from the couch, Bailey glanced at Olive, wondering if she replicated all the parts ... anatomically correct.

  Olive gave her a sly smile. “Of course. What would be the point otherwise?”

  Bailey blushed bright red. “You have to stop doing that!”

  “Wanna see?”

  “No!”

  Olive grinned. “Yes, you do, but ya can’t admit it. Maybe another day, darlin, maybe another day.”

  Bailey took a long breath. “Good night, Olive. See you in the morning.”

  “Sure will. I hope you’re makin waffles, ‘cause I want some.”

  Bailey woke up the next morning, spent a few minutes in the abbreviated gym in the garage, then went back inside for a shower. Jane - or maybe Olive - had sprung for some nice towels, so it was a luxurious experience.

  She hit the kitchen, looking forward to making the promised waffles and a few strips of bacon. Olive was already sitting at the table, a hungry look in her eye. Bailey noted that Olive had her own little powdered sugar container, butter and syrup. Along with an empty plate and utensils.

  Bailey grinned, poured batter, and then started the process. She made a waffle and tossed it on her plate, adding copious amounts of butter, then syrup. Looking back, Olive’s plate had a waffle on it, the twin to Bailey’s except more butter and some kind of maybe - jam? Bailey started another waffle, then sat to eat her own.