by Huss, JA
“We already had Corla,” he says.
“And we already knew Corla makes pinks!”
Valor lets out a long breath.
“It makes sense,” I say. “Just… think about it for a second. Let’s suppose that the Angels are the worst kind of people to ever exist in this universe. And let’s suppose that ALCOR did the right thing when he fucked up their genetics and killed them off. And let’s also agree that taking the Angel Station through the spin node and hiding it in another galaxy, surrounded by AI-controlled security beacons that shoot everything that tries to get past the gates, was also necessary.”
I stop and take a breath. Because I haven’t told anyone this theory. Ever. Until now it was all just thoughts in my head. I’ve never said it out loud. I’ve never really given it life. But now… it’s alive and my whole body is shaking from the adrenaline coursing through my blood as conjecture and theories start to become fact.
“Why, Valor? Why did he want us to stay with him that day we arrived on ALCOR Station?”
Valor is already shaking his head no before I’m done talking. “He’s not—”
“He is,” I say. “He won the motherfucking lottery when a silver princess called Corla sent seven violet-eyed Akeelian boys through his gates. He could’ve just killed us. He should’ve just killed us. But he didn’t.”
“I just don’t think he’d—”
“He’s going to breed us, Valor. He knows that this plan of his is failing and if he doesn’t make a true angel, someone else will.” I laugh. It’s so not funny, but I can’t help it, I laugh. “Hell, he already has. And he used me,” I say. “He fucking used me to make this whole plan happen!”
Valor, who has been leaning up against the hull of the ship, now walks over to a crate a few paces away and sits down. He props his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands.
“He used all of us,” I say. My fingers unconsciously handle the drive containing Brigit’s virtual in my pocket. Because all this leads back to her. Somehow, some way, this all leads back to her.
“And I don’t know what he’s doing or what his end-game is,” I continue. “But… Nyleena’s children, Valor? They’re the last piece of the puzzle. He’s not on our side. He’s never been on our side. Crux never trusted him. And even though we’re all very different men, I think we can all agree that Crux knows things. He’s the voice of reason. He’s always been our voice of reason.”
Valor looks up at me. His eyes are bloodshot red and he looks very tired right now. “Did you tell this to Crux?”
“When? When could I tell him this? Before ALCOR ‘died’?” I do air quotes for that word. “When he was watching us every picosecond of every spin? Or after, when everyone was confused and people were dying on the station because the Baby was left in charge? I was waiting to see what would happen when Jimmy met up with those people from Angel Station.”
“Yeah, what was that all about?”
“Jimmy came away with nothing. They wanted answers from him. So—” I throw up my hands and laugh. “Who are they? They’re not Angels, that much I know. So who are they?”
Valor squints his eyes. “Props,” he says. “Just… props.”
And there it is.
The whole truth.
“That’s the only logical answer, Valor. Everyone is lying to us. Everyone but us wants to be an Angel, or make an Angel, or, at the very least, have the power that comes from those two things.” I shrug. “So… make a decision. Stay here and fix this ship and kill Veila, even though it won’t change anything. Or come with me. Help me, Valor. Help me save Brigit. She is the key to everything ALCOR has been doing. I know it. There is such a thing as an Akeelian girl, Valor. There is. She’s right here in my fucking pocket! And if we can get to her in the real we’ll find all the fucking answers to all our sun-fucked questions.”
I hold my breath. Because I truly cannot do this without him. I don’t know how I know that, I just do.
I need Valor to see this through with me.
He gets up and starts pacing the docking bay. Back and forth in front of his ship. Then he looks at me, swallows hard, and says, “OK. I’m in.”
CHAPTER TEN - BRIGIT
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
That’s what I tell myself over and over again. But I gotta be honest. I’m a little bit panicked.
“Hello?” I call into the cloud of gray nothingness. “Is anyone here?”
Nothing. And I don’t think I actually have a voice because even though I kinda heard my call, I didn’t really hear my call.
I wave my hands in the thick rolling fog and then try to take a step forward. But I don’t think I have a body. I don’t think I’m anything.
I am nothing. My world is gone. I am gone.
Don’t panic.
Take a breath.
I can’t. I have no lungs and there is no air.
Do. Not. Panic.
Think rationally, Brigit. What is this? How did this happen? Put the pieces together and figure it out.
OK.
I messed with the world. I made a decision to change it and… well, fuckin’ A. That happened. Hester, Aieena all happened. The party, the… offer—or whatever that was from Draden—all new stuff.
And the security building. I didn’t see a hospital, but Aieena mentioned it. So that was new as well.
What’s it mean?
I did this. I think I did this. I think I erased the world because I told him to go away.
I didn’t really mean everything needed to go away.
Don’t panic.
This sorta makes sense. At least I hope it does.
Earlier I was thinking about how I was the bank. Or… maybe even in charge of this place. That must be true. This world is mine. Tray created it for me and I control it. So when I told Draden to go away he had to, because I’m the boss.
Yeah. I’m the boss here.
Which means I can remake my world.
Right?
But how?
A small speck of light appears in front of me. One point of light. OK. That’s a good sign. I can remake the world. I can turn this back. I can make my building, and the community garden, and Aieena, and the café, and Hester and—
Wait. Why the fuck would I do that? I mean, that was the whole point of today, right? Change things.
Yeah. Take a moment, Brigit. Think this through. Because I get the feeling that starting over from nothing and making a whole new world isn’t easy. I’ve never done it before and I want to do this right.
So I think for a little bit. What kind of world do I want? What kind of place do I want to spend time in? Lots of time in. Because Tray won’t be coming back any time soon. He might never come back.
So who do I want to be? Where do I want to live? What do I want from life that I was lacking before? What made me happy? What made me unhappy?
Think, Brigit. For all you know, you get one do-over and that’s it. I might have to live with these decisions forever.
I think about my life before Tray. I don’t remember much. It was so long ago. But I do remember a station. And a ship.
My immediate gut reaction is… I don’t want that. No ships. No stations. No space, for fuck’s sake.
I want a planet.
The single point in front of me expands with a flash and the gray nothingness is suddenly illuminated with bright gold light.
The words ‘And then there was light’ pop into my head.
Holy shit! Did I do that? Did I just start the process of making a planet?
Let’s check it out.
I want air.
As soon as I think the words a rush of wind blows past me, mixing up the primordial cloud of bright gold light and making it swirl like crazy.
Fuck.
OK. It’s cool. Don’t panic. This is good. This is all very good.
I want land. I want firm ground. And I want plants.
I think something happens. But the light is too br
ight. I can’t see anything. It’s just a dazzling, brilliant glow of light.
I don’t just want light everywhere. I want to collect it into something manageable.
I want a sun.
The swirling cloud of gold pulls together into a massive ball and yes!
I laugh.
Yes! There’s ground. And plants. And a sun!
I want sky. And I want night and day.
My new world turns and the ball of fire in the newly-made sky begins to fall down towards my horizon until there’s a clear line of distinction above me. Night and day. Sun and stars.
OK, Brigit. Now what? What comes next? Think!
I need water. I want water.
And before me appears a great ocean. And there is sand beneath me. And waves rolling up to my shore.
I want birds.
I want fish.
I want animals.
Songs tweet out from the trees. Water just offshore splashes from the tails of swimming creatures. And a small animal claws its way across the sand towards the ocean.
I want me.
Sand squishes between my toes. A mist of salty water flows across my face and I am warmed by the sun.
I am me and this is my new world.
No. That’s not quite right.
I am God.
And now I rest.
CHAPTER ELEVEN - TRAY
“I’m ready,” Valor says from the pilot’s chair. “Let’s do this. You got the coordinates spun up?’
“I do,” I say.
“OK. Press go.”
I’m at the navigation console. Valor is a great pilot and he was practically born to be the captain of a ship. He has it in his blood. But this ship needs no pilot.
I am this ship.
“Sending,” I say.
“Opening bay doors,” Valor replies. “Thrusters on.”
The ship lifts up and forward just as the interior doors lift up and then we are in the blurry dark of the spin node.
The internal clock in my head stutters, and stops, and stutters, and starts again. And then….
And then we’re out.
Somewhere else.
“Where are we?” Valor asks.
“Seventeen degrees radial on the z-axis in the third quadrant in the gravity well of the sun called Pythia.”
“Where the fuck is that?” Valor says.
“No clue. But we’re not staying here anyway. It’s just the first gate jump.”
“What’s the time?”
“Can’t say yet. Not until we actually get somewhere that matters.”
“What if years have gone by, Tray? What if you’re wrong about the time?”
“Well”—I huff—“I’m not usually wrong, dude.”
He laughs.
“But I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out. Ready for gate one.”
“Entering.”
Time goes weird again and I sigh out a long breath of relief. At least we’re on our way.
“How long will this one take?” Valor asks. He’s up from the captain’s chair and is walking back to my station.
“Ten minutes? Relatively speaking.”
“Then how many more after this one?”
“Fuck’s sake, Valor. Can you just let me work it out? I’m doing my best here.”
“Asshole,” he mumbles, taking a seat at the main console meant for scanning gate-mapping charts.
“Look, I’m worried about the time too. Inside Brigit’s simulation the time goes very fucking fast. I’ve been away for a long-ass time, OK? I’m worried about her.”
“Well, I’m worried about us. I’m worried about where we’re headed and what kind of bullshit we’re gonna find there. And I’m actually worried about Booty too. I know you don’t give a shit about her but I do.”
“I care about Booty. But we don’t know what side she’s on.”
“She’s on Serpint’s side. That’s all we need to know.”
I look over my shoulder and roll my eyes.
“She would never betray Serpint.”
“OK,” I say.
“She wouldn’t. She loves him. Like… fuckin’ loves him.”
“She did,” I say. “Before that shit-show back on Cetus Station and a virus kicked her ass.”
“So we can’t trust her either?”
I spin around in my chair and glare at him. “I don’t fucking know, OK? She’s very powerful. And she has a mind of her own. So next time we see her, we’ll ask. But stop talking to me about shit unless it’s got something to do with right now.”
I turn back to my navigation screens and let out a long sigh.
“You’re a dick. You know that? You’ve always been a dick.”
“For sun’s sake, Valor. I was your best friend when we started this. You gave up Luck for me. So obviously I’m not that much of a dick.”
“Temporary insanity,” he mumbles.
But I have the course planned now and I shoot it up on the screen. “OK. This is where she’s at.”
He gets up and walks over to me, leaning over my shoulder.
I like Valor. I’d never tell him that, but I’ve always liked Valor. When we were younger I used to fantasize and he and I were a team instead of him and Luck. I guess, if I really want to admit the truth to myself, I sorta planned his involvement in this. Sure, he came to me after everyone came back from Bull Station and Beauty was gone. I didn’t make him shun Luck. That was his choice.
But I set him up to get what he needed from me.
A new purpose. A new friend. A new way forward.
And look, I succeeded. He’s here with me and not back on Harem with Luck.
So I should feel good about that, but there’s a layer of guilt hiding underneath the feeling of satisfaction.
Guilt that I’m going to ruin his life with this trip.
Or get him killed.
“Six gates.” He sighs. He’s very close to me. So close I can feel his breath on the back of my neck as he studies our course.
I glance up at him and find his face just a little too close. He turns his head and smiles.
I smile back.
“We’re gonna be OK,” he says, straightening up and placing a hand on my shoulder. “You might be an asshole, but you’re right. You’re not generally wrong.”
“Thanks,” I say.
“So… this Brigit girl. Tell me more.”
“More?”
“Well… what does she look like? Is she pretty?”
“What do you think?” And I grin. I can’t help it.
“Describe her.”
“I dunno. Long, dark hair. It’s almost black but it’s not black. It’s superviolet.”
“Hmm,” he says, taking a seat in the chair next to me. “Nice change from all the pinks and silvers at least. Does she have nice tits? I mean, you did fuck her, right?”
“Virtually,” I say. “Lots of times.”
“I knew you were up to something in the Pleasure Prison. And it didn’t have shit to do with maintenance. You love her then? She’s your version of a Cygnian princess?”
“Yeah,” I say. “There is no princess in my future. They made me different than you guys.”
“How?”
“I don’t really know. The AI inside me, obviously. I just know I was never meant to…” I look at him. His face is serious and calm. And not that I really think about this kind of stuff, but Valor is the best-looking of all of us brothers.
“Never meant to what?” he asks.
“Breed. You know. No one wants my genetics. I’m not even sure it’s called genetics anymore.”
Valor smiles and his dimples appear. They don’t come out often. He has to really grin hard to make them pop up. So I know this is a real smile. “Are you kidding me? Everyone wants some of this.” He grabs my thigh and squeezes.
I brush his hand off.
I might not be truly Akeelian anymore. But I still have two cocks. And Valor’s hand on my leg reminds me of that.
&n
bsp; He glances down at my lap, grins again, then gets up and walks back to the gate-mapping table, ignoring my response. “Do you think we’re all genetic brothers?”
“What?”
“You know. Like… for real related?”
“No,” I say.
“For sure?” he asks. “You know this for sure?”
I glance over my shoulder at him. “Why?”
He shrugs. “Just curious. If we’re, you know. Related.”
I turn back to the navigation, unsure what he’s looking for.
“I mean, you and me? No. For sure. I don’t think you’re genetically related to any of us, actually. But like… me and Serpint? Don’t you think we kinda look alike?”
“Hmm,” I say. “Yeah. I guess. You two look more alike than anyone else.”
“I think he’s my real brother,” Valor says.
I spin all the way around in my chair. “Really?”
“You never thought about it?”
“No.”
“Well, you’re weird. So I guess that’s normal. Luck and I used to talk about it all the time.”
“Why?”
“Because…” He smiles again. That big dimple-popping grin. “Sometimes we’d get lonely out on our missions.”
I raise my eyebrows at him.
He shrugs. “I liked him. What can I say? And he liked me back. Before Nyleena came along. So we talked about it forever. And several years ago we actually did some genetic testing out on the Outer Highway.”
“And?”
“No, we’re not related.”
I turn back to my screens. “Hmm.”
“But I still wonder about Serpint.”
“Why?” I laugh. “Because you want to fuck him next?”
“No. I just wonder if I have… people. Ya know? Real familial ties like that.”
“I’m your people,” I say. “I mean that, you know.”
“I know.”
I look down and sigh. “And… thank you.” I turn in my chair to look at him. “I mean that too. I can’t do this without you.”