Nate

by Tijan

  Ricci swore. “Okay.” She tightened her hold on the bag she was carrying. “I’m sending Emily ahead, then I’ll pull my car around to the studio. You go and look through it now.”

  “On it.”

  Ricci went out the back door. I shut it behind her, then turned to sprint through the front door and across the lawn to my studio. I was crashing through the door as I heard gravel under tires.

  Turning, I felt my entire body seizing up, but it was Emily driving my car.

  Oh, thank God.

  I waved as she went past.

  She gave me a jerky wave back, and I could see her arms trembling, but she kept going.

  She kept going. That was all that was important right now.

  Ricci wouldn’t be long behind her.

  I needed to make this fast.

  When I was inside, I had a moment.

  Everything slowed, though I was moving at the same pace.

  I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears, and a wave of emotions rose. They were in my chest, my throat, they were spilling out of me.

  I had danced in this room since I was eight years old.

  When I was six, I started dancing, then Duke had this built because I was voracious in my appetite. He was tired of hearing my tapping shoes through the house. I stood there, the mirrors surrounding me on the wall chambers, and I had memory after memory blasting me.

  My hand on the barre.

  My first tutu.

  The first time I stood on my toes.

  The icing of my toes.

  The blood.

  The pile of hairpins on the floor.

  The bandages.

  The sports tape.

  More icing.

  The instructors I had. So many. They came in, they exited, and I had another who would comply with my father until they spoke against him. Then a new one would come, and it would repeat over and over throughout my life.

  Junior high.

  I had my thirteenth birthday party here.

  High school.

  Then my summers between after I went to a dance school.

  My summers during college.

  My holidays during college.

  I grew up in this room, almost more than I grew up in the house.

  This was my house.

  The loft above where I did everything. The nights I slept there.

  The days I napped there.

  When I laid and listened to music.

  I made out with a few boys up there, too.

  Then the days I had Nova in here with me.

  Her high shrieks filled the room. Her giggles.

  Her crawling. Then her walking. Then her running.

  I was crying as the time came back to me, and I knew there was really only one thing I needed from this room. I grabbed the picture of Nova in her first tutu for a baby. I held her hands as she walked wearing that tutu, and Emily had taken the photograph.

  Ricci was waiting for me, scanning my face as I walked to her SUV.

  “You ready?” she asked as I got inside.

  We would be fine.

  I felt it in my bones.

  A calm settled over me.

  I would freak out in a minute, but for now, there was a deep feeling this was right.

  I nodded. “I’m ready.”

  16

  Nate

  Aspen was next to me when the nanny showed up first. She pulled into the driveway, and we waited.

  We waited some more.

  And more.

  Aspen shifted. “She’s never been here before?”

  I moved forward. “Right. I’ll go and help.”

  Aspen moved with me, passing me, and as we both approached what I could now recognize as Quincey’s car, the lady driving was definitely not Quincey. I knew the plan. Aspen stood in front of the car, the headlights still on and blasting her. She waved, wearing a tentative smile.

  I knocked on the passenger window, leaning down.

  The lady looked scared out of her mind. Her hands were shaking, but she rolled the window down.

  “Emily, right?”

  She moved her head up and down, her hand going back to gripping the steering wheel.

  I looked at the back seat, seeing Nova there. “This is my sister.” I nodded toward Aspen, who was probably the closest person to define what an angel on Earth looked like. She was soft and warm and smiling, and people generally melted into puddles at just meeting Aspen. “If you’d like, she’ll take Nova in? I’ll carry all the bags. You can go in with her and start to get settled in?”

  Aspen was still smiling, but now rocking on her feet. Her blond hair up in a braid and without make-up she looked twelve.

  Nova was starting to cry.

  I moved to the back door, but the nanny cried out, “Wait! I—”

  Aspen was starting to come around to my side. We both paused.

  The nanny seemed frozen in place, staring at us. Her eyes were as big as saucers. “Can I…I know you’re Nova’s father, but can I take Nova inside?”

  I eyed her. She didn’t look able to stand on her own.

  “Um. How about you try carrying your purse first? I swear my sister is safe.” The reassurance sounded outrageous, but I’d been cautioned what to expect from this move. Duke Royas was the peak definition of a narcissist. Those leaving him might feel as if they were leaving an abuser at some point, and at that moment, I believed what I’d been told. This nanny was so frightened, she looked ready to piss herself.

  “No. I—” She turned the car off and was scrambling to get out.

  The doors unlocked, so I moved before she could.

  She was running around the car. Abruptly halting in front of me, she had to catch her breath. She tried to get between Nova and me, but I was already leaning in and starting to unbuckle my daughter.

  “Let me. Please. I—just let me take her.”

  I moved, placing two hands on her shoulders. I could feel her entire body shaking. “Emily.” I moved my face so I could see her eye to eye. She gulped. Her eyes were bugging, moving all over the place. “I’m not saying this to be insulting, but you are not capable of carrying my daughter right now. I am calm. You are not. Aspen is equally calm as well.”

  “I am. I totally am.”

  I was trying to steady this nanny just by my touch. “Quincey is coming. She won’t be long behind you, but until she does, I’m going to let Aspen carry Nova inside. You can stay with her at all times, but my sister will be holding my daughter. I’ll be bringing in all the bags. Okay?”

  She looked ready to argue.

  I was going to have to be firmer. “There’s no area to discuss this where the outcome is any different. I’m sorry, but I won’t allow you to touch my daughter in your current state. Hell, you probably shouldn’t have even been driving her. What I’m trying to say is that you need to settle first.”

  Aspen stepped up. “Hey. How about we do this? You and I walk inside together, and Nate will bring Nova? We can all hang out until Quincey arrives with the rest of the stuff.” She flashed me a gentle smile, her eyes flashing as she took hold of the nanny and began to usher her backward and out of my hold. “There’s no hurry with the bags. We can carry them in later; all we need is Nova and a diaper bag.”

  She was right.

  Emily was letting herself get walked inside, but at the door, she cast another worried look over her shoulder.

  I dipped my head down. “I got Nova. I’ll be right in.”

  Turning, Nova had her penguin half stuffed into her mouth.

  I chuckled, bending down and undoing the seat belts. Lifting my little girl in my arms, I welcomed her, and I smelled her little smell. Baby wipes. That shit should be sold as perfume. I juggled her up and down, just a little bit, and she started giggling, thrusting the penguin at my face.

  “Hey, hey. What’s this? I thought we were friends?”

  “Ayayayay mmmbubueeel penna.”

  “Yep. I so agree.”

  * * *

/>   It wasn’t much longer before an SUV’s lights hit the house, and they pulled up next to Quincey’s car.

  Aspen had shown Emily to the area of the house where Quincey would be living. She came back, moving to my side as I was bouncing Nova up and down in front of me.

  “You know she can walk on her own, right?”

  I flashed a grin at my sister. “I know, but then she’ll be running, and I’m a new-enough dad that I just want to hold her. She’s letting me hold her, so leave me alone. These days are not going to last.”

  Aspen chuckled. “You’re already so wise, Ancient One.”

  “Watch it.” But I was grinning, and so was she.

  She got serious. “Val’s ex? Did you hear back from your PI?”

  I grunted, getting real serious myself. “Too many strikes against him, he’s going away for a long time.”

  “That’s something then.”

  “Yeah.” It was, but for thirteen months he’d been near Nova when I hadn’t a clue.

  I hated that shit, but there wasn’t anything to say, not anymore.

  We moved back to watching Quincey and her friend, whom I had only heard about, move toward the house. Both seemed emotional. Quincey was blinking back tears. Her friend looked like she was holding back some, too, but they seemed a bit steadier than the nanny.

  “They don’t look as bad as Emily.”

  I grunted. “Duke Royas is going to have the police here within the hour.”

  “You want me to get Logan?”

  Mason had to return to Boston long ago for his practices, but we all decided Logan should stay, and it was for this phase. Duke was going to throw everything he had available at us, but we had Nova. And now we had Quincey.

  “I think this is why Valerie did what she did.”

  It was just coming to me now.

  Aspen frowned at me. “What?”

  I was watching Quincey and her friend starting to load up with bags before carrying them inside.

  I stated, “She wanted me to get her away from him. She knew I’d move heaven and hell for Nova, but she wanted Quincey to stay with her. That’s why she left Nova to this aunt.”

  Aspen sucked in her breath. “What a risk, though.”

  “No.” No. It was ingenious, and something Valerie would do. Regret burned through me, but I let out a sigh. “Asp, I need you to entertain your niece for a while.”

  “Finally! I’ve been waiting for this moment.”

  After transferring Nova over to Aspen’s arms, I went and opened the door just as they were about to open it themselves.

  Quincey and her friend blinked at me, startled.

  I grinned. “You really thought we wouldn’t be watching for you?”

  Quincey ducked her head, but I saw her cheeks were flushed. The friend was gawking at me. Chuckling, I moved and hit a buzzer by the door. A second later, Logan’s voice came over the intercom. “You rang, Your Highness?”

  “They’re all here now.”

  He was silent for a beat, then all business. “Coming down.”

  Quincey and her friend took the bags farther into the house, then set them down. Quincey was eyeing Aspen, who was on the floor with Nova, but then she straightened and rounded right into me.

  I caught her shoulders, feeling her tense as she gasped.

  My hands curled around her. I couldn’t stop myself, but I was refraining from pulling her into my chest. Instead, my hand grazed down her arm, to her hand, and I took her keys from her. I ignored her friend’s little chuckle as I stepped back. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  Hearing Logan’s footsteps coming down the hallway, I motioned as he came within eyesight. “We’ll carry everything in. Aspen can show you where you’ll be staying.”

  Logan raised a hand. “Yo. Armed and ready for some fireworks.”

  The friend groaned. “Again. They all look like that?”

  Aspen shot her a grin.

  Logan just smirked.

  I shared his look. “You’ve matured. No comeback?”

  He tsked me, frowning. “I’m happily in love, my soul brother.” He raised his chin at Quincey. “When your dad calls, just hand me the phone.”

  “Are you serious?”

  He dipped his head down. “It’s why I’m here.” He clasped me on the shoulder. “Why he pays me the big bucks.”

  “Your retainer is still being debated.”

  He laughed, his fingers curling in on me before letting go. “How about whoever carries the most bags in only has to pay me a third of what I quoted them?”

  I snorted. Logan wasn’t going to charge me for this, and we both knew it.

  17

  Quincey

  They were laughing.

  I was dumbfounded.

  How could they be laughing at a moment like this? That wasn’t rational.

  I turned to Ricci. “Have I made a mistake? I have, haven’t I? Oh my God. What are we doing? How do we get out of this?”

  Ricci shared a look with Nate’s sister before moving toward me and curling an arm around me. “Okay. Normally, I wouldn’t recommend you have a drink, but I think tonight is an exception. And you heard Nate. Why don’t we hand your phone over right now? That way, you don’t even know when your father starts calling.”

  Oh God. “He’s going to send police here. He’s going to say we’ve been kidnapped or something like that.”

  “We’ll hold off on the booze until the cops leave then.”

  I was almost swaying on my feet.

  The police.

  We were here.

  Were we?

  Really?

  Yes. We were. I had to take a second because I was in shock.

  We were in a position where I was expecting red and blue lights to roll up wherever I was, and in my emotional state, they were coming to take me back to him. I knew rationally that wasn’t the case, but I wasn’t in a rational state right now.

  Trauma. That was the state I was in.

  Ricci was watching me with concern, and she had reason. I knew what I was feeling. It was something I’d endured through the years, but this was different. This was a break from Duke, and I was almost cursing over what a mess my life had become. Ricci didn’t—well, no one knew I’d gone to see a few therapists over the years.

  They were all paid for by Duke, so when my problems started to lead back to him, the counseling got cut off real quick. Still, there’d been one counselor who’d been so kind. Her office was in Portland, and I did the drive every few weeks to see her. I was sure she had moved down to California by now, or that was what her email said. It was a customary one sent to her previous clients, but my email had been bcc’d, so I assumed all the others were, too. I’d been sad to see she was moving, but she wasn’t too far away. She had followed up with me and given me lists of resources and other referrals to places I could go that weren’t paid for by Duke Royas.

  She helped more than the others.

  I shut it all down.

  In a switch, it had to go because I couldn’t live in that world any longer.

  I had shit to do and a child to take care of now. End it all.

  All that was gone in the blink of an eye.

  “Quince?”

  I heard Nova crying in the distance and moved for her. My voice sounded like it was coming from so far away, not from me. “I need to go to Nova. I’m sure she’s scared.”

  “Uh. No.” Ricci was frowning but stepped aside. “Nova’s here, and she’s happy as can be.”

  I heard a baby crying.

  Whose baby was that? But it didn’t matter. Nova was smiling and trying to pull out chunks of Nate’s sister’s hair. I thought she stopped doing that, but I guess she hadn’t. Now she was trying to put Miss Penguin inside Aspen’s head.

  I stepped forward, smoothly taking Nova to me and cuddling her against my chest. “Heya, little Nova Beanie. How are you doing?”

  She took one look at me and started shrieking.

  I closed my e
yes, leaning forward to rest my forehead against her shoulder. I wanted a second, one second, and then I’d let her down. She wanted to run, and she probably wanted to eat.

  “I have some milk in a bag for her.” I looked at Aspen. “Could we warm some of that for her?”

  Nova was still shrieking in my arms.

  Aspen and Ricci shared a look.

  “Uh. Quince.” They must’ve come to an unspoken decision because Ricci stepped forward and moved to take Nova from me. “I can see the kitchen from here, so how about I go and warm Nova some milk? Aspen will show you where your rooms are and everything. You can get settled in, too.”

  I was in a daze, but I noticed that Ricci was reaching into my pocket for something.

  My phone.

  She handed that off to Aspen, who tucked it into her pocket and smiled brightly at me. “For Logan. Just thinking ahead.”

  He would need to hear from me, though. That was my thought about Duke, about when he would call, but a wave of exhaustion hit me. Could someone be both ready to run a marathon and sleep forty-eight hours all at once?

  The front door opened, and Nate came in first.

  His eyes found me, darkening. His lips thinned, but he didn’t say anything. His arms were completely full of our bags. He deposited them on the floor and turned to head right back out. His friend was coming behind him, doing the same.

  Aspen gently touched my arm. “This way.”

  We had staff who did that stuff.

  I frowned, going with her. “I don’t remember the last time I saw my father carry someone else’s bag for them.”

  That was an odd thing, right? Was I wrong?

  I blinked a few times, noticing the hallway now.

  The floors were hardwood. The walls were painted white with no paintings or pictures. It was a bare wall, but all of a sudden, I remembered that he just bought the place. Hell, he was getting settled in himself.

  I hadn’t asked about the house.

  Was it safe for Nova?

  Had he baby-proofed everything?

  What kind of paint was on the walls? Were those lights LED?

  “Did Nate go through all the rooms here?”

  Aspen put a hand on my arm, and she must’ve heard the alarm in my voice because she said soothingly, “He did. We walked through everything together. We looked at every wall socket. All the furniture was bought with rounded and soft ends, and the ones that aren’t have been baby-proofed.” She stepped closer, making sure to look me in the eyes. “The house is safe. That was very important to Nate. I promise.”