by KT Strange
“Fuck that,” Charlie said, crossing over to us from the loading-bay doors. “Darce, I got our cash-out and sheets here.” Finn tucked himself in next to me beside the van as Charlie held out a plastic accordion folder for me. “Sorry, they forgot we had a real manager now.”
“It’s okay,” I said with a shrug. “Willa said she let the next venue know that I’m the one they’re reporting to, not you.” Charlie shoved his hands in his pockets.
“What am I going to do with all my free time now that I’m not handling the excruciating, day-to-day details?” he asked the sky, looking upward. Finn nudged me and when I glanced at him he grinned at me with a wink. I knew that wink by now. That wink meant trouble, but luckily not for me.
“Maybe work on your fretting,” he offered. “You totally screwed the bridge in Dirty Secret.” I felt Finn’s hand slip behind the small of my back, and curve around my waist. Charlie made an annoyed noise.
“I fucked up the bridge? Who forgot the words to the last chorus in Hopeless Beautiful?”
“Ah, yeah, that was my bad,” Finn admitted with a shrug. “I was distracted. Someone was hiding backstage, and her scent was all over the place, driving me crazy.”
“Oh come on,” I said, giving him a shove. He laughed and stepped away as Charlie eyed us both. “You’re not seriously blaming me.”
“Can’t help it if you’re a distraction, Llewellyn.” Finn went to grab me, and I stumbled back with a yelp.
“You guys are irritating.” Charlie crossed his arms over his chest, although the expression on his face wasn’t one of annoyance. Finn paused in trying to catch me and looked hard at his band-mate and pack-mate.
“Irritating? Seeing something you’re jealous of there, Gage?”
“Ha,” Charlie scoffed and turned on his heel. “It’s hard to be jealous of someone who hasn’t even made it to first base. Talk to me when you actually make a move.” He walked off with a snicker, to help Ace as the younger wolf crossed the long swath of loading-bay with three instrument cases.
“Asshole.” Finn watched Charlie go. “It’s not like he’s doing anything either…” he trailed off when he saw me looking at him. “Sorry. I guess we talk about you like you’re not here, sometimes.” It was impossible to stay mad at Finn. Between his baby-blues begging forgiveness, or the slight sheen of a blond stubble along his jaws, I was gone.
“Try all the time.” Charlie had been right though. Finn hadn’t made much of any kind of move, although we both knew where things were going, and I had a feeling the rest of the guys were waiting on Finn to take the first step before they threw their hats in the ring. That thought was terrifying and electrifying all at once. Was I seriously thinking about all of them? And me? Together? I’d moved so far past the realm of ‘appropriate contact with werewolves’ that I couldn’t even see the line anymore. I was tired of second-guessing myself.
“I’m really so—”
I never would find out what Finn was ‘really so’ about. I lifted myself up on my toes, and gripped the front of his shirt gently, before pressing a slow, soft kiss to his lips. Finn went still against me, his breath stopping, as if he worried if he moved that I’d bolt. When another moment passed and I was still there, his arms came around me and he turned us.
My back hit the side of the van, the cold metal leaching heat through my clothes. But the front of me was warm, so warm, as his lips slid over mine and he groaned, deep in his chest.
I heard the soft whistle and a smattering of clapping, but I ignored it in favor for letting myself get lost in the slow heat of Finn’s kisses. He pulled away with a ragged breath, caging me against the van between his arms, blocking me from turning my head to look for any of the other guys, as if I’d want to. Their low murmurs were carrying over to us, but I knew deep down they were just giving us time to be, to explore this small thing that was blossoming. There was a frantic energy among them, like Finn had to be the first one to cross the threshold, tentative and unsure. They’d been through so much... it made my heart ache for them.
“You’re killing me,” he whispered, his thumb coming up to smooth over my lower lip. “I never know what’s going on in your head.”
“Good.” I gave him a cheeky little smile that melted when his brow furrowed. “No, no,” I said gently. “I was just teasing.” His eyes darkened, and his expression shifted.
“Oh you think that’s funny?” He crowded me closer against the van, until I almost couldn’t breathe, trapped between metal and two hundred-something pounds of muscle and sexy determination. “You like teasing, Darcy?” His thumb trailed over my lower lip again and dragged down over my jaw, to the soft hollow at the base of my throat. “You’re gonna get what you give, sweetheart. I can tease too, and I promise you, you don’t wanna play that kinda game with someone like me.”
My eyes searched his face as his thumb tucked under the neckline of my shirt, pulling it down. The lace edge of my bra showed, and his breath hitched.
“What if I like to live dangerously?” This was it. I was standing on the edge of who I’d been: a care-free mundane with a past she was leaving behind. The next moment was going to push me into a new world, a new path, that I could never come back from.
The only problem was that I didn’t care. Before she’d passed, my grandmother, another lightning witch like me had pulled me aside and told me to always trust the feeling inside of me. “That’s the source of your powers, Darcy, no don’t shake your head at me, girl. You may be no good at casting now, but I promise that one day, the lightning will come, and if you’ve learnt to listen to your heart, you’ll be able to call on it and control it. The fates wouldn’t have you any other way than how you are now, your silly mother and father be damned.”
“Is that what you think?” Finn’s hips rolled into mine and I gasped. I could feel the hard length of his cock, firm, against my belly through our clothes. “You think you like danger?”
“Uh huh.” I struggled to keep it together when he rocked his hips again, a smirk sprawling across his lips.
“I think you don’t even know what you like,” he said. His head bent down and he pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. My eyes fluttered shut and I clung to him. “How many guys have done this to you? You shiver every time I come close, and I think it’s ‘cause you’re not as sure about what comes next as you’d like to pretend.”
Bang!
The metal underneath me vibrated as someone slammed the two back doors on the van shut. I peeked over the top edge of Finn’s arm and saw Eli standing there.
“Get off her,” he growled. “Are you a fucking idiot?”
I felt Finn tense, and he shifted his weight, forcing his hips in tighter against me. The guys were silent, Ace, Cash, and Charlie filtering around us as if I wasn’t being pinned up against the van and the two twins weren’t showing down.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna make me stop now. You know this has been simmering for weeks. This isn’t stopping—”
“Shut up and listen.” Eli marched over to us and grabbed Finn by the shoulder, pushing him away from me. Cold air rushed against my front.
“Hey,” I snapped. Eli looked over his shoulder at me. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here. Seriously, I’m sick of it.”
Eli made a frustrated noise.
“That’s not—”
“Yes it is. You keep talking around me like I’m invisible, or like I can’t hear you.” I shoved my hand against his chest, pressing in close and getting between him and Finn. I felt a hand ghost down my back, and for a moment it was like I was being sandwiched up between the two of them. A shudder of heat ran down my spine and coiled at the base of it, humming through my blood. Not now, I ordered my rebellious body.
Eli’s lips parted, and his pupils dilated. He looked like he was inhaling... he pulled away abruptly.
“Get in the van,” he ordered us both, and without another word or explanation, he stalked around the van to the driver’s side. I gave Finn a lo
ok and I could tell that he was trying not to laugh.
“Uh,” he said, dropping his voice down, “don’t feel bad. It’s not you. I mean, it’s you, but not what you think. It’s just that, please don’t get mad, seriously, cause normally we don’t tell girls this cause they freak out if you even hint that they smell.”
“Do I smell?” I hissed, not wanting to do an under-arm check in front of him but suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
“Not in the way you’re thinking. C’mon, get in.” He helped me into the van. Charlie and Ace were sitting in the middle seats, courteously leaving the back bench for me and Finn. I could hear Cash up front, murmuring to Eli, low and quiet.
I tucked away the plastic accordion folder with our night’s cash-out. Somehow I’d managed to hang onto it even through everything that had happened, and figured that was an additional point towards me as a competent band manager. Never mind that I was quickly starting to fall for my ‘clients’.
“We’re gonna need to stop at a bank to do a deposit drop,” I said to the back of Eli’s head. He stiffened but nodded. I fell into my seat with a sigh, Finn settling in next to me. My stomach shivered as we pulled out of the loading-bay lot. Would every roll out effect me the same way? Everything about tour was exciting and new.
“Every person has a unique scent. And that changes, depending on how they’re feeling,” Finn explained with a shit-eating grin on his face. “You, well. Heh.”
“Oh god,” I whispered and covered my face with my hands. “No. No, no.”
“It’s not bad.” Finn’s arm snuck around my shoulders. “It’s very... it’s sweet.”
I peeked out at him from between fingers.
“Really?”
“Yes, really, what, no-one’s ever told you that before? I mean no human or witch has the senses like we’ve got, but still.” His fingers teased along my arm, sending little tremors of electricity. Eli’s interruption hadn’t changed the rising feeling inside me, the tight feeling that I wanted to desperately snap.
“No, no one’s ever told me I smell good when I’m turned on. I’ve not really...” I turned my face away, hiding a flush. Sure, I’d had a boyfriend, it was almost expected I’d have one, especially as a child of a council family. It was almost demanded that we marry within our rank, to another council family offspring, or someone well-heeled and well positioned enough. My boyfriend at the time, Creston, had always wanted more from me than the few heated kisses we’d shared, but I’d known I wasn’t ready. Maybe my sister was an easy pushover, and cause she’d married his older brother, Creston thought I’d be as easy to push around too, but the harder he’d pressed the issue the more I’d shut down.
“Really?” I felt Finn’s eyebrows raise more than saw them. I didn’t have to look, I could hear the skepticism in his voice. “Like you’re all, pure, untouched, virginal? Really?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” I asked finally getting exasperated enough to look up at him. He shook his head.
“Nah, you’ve been resisting me plenty hard,” he said. “I was surprised, that’s all. You’re not exactly a prude but—you know it doesn’t matter right? Not to me, not to any of us.”
My cheeks were burning hard. This was not a line of conversation I was ready for, although if I couldn’t handle talking about it, how was I going to handle it when we finally had a quiet, uninterrupted moment and things went beyond a few kisses? I knew that’s where we were going to end up, and I wanted it, so badly I ached.
“I guess my sister scared me shitless when she told me how bad her first time was,” I admitted. “So when my boyfriend at the time wanted to have sex, I wasn’t uh, that excited about it.”
Finn pressed his lips together, looking less than impressed.
“It doesn’t have to be bad,” he said, and he nuzzled the top of my head in a move so affectionate, it made me wish I could crawl into his lap. “It doesn’t have to hurt. Not always, not every girl anyway.”
“Done a lot despoiling of virgins?” I asked. He chuckled.
“A few. It happens when you’ve lived for over half a century,” he said his word slowly, and he must’ve been expecting me to react badly to the fact he wasn’t some sort of vestal virgin.
“Mmm,” I said, closing my eyes and resting myself against his shoulder. “Well, at least I know I’m in good hands.” I felt him tense under me, but honestly, even if he wasn’t a long-lived werewolf, he was in a band. And band guys slept around. A lot. It didn’t bother me.
After a long moment, Finn murmured into the top of my head,
“I’m gonna show you, real soon, what kinda hands you’re in.”
Eighteen
I slept forever it felt like, and barely noticed when someone moved me gently, tucking me under a blanket after the tour van stopped moving. There were soft whispers in the night, low murmurs, the guys talking. All of the noise was at the edge of my dreams.
I woke up to warmth of sunlight splashing across my body, the smell of coffee, and the scent of the grass beyond it. A cool breeze filtered in, bringing the fresh air and rousing me. Sitting up, I noticed the side door to the van was open, and Charlie sat in the driver’s seat, his feet up on the dash, reading on his phone and drinking a coffee. The van was empty other than that.
“What?” I asked as I knelt and stared out the windows. We were parked at the edge of a lakeside beach, the sand reaching down pale and pebbled fingers to the water. A long line of darker sand marked where the tide lapped as it rolled in.
“The others are washing off,” Charlie said, pointing down at the body of water we’d camped by. It was a largish pond, more of a lake. I saw them then, four heads, all wet, their hair plastered down against their skin. Eli stood up in the water, droplets cascading down his back. He shook his head, blond hair sending off a mist of water and fluffing up, messy and disheveled. Finn, beside him, laughed and tackled him. They went down with a splash.
“Don’t tell me you guys wash off in lakes and streams, like some kind of raw mountain-men,” I drawled. Charlie raised his cup of coffee to me, not looking away from his phone.
“You can take the wolf away from a heartstone, but you can’t take the—” He paused. “Never mind, that doesn’t make sense. Ignore me. You sleep okay?” He moved back to me, sitting on one of the middle captain chairs. He reached out, tousling my hair. His fingers lingered for a moment. “We were worried the music would do stuff to you again.”
“No, I was okay. I mean, I felt, well, something, but not like the house party.”
He looked relieved at my answer.
“I’d have thought that guys would be really into something that made chicks desperately want them,” I said, and immediately regretted it. Charlie scowled as he put down his coffee. His glare was a terrifying expression on his normally cheerful face. But when he spoke, I knew he wasn’t mad at me. He leaned forward toward me.
“Any guy who takes advantage like that is a dog, and I don’t mean like us,” he growled. “When I take you, Darcy, and I’m gonna because this thing we’ve all got going on, it’s happening, whether any of us want it to stop or not. When I take you? You’re going to want me, every inch of me, because I’ve gotten you so riled up you can’t stand it. Riled up the normal way, with my lips, my tongue, my teeth. My hands all over you until you’re begging for some relief. Got it?”
I couldn’t breathe. Not because the images his words had conjured up were too much for me to handle, but because I was hungry, my body was hungry, for more.
“I—”
“Yeah, you. I’m being polite, letting Finn ease you in because he’s no slouch in the sack, and he’ll be good for you, gentle even, but when you want playful, you want rough? Charlie Gage’ll set you right, and make sure you know the meaning of good, old fashioned, American fun. Plus, I think you’re still shit-scared of what being with all of us means.”
“No, I’m not,” I said. He raised his eyebrows, skeptical.
“Uh huh.” He grabbed hi
s coffee and took a long sip.
“Really, I’m not.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he said. I stood up and took the two steps over to him, plunking myself down in his lap. This close, I noticed his brown eyes had gold flecks in them, and he hadn’t shaved that morning, the dark line of shadow rolling along his upper lip and winging along his jaw.
I leaned in and kissed him. His arm was around me in an instant, and I could feel the cool outline of his phone on my hip. I couldn’t help the smile that curved against his mouth, he had a serious technology addiction. He groaned into my lips, pulling me tight into his chest.
“I’m not convinced,” he breathed the words out hard. “Need more proof. Scientific, empirical evidence.” He kissed me back, his coffee disappearing and his hand splaying wide against the back of my neck. When my fingers braced against his chest, and my nails scraped down to where I could feel his nipples were hard under his shirt, he dropped his phone. Excitement thrilled through me, and I felt powerful, for the first time in maybe ever.
Sure, maybe they were without their heartstone now, and not as strong as they had been when they’d had it, but they were still werewolves. Charlie was strong; I could feel the wiry thick muscles under my fingernails as I scratched at him, and I was controlling him, making him want me so bad he couldn’t think.
We parted, breathing heavily. He stared at me, blinking hard.
“I’m a good man,” he insisted. “Finn’s first. You can’t take us all at once, it’d be too much; it’d overwhelm you.”
“You guys keep making decisions for me, and I’m gonna walk,” I threatened although I didn’t mean it.
“Bullshit. You’re wrapped up in us, Darce, you own us. We’re yours right back. You know it in your heart.” He leaned in close, inhaling me deep, his nose sliding along my neck to my ear. His teeth grazed my earlobe and a whimper escaped my lips. “You’ve changed, it didn’t take long, but your scent changed too. You smell like us, like pack.” I gasped when he bit, softly at first, then a little harder. It hurt for a moment, and I whined. He let go and kissed and licked at my ear until I was shaking in his arms.