Death with a French Vanilla Splash

by Rena Marin

  “Anyway, as I drove by your parents’ place, I saw the RV in the driveway. You hadn’t mentioned them making a stop at home, so I wasn’t sure if they were trying to surprise you or not. I wasn’t going to mention it, but, I mean, considering your current living status, I didn’t think surprises would be a good thing.”

  “No...” I moan as I sink down on Claire’s couch and run my fingers through my hair. “This is the last thing I need right now. Mom will be all in my shit.”

  “I know.”

  “She’ll go on and on about me being so pale.”

  “Yep.”

  “She’ll swear I’m not taking care of myself.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I bet she’ll accuse me of being on drugs.”

  “That’s what my mom says.”

  I stop rambling and look up at her. “Seriously?”

  “Oh, yeah. My mom has asked more than once if you’re on drugs. I told her no, of course. Now, she just thinks you’re sick. She keeps pushing me to make you visit a doctor.”

  “Fuck me. If your mom thinks all that shit, could you imagine what mine’s gonna say?”

  “I know you don’t like the idea of it, Zo, but maybe you should talk to Parker about getting a little of the cosmetics done to hide your zombie stuff for now. At least while they’re in town.”

  “You may be right. And if they aren’t telling me they’re in town, that means they’re going to try to surprise me.”

  “Yep. And you have a talking severed head sitting on your bar and a zombie goat who was eyeing your curtains like a chew toy earlier today. Dick was fussing at him when I stopped by.”

  “I gotta do something about all this.”

  “But what?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll need to think. First things first, though, I’m calling Parker. If I can look a bit less dead, Mom may not be on my shit so bad.”

  “And your roomies?”

  “I guess I’ll need to blow their plans of surprising me out of the water. It may upset Mom; Dad won’t give a damn, but I can’t have them popping up whenever they want.”

  “I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I’m game.”

  “Thanks Claire. You’re awesome.”

  She smiles brightly at me then holds her arms open wide. “My place is y’all’s place anytime. I can bring the boys over here when you know they’re stopping by. As long as Clyde is well fed, he shouldn’t try to eat me.”

  She has a point. Clyde seems to stay chill most of the time but if he needs it, I do have a harness for him. I use it sometimes to save the squirrels when we take walks. I don’t know what it is about those little rats, but he hates the damn things.

  “We’ll figure this out,” I tell her hopping to my feet. “And hopefully, it’ll be a short visit.”

  I knew, somehow, deep inside, as I spoke the words, I knew I was full of shit. I know my mom better than anyone. She loves the RV. She loves traveling. If she’s home, without an announcement, something is up. This isn’t going to be good.

  Chapter Five

  “You have to be naked, Zo.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes, seriously. That’s the way the tanning works. Trust me, you don’t want to wear a suit, then see just how pale you truly are right now.”

  I look around the room. Parker’s friend, Meredith, is smiling at me like she hasn’t a care in the world. “I don’t know her.”

  “So? Don’t tell me you’re suddenly self-conscious of what you’re rocking, Zo.”

  He has a point. Sort of. All the talk about how pale I am is leaving me in serious doubt about my hotness at the moment.

  “Come on, strip down, babe, and get in.”

  I shake my head and whip my top off. By the time I’m completely stripped and ready to step inside the contraption, I can’t help but notice Parker watching me. “What?”

  “You look damn good deathly white. I can’t wait to see you all sun kissed and summery again.”

  “Fuck you, Parker.”

  “Hopefully.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “Yeah, I know. Now, get in and do what Meredith tells ya.”

  I step inside then jump slightly when Meredith’s voice fills a speaker above my head.

  “Now, when I say turn, turn. Don’t hesitate. You remember how Parker showed you to stand, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. This shouldn’t take long, but you may need a second go considering.”

  “Considering what?”

  “You’re dead, Zoey.”

  “Oh, yeah, that.”

  “And here we go...”

  OKAY, I’M NOT ONE TO brag. Wait. Yes, I am. I do brag from time to time. There’s definitely a reason to now. It took a few shots of spray tan, but by God, I’m looking good. There’s no way my mom is going to think I’m sickly. Hell, people are going to be wondering how I got my gorgeous tan back so fast. Fuck. People are going to wonder about that.

  “Told you it would look hot.” I turn to see Parker leaning against the dressing room door looking me up and down. “I forgot how hot those legs were.”

  “Uh-huh. They haven’t been too hot since the night they were wrapped around you, and you decided to nibble on my ass.”

  “Nah, they were always hot, just not so colorful,” he tells me as he flashes his shit eating grin. “I bet Ethan will be excited.”

  I hadn’t thought about what Ethan would think. I mean, we’re not in a full-time relationship or anything, so his opinion wasn’t at the top of my list. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll like it.” I turn to view the backside again in the mirror.

  Hearing the dressing room door shut, I peep around to see Parker making his way toward me. I know that look in his eyes. I can’t say that I mind it, but dammit, we just talked about Ethan. I mean, he doesn’t think I’m that slutty, does he?

  I open my mouth to protest his advance toward me when he grabs my face in his hands and pulls me toward him. The kiss he plants on me is enough to awaken the dead bitch inside. I feel her perk up, wondering why the hell he’s not naked yet.

  In answer to my question, I hear his zipper slide down quickly. Before my brain can even debate the wrongness of what I’m doing, his hands slide down my body and grab hold of my ass. I don’t fight it. Why would I? Yes, I’ve been running around with Ethan, but this is Parker. This isn’t someone who is going to steal me away from him or make me stop seeing him. No, this is my zombie fuck buddy. That’s all.

  When he lifts me up then presses me against the mirror, I’m too far gone to care what anyone thinks. All I can think about is the feel of him inside me as he thrusts hard and deep with that magic wand he’s working with.

  One thing about zombie sex I don’t think people know is the duration. I mean, why would they? Most people don’t think about zombie sex. Zombies don’t exist in their minds. For those of us who live after death, sex is on our minds. A lot.

  We don’t get tired like humans. I remember when I was living, I would roll around with a guy, flaunting my best moves, then collapse to the bed panting for air. Nope. Not anymore. Who the hell needs air? Not me. Not Parker. Since breathing doesn’t matter, a good romp can last for ages.

  Parker doesn’t need to worry about going soft. Yes, it’s a thing. It happens. Some guys, after a good fuck, lose their drive. It can take a girl ages to get him worked up again, so she can keep going to get hers. Not with a zombie guy. Well, at least not Parker. That monster in his jeans can be ready to go instantly. When he gets his, well, he’s right back, ready to march on into battle again. His dick is such a warrior.

  Me? Yes, there’s tricks to getting off now. Parker was a great teacher on how to use those tricks to my advantage. Now, I can actually get mine whether the guy is doing a great job or not. Luckily, when it comes to messing around with Parker, that’s never the issue. This player knows what he’s doing.

  I cry out, unable to keep my voice down thanks to the pleasure he’s giving me. It isn’t long
until I hear him do the same. Unfortunately, all my orgasms make me want to do is fuck more, but the realization of where we are makes that mostly impossible.

  “You know I can’t see you naked without getting a bit of you.”

  I take my hand and push his head back, so I can look him in the eye. “And I guess you just take what you want?”

  “You wanted it to.”

  “Shut up.”

  He grins and dammit, I can’t keep from reacting to it and the fact he’s still inside me. “You shut up, Zo, and just let me have my way.”

  I bite my bottom lip slightly then smile back at him. “Fine. Have your way with me, Parker, but you better make it good.”

  “Oh, I plan on it,” he practically growls as he wraps his arms tighter around me and takes the two of us to the floor.

  I WASN’T SURPRISED when Meredith went off on Parker. What I was surprised about was how easily some of my tan rubbed off. I honestly thought I was through my waiting period. I was told not to shower for a bit, which I could handle. She didn’t tell me not to have sex. I mean, what the hell? Luckily, she fixed me, and Parker gladly paid for it.

  I didn’t want to take a chance on my parents seeing Parker, so instead of having him drop me at their house, I chose a block over. I’ve walked these streets a million times and know everyone on the block. He was slightly worried about the Eli thing, but when I explained the situation, he dropped it. He can be such a pain in the ass.

  Nearing the house, I see Claire was right. The RV is parked proudly out front. They aren’t even trying to hide it. Maybe they aren’t planning on trying to surprise me. Maybe they’ve simply stopped by for supplies or to check on the house. Who knows?

  I’m barely in the driveway when I see Dad come traipsing out of the garage, beer in hand and a smile on his face. He’s lost a bit more hair, but other than that, he hasn’t changed a bit.

  “I wondered how long it would take you to come by.”

  “I wondered if the two of you were going to call me.”

  “Well, that wasn’t my doing.”

  I watch his eyes dart toward the house. “We kind of had a mishap.”

  “What happened?” I ask. If my heart worked, it would be racing.

  “Nothing major,” he says holding his hands and beer up to signal he’s not hiding anything.

  “Is Mom alright?”

  “For the most part.”

  “You stop that!”

  Hearing Mom’s voice, I whip my head around to see her standing on the front porch. She propped up on a set of crutches and has her right leg in a cast up to her knee.

  “What the hell happened?” I question as I hurry toward the porch.

  “I fell. You know how clumsy I can be. I broke my leg and my foot. The doctor I saw says I’ll need to be in this thing for about six weeks.”

  “Yep, so we thought that meant we should take a break to let her recover,” Dad interjects as he walks up next to her. “And you said you would stay in the house to rest.”

  “Stop it, Steven. I’m fine. I heard Zoey’s voice and had to come see her.”

  I look back and forth between the two of them trying to keep my rage in check. “Yeah, both of you get in the damn house,” I demand. My voice is low and neither of them miss my anger. “We’re going to talk about how when you break something, get hurt, or get sick, you immediately call your daughter.”

  Without missing a beat, my dad looks at my mom and chuckles. “Listen to that, Vic. Our little Zoey is trying to sound like a badass or something.”

  Mom laughs with him then beams down at me. “Come on in, we just ordered some food. This Door Dash stuff is just the bee’s knees when you can’t cook.”

  Dad holds the door open for her as she wiggles around awkwardly on her crutches to get inside the house. He nods his head telling me to come too. I stomp up the stairs, my speech already playing in my mind. I know it won’t do any good, but by hell I’m going to try. I’m also going to use fussing at them for their actions as a way not to dwell on the fact they’re going to be home for six weeks. How the hell am I going to keep everything going on in my life hidden from them for that long? Especially, with Eli out there on the prowl looking for a way to get back at me. Dammit, this is going to suck.

  Chapter Six

  “You look amazing, girl. I love your tan. You need to hook me up with your specialist. She did an amazing job.”

  I wink at Dan as I whip Meredith’s card out of my pocket. “I knew you’d want her info, so I got her card.”

  “See why I love you, bitch.”

  I let Dan hug me, secretly hoping he doesn’t break anything or knock something loose in the process. When he lets me go, I discreetly do a preliminary check to find all parts are still in working order then slap on my fake smile. If there’s one thing the Ice Queen demands, it’s the fake ass smiles. We aren’t allowed to look all doom and gloom behind the counter. It would be true, but she wants to give these assholes who roll in here the illusion of happy campers.

  “Did you hear about Heather?” Dan asks me as he cleans one of the machines to make himself look busy while lurking near me.

  “No. What happened?”

  “The Ice Queen made Holly write her up for being three minutes late. The kid was outside. A customer had stopped her as she was trying to come in and was asking questions about lattes or some shit. The Ice Queen was here. She saw it happen. She didn’t have the balls to do such a shitty thing, so she made Holly do it. I felt so sorry for both of them. Holly felt terrible and well, you know Heather, she cried like a baby.”

  “That woman is a real piece of work.”

  “Yeah, I know. But what can we do? Revolt? Find other jobs? This place actually pays pretty good. I wish I’d gotten that job down at Destiny’s Donuts though. They all seem pretty great.”

  “They are. I worked there for a bit. Destiny is a great boss. Why didn’t you get it?”

  “She’d hired someone that morning. I didn’t go until I finished my shift here. I should’ve laid my ass out and went.”

  “Don’t worry. If things don’t work out here, I’ll put in a good word for ya at Destiny’s. She and I get along really well.”

  Dan’s smile could light up the shop. Just knowing he had an in somewhere else seemed to make dealing with the jerks here at the shop easier to tolerate.

  “Uhm, is that gorgeous specimen checking you out or me?”

  Hearing his question, I turn to look at what or who he’s referring to. Sitting in the far corner of the shop, holding a to-go cup is Ethan. His tight-fitting T-shirt is showing off all those muscles and I know, without him standing up, that those jeans are hugging that juicy ass of his just right.

  “That one’s mine,” I tell Dan then wink. “And trust me, he’s something else.”

  “You’re so lucky I’m in love, or I’d give you a run for your money on that. Damn.”

  Dan wanders off leaving me to debate how to handle the situation. The Ice Queen doesn’t like us chatting with friends at work, but it seems kind of strange for Ethan to show up here out of the blue. Taking a chance, considering the slowness of the hour, I step out from behind the counter and sashay my way toward Ethan’s table.

  “Well, well, look at you.” He smiles as he looks me up and down. “Decided to get a bit of color did ya?”

  “Yeah, since I don’t have time to tan like I used to, I went fake. Still works.”

  “Looks good as hell,” he says as his hand reaches out and runs down my leg.

  “What brings you into this hellhole?”

  “Mom needed me to make a run for her. I just thought I’d pop in and say hi.”

  “Uh-huh, what’s really going on?”

  “You’re getting to know me too well, Zo. But yeah, I wanted to ask ya something else. Turns out Mom wants me to meet a friend of hers. You know, a guy.”

  “Oh no,” I tease him as I act shocked.

  “Stop it. I’m not thrilled with it, but hey, whatever,”
he tells me as he rubs his head nervously. I immediately understand why he’s here. He doesn’t want to face this alone. “Anyway, I wanted to bring you along, if you were willing.”

  “When?”

  “Tomorrow night. She talks really great things about this guy, but you know how it is. I need to see for myself.”

  “Of course, I’ll go. I’m a great judge of people. I’ll know whether he’s an asshole or a good fit for your mom.”

  He grins and, in the background, I hear Dan cuss under his breath. No one, not even the happily engaged Dan, can deny Ethan’s cuteness.

  “They want to meet at seven. I can pick you up around six if that works.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll be waiting out front.”

  “Great. Now, get that cute little ass back to work before you get in trouble,” he tells me with a swat to my ass as I turn.

  I offer him one last wave over my shoulder as he gets to his feet then saunters toward the door. If there’s one thing I’ve realized about Ethan, he knows how great he looks in those jeans. I swear he takes his time moving, so the world can appreciate that fine ass of his.

  “Good Lord, Zoey. That man is built like a brick house. Where in the world did you find him?” Dan presses as I step back around the counter.

  “I first saw that fine ass at the animal sanctuary unloading feed. It was a glorious moment.”

  “I’m sure. And...”

  “And, well, things just kind of happened and...wow. That’s all I can say. Wow.”

  “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have your life. Well, not really. You know what I mean,” Dan tries to explain nervously. The last thing he wants is for me to think he isn’t loyal to his man.

  “I get it. Calm down.”

  “Zoey.”

  I see Dan’s eyes widen at the sound of Monique’s voice from behind me. I toss on the fake ass smile and turn to face her. “Hey, Monique.”

  “We don’t chat with friends here at work. You’re still new, so this incident can slide. It doesn’t happen again.”

  I debate on biting my tongue and not arguing. I can’t help it, dammit. She’s such a bitch.