by Skye Warren
Love the Way You Lie
Skye Warren
Love the Way You Lie
A dark romance about the lies that lead us down…
I’ll do anything to get safe, even if that means working at the scariest club in town.
I’ll do anything to stay hidden, even if it means taking off my clothes for strangers.
I’ll do anything to be free. Except give him up. When he looks at me, I forget why I can’t have him. He’s beautiful and scarred. His body fits mine, filling the places where I’m hollow, rough where I am soft.
He’s the one man who wants to help, but he has his own agenda. He has questions I can’t answer. What are you afraid of?
You.
Thank you for reading the first book in the Stripped series! You can join my Facebook group for fans to discuss the series here: Skye Warren’s Dark Room. And you can sign up for my newsletter to find out about new releases at skyewarren.com/newsletter.
Enjoy the story…
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
—Robert Frost
Chapter One
I used to think there were things I’d never do. Never take my clothes off for money. Never sell my body. Never fuck a stranger just to survive. I’d never sink that low.
I’d rather die.
But it’s hard to die, to lie down and let it happen. Not to fight. Not to reach toward the surface for air when you’re drowning. It’s almost impossible. I’m proof of that. I’m a living example of how low a person would go, if they have to. If they’re desperate enough.
If they’re staring at the black barrel of a gun, counting their breaths.
I hold my breath as I sweep red across my lips, stark against powder-pale skin. My eyes are already finished with heavy gold liner and shimmery shadow. A stranger blinks at me from the mirror, her eyes wide. She doesn’t look sad. Or lonely. She doesn’t look terrified, so the makeup’s done its job.
On a Wednesday night, the changing room is empty. Even half-priced appetizers can’t keep the club full in the middle of the week. No one would dance tonight unless they had to. That’s why I’m here. Because I have to be. Like Candy, who’s onstage. And Lola, working the floor. We’re doing what we have to do. We’re counting our breaths.
I stand and shake out my wings, making sure they’re still in place, attached to my bra. It only has to last until I strip it off. The song out there is getting louder and faster, and I know it’ll be over soon. My turn next. Lucky me.
And I am lucky. I know exactly what the alternative is.
I smooth my panties into place, making sure they’re covering the important parts. For now. Panties is a generous term for the scrap of fabric designed to tear apart when I tug.
I turn—and freeze. My breath leaves me in a whoosh. Blue is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His thick arms bulge, stretching his T-shirt, tattoos covering the skin I can see. He’s ex-military, but whatever sense of honor he might have had is long gone. He’s still got discipline though. And power and force. He’s the club’s own mercenary.
How long has he been watching me?
I ignore the chill that slides down my spine. I ignore him as I walk toward the door. Maybe he’ll move and let me pass. Maybe he won’t harass me. And maybe pigs will fly. He grabs my arm.
Which is just as well. It’s not like I could have gotten past him without shoving him or something. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not suicidal. So I stand there with his hand on my arm, feeling creepy-crawly tingles all up and down my skin. I don’t look him in the eye. I don’t like seeing the darkness there. Instead I stare past him, into the dark hallway.
“Not even going to say hi?” He smells like smoke and sweat and alcohol. At only eight o’clock in the evening.
I keep my voice steady. “Hi.”
“That didn’t sound very friendly. You got a problem with me? Did I offend you in some way?”
Jesus, I don’t need this. The song’s almost over. If I miss my cue… I shiver. I can’t miss my cue. The hallway behind him is empty. Not that anyone would help if they saw. Ivan is the owner of the strip club, along with a cadre of other illegal shit in the city. He’s gone most of the time, so even though Blue is just a bouncer, he gets free reign. At least he does a decent job of protecting us girls.
Even if he is an asshole.
“I don’t have a problem with you,” I say.
He pulls me closer until my body is almost flush with his—and still I won’t look him in the eye. He doesn’t pay for that. No one does. They pay to touch me, to hurt me. To fuck me. They don’t pay me to look them in the eye, so I don’t.
His mouth is close enough to my ear that I can feel the whiskers when he speaks. “Then why don’t you prove it. Show me how friendly you can be.”
Gross. “I’m up next.”
His hold tightens, and I can already picture the bruises. When I’m at home, in the shower, I’ll wash off the stench of this place, the shame, but I won’t be able to wash off the dark shape of his fingers where they press into my skin. He’s imprinting himself on me, becoming part of me, and bile rises in my throat.
“I’m up next,” I repeat in a whisper.
Even Blue doesn’t want to anger the powers that be. I look up in time to see regret flicker in his eyes. He lets me go. “Later, Honey.”
I flinch even though that’s my name. Not my real name, but it’s what they call me here.
It’s who I am here.
When he steps aside, I hurry down the dark hallway. I’m almost more agile in heels than I am barefoot, from all the practice. There are lights on either side of the hallway, track lighting to make the walk feel glamorous or maybe to make sure we don’t trip in our stilettos. It feels out of place in the strip club, lighting up what is better dark, dusty corners and ambient shame. It reminds me of a landing strip—not in stripper terminology, but a real airstrip for airplanes with lights on either side to guide me. At any moment I could take off. At any moment, I could be free.
I have to believe that. It’s the only way to keep going.
And then I’m backstage, waiting. Trapped. The opposite of free.
I stand behind the curtains. Twenty years ago this area would be filled with stagehands and costume designers and performers waiting for their cue. But now there’s just me, shivering in the draft from the air-conditioning as the final strains of music fade away.
Candy slips back, skin shining with sweat and glitter, smelling of booze and cherries. She’s the prettiest girl here, except for the track marks on her arms. Except for the black eyes she has too often, ones she skillfully covers with makeup.
The opening notes of my song start playing.
“Depressing,” she tells me as she straightens the straps of my bra.
She’s never been a fan of my song selection. Apparently, blues is a downer.
“It has a good beat,” I say even though she’s right. Of course she is. She definitely earns the most of anyone here, and Lola earns more than me too. But if I can’t dance classical, I’ll at least pick something I want to hear.
She laughs. “A good beat? You still think this is about dancing.”
I shake my head, but I’m smiling. She has that effect on people, with her slutty schoolgirl outfit and pigtails. With her bubblegum-pop songs that she strips to. Branding, she calls it.
“What’s it about then?”
“About fucking, of course.” Then she’s gone down the hallway, heading toward the dressing room.
My smile falters as I stare after her. What’s more depressing than fucking?
I manage to push through the curtain only one beat after my cue. Not that anyone here would notice. Like she said, it’s about fucking. About being naked and for sale. Not about dancing. So I drop one foot in front of the other, making my hips pop with each step. A black satin bra. Panties made of black ribbon. It’s dark and sexy—and obvious. That’s fine with me. I’d rather be forgettable. I wish I could forget.
In the first moments onstage, I’m always blinded.
The bright lights, the smoke. The wall of sound that feels almost tangible, as if it’s trying to keep me out, push me back, protect me from what’s going to happen next. I’m used to the dancing and the catcalls and the reaching, grabbing hands—as much as I can be. But I’m never quite used to this moment, being blinded, feeling small.
I reach for the pole and find it, swinging my body around so the gauzy scrap of fabric flies up, giving the men near the stage a view of my ass. I still can’t quite make anything out. There are dark spots in my vision.
The smile’s not even a lie, not really. It’s a prop, like the four-inch heels and the wings that snap as I drop them to the stage.
Broken.
A few people clap from the back.
Now all that’s left is the thin satin fabric. I grip the pole and head into my routine, wrapping around, sliding off, and starting all over again. I lose myself in the physicality of it, going into the zone as if I were running a marathon. This is the best part, reveling in the burn of my muscles, the slide of the metal pole against my skin and the cold, angry rhythm of the song. It’s not like ballet, but it’s still a routine. Something solid, when very few things in my life are solid.
I finish on the pole and begin to work the stage, moving around so I can collect tips. I can see again, just barely, making out shadowy silhouettes in the chairs.
Not many.
There’s a regular on one side. I recognize him. Charlie. He tosses a five-dollar bill on the stage, and I bend down long and slow to pick it up. He gets a wink and a shimmy for his donation. As I’m straightening, I spot another man on the other side of the stage.
His posture is slouched, one leg kicked out, the other under his chair, but somehow I can tell he isn’t really relaxed. There’s tension in the long lines of his body. There’s power.
And that makes me nervous.
I spin away and shake my shit for the opposite side of the room, even though there’s barely anyone there. It’s only a matter of time before I need to face him again. But I don’t need to look at him. They don’t pay me to look them in the eye.
Still I can’t help but notice his leather boots and padded jacket. Did he ride a motorcycle? It seems like that kind of leather, the tough kind. Meant to withstand weather. Meant to protect the body from impact.
The song’s coming to a close, my routine is coming to an end and I’m glad about that. Something about this guy is throwing me off. Nothing noticeable. My feet and hands and knowing smile still land everywhere they need to. Muscle memory and all that. But I don’t like the way he watches me.
There’s patience in the way he watches me. And patience implies waiting.
It implies planning.
I reach back and unclasp my bra. I use one hand to cover my breasts while I toss the bra to the back of the stage. I pretend to be shy for a few seconds, and suddenly I feel shy too. Like I’m doing more than showing my breasts to strangers. I’m showing him. And as I stand there, hand cupping my breasts, breath coming fast, I feel his patience like a hot flame.
This time I do miss the beat. I let go on the next one, though, and my breasts are free, bared to the smoky air and the hungry eyes. There are a few whistles from around the room. Charlie holds up another five-dollar bill. I sway over to him and cock my hip, letting him shove the bill into my thong, feeling his hot, damp breath against my breast. He gets close but doesn’t touch. That’s Charlie. He tips and follows the rules, the best kind of customer.
I don’t even glance at the other side of the room. If the new guy is holding up a tip, I don’t even care. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who follows rules. I don’t know why I’m even thinking about him or letting him affect me. Maybe my run-in with Blue made me more skittish than I’d realized.
All I have left is my finale on the pole. I can get through this.
This part isn’t as physically strenuous as before. Or as long. All I really need to do is grind up against the pole, front and back, emphasizing my newly naked breasts, pretending to fuck.
That’s what I’m doing when I feel it. Feel him.
I’m a practical girl. I have to be. But there’s a feeling I get, a prickle on the back of my neck, a churning in my gut, a warning bell in my head when I’m near one of them. Near a cop. My eyes scan the back of the room, but all I can see are shadows. Is there a cop waiting to bust someone? A raid about to go down?
My gaze lands on the guy near the stage. Him? He doesn’t look like a cop. He doesn’t feel like a cop. But I don’t trust looks or feelings. All I can trust is the alarm blaring in my head: get out, get out, get out.
I can barely suck in enough air. There’s only smoke and rising panic. Blood races through me, speeding up my movements. A cop. I feel it like some kind of sixth sense.
Maybe he feels my intuition about him, because he leans forward in his seat.
In one heart-stopping moment, my eyes meet his. I can see his face then, drawn from charcoal shadows.
Beautiful, his lips say. All I can hear is the song.
I’m not even on beat anymore, and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because there’s a cop here and I have to get out. Even if my intuition is wrong, it’s better to get out. Safer.
I’ll never be safe.
The last note calls for a curtsy—a sexy, mocking movement I choreographed into my routine. Like the one I’d do at the end of a ballet recital but made vulgar. I barely manage it this time, a rough jerk of my head and shoulders. Then I’m gone, off the stage, running down the hallway. I’m supposed to work the floor next, see who wants a lap dance or another drink, but I can’t do that. I head for the dressing room and throw on a T-shirt and sweatpants. I’ll tell them I feel sick and have to leave early. They won’t be happy and I’ll probably have to pay for it with my tips, but they won’t want me throwing up on the customers either.
I run for the door and almost slam into Blue.
He’s standing in the hallway again. Not slouching this time. There’s a new alertness to his stare. And something else—amusement.
“Going somewhere?” he asks.
“I have to… My stomach hurts. I feel sick.” I step close, praying he’ll move aside.
He reaches up to trace my cheek. “Aww, should I call the doctor?” His hand clamps down on my shoulder. “I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
I grip my bag tight to my chest, trying to ignore the threat in his words. And the threat in his grip. I really do feel sick now, but throwing up on him is definitely not going to help the situation. “Please, I need to leave. It’s serious. I’ll make it up later.”
He’ll know what I’m saying. That I’ll make it up to him personally. I’m just desperate enough to promise that. Desperate enough to promise him anything. And he’s harassed me long enough that I know it’s a decent prize. I’m sure he’ll make it extra humiliating, but I’m desperate enough for that too.
“Please let me go.” The words come out pained, my voice thin. It feels a little like my body is collapsing in on itself, steel beams bending together, something crushing me from the outside.
Regret flashes over his face, whether for refusing my offer or forcing me that low. But this time he doesn’t let me go. “There’s a customer asking for you. He wants a dance.”
Chapter Two
The Grand used to be a theater, back when the city did more tourist trade than drug trafficking. Back when you could walk down this street without getting mugged. They held ballets and operas and one infamous magic show where a man was killed
by a faulty fake gun. Over the years the shows visited less and less. This whole part of the city became gutted, empty. Attempts to revitalize the theater failed because the good, rich folk who had money to spend on theater tickets didn’t want to come to these streets.
Now the building is just a husk of its former glory—faded metallic wallpaper and ornate molding with the gold paint scraping off. Tables and chairs fill the smoky, dark floor. There is a balcony in the back, but it isn’t open to the public.
The rooms for private dances used to be ticket stalls in what would have been the lobby.
They don’t have doors. They barely even have walls. The front window partitions have been ripped away, with only brass rods and velvet curtains to cover them.
The first is occupied by Lola. A flash of red fabric and a long mane of hair between the curtain tells me that much. And I know from her position on the floor and the soft groans that he’s paid for more than a dance.
The second room is empty.
The third room is the farthest from the main floor. The darkest. I can only make out a shadow seated in the chair. All I want is to get the hell out of here, but Blue is standing behind me, crowding me, and the only way to get space, the only place to go is inside.
I slip past the heavy velvet curtain and wait for my eyes to adjust. Even before they do, I know it will be him. Not safe, rule-following Charlie. It’s the other man. The new one. The one with the strange intensity in his stare.
I see the outline of his jacket first. And his boots, forming that same configuration—one leg shoved out, one under the chair. That’s the way he sits, almost sprawled on the uncomfortable wooden chair. He’s watching me. Of course he’s watching me. That’s what he paid to do.
“What’ll it be?” I ask.
“What’s on the menu?” he counters, and I know what he means. He means extra services. The same thing that Lola is doing now. More than just a dance. He looks out from the shadows like the Cheshire cat, all eyes and teeth and challenge. All he’s missing are purple stripes filling in.