Prudence and Practicality

by C. J. Hill

  Mr. Collins, taken aback and uncertain what he had done to provoke such an energetic outburst, was at least able to ascertain that his beloved was out of temper and immediately wished to repair any damage caused by whatever he had said in the instance.

  “My dear! I did not intend to insult you, or the gifts from your family. I merely wanted to impress upon you how indebted to Lady Catherine we are, considering her condescension in so recently offering me the position in her parish and increased by her generosity in helping us in the first requirements of our married life. Of course, I understand that you want and should bring your favourite possessions to your new home, and I had no intention of discrediting any of them.”

  Mr. Collins finished in a fever of distress and mopped his beaded brow, mortified to think he had insulted his beloved, her family, and their possessions. He was somewhat bewildered. It seemed to be the case quite often, he reflected, that the conversation turned upon something he said, when his only intention was to impress.

  There was a small silence in the room as Charlotte regained her self-control.

  “I accept your apology, sir. I realise that you did not intentionally mean any disrespect to my family by comparing our furnishings unfavourably with those of Rosings Park. I assure you that I will endeavour to be as agreeable to Lady Catherine as she permits me to be; I intend to meet her with an unbiased opinion and a willingness to learn my position as the wife of her parson.

  “Come, sir. Let me show you the progress we have made with respect to the wedding arrangements and the transport of my things. Are you prepared for the homeward journey, sir? Have you hired a suitable carriage for so many boxes and trunks?”

  Mr. Collins willingly accepted her mollifying words and her offer of an inspection of his new possessions, and they passed through into the drawing room, where the boxes and presents from friends and neighbours were stacked up in the far corner.

  “Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to provide ten suitable carriages, if necessary, to carry my dear Charlotte’s valued possessions to Hunsford,” he hastened to assure her.

  Lady Lucas happened upon the two as they were inspecting a set of rather delicate crystal wine glasses gifted by one of the family friends, and she greeted Mr. Collins with a warmth that was forced rather than felt; much as she liked the thought of Charlotte married, the man she was marrying was hardly to be tolerated.

  “Mr. Collins! You are returned at last. We have been extremely busy since you left - as you see – I think that you will be relieved that all is almost prepared and Charlotte will be yours by the beginning of the year, God willing! How are the preparations advancing in Hunsford at the Parsonage?”

  “Madam, I am your humble and most grateful servant. I am utterly delighted at the progress my dearest Charlotte has shown me thus far and overwhelmed by the generosity I see from both you and Sir William and also from all of your neighbours. They are too kind and I intend to thank them personally before I return at the end of the week.

  “I have been explaining to Charlotte about the many improvements at the Parsonage that have been effected by Lady Catherine in such a short space of time. She has provided and overseen the placement of furniture and other furnishings and has been most attentive to the needs that Charlotte will have when she returns with me after we are married. Being a rough and ready male myself, it necessitated a feminine touch to improve my surroundings, and what condescension! Lady Catherine has even taken it upon herself, during my absence, to engage a maid to help Charlotte with the running of the house.

  “ ‘Mr. Collins,’ said she. ‘Let me put my knowledge to good use. Your wife will expect a maid to help her with dressing and so forth. My maid is indispensable to me, and I shall make certain that hers is just as reliable. Do not worry about the cost – I shall be sure to hire a young girl but one who has good sense and comes from a decent family of servants and so will know her place but expect only a reasonable wage. Leave it to me, I know what to do.’ And she would hear no more about it.”

  Lady Lucas was reasonably impressed – the mention of Lady Catherine made her feel her inferiority and considered anything that the lady did for Charlotte was, as Mr. Collins had pointed out several times, a great condescension indeed.

  They talked more over the presents, discussing how and when they should be used in the home and the apparent merits of everything. If Charlotte and her mother did but know it, Mr. Collins was in fact overwhelmed at such generosity, as he had never in his life been the recipient of such richness so kindly proffered; everything to date had been given to him in a miserly, ungracious and reluctant manner. His father had bestowed little on him, and that in such a begrudging way that he had become overly conscious of his inferior status. This new feeling of wealth and well-being was a novelty to him and the notion that he was soon to increase his standing through marriage to the daughter of a knight and all that entailed, brought him great satisfaction indeed; it seemed to atone for some of life’s past humiliations and served to bolster his confidence to an unprecedented level, even for him.

  The week passed intolerably slowly for Charlotte, as her constant proximity to her betrothed was, in truth, most trying; her mother took to her room as soon as Mr. Collins arrived each morning and she was not to be disturbed until needed for meals or consultation with a merchant. Although Mr. Collins was lodging at Longbourn, he ensured that he spent the best part of every day in the company of his future wife and new family. When Charlotte enquired about her friend, or indeed any of the Longbourn family, his reply was to the effect that they were in good health, as far as he knew, and that he rarely saw any of them as they rose later than he, and retired earlier.

  “I believe that I should have no company at all there, even if I did remain longer. They are all fixed upon Christmas and the arrival of their London cousins for whom I must remove myself in order to make my accommodation available.”

  Charlotte was a little troubled that she had not heard from her friend since their last meeting but assured herself that it was most probably a reluctance to be in Mr. Collins’ company that caused the absence. She was hopeful that her friendship would resume its former closeness as soon as possible; she knew how important Elizabeth would be to her sanity once she removed to her new home and she hoped for many letters from her.

  She slowly re-focused her attention on Mr. Collins who was, once again, discussing the arrangements for his return to Hunsford and the intricacies of the journey involving another cart which would carry the extra possessions.

  “I do hope, my dear, that the cart will follow closely behind and that it will not be too heavy and become entrapped in the mud. I am eager to begin the journey so that I can return to you with an uplifted heart ready for our nuptials. You are still certain that all will be in readiness by the beginning of January, are you not?” he asked anxiously, for the fifth time that day.

  Charlotte smiled and assured him, once again, that all would be in order and that she was as anxious as he to begin their life together, but anxious in different way, she thought silently.

  XII

  Much to everyone’s secret relief, Mr. Collins’ return visit was not prolonged by the vagaries of the weather; the morning of his departure dawned bright and cold with no adverse conditions to delay his journey. Even Lady Lucas deemed it prudent to quit her room in order to oversee the packing of the furniture cart so that nothing should detain him at the last. Charlotte was also abroad early that morning awaiting Mr. Collins’ arrival from Longbourn and advising upon the last-minute packing of her belongings, none of which she would see again until she was a married woman in her new home.

  Her writing desk had been emptied and its contents carefully wrapped and boxed up. The entire desk was wrapped in soft blankets to be returned to Lucas Lodge at a later date. The boxes of books, sewing necessities, china and linen were hoisted onto the back of the cart, and the trunks strapped onto the top. Finally, just before the journey was about to start, the chicken co
op with its new occupants was placed securely under the driver’s seat along with several baskets of food from the Lodge’s kitchen for the journey. Covering all, oilskin wraps were roped over and over to ensure protection from any inclement weather in the next two days’ travelling.

  Into this hive of activity walked Mr. Collins with his bag in one hand and his hat and cane in the other, having taken his leave of Longbourn with his customary propriety but with only Mary as his departure host; much to his consternation all other souls at the house had not felt it incumbent upon them to arise early for his farewell.

  He had been feeling somewhat slighted by this treatment at the hands of his cousins but upon approaching Lucas Lodge looked with approbation at the progress thus far. He immediately assumed the role of overseer by rechecking the knots on the ropes and issuing repeat and conflicting orders as to the day’s travel to the drivers.

  Immediately, all was chaos. The organised, orderly commotion that generally surrounds a major move had been replaced in an instance by confusion and disharmony. The driver of the cart was clearly annoyed at Mr. Collins’ pompous assumption that he was incapable of understanding the necessity of keeping up with the carriage; all of his assurances that he had much experience of house-contents moving did nothing to curb Mr. Collins’ anxiety about losing him, or the load, along the route.

  “Sir, if you don’t want me to take your belongings to Hunsford, just say the word. I got plenty of other work to be going on with, don’t you worry. I tied all them knots meself and I have never had anything fall out from under one of my ropes. I knows where I’m heading – been to Hunsford before now and I recall the road quite clear. But if you don’t want for me to do it then you just say the word. Might not be able to get another carter before the New Year, mind you, but that’s your affair.” He turned away angrily and spoke quietly to his horse who was chewing on his feed, heedless of the commotion around him.

  Mr. Collins refused to see the threat involved in the carter’s words.

  “My man, do not try to impress me with your impertinence. You are being entrusted with the carriage of my future wife’s belongings. It is an important commission both for you and for me. I would be mortified if anything untoward should happen to items so precious, belonging to one so precious.”

  Here, Mr. Collins looked with meaning and simpering devotion towards Charlotte who, horrified, was watching the imminent destruction of all of her and her mother’s best laid plans by her foolish, self-important future husband. Get another carter indeed! And over the Christmas period – how would that even be possible with so many men away and those at home busy with their own lives? No! She must intervene in order to avert any more insults being issued and feelings hurt. She hurried forward, smiling her gentlest smile at the carter and then at Mr. Collins.

  “Mr. Thom, we are both very grateful, of course, to have you assist us with our removal; after all, you come with the highest recommendations from Mrs. Briggs in the village. How are your wife and new baby, Mr. Thom? I do hope that they will not feel your absence too strongly over the next few days – I am so glad that they could spare you.”

  Visibly mollified, Mr. Thom answered in a calmer tone of voice.

  “Thank you, Miss Lucas. My wife was a bit sickly for a while but after the tonic and calves-foot jelly you sent around with Mrs. Dunn, she is as right as rain. And the child! Why, she’s as strong as a horse, thank the Lord above! We are doing very well thank you.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear! Now, what I think Mr. Collins wished to ascertain was merely that you not become confused regarding the route to Hunsford, as, I’m sure you have made many travels about those parts and could easily mistake one small village for another, could you not, Mr. Thom?” Charlotte enquired innocently.

  Mr. Thom agreed that it was possible that he might not remember exactly the route and went off to discuss it with the driver of the carriage, who had driven Mr. Collins out from Hunsford the week prior.

  Charlotte watched as Mr. Collins puffed and rocked on his heels, appearing to be rechecking the manner of the loading from his current vantage point. She decided to let him recover his temper and resumed her oversight of the activities, once again secretly wondering just what had moulded him into such a man, and whether that mould would prove to be too strong to break him from.

  Mr. Thom returned from his conference with the other driver, grinning with the knowledge that he had been correct in his placing of Hunsford in his mental map.

  “Aye, Miss Lucas. The driver and me, we’re of one mind about the route we will be taking this morning. And,” turning pointedly to Mr. Collins who was still somewhat detached from the group and its activity, “we would appreciate it if we could leave as soon as is possible on account of the weather and length of the journey, and not tiring the horses before we can change them. They don’t do well with all this standing about in the cold.”

  Mr. Collins bowed slightly in acquiescence and turned to Charlotte.

  “Is everything loaded my dear? Are you quite sure that nothing is being forgot? I know how overwhelming it can be to remove one’s belongings after doing the same so recently myself. Please remember that although you and I will be retracing my journey very shortly, we will be able only to bring the barest minimum of necessities.”

  Charlotte drew breath to assure her betrothed, once again, that all was completed but her mother preceded her.

  “Oh, Mr. Collins! I can assure you that Charlotte would require something a good deal more overwhelming than this to strain her reserves and fortitude. She has the highest level of patience and care. She and I have planned this move to the last degree and everything has been purchased and nothing forgot, you may take my word for it!” Lady Lucas was becoming increasingly irritated with her future son-in-law the more she saw of him.

  Charlotte smiled at him and bowed in farewell.

  “Mr. Collins, rest assured that everything to be transported is now loaded, and other final additions also. I wish you a safe and uneventful journey to Hunsford and anticipate your return in ten days when we shall be wed. I thank you for your concern and care over the transport of my belongings as I know I shall be pleased to see them when I walk into the Parsonage at Hunsford.”

  Mr. Collins bent forward to claim a kiss on his cheek from Charlotte, and, looking rather pleased with his audacity before his new family, he bowed deeply to each in turn, repeating his multitudinous thanks of which they had all heard just about enough.

  Clambering in his ungainly fashion into the carriage, he rearranged boxes from under his feet and leant out of the window waving enthusiastically as the carriage and the cart gathered speed down the driveway. Mr. Collins, desk, chair, chickens, and all, disappeared from vision.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, Charlotte and her mother turned back into the house, both feeling a deep sense of accomplishment that the onerous task of preparing and dispatching the possessions was completed, and that they could now enjoy a brief respite from the attentions of Mr. Collins whose company this week had proved on many occasions to be irksome to both ladies.

  “Indeed, Charlotte, I believe I can only tolerate so much excitement in one week! I am fatigued and will return to my room for the rest of the day. I need to gather my strength now for the Christmas season festivities.” Lady Lucas smiled faintly at her daughter as they returned through the main doors of the house.

  “Thank you, Mamma. You have been a source of strength for me over this tumultuous time. I had not imagined just how difficult all the planning and purchasing could be for a marriage. I certainly had no notion of how generous you and father intended to be; you have provided everything we need and we shall be quite settled.”

  “Well, be happy you have been allowed to experience it for yourself, and not just in the planning for your sisters. There was a time when your father and I were in distress about your prospects, but now all is settled, and very favourably too, I might add. A man of property Mr. Collins will be in due course whe
n he inherits Longbourn, and then how delightful that will be! To have my own daughter so close and well cared for! Why! I can hardly wait!” Lady Lucas appeared to have once again, due to his absence, overcome her aversion to her future son-in-law the instant she began to reflect on his better qualities.

  Kissing Charlotte on her cheek, Lady Lucas climbed the stairs to her room, and Charlotte proceeded to the kitchen to speak with Mrs. Dunn about the day’s menu.

  Much to her surprise, Maria was already there, fully dressed and deep in conversation with the cook. Breaking off their discussion, both women smiled and greeted Charlotte, Mrs. Dunn offering her a cup of tea which she gratefully accepted; the kitchen was such a warm and welcoming place after the early morning chill outside that Charlotte had not realised just how cold she had allowed herself to become while being distracted by the excitement of the morning.

  “Did Mr. Collins leave already? Without breakfast or any such thing?” Maria queried. “He did not come into the house to say farewell to us.”

  “It is of no consequence, Maria. Mrs. Dunn provided Mr. Collins and the drivers with so much food that they will not notice the absence of breakfast.” Charlotte smiled her thanks to the cook who merely nodded and turned away to clear a space on the large table in order to start her food preparations for the day.

  As she measured out the flour from a large earthenware pot, she asked Charlotte.

  “I was just talking over the day’s food with Miss Maria – she showed an interest and I thought I might as well since you are soon to be leaving us - I hope you do not mind, miss?”

  “Yes, Charlotte. I think I can do some of the work that you do for the family, I do truly. Mamma will need me to take over some of the responsibilities that you will leave behind. Although I do not really enjoy the prospect as you always have, I have come to the conclusion that I shall be much more useful and capable in my own home if I am able to run a household as you are able to. Fine manners and petit-point are very well in their way but I should like to know and be more than that I think.”