The Italian Surgeon's Secret Baby

by Sue MacKay

  Don’t waste your time. You’ll only break your heart all over.

  * * *

  I, Mattia Ricco, a sane and intelligent man, have just offered to buy Elene a home of her own.

  He who didn’t trust women to accept him for who he was and not want to grasp everything going, totally believed in Elene not to hurt his family, not to pull his heart out and stamp all over it. How did he explain this to himself? Had he gone and fallen in love with her? Couldn’t have. He wasn’t doing that ever again. He wanted a word with the clown who said never say never. These emotions about Elene had been growing slowly out in left field and he needed to resist them. Only then would his life get back on track. A long and lonely track.

  Mattia turned his focus to Elene and away from the questions and shocks tripping his brain. Something was bugging her. She kept glancing at him then out over the now dark sea beyond the road. He’d upset her by insisting he’d buy her a home, but that couldn’t be what was putting a scowl on her beautiful face. Was it about moving away from her home turf to his? She’d hate leaving her family permanently. During his year in New Zealand there’d been times when he’d have given anything to have one of his brothers there to tease him, give him cheek, to take away the emptiness created by being away from all he knew and loved.

  Reaching for her hand, he squeezed gently. ‘Elene, I’m coming to Wellington with you for a week.’

  Her smile was uncertain. ‘Why?’

  ‘Two of us looking after Aimee on the flights will make for an easier trip for you.’

  ‘I survived last time.’

  ‘Exactly. Survived. You were a wreck when you arrived.’ The company plane wasn’t available next week so he’d get first class tickets for the three of them. Anything to make her journey more comfortable.

  ‘What about work?’

  ‘They’ll manage, one of the other surgeons returned on Thursday.’

  ‘I won’t be returning here that quickly. I have to work out my notice at the hospital, for one.’

  ‘I understand. There’s lots for you to do.’ Her hand was warm under his. A simple gesture shouldn’t hold so much care and concern, friendship and...

  Mattia jerked his hand away, sat back in his chair. ‘Everyone here understands and will do what they can to help. You’ve completely won over my family, and the sisters-in-law think of you as a special friend.’ But they weren’t her friends, her family. He got that. It worried him. What if Elene got so homesick she couldn’t remain in Sorrento? Then he’d have to make the move, and deal with similar problems. He’d go talk to the specialists he’d worked with while in Wellington last time. No harm in putting out feelers in case he found himself moving down there.

  ‘Sofia and Alessia do make it easier for me.’ She drew circles on the table with her forefinger. ‘I’m looking forward to our lunch tomorrow. Girl time.’

  ‘All talking nonstop so you can’t hear each other.’ The girls would make Elene see her new life didn’t have to be lonely.

  ‘I intend getting a job when I come back.’

  ‘That won’t be hard. There’re always part-time positions available at the hospital, especially in the winter months.’

  ‘Did I say part-time? That’s my decision to make, not yours.’ Picking up her fork again, she played with the last piece of gnocchi on her plate, shoving it through the sauce, back and forth. ‘Accept that I will do what’s best for Aimee, and we’ll get along just fine.’

  ‘But...’ He paused.

  ‘No buts, Mattia. I am making most, if not all, of the concessions here. Be warned, I will not become subservient, nor will I live how you expect. I do have a mind of my own and intend using it.’ Stabbing the gnocchi, she pushed it into her mouth. So there.

  Fair enough. He chuckled. Seemed nothing could dampen his spirits tonight. ‘We should have some interesting conversations over the coming years.’ Elene wasn’t a simpering fool who’d do anything to keep onside with him. He’d hate that with a vengeance. Feisty women knew their own minds, which was a big attraction for him.

  A vision of her naked body wrapped around his flashed before his eyes. Their lovemaking was out of this world. It wasn’t just sex. Did that mean attraction beyond the physical? Every morning he woke up with a smile and a sense of wonder at a new day bringing any amount of happiness and fun with Elene and his daughter. Getting excited about life with a woman should be worrying. Or it could be exciting if he took the risk and gave her his heart. Not today. Not in one solid hit. Piece by piece, the barricades were cracking, which was a more manageable way to move forward with this.

  ‘Would you like dessert, signor? Signorina?’ The waitress hovered at the table.

  Mattia raised an eyebrow. ‘Elene?’

  ‘No, thanks.’

  Tipping his head at the waitress, he told her, ‘Me neither.’ As the girl walked away he rose, reached for Elene’s elbow. ‘Time to go home.’

  To bed to make wild, passionate love? Or to separate rooms to think about everything they’d discussed tonight? Or did he waste time thinking about Elene getting under his skin and how to go about removing her before he got in too deep? If he wasn’t already too late.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ELENE LAY BESIDE MATTIA, one leg between his, her arm on his chest. Making love just got better every night. There was a rawness to Mattia that drew her in, made her want to give him so much.

  He’d been badly hurt in the past so handing over his heart again would take something major to happen. Love was the only thing that might break the shackles he’d tightened around that particular organ. If she’d learnt anything about Mattia these past weeks, the main one was he wasn’t about to let love near. Except for Aimee, who’d stolen her father’s love without a blink. As children did. If only it was that simple for her to win him over.

  There were times when they got along so well that hope rose. But like at dinner earlier, that hope often got a dose of cold water. Mattia wanted to tell her how to run her life, and no one would ever be allowed to do that again. That was her slippery slope to avoid. She might’ve agreed to move here but it’d been her decision. She hadn’t been following orders. Like tonight there’d be more demands and like tonight she’d refute them. She was capable of making her own choices and living with the results.

  ‘You planning on lying awake all night?’ Mattia asked. ‘What’s your problem? You’re tense as a wire strop on a boat.’

  Shuffling sideways and withdrawing her leg and arm, Elene lay on her back and stared at the darkened ceiling. ‘I’m not sleepy.’ Though after their lovemaking she should be comatose.

  ‘Problem?’

  You. ‘Just a lot of things going round and round in my head.’ Again, you.

  ‘Don’t make mountains out of everything, Elene. It’s hard enough as it is. I do understand what you’re giving up to come here.’

  ‘Do you though?’ She paused, but when Mattia said nothing she continued. ‘When I return, what will our relationship be?’

  The bed rocked as he sat up and leaned against the headboard. ‘Why do you ask?’

  ‘Because I want to know. No grey areas. These past few nights have been special, but I suspect you won’t want to continue for ever.’

  ‘You know I don’t do commitment. It is what we argued about back in Wellington when I was going out with Danielle.’

  She swallowed the hurt. ‘Yes, I hadn’t forgotten, and still chose to sleep with you.’

  ‘I am sorry, Elene. Truly sorry.’

  ‘So I’ll return to Sorrento, and we’ll carry on as though this never happened.’

  ‘I don’t imagine I’ll be forgetting it in a hurry.’

  Her head flipped around so she could see his face, but there wasn’t enough light to really read what was racing through his eyes. ‘Nor will I,’ she whispered. ‘Which is why I don’t think I can live in your h
ouse, not even temporarily until I find my own place.’

  ‘You’ll be lonely in an apartment with only a toddler for company.’

  ‘I’d be just as lonely here.’ Having Mattia in her face day in, day out, would not mean companionship. She sat up beside him and reached for his hand. When she threaded her fingers between his they didn’t curl around her hand. ‘Let’s leave it at that.’

  ‘There’s a lot to think about.’ His fingers loosened around hers. Did he realise they were holding hands? ‘I should’ve expected this. You’re always blunt when it comes to clearing the air.’

  She’d hardly started, but telling Mattia she’d fallen in love with him was not happening. She had her pride. So did Mattia, and out of habit, or because he needed to protect himself, he’d put up a wall so high and deep they’d never make their way through it. For Aimee’s sake, she wouldn’t risk trying. Pulling her hand free, she slid down the bed again and lay staring up at the ceiling. ‘We’re getting better at talking.’

  His laugh was self-mocking. ‘You think?’

  ‘Yes, Mattia, I do.’ But they were still a long way from being close. As friends or lovers, or partners for life? They needed to stay close, again for Aimee’s sake. And theirs if the way forward was to be comfortable and they’d be able to consult each other on all the important issues that bringing up a child would raise. ‘It’s progress.’

  ‘You’re right.’

  She grinned in the dark. ‘Say that again.’

  ‘Don’t push your luck.’ He slid down beside her. ‘Roll over and I’ll cuddle you till you relax.’

  Exactly what she wanted, yet it would make her long for more. Couples cuddled, not short-term lovers. Hadn’t he just made it clear as crystal where they were going with this...relationship? Friends, single parents sharing raising a child, whatever. They didn’t do cuddling naked in bed. That was too loving and close, too wonderful to be happening.

  ‘Think I’ll get up and read for a bit, distract my brain.’ She rolled out of bed before she could give in to those tempting arms.

  ‘Elene?’

  Mattia would hate for her to say what was on her mind and it would drive a wedge between them. ‘Go to sleep. I’m fine,’ she lied.

  Out in the family room, she checked her phone for messages, felt her eyes water when the screen showed blank. Not even the usual banter from her sisters, but they’d be at work. Homesickness overwhelmed her, pushed her into the cushions. Better get used to it. When she returned here, keeping busy would be an antidote to some extent, but nothing beat having people around who loved her unconditionally. Pressing her mother’s number, she held the phone to her ear and waited, and waited. Okay, not at home and, Mum being Mum, her phone was probably still on the bench.

  Swiping the back of her hand across her face, Elene reached for a cushion and hugged it to her breasts. Breasts that not so long ago were responding to Mattia’s hands and tongue, tightening and aching with need. She shouldn’t have left his bed. She’d had to, or fall deeper. It was going to be hard enough stepping away without adding other memories of tenderness to the picture.

  Next week she’d fly out of Naples, bound for Wellington and all the packing that needed to be done. Only days left for making love with Mattia, of knowing his body, of sharing hers—if they continued after their discussion tonight. Silly woman that she was, she wanted to have those last nights together. When she returned she’d never leave her room in the middle of the night to get into bed with Mattia. They’d never again make love against the bench in the kitchen while waiting for the kettle to boil. How was she going to be able to return to all those memories?

  * * *

  Mattia quietly observed Elene as she bounced a grizzly Aimee on her hip and gripped shopping bags in her other hand. She looked shattered.

  ‘Been busy?’ He nodded at the logo-covered bags she was dropping onto the kitchen table.

  ‘I’m definitely out of practice. Once Sofia and Alessia get started they don’t stop. I swear there isn’t a shop on Via Toledo we didn’t go into.’ She jiggled her human bundle to no avail. If anything the shrieking got louder.

  ‘Give me Aimee so you can take a load off your feet.’ He reached into the fridge for the wine. ‘Pour yourself one of these while you’re at it. Dinner is prepared for cooking so we can eat whenever.’

  ‘That’ll be when missy decides to quieten down and go to sleep.’

  ‘I’ll run her a bath.’ Though his girl wasn’t fond of getting wet, once she was in and playing with her toys she usually calmed down.

  ‘Good luck with that. She’s been wound up all the way home. Too much excitement visiting with Nonna and her cousins.’ The glass shook in Elene’s hand as she poured a small drink.

  Worry hit Mattia. ‘Are you all right, other than tired?’

  She huffed out a breath. ‘Yes. I didn’t get much sleep last night.’

  ‘You didn’t choose the most comfortable of places to crash.’ He’d found her on the couch amongst the cushions when he’d come out to turn on the coffee maker at six that morning. ‘Why weren’t you in bed?’

  Another huff. ‘I was restless.’

  Something wasn’t ringing true. But the shrieking in his ear was serious so he left Elene to wind down with her wine while he dealt with madam. ‘Come on, little one. Let’s play splish-splash.’

  Pushing boats through the water and tickling Aimee on the ribs quickly quietened her and Mattia relaxed. Until he lifted her out and began to dry off the bath water. Then the crying started again. ‘Guess we’re going out to the deck next.’

  ‘I’ll heat the pumpkin mash,’ Elene called as he strode past. ‘Food might help.’

  It did for a while, but as soon as Mattia tried to wipe her face and hands Aimee let rip with more screams. ‘You have a future as an emergency siren, little one.’ Back to pacing the deck.

  ‘Let me take her.’ Elene stood in front of them a long time later. ‘I’ll see what I can manage.’

  Within minutes the shrieks had dulled to occasional snorts and hiccups. ‘The mother touch,’ he noted. ‘I’m impressed.’ He also loved how domesticated this felt, and how much he was enjoying being beside Elene as they settled their child. He glanced around the deck at all the toys spread around. Could he get Anna to leave it as it was so it always felt like a family home?

  ‘It doesn’t work every time.’ Elene smiled tiredly, her body sagging.

  He walked beside them, round and round the deck, Elene obviously wary of trying to put Aimee down yet. ‘I’d say give her back to me but that might prompt more trouble.’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘I’d like to know what kept you awake last night,’ he risked.

  Another circuit of the deck. Then, ‘What I’m undertaking is huge. What if I can’t do it? Find that I miss home too much? What if Aimee can’t cope with different children at crèche, all talking in a strange language? I mightn’t be able to go to work and mix with adults.’

  Where had the strong, take-no-prisoners woman gone? Elene didn’t crumple at the first hint of difficulty. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close, counting off by raising his index finger. ‘You’ve impressed the hospital staff and patients with your professionalism and kindness.’ Second finger. ‘The same goes for the charity unit people.’ Another finger. ‘My family think you’re wonderful and want to do all they can to persuade you to stay and settle in. Anna adores you and won’t hear a bad word about you.’

  ‘What did you say for her to tell you that?’

  ‘I mentioned your cooking skills.’

  ‘Nothing wrong with them.’

  ‘There was that duck confit.’ It’d been a disaster.

  ‘A gentleman wouldn’t bring that up.’

  ‘Too late.’ He smiled down at her. Then he held up his thumb. ‘Last, but not least, I’ll have your back a
ll the way. I want you to fit in for your sake, not just mine. This has to work for both of us or else it will end badly. So I will do all I can to make you happy.’

  Instead of smiling at him, her face shut down.

  What had he said? ‘Elene?’

  Twisting out of his arm, she headed inside. ‘I’ll try putting Aimee down. She’s almost asleep.’

  Mattia watched her rush away, putting distance between them. This wasn’t making sense. Not at all. About to follow her, he changed his mind and headed to the kitchen to start cooking the tortellini. A break from whatever was bothering Elene might help. They could talk after dinner.

  But when he went into the family room after cleaning up from dinner and putting the dishes in the washer he found Elene was finishing up talking to her family.

  ‘Everything all right?’ he asked around a lump of worry.

  ‘I’ve told them what we’ve decided so naturally they’re full of questions. But overall they’re happy for me. It’s hard not being there to gauge their reactions.’

  She’d miss that in the future.

  ‘You talk to them most days.’

  ‘It’s not the same. I want the hugs and the laughter and crazy talk.’

  Mattia’s heart lurched. This was the crux of what faced them. What if they couldn’t make it work? They had to. There was no other solution.

  * * *

  Mattia tried not to grip the edge of his seat as the massive plane lowered through the clouds to the tiny runway below. Wellington had turned on its biggest storm in a decade apparently and the airport had been closed all night, only opening after ploughs had cleared away the snow and hail. Flying had never bothered him before, but with his little girl smiling up at him, her face full of trust, he knew a fear like he’d never known. He was meant to protect her, not put her in harm’s way. ‘Hey, baby girl, isn’t this fun?’