by Lindsey Hart
“Callie,” he breathed. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Her breath was hot against his mouth.
What was left of his control, what little he had to begin with, snapped completely.
CHAPTER 11
Callie
She wasn’t sure when the date went so off track. At what point did Chantara’s words from earlier that week really sink in? At what point did she feel so totally alone? Was it during the sledding? Racing down the hill after Matt, laughing and screaming, realizing that it was indeed possible to actually have fun again. To allow herself to live a little.
Was it the clothing he gave her? The soft t-shirt and the warm sweats, the way he set them out before she even got to his house? Was it the glimpse of his rock-hard abs and bronzed skin as he pulled his own shirt on when he answered the door? Or was it that someone was taking the time to make her dinner? To care about her like she was an actual person with thoughts and feelings and dreams? Matt looked so tenderly at her like he actually cared. She’d said something stupid, about her past, and it spiraled out of control from there.
She hadn’t meant to cry. It was the last thing she wanted to do. It was just that- the tears had been so long in coming. Callie felt like she’d been holding them back for years.
She knew she had to get out of there, but then Matt rose, and he looked at her and in his eyes, she saw- god, she didn’t know what she saw. Pain. For her. Sincerity. Care. Compassion. He cared about her. She wasn’t just another notch in his belt or a trophy for his wall. He looked at her like she truly mattered. In a world where she’d grown used to feeling invisible and unwanted, ashamed of who she was and alone for the most part, having one other person there made all the difference.
Matt pulled her into him, and she went, tangling her arms around his neck. He asked her if she was sure, with all the sincerity in the world. She knew that he’d let her go if she wanted him to.
She could have gone. It would have been the right decision for so many reasons. But she didn’t. She looked into Matt’s eyes and said the word.
Yes.
Yes, she wanted to stay. Yes, she was going to regret what they were about to do, because she made no mistake about the fire in his eyes. Yes, she was going to make sure that after she opened herself up she was protected again. She was just so tired, so very damn tired, of being lonely. She craved that connection with another person. If she was honest, she’d never really had it with Ben. It had been years, years since she felt truly alive.
Matt was her boss, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to see him again after. She’d quit her job and that would be that. She’d give herself this experience, not a night, just the sex, the connection, the… whatever was going to happen. It wasn’t about intimacy and it sure as hell wasn’t about love. It was because that one kiss would never be enough for either of them. She knew what it meant to give in to something she truly wanted. That it was just a mistake, that it hurt, in the end. But this, this wouldn’t be a mistake. She’d be careful. She wouldn’t let herself get hurt again.
And then Matt’s lips descended to hers, warm and soft and just as incredible as she remembered them. She forgot to think as the kiss went from something that was gentle to something that was searing and wild and hot. She forgot to remember her past. She forgot the reasons she shouldn’t be with Matt in the first place. She forgot to think, to remember, to process, to do anything other than surrender.
It felt good. It felt so damn good.
Callie leaned into the kiss, pressing herself against Matt’s solid form. He was real. This was really happening. It wasn’t a dream that she had to wake herself up from. His tongue pushed between her lips and it was really real. She kissed him back with equal ferocity. Her tongue tangled with his and when he withdrew, she nipped at his lips, licking and probing until he opened his mouth to her.
Their teeth clashed together in her haste, but it was nice, that little shock of friction, the urgency. His cheek scraped against hers, his skin soft from a fresh shave, likely done just before he left for their date. She pulled away for a second and smelled pine and woods and the deeply erotic scent that was just Matt. It was raw and unmistakably masculine.
Her senses overwhelmed, all Callie could do was hang on. She sank her nails into Matt’s neck and pressed herself against him as his mouth crushed hers once more. His knee came between hers and she felt the hard bulge against her thigh. Her senses reeled at the contact. The throbbing that had been going on between her legs since the damn Christmas party was back. She felt the rush of wetness soak the sweatpants as she ground shamelessly against the rigid muscles of Matt’s leg.
She was almost embarrassed at how wet she was. She’d left her panties in the bathroom, hidden under her wet clothing, since everything was soaked through. She figured he’d never know…
Matt deepened the kiss. His hunger and desperation were evident and she pushed back just as forcefully, their mouths locked in a passionate war that neither of them was going to win. She didn’t want to win.
Desire pooled low in her stomach and her insides clenched hard. Her fingers swept through Matt’s hair, marveling at how soft it was, despite the product that was there. It was minimal and used on the outside of the golden strands.
He shifted, moving his knee away and she nearly cried out in frustration, but then his hand was there, on the inside of her thigh, and she vibrated with the touch. He explored her through the sweats, the outline of her leg, the curl of her hip, the flat planes of her stomach. She had his t-shirt tucked in to try and keep the too large sweats from slipping down her hips. He pulled it away easily and slid his hand under the waistband. He kept going, exploring her smooth sex.
She nearly jumped when she felt his fingers, as hot as molten lava, lower. He groaned loudly and even she felt the tremble that ripped through him.
“Dear Lord, you aren’t wearing any panties.”
As if he just realized. But maybe he did. Maybe his brain is moving as slow as mine. Like sludge.
“They were soaked,” she panted.
“From sledding,” he said huskily, as though he just realized what she was talking about.
“Yes.”
“You’re so smooth. And wet.” His finger moved over her sex and she knew it was true. She was shamefully wet, slick and throbbing. For him. “Are you still cold? Chilled? I have something that would warm you up.”
“What’s that?” As if I don’t already know. A bolt of fear raced through her, but she pushed it away. This was her night. This was her one damn night to feel alive again.
“A shower. With me.”
“I…” she hedged.
It was embarrassing. She never did this with anyone. She hadn’t come prepared, because as far as she was concerned, it wasn’t happening. Ever. It was supposed to be a nice, innocent evening. It was supposed to be, but I don’t want that anymore. She really doubted that she’d ever wanted it if she was totally honest with herself. Which was something she hadn’t been in a long time. Honesty was hard. Honesty hurt. Honesty beat the hell out of a person. It was easier to harden off, to block out the past and the painful memory. It was easy to hide behind walls made of stone and not let anyone in.
“What is it?” Matt took his hand away. He brought it up and gently stroked it over her bottom lip. She could smell her own feminine, dusky scent and her body heated up. The throbbing turned into a roar that needed to be sated.
“I- I didn’t bring- I’m not on anything. I mean- protection…”
“Right.” Matt’s eyes darkened with understanding. “I have something upstairs.”
“But- I- if we shower?”
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he said gently. Even though his eyes burned into her, she knew he would stop if she said the word. She didn’t want him to stop. She wasn’t going to say the damn word.
“No, I do want to. It’s just… I want to be safe. I- I just want to be responsible.”
He nodded. �
��If you still want a shower, I’ll do everything in my power to make it the best shower you’ve ever had. Then we can take it to the bedroom from there. We’ll be adults.”
Callie paused. She wanted to trust Matt. I do trust him. He’s a good person. She didn’t really know anything about him, but she knew that was true. He wasn’t going to hurt her. Nothing would happen. She’d feared it with Ben too, that something unplanned would come between them and ruin them. She’d kept her secrets inside for as long as she could. She knew it wasn’t fair to Ben and she’d finally given in and let him in right before their wedding.
As far as honesty went, she knew he wouldn’t marry her. She’d told him so anyway. Ben had been safe. He was someone she’d met at the end of college and turned to because he was just… safe. He’d convinced her to go out with him. Him and his black hair and dark eyes and his perfect smile. He had that bland kind of life that she could tell was just… safe. She’d never stepped out of her comfort zone. She wasn’t even sure they’d ever actually loved each other. They had no business even getting married…
Callie shook her head and Matt stared back at her. She pushed thoughts of Ben aside. “It’s just been… a long time since I’ve done this.” She flushed after, at how bad that sounded said aloud.
Matt didn’t wince. He didn’t smirk or make a face or drawback. His eyes, if they changed at all, softened a little. “I swear I won’t hurt you.”
“I know.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, something about there still being time for her to back out, but she stepped in again, braced her hands on his shoulders, and pulled his face to hers. She kissed him like there wasn’t going to be a next time. She already knew that with him, there wouldn’t be. She drank him in, nipped him and he nipped back. She captured his groans in her mouth and pressed closer.
She let out a gasp as his hands slid around her hips, down to the curve of her ass. He lifted her easily, hiked her onto his solid, rock hard hips. She wrapped her legs around him, and he carried her through the kitchen, through the living room and up a set of stairs. He set her down in the bathroom and set to work on getting the shower going.
It was a stand-up shower, one of those things that were tiled and set off by itself. There was a tub on the other end of the bathroom, a freestanding thing that looked expensive. The countertops were marble or granite or something, in the double vanity. A set of white, fluffy, terrycloth towels hung from the towel bar at the side of the shower. The bathroom was almost so perfect it looked like it belonged in a hotel.
Matt turned back to her and the look in his eyes sent a wave of lust stabbing right through her. “Let’s get those clothes off.”
Callie froze. Am I really ready for this? For another man to see me naked? What did it matter though, if she never saw him again? It wasn’t like he would look at her at work and everyone will know that he’d seen her without clothes, that he knew what she looked like underneath those layers. She wanted him. She wanted him enough that she could brave the embarrassment of getting undressed with the lights on.
She gripped the hem of the t-shirt, his t-shirt, and pulled it over her head. Matt froze. The cool air hit her bare skin. Her nipples were hard little buds before the cold air even grazed them. Matt let out something that sounded pretty damn close to a growl.
He stalked toward her and met her hand halfway to her pants. He worked them down her legs with her, let his hand travel over the smooth skin of her thigh and down her calf, as she shed the sweats onto the floor.
“Lord, you are perfect,” he growled. Oddly enough, when he said it, she almost believed him. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Not since that kiss.”
“Really?” she gasped. She wasn’t brave enough to tell him that she’d relived it a hundred times. Or a thousand. More than that?
“Really.” Matt tore off his t-shirt and she stepped back, looking on in admiration.
She got a full-on view of that bronzed chest, the hard pecs, the striated muscle of his shoulder, the bunching of the muscle in his arms, the bulges of biceps and streamlined forearms, the hard ridges of defined abs. He was glorious. If men could be called beautiful, he was definitely freaking gorgeous. Her mouth actually watered, and her hands itched just to feel even an inch of all that hard muscle and golden skin. And then he shed his pants. He stepped out of them and let her see what she was really in for. She forgot all about being self-conscious that she was naked. Because he was too.
Her gaze was immediately drawn to his cock, which was so hard it stood nearly straight up along his chiseled abs. Her sex ached at the sight of him naked. He looked good in clothes, but he looked much better without.
When she looked up, she blushed painfully as her eyes met Matt’s. He knew she’d been looking at him, studying him, wondering how the hell he’d actually fit inside of her.
“Stop thinking,” he said huskily. “I want you to stop thinking and start feeling.”
“Feeling?” she asked woodenly.
“Yes. Feeling. I want you to enjoy every single second of what I’m going to do to you in that shower.”
A shiver raced up her spine and goosebumps formed all over her arms and legs. There was a promise in his voice, deep and rich and so darkly sexy. It killed the last bit of common sense or reserve she might have had left.
Her legs bucked beneath her, but Matt caught her. He hauled her into him and when he kissed her, it was even hotter yet. He propelled them into the shower, beneath an unrelenting spray that felt like paradise against her oversensitive skin. I need this. I need him. She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t do this again. That she wouldn’t give someone the capability to hurt her, but she couldn’t stop.
And then he dropped to his knees and she learned firsthand what paradise truly was.
CHAPTER 12
Matt
She tastes so good. So damn good.
Callie melted against him, rocking her hips into his face, grinding against his mouth. He took his time with her, exploring and teasing and tasting and learning. She inflamed every single one of his senses and then some. He felt drunk and dizzy. The whole world felt like it had been tipped on its side and he was doing his best just to hang on.
He swirled his tongue over Callie’s sex. She was perfect. Her taste was perfect. The water cascaded down her heaving breasts, over her flat stomach, mingling with the spicy musk of her arousal. It mixed together on his tongue and slid down his throat when he swallowed. Callie’s harsh little pants turned to wild moans and matched the groans that were torn from his throat.
For someone who was so proper at work all the time, she was a burning, fiery pillar against him. Her hips bucked wildly, her nails dug into his scalp and shoulders in turns. She writhed and whimpered and moaned as he delved into her with his tongue, lapped at her with his mouth, worshipped her in every way he knew how.
He gently ran a finger over her sex, finding her tight entrance. She gasped when she felt him there. Just as he entered her, slowly, he flicked his tongue over her clit. She vibrated against him and let out another wild moan. Her fingernails dug in so hard, he was sure they made little crescent marks in his shoulders.
“Oh, god,” she panted. “Yes. Matt…”
He began to work her with his finger and suckle her clit at the same time. Her body responded eagerly. She came hard a minute later, her cries echoing through the shower. He lapped at her, slowly, gently, and marveled at all she made him feel. He felt alive. More alive than he ever had in his life. He felt… like it was right. Like what they were doing was always meant to happen. He’d never been so fucking turned on from pleasuring another person. He was rock hard and right on the verge himself.
Matt gave Callie a second to recover and then he scooped her up in his arms. He managed to hit the shower dial on the way out. He didn’t bother with towels. He carried her naked and dripping wet and entirely glorious, straight to his bed. He didn’t flick on the lights since he knew she’d probably prote
st, and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. There was a stream of light filtering in from the hallway that gave the room just the right amount of golden glow. Enough to see, but enough that she wouldn’t be shy.
She sure as hell wasn’t shy in the shower. Matt suspected that even Callie was surprised at herself.
He set her down gently on the bed and she scooted up. He ripped open the drawer of his nightstand. It only took him a few seconds to find the little packet he was looking for, rip it open, and slide it in place.
“Matt- I…” Callie panted. “I haven’t done this in a while.”
“It’s alright,” he assured her. “We can take it slow. Unless…” the word was painful. “Unless you want to stop.”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently, her eyes glassed over with passion. “No, I don’t want to stop. I just want you to know. Because I’m probably going to be bad at it.”
It was his turn to shake his head in denial. “No way. Not possible.” He could have sworn she was blushing, but it was too dark to be sure.
Her hair hung around her shoulders in wet clumps. It was so much darker when it was wet. Her eyelashes were thick and clumped together in little star patterns. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. Little beads of water trailed down her shoulders, her breasts, her stomach, her legs. Every single inch of her was so damn beautiful. Flawless. It was flawless. She was flawless.
“So- what- uh- do you want to do?” Callie asked. She sounded like she was ready for a negotiation session and Matt paused.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean- uh- what position do you want me?”
He didn’t know whether to smile, laugh or groan. She stared up at him, eyes wide and searching. “You don’t have to ask me, that,” he said gently. “We’ll just start and then you can take the lead. How’s that?”
“What if- I don’t know what you like?”