Heartless

by Kate Rudolph

  “When did your eyes get red? Are you okay?” Quinn asked.

  Red? No, that was impossible. “It must be a trick of the light,” he said. None of the soulless had the inner fire that allowed their eyes to shift color when they felt strong emotion.

  Quinn looked at him, looked at his eyes, for several moments, but eventually shrugged. “Whatever. Did you need something?” And just like that, whatever connection had flared between them for a moment was gone. She hadn’t moved physically, but somehow she had put hundreds of kilometers between them.

  “We’re low on food. Not critically, but I’ll be making a stop soon. We don’t have many options in this sliver of space, but there’s an outpost not far out of the way of our journey. I thought you would want to know.” Message delivered, Kayde turned to go.

  “Thank you for telling me,” Quinn called after him.

  “You’re welcome.” He didn’t stay to chat, though his feet wanted to turn around and take him back to Quinn. He wanted to see if he could close that distance between them once more, wanted to see if she would open up and speak to him, even as he realized that he was the one who kept ending their conversations by walking away. A lifetime ago he had understood how to talk to people, had understood how to be a person. He would have to dig deep to resurrect the memories of who he’d once been. He wouldn’t be able to re-create that man, he couldn’t feel like he once did, but he could take the skills he used to have and apply them to the life he was living now. He could give Quinn a conversational companion, even if he could give her nothing else. She deserved the choice of whether or not she wanted to be left alone. She shouldn’t be forced to be alone because he couldn’t handle spending five minutes in her company.

  Kayde would dig deep, would do what needed to be done. He couldn’t change his past, but he could give her this. It wasn’t much, but it was all he had.

  Chapter Six

  BEZNIFA WAS NOTHING to write home about. That was Quinn’s first thought as she and Kayde climbed out of their ship. The spaceport was bustling with dozens of small craft and a bunch of aliens that she couldn’t identify. Mixed among them were Oscavians, humans, and a few other races that she had seen on Earth. The native population of Beznifa, the Beznens, looked kind of like humans. But their necks were too long, they all had pearlescent white hair, eyes that took up half of their faces, noses that seemed so small they were barely slits, and creepily long fingers. But they had two legs, two arms, and one head, and they spoke out of their normal-sized mouths.

  For a moment Quinn was struck by what a human from two hundred years ago would have thought about all this. Back then they’d all thought that differences in skin tone and musculature were enough to determine one’s superiority or inferiority. There were still echoes of those prejudices embedded in their society, but ever since aliens came to Earth, the small differences among humans grew smaller every day. Centuries gone by, a human would’ve looked at the Beznens in fear, only seeing the ways that the aliens were different, but when Quinn looked, she was relieved to see their similarities.

  “Is there a supply depot?” she asked her silent companion. In the day it had taken to get to Beznifa, Kayde hadn’t spoken to her. But this time it was a little different than the days before that. He didn’t seem to be ignoring her, he just didn’t know what to say. That made two of them.

  “According to the directory information, there is a market not far from here. We should be able to find everything we need.” His eyes scanned the perimeter of the spaceport, looking for threats, reminding Quinn that he was a warrior and that they weren’t on vacation.

  “Are there any points of interest? Fun landmarks? This is my first time off Earth when I’m not...” She trailed off, not wanting to remind him, or herself, of all that had been done to her.

  Her slip didn’t seem to affect Kayde’s mood. “We have a schedule to keep to. We should stay the night here to let our ship run its cleaning protocol, but we should not linger.”

  Of course not. They wouldn’t want to risk having any fun. Quinn kept those thoughts to herself. She and Kayde were operating under an unspoken truce, and she wasn’t going to be the one to break it.

  Open air shuttles manned by smiling Beznens took interstellar visitors from the spaceport to the market. She and Kayde climbed onto the small vehicle alongside two glowering Oscavians. She wondered if these men knew Nyden Varrow or Ambassador Yormas, but chastised herself or even thinking it. It wasn’t like she knew every criminal on Earth, and she would be offended if someone asked her questions like that just because she was human. The Oscavian Empire was much bigger than Earth, almost too vast to comprehend. Two Oscavians on a minor outpost in the middle of nowhere were unlikely to know anything connected to what Quinn and her Detyen friends were dealing with.

  She turned her attention to the streets of Pelinfa, the city they’d landed in. Dust seemed to coat everything, giving the world around them a slightly aged and yellowed look. The Beznens didn’t seem to mind; they walked around all smiles, greeting each other with nods and embraces. All of the buildings around them were single-story, and Quinn looked around for anything taller. In the distance she saw a collection of poles that had strips of cloth that could’ve been flags hanging off of them.

  Curious, she waved at their Beznen driver and asked, “What’s that up there?”

  The Beznen smiled and followed her finger. “That is the governor’s palace,” she—he? Quinn wasn’t sure—responded in her melodious voice. The words seemed to wrap around Quinn like a hug and she wanted to ask the Beznen more questions just to hear her speak further. If she were an enterprising sort, she might’ve recorded the alien and sold the files back on Earth to someone looking for a new kind of high. She was sure if she listened for long, that was what would happen.

  But Quinn didn’t ask any more. She settled back into her seat beside Kayde and let the rest of the ride go by in silence. Well, not complete silence. She nearly jumped out of her seat when a disembodied Beznen voice wrapped up around them, welcoming them to Pelinfa and entreating them to have a blessed and peaceful visit. The voice warned them that violence of all kinds was prohibited outside of designated areas and that the use of weapons was punishable by death. They were told that a collection of androids and willing aliens were available for any kind of desire and that they should inquire at the market for more information.

  Quinn’s veins turned to ice at that announcement and any magic in the Beznen’s voice dissolved. Slavery was a too common practice out in the galaxy, and she couldn’t help but imagine that she might’ve ended up in a place like this, a slave to any trader’s wants, provided as a perk of tourism.

  She practically jumped out of her skin when Kayde placed his hand on her knee. From someone else it might’ve reminded her of the things she was trying to forget, but Kayde only offered comfort and gave her a moment to center herself. She wanted to run through the marketplace and free everyone she found in chains, but there were only two of them and they were only going to be on the planet for a day. What kind of person did that make her? She had almost suffered the life she was about to be forced to witness, and she was about to do nothing to save the victims from it.

  Kayde leaned in close and spoke directly into her ear, his lips almost brushing against her skin. “I would offer to take you to a different planet, one that has outlawed slavery, but this was the only prospect on our entire journey. We have enough fuel to make it to our destination. We can turn around right now.”

  For a guy who didn’t seem to understand how people worked, he had read that situation correctly. “No, it’s okay,” she whispered back. “Let’s get this over with.”

  She didn’t see any slaves in the marketplace, and that almost made it worse, knowing they were there, that their suffering underpinned the economy of this little city and yet seeing no evidence of it. Talk of the trade already had her on edge, and as they passed more Beznens, both those shopping and those manning their stalls, she couldn’t hel
p but feel that something was off about them. No matter what they were saying, who they were talking to, or whether they were talking to anyone at all they smiled as bright as the midday sun. It was kind of creepy. And they kept looking at her. Quinn had developed a keen sense of figuring out when she was being watched. It had been necessary for her survival back during her days among the slavers, and every sense that she had picked up back then was ringing in her head, telling her that she had fallen under the eye of someone dangerous.

  But when she looked around, no one was looking at her inappropriately. Sure, some of the stall vendors were trying to get her attention, but that was nothing special. And then she realized that she was the only human in the market. Was that weird? It felt weird. Hadn’t she seen some people back at the spaceport? Or were they some other race that just looked human from a distance?

  “Do you feel like this all the time?” she asked Kayde, keeping her voice down. She didn’t want the people on this planet to hear her every thought, and the feel of eyes on her back was making her paranoid.

  Kayde looked up from the collection of fabrics he’d been examining. “What do you mean?” His eyes scanned the perimeter around them again. He hadn’t stopped doing it since they hit the ground, as if he were subconsciously sensing the threat that neither of them could see.

  “There aren’t any other humans around.” Only as she said it did she realize that it might be insensitive to remind him of the fact that he was one of the last surviving members of his race.

  But like everything else, Kayde didn’t seem bothered by that. “I highly doubt that what you’re feeling and my state are similar.” It could have been a rebuke, but she didn’t get any sense of censure.

  “In your state? What does that mean?” It might have been a trick of their translators—sometimes words got garbled—but they hadn’t had any communication issues so far. At least not when it came to words.

  Kayde looked at her for so long that the feeling of being watched started to fade as all of her focus narrowed in on him. “I meant nothing by it.”

  Quinn wasn’t sure she believed that, but she wasn’t about to get into an argument in the middle of the marketplace. When Kayde looked away, the feeling of being watched returned. “Do you feel—”

  “No,” he interrupted before she could finish her question. Was it the planet making Kayde snippy? Or was it just because she was seeing him around people now that she realized how cold, how heartless he could be?

  “If you don’t want to talk, just say so.” She was a little hurt from the tone that he took, a little put off. They were friends, or if not that, companions. And on this planet they were all each other had. He didn’t need to start acting like a bastard just because she’d asked a few innocent questions.

  “We should try to find a hotel or an inn for the night,” said Kayde. He nodded towards the horizon. “I don’t think we have much more daylight left.”

  “I wouldn’t mind getting off the streets,” Quinn said, taking one more stab at conversation. “Something about it... I don’t know, there’s something weird here.”

  Kayde did his warrior scanning thing again before looking back to her. “Weird how? What do you see?”

  “It’s what I’m not seeing that’s freaking me out,” Quinn admitted. “I just feel like everyone’s looking at me? Like I’m being watched. It’s like eyes are crawling all over me.”

  “Crawling eyes?” He might have been speaking in his normal monotone, but even she could catch the hint of sarcasm. Or maybe she was just reading into it.

  “So nothing feels off about this place to you?” Kayde was the one experienced in space travel, the one who had freely traveled to dozens of planets or more and seen so many things that Quinn couldn’t begin to imagine. “Maybe it’s just because this place is different from Earth. I’m probably overreacting.”

  “If you’re uncomfortable—”

  Kayde was interrupted from whatever he was about to say by a smiling Beznen wearing a bright red cloak and a giant gold medallion around its neck. His. All the Beznens kind of looked the same when it came to determining gender. Quinn realized that none of them had beards or breasts and that might have been why she had so much difficulty telling them apart. It was just another reminder that they were aliens and she couldn’t use her human standards to judge them by.

  “Welcome, welcome,” said the Beznen in that comforting, soporific tone they all had. “I have been greeting visitors all day and I was worried that I would miss you.” He held out his hands to Quinn, palms down, as if he expected her to clasp them. She glanced at Kayde to see if he had any idea what was going on, or if he knew who they were talking to, but her stoic companion was no help. “I am Yile, and the governor of this fine region has tasked me with welcoming all newcomers to our beautiful city. It is not very often that someone so exotic and radiant blesses our humble land.”

  Quinn darted a glance around, looking for whatever exotic, beautiful creature this guy was talking about. Could he mean Kayde? To her eyes he was definitely beautiful, or handsome, but Yile was looking right at her and the discomfort that she’d been feeling since they landed only amplified.

  “It’s... a good market you have here,” Quinn finally said when Kayde let the silence between them go on for too long.

  “Oh yes,” said Yile. “We may be small, but we sit on plenty of trade routes. Tell me, do you plan to stay long with us? There is so much to see, so much to experience here. Even if you would not know it from what we have on display.”

  “We’re just here for the night.” Quinn offered him a regretful smile, even if she wished they were going to the shuttle right now and about to head back to their ship. “I’m sure your planet is great.”

  Yile sighed. “Of course you haven’t decided to let us keep you,” he said, laughing for some reason. “Have you chosen your lodgings? I would be happy to provide recommendations.”

  “We have not,” Kayde said before Quinn could demur. She didn’t want this guy knowing where they were sleeping. There was something predatory about him, something that made her not want to turn her back.

  Yile clapped his hands together in delight. “You must take rooms at the Governor’s Inn. It is just down the main road and caters to all sorts of foreigners. I shall call on ahead and ensure that you have quarters for the night. Please give me your name.”

  Quinn opened her mouth to tell him, but the word wouldn’t come out. “I’m Q,” she said after what must have been an obvious pause. “That’s K.”

  “Wonderful, wonderful,” said Yile. “Identify yourselves at the Inn and you will be led to where you belong.” He made his farewells and left Kayde and Quinn to finish their shopping.

  Once Quinn was sure the Beznen was out of earshot she shot Kayde a look. “He was weird, right?”

  “He welcomed us,” said Kayde. “How is that weird?”

  Her companion couldn’t understand subtext to save his life. “It wasn’t what he said, it was how he said it. And there’s something in the way these Beznens speak, I’m not sure I like how it makes me feel.”

  “You feel different when they speak?” he asked.

  He didn’t? How could she even describe it? “It’s like a hug, and at first it’s all soft and warm, but then I remember that it’s a stranger that’s hugging me, and I never told them they could touch me. Does that make sense?”

  Kayde was silent, a clear sign that it didn’t.

  “Whatever, let’s go to the hotel. Maybe then this whole place won’t seem so creepy.”

  Chapter Seven

  IF ANYTHING, THE FEELING intensified once they got to the hotel. A smiling Beznen host directed Quinn to her room and instructed Kayde to remain at the front desk, promising that someone would be along shortly for him. She was being shepherded down the dark, narrow hallway before she could remember that they should make plans for dinner, or at least decide when they were going to meet up in the morning. She tried to get her guide to pause for a momen
t so she could turn around and speak to Kayde, but every time Quinn tried to speak, she lost the train of her thought and before she knew it they were standing in front of a bright blue door and the host invited her to enter and make herself at home.

  “A meal is prepared and waiting for you,” said the host. This one had not offered a name, and the dark light inside the hotel made it even more difficult to judge the correct pronouns to use. “Please make yourself at home.”

  Between one blink and the next Quinn was left alone in a small but finely appointed room. There was a soft looking bed, piled high with blankets and pillows that looked like they would suffocate her with softness. A small table pushed up against the far wall held the promised dinner; at least, Quinn assumed that was what was hiding under the opaque plate cover. An open door led to a small bathroom, and a soft robe hung on a hook, just tempting her to undress and get comfortable.

  Quinn reached out and ran her fingers along the satiny material. It was almost cool to the touch, which surprised her. She’d been expecting something like flannel, but things were not always what they seemed.

  She darted her head into the bathroom and was glad to see a nice assortment of toiletries. She hadn’t bothered to bring a bag down to the planet, hoping she could buy anything she needed at the market. But she and Kayde had arranged to have all of their supplies delivered directly to the spaceport and she’d been so preoccupied with the weird cloud of observation she’d been under all day that she forgot to set a few items aside for her overnight stay.

  Her clothes would survive another wearing. They were covered in that yellowish dust they’d been surrounded by all day, but though the dust made the planet look hazy, it hadn’t been hot, and she hadn’t even sweated much. Besides, who was going to judge her? Kayde? He’d seen her in much worse, and she had never felt self-conscious around him. Yeah, maybe sometimes she got the urge to pretty herself up and show off, but he never expected it of her, and he never made her feel like a slob when she walked around the ship in the pajamas she’d managed to scrounge up on her first day.