The Devil's in My Bathroom

by Eddie Latiolais

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: Hot Sand

  Benny was at New Lake International Airport at seven o‘clock Thursday morning to meet Julie’s plane. He was two hours early but wanted to make sure he was there to greet her. As the plane unloaded, he saw a woman wearing a baggy sweatshirt and sunglasses.

  He walked up to her and asked, “Miss Templeton?”

  Julie pulled down her shades and said, “You’re Ben Myers. I recognize you from the paper. And please, call me Julie.”

  Benny couldn’t believe that she had seen a picture of him. “Excuse me for being a little star struck, Julie, but…”

  “Oh, no, on the contrary. I’m the one who should be star struck.”

  “Wait a second. I’m standing next to the woman who every man in America wants to meet, and you’re telling me you’re the one who’s star struck?”

  “Mr. Myers…”

  “No way – please call me Benny.”

  “Okay, Benny,” smiled Julie. “I’ve been following your career for the last two years. I’ve looked up every time your name has been mentioned in record deals. You’re the reason I want to do this video.”

  “I don’t understand,” said Benny.

  “I've seen the bands you’ve produced. They were all talented. None of them were full of the hype and shallow personalities that usually come with rock musicians. I hate phony people. My agent is one of them. He’s happy having me being the BreastMaster girl. I want more. I’m actually more talented than you know. I can sing, dance, and act. I need to be associated with someone who can take me seriously.” They walked to the limo Benny had waiting for them. He was apprehensive but knew he had to tell Julie the truth.

  “Excuse me for being honest, Julie, but…”

  “I know. You wanted me for my, um, should I say, assets?” She gave Benny a knowing smile.

  Benny was a little ashamed. “Well, you are a high profile figure right now.”

  “I’m doing infomercials that have been getting a lot of airplay. If I keep doing just that, I’ll be known as the BreastMaster Girl forever. I don’t want that.”

  “How long do you have on your contract?” asked Benny.

  “I only have one more to do. That’s why when I heard about this chance to make a video with the Cramping Violets, I jumped at the chance.”

  “You know we can’t pay you one cent. It would cause big problems with the BreastMaster people. You do have an exclusive contract.”

  “That’s fine. I have no problem with that. It’s what we agreed on.”

  “Out of curiosity, what paper did you see my name in?”

  “The New Lake Times.”

  “How did you get a copy of that?”

  “My agent has some kind of ties to this city. He gets a week's worth of papers every Monday. I like to glance through them.”

  “Who is your agent?” asked Benny. “I talked to quite a few people at the agency, but nobody would let me talk to your actual agent.”

  “I really don’t want to get into that, Benny. Let’s do this video, let me finish my contract, and we’ll take it from there.”

  “No problem,” said Benny. “We’re on our way to the lake right now. The band should be waiting and the production crew should be set up.”

  Julie smiled. “I can’t wait.” She moved closer to Benny and sat right next to him. Benny was elated.

  Gerome Elderberry was sitting in his cell. He had a two-day growth on his face, which he wasn’t accustomed to.

  Captain Richards opened the door. “Let’s go, Elderberry. It’s checkout time.”

  “Well let me say the accommodations haven’t been up to my usual standards. Is there someplace I can shower and shave?”

  “Yeah, come this way.” Captain Richards directed Gerome to the locker room.

  “Knock yourself out. There’s soap, shampoo, and shaving cream.”

  “What about a razor?” asked Gerome.

  “Let me see if I can find you one.” Richards left Elderberry alone. Gerome crept into the shower stall. He made sure he didn’t step on the cracks in the tiles. He didn’t want to touch the mold. All of a sudden, he heard two people enter the locker room.

  “Did you hear about the psycho chef last night?” said one voice.

  “Yeah, that stabbing incident at Toulouse,” said the other.

  “Man, what kind of crazy shit is that?”

  “Some crazy Cajun went berserk, I heard. Did you know he used to be a mayor of some city in Louisiana?”

  “Yeah. It was another Cajun who got the whole mess started last night.”

  “I got a glance at the report. He played in a band that was performing at the mayor’s daughter’s reception. I think it said something about one of the band members screwing the daughters, and this other guy was playing Play that Funky Music.”

  “I heard that he screwed the wife, too.”

  “Probably got the poor man’s sister and mother while he was at it.”

  “He had a weird name. Pel-tee-I-er, or something like that.”

  “Pel-tire,” screamed Elderberry. He ran out the shower.

  “Who the hell are you?” asked one of the men.

  “Let me see that report,” demanded the naked Elderberry.

  “I’m not showing you shit until you tell me who you are.”

  “I’m Lieutenant Gerome Elderberry of New Lake City Homicide. This man you’re talking about is a probable murder suspect. I need to find him.”

  Captain Richards came in, carrying a disposable razor. “What’s all the commotion?”

  “You have a deranged criminal running loose in the city. I need to see the report of the incident at the Too Loose Club.”

  “You must mean the Toulouse. It’s a restaurant, not a club. I guess there’s no harm in you seeing it. Here, shave that crap off your face first.”

  Elderberry grabbed the razor and finished getting cleaned up. He noticed the two men staring at him. “Why don’t you take a goddamn picture – it’ll last longer,” he snarled.

  “Let’s leave this fruitcake alone,” said one of the men.

  Debbie was sound asleep on Andie’s couch when she felt a tug on her shoulder.

  “What’s going on?” she asked. She was squinting as the morning light was peeking through the window.

  “You’re at my apartment,” said Andie. “I called the office and told them we had to go to the courthouse this morning and would be a few hours late.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Nine,” said Andie.

  “What day is it?”

  “Thursday.”

  “What month is it?” Debbie asked.

  “Are you that bad off?” asked Andie. “Don’t you remember what happened last night?”

  “Not a thing. How did I get here?”

  “Marlena, from Balls & Burgers, called me last night to pick you up. You were completely wasted.”

  “This is so embarrassing. I don’t remember a thing.”

  “Now, you sound like Nick,” Andie remarked. “You don’t remember calling me and saying that you were sorry about Harold?”

  “Didn’t you two get together last night?”

  “No. He had to work.”

  “There’s something strange going on here. I just can’t think of it right now,” said Debbie.

  “Well, here’s some coffee. You can wear one of my outfits to work. We really need to get going.”

  “Can I shower first?”

  “You’re going to have to make it a quick one. We’re really late.”

  Debbie went into the bathroom and hopped in the shower. The warm water was bringing her to her senses. She started remembering the events of the night before. She put on a towel and walked out the room.

  “How’s this dress?” asked Andie.

  “Boring,” said Debbie. “I’ll wear it, anyway. I’m not out to impress anybody today.” The two ladies were about the same size. The dress fit but made Debbie look older and a lot less attractive.

  “That’s r
eally not you,” said Andie. “Let me find something else.”

  “No, don’t worry about it. This will be fine. Let’s go.” She put on the dress and didn’t bother fixing her hair or makeup. They left for the office in Andie’s car. The mid-morning traffic was smooth, so the commute took only twenty minutes.

  “So, Harold had to work late last night?” asked Debbie.

  “Yeah. Mr. Grimes has him wrapped up with this Carlos deal. It’s going to keep me pretty busy, too.”

  “What do you think about Harold?”

  “Debbie, I really like him. He’s gorgeous. I was hoping to – well, you know – get him alone last night.”

  “Maybe he’s not what he seems.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Well, maybe he’s just using you to…” She stopped talking.

  “Yes, go on,” urged Andie.

  Debbie started thinking about Tony. “Using you until the next blond bimbo comes along and he dumps you like last week’s leftovers.”

  “Are you okay, Debbie?” Debbie burst into tears as they drove into the parking garage of the Kensington building.

  “Screw Tony – screw Harold – screw Peter Grimes.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t be at work today.”

  “Well, I’m here. I might as well make the best of it,” said Debbie, through the sniffles.

  The limo pulled into Lake Park. The band and production crews were anticipating their arrival. When Julie stepped out of the car, the band members got on their knees and did the ceremonious We’re not worthy routine, as they dropped to their knees and waved their arms up and down.

  “Get a grip, guys,” said Julie. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

  Pizza Guy was the first to step up to Julie. “Like, you are a goddess. I watch you on the tube and wish, like, I could be the BreastMaster and, like, you were squeezing me.” Julie was embarrassed.

  “You guys are so cute.” Benny was doing the directing and gave everybody their respective positions. The song, Love Blender, was cued and the band started lip-syncing. Julie walked in front of Wesley, the guitarist, and rubbed her hand over his face, as directed by Benny. He dropped his guitar on his foot and screamed in agony.

  “Cut,” hollered Benny. “Wesley, why isn’t your guitar strapped on?”

  “It was,” he said, as he hopped around on one foot. “She just melted the strap off.”

  “Okay, take your places and we’ll try the shot again. Julie, try starting with Dylan, the bass player, this time.” The music started and Julie made the slow, sexy walk towards Dylan. He tried to keep his cool, but his knees buckled as Julie rubbed her hand on his face.

  “Cut, again,” screamed Benny. “What’s wrong with you guys?”

  “Just look at her, dude,” yelled Pizza Guy. “How are we supposed to keep our cool when you have this hot babe rubbing all over us?”

  Benny smiled. “You guys have a point there.” He knew he found the perfect girl.

  “Why aren’t you filming?” asked Jamie, who had just walked up to the set.

  “Oh, hi Jamie,” said Benny. “I want you to meet Julie Templeton.”

  Jamie was amazed. “My, God. You are even more beautiful in person.” Julie smiled.

  “That’s quite a compliment, coming from a woman as beautiful as you.”

  “And you’re a charmer, too,” said an excited Jamie.

  “I should say she is,” said Carlos Verona, as he stepped up behind Jamie. “I’m Carlos Verona,” he said, as he kissed Julie’s hand. “Welcome to our beautiful city.”

  “The pleasure is all mine,” said Julie. “I know who you are. My agent works for you.”

  Jamie was a little nervous about this. “You work for Carlos?”

  “Well, not directly, but he is the owner of the agency I work for.”

  “I hope they’re paying you well for this,” said Carlos. Julie got a little nervous, herself.

  “I’m not exactly getting paid for this, sir. That would violate my contract.”

  “Yes, it would,” said Carlos. “And you definitely wouldn’t want to do that, would you?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Good. Don’t let me interrupt your work here. I just want to watch.” He looked at Jamie. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Carlos Verona.” He held out his hand. “And you would be?”

  Jamie grabbed his hand. “I’m Jamie O’Malley. I’m overseeing the operations at Apocalypse Records at the moment.”

  Carlos kissed her hand. “You are a very beautiful woman. I like redheads. Who do you work for?” He didn’t have complete trust in Peter’s explanation.

  “Like I told you earlier, she works for us,” said Peter Grimes, who had just walked up.

  Jamie said, “I have a lot of work to do, so if you gentlemen would excuse me…”

  “Who exactly put you in charge,” said Peter. “I know you work for us, but I need to know the person’s name who put you in place.”

  “Peter, don’t be so rude,” said Carlos. “If she doesn’t want to tell us, that’s her decision. You must learn to respect a woman’s wishes.” He turned to Jamie. “It was a joy to meet you, Miss O’Malley. I’m sure we’ll meet again.”

  “You can count on that,” said Jamie. She turned to Peter. “I assume you’re Peter Grimes?”

  “You assume correctly,” said Peter. “And Miss Templeton, I’d love to have you join me for dinner this evening,” added Carlos.

  “Actually, as the one in charge of this company, I should be taking her out tonight,” insisted Jamie.

  “I’m flattered,” said Julie, “But I was kind of hoping to have dinner with Benny this evening.”

  Benny was stunned. “Me?”

  “Of course, you.”

  He was gleaming. “Yeah, sure.”

  Jamie and Carlos stood there, both dejected.

  “Well, Miss O’Malley, would you like to join me for dinner this evening?” asked Carlos.

  Jamie looked at him. “First of all, it’s really nice of you to ask, Mr. Verona, but I don’t appreciate being second choice – especially when the first choice just turned you down flat right in front of me.”

  “I understand. That was highly rude of me. My apologies.”

  “And second – I really don’t like you. No offense.”

  “None taken,” said Carlos.

  “If you would excuse me, I have a lot of work to do,” said Jamie.

  Carlos tipped his fedora to Jamie and motioned to Peter to leave with him.

  As they walked away, Carlos asked, “Do you boys know what you’re doing?”

  “Sure, we do,” said Peter. “Why do you ask?”

  “That O’Malley woman obviously doesn’t work for you. I don’t care what you do with this record company, but I don’t want any screw-ups being associated with me. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir. I most certainly do, but she does work for us. I was just trying to find out which one of my people put her in charge. I’m just trying to stay on top of things.”

  “You know, Grimes, I really don’t care. Don’t you forget – my main objective is to save Frank’s life. This little record company thing is just a little bonus for a job you were hired to do. It’s cost me a lot of money to buy that little operation for you. You can obtain it anyway you want, but you better make sure everything is on the up-and-up.”

  “You have absolutely nothing to worry about, sir. We are the best in the business.”

  “You better be. That’s why I hired you.”

  Debbie was at her desk, still in tears. Harold walked by, trying to avoid eye contact.

  She blurted out, “How was your night, Harold?”

  He stopped and turned around. “I had a lot of work to do last night. Why do you ask?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I thought you might want to play a little game of sixteen questions.” The phone rang and she answered, “Harold Rogers’ office – Lolita speaking – No, I’m sorry. He’s not in today. I believe
he’s out cruising the local high schools.”

  Harold slammed his hand on the phone. “I need to speak to you in my office – right now.”

  Debbie followed Harold into his office. She slammed the door behind her.

  “What kind of sick weirdo are you?” she asked.

  “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’ve been rude, obnoxious, and unprofessional since you started working for me.”

  “You know damn well what I’m talking about. I saw you last night.”

  “I was working here last night.”

  “Oh, come on, Harold. I saw you last night at Balls & Burgers with that sixteen-year-old girl you’d just banged.”

  “That’s the most preposterous thing I have ever heard. I’ve never been to that place and I most certainly would not have sex with a sixteen-year-old girl. How dare you make that kind of accusation?”

  “I know what I saw,” Debbie said.

  “Well, I know what I’ve been seeing,” said Harold. “You have embarrassed me in front of my boss and clients. You have done lousy work and have shone me nothing but disrespect. I have no choice but to let you go.”

  “Are you trying to say that I’m fired?”

  “I know the firm employs you, but you have committed insubordination towards me. Since I am considered your immediate supervisor, I have every right to fire you.”

  Debbie looked at Harold for a few seconds with moving. “Okay, asshole. I’ll walk out of here nice and quiet. But, believe me – this will not be the last you hear from me. You’re going down.” She walked out, slamming the door behind her. Harold called Andie’s office.

  “This is Andie Jenson.”

  “Andie, hi. This is Harold.”

  “Hi. How was your all nighter?” He was a little nervous. He didn’t know if Debbie had spoke to her.

  “My all nighter?” he asked.

  “Yeah, you said you would probably have to work all night. How did it go?”

  “Oh, it went well. I got home around three and had to be here bright and early. How was your evening?”

  “It was pretty interesting. I had to go rescue Debbie last night at this place called Balls & Burgers. I guess you’ve noticed she isn’t quite up to par today.”

  “Oh. I’ve noticed. Listen, how would you like to have dinner this evening?”

  “I’d love to. Pick me up at seven?”

  “Great. I’ll see you then.” He needed to put his charm into overdrive to save him from this mess.

  Debbie called for a cab to take her home so she could get her car. She drove to Balls & Burgers. As she passed in front of the 7-Eeven, she slowed down, blew the horn, and flipped off Tony as he stood behind the counter.