Red Hot

by Dana Dratch

  “So are you going to tell Dennis that this stuff’s history?” I asked Annie, when Gabby ducked into the kitchen to top up her coffee.

  “I’m thinking yes,” she said. “I mean, some of these people may not know Leslie even had anything on them. And others will realize that with her gone, the blackmail stops. So that’s good. But with Dennis, we know he’s still worried, and now we can set his mind at ease.”

  “I wish we could put up another flyer,” I said. “Attention, everyone Leslie McQueen was blackmailing: The stuff’s been destroyed. Have a nice day!”

  “With a smiley face,” my sister added.

  “Definitely a smiley face.”

  CHAPTER 54

  I agreed with Dennis. Now that Leslie McQueen’s reign of terror was over—and Oceanside was back up and running—I wanted to sleep for a week.

  But the little dog had other ideas.

  When I woke up the next morning, the sun was shining, the birds were singing. And Lucy was looking up at me with an urgent expression I recognized all too well.

  “You’ve been very patient through this whole rotten mess,” I told her, as I tugged on my jeans and grabbed one of the white T-shirts from my duffel.

  “Let’s get you out for walkies, and I’ll grab my coffee at the pool deck this morning.”

  Thanks to a sizable check from Oceanside’s association, the pool would soon be a sparkling blue. Which meant life was returning to normal. And the sooner we could get rid of that collection of bags in Annie’s hall closet, the better.

  I was beginning to understand why Leslie had kept the stuff in her storage unit. Housing even the shredded remnants of blackmail material in Annie’s condo was making me nervous. But they’d be gone soon enough.

  When I pressed the elevator button, nothing happened. The expression on Lucy’s face told me we didn’t have time to waste.

  “Freight elevator,” I said decisively. More like the fright elevator, thanks to the well-fed arachnids in the storage area. But beggars can’t be choosers.

  Even without Annie’s directions, I managed to navigate my way to the lobby. As we trotted through, I noticed the elevator doors were roped off, and there were “Out of Service” signs on each door.

  Odd.

  Turns out, I got Lucy to that patch of grass out front just in time.

  “Come on, little one,” I said, after she’d had a lengthy romp through the grass. “We’re going to have some fun today. We’ll go grab a coffee. Then we can meet up with your Gabby for a nice long walk through South Beach. And get some bacon and eggs. Won’t that be fun?”

  From the thoughtful expression on her face, I have to say Lucy—still sassy from her spa visit—did appear fond of the idea.

  Last night, fresh off our high from destroying Leslie’s illicit enterprise, Gabby and I had arranged to meet up and take Lucy for a long walk—and bring back breakfast. Later, we were going to the doggie salon to snap some pics and gather a little information for my travel piece.

  Finally, I felt like I could relax and let the vacation begin. Even if it was pretty soon time to head home.

  On our return trip through the lobby, I had to wonder: Had Dennis and Geoffrey inadvertently missed one of the bills?

  This time, I steered Lucy toward the stairs. We were only going up one flight to the restaurant. And at this point, I could use the exercise.

  I thought we were up and out early. But the pool cleaner was already on deck when Lucy and I arrived.

  Stan and Ernie were watching the show from the bar while having their morning orange juice. And providing a running commentary.

  “I hope he brought the super chlorine,” Stan said. “’Cause the regular stuff’s not gonna cut it. Course, chlorine’s only going to do so much. He’s gonna have to use the net first to strain out all the debris. When you have a pool, that’s the real enemy. Debris.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Ernie growled. “No matter how he tackles it, no way he’s gonna have it cleaned up all in one trip.”

  I had to agree with him. The water was now a brackish, piney green more reminiscent of a sludge pit than a swimming pool.

  “Morning, guys,” I said happily. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

  “You’re pretty chipper this morning,” Stan said. “Got a new boyfriend?”

  “No, I’m finally looking forward to starting my vacation. You know, spending some quality time by the pool. And at the beach.”

  “What have you been doing this whole time?” Ernie asked.

  “Well, I was kind of tied up,” I said. “With a work project. But now it’s pretty much finished.”

  And thank goodness for that.

  They both nodded.

  “Guess you heard the news?” Stan asked. “It’s all over the building this morning.”

  “News?” I’d been blissfully ignorant of Oceanside gossip lately. And after what I read in Leslie’s book, I kind of wanted to keep it that way.

  “It’s about Leslie McQueen,” Ernie said. “The police are here nosing around this morning. They’re taking another look at that elevator. They’re thinking maybe she didn’t fall down that shaft by accident.”

  “Nope,” Stan added. “They think the dame was murdered.”

  CHAPTER 55

  “Annie, we’ve got a problem,” I said, as I came flying through the front door of the penthouse.

  I unclipped Lucy’s leash and gave her a pat on the rump. “Go play for a couple of minutes. Then Gabby and I will take you for a nice trot.”

  She scampered off toward the living room.

  “What’s up?” my sister said, appearing in the hallway.

  “The police are here. Downstairs. Looking at the elevator. Stan and Ernie said the cops think Leslie was murdered.”

  I watched her face as she absorbed the news.

  “I’m thinking it’s pretty normal for them to investigate a fatal elevator accident,” she said finally. “The equipment might be faulty. And you’ve seen how gossip works around this place. Just because Stan and Ernie hear something or say something doesn’t mean it’s true.”

  “I know, I know. But what if it is? I mean, Gabby said it when we told her what was going on with Leslie. She actually said, ‘Are you sure nobody pushed her down that elevator shaft?’ Annie, you and I both know that a lot of people in this building had a reason to kill her. We had an entire book full of suspects. Along with pictures, audio and video tape. And we destroyed it. All of it.”

  “Look, remember what you said before? First, we find out what’s what. Then we panic. We don’t know anything right now.”

  “I know I want to get those garbage bags out of this house,” I said, pointing to the closet that concealed the telltale evidence of yesterday’s shredding party. “And I don’t want to carry them out in front of the cops.”

  “Look, we didn’t do anything wrong. All we were trying to do was return the money to Oceanside. We didn’t know she’d been murdered. And we still don’t. You can’t put any stock in the rumors around here. Otherwise, I’d be featured in Penthouse this month, and your friend would be a duchess.”

  “Not just in Penthouse,” I corrected, smiling. “Breaking the Internet.”

  “Well, that’s better,” she said lightly.

  “All I know is the minute I start to relax, something horrible happens. I mean, I broke into her home. And her storage locker. And I spent most of yesterday eating doughnuts and obliterating evidence. Now the one thing we do know is that the police are back. And they think maybe that innocent little accident wasn’t an accident. And you and I both know they have good reason to think that. And the list of suspects is going to be the resident roster for this building. How could this day possibly get any worse?”

  There was a heavy knock, and we both stopped, startled, and stared at the door.

  “Gabby,” I said, exhaling. “She’s meeting me to walk Lucy and pick up breakfast. You wanna come? Walking is good for burning off stress.”

  “
I’d love to, but I have to finish some paperwork pronto. It’s for a charity fashion show I’m staging, so I have to take care of it.”

  Knowing who it was, I didn’t even check the peephole. “You’re just in time, and I’ve got a little bad news,” I said, as I threw open the door.

  Nick, Trip, and Baba stood in the hallway, smiling back at me.

  CHAPTER 56

  For a split second, it didn’t even register. Kinda like when you run into your grade school teacher at the mall over summer vacation.

  In my dim, sleep-deprived brain, the three of them weren’t supposed to be here. They were supposed to be in Fordham. Or Baltimore. Or Georgetown. Or pretty much anyplace but a building where there was possibly a murderer running amok, Annie and I had just destroyed evidence, and the police were sniffing around.

  Suddenly a doe-colored flash streaked past my legs and jumped on Nick.

  Lucy.

  He hefted her into his arms, as she wiggled and wriggled and licked his face and neck.

  “Hey, hey, c’mon, you crazy little dog,” Nick said, strolling into the living room with his arms full of an ecstatic, squirming puppy. “Yes, I missed you, too. So, are you having a good time with your aunties?”

  “We would have called, but they wanted to surprise you,” Trip said, a gift box under one arm and a bundle of pink roses in his other hand.

  “Da!” Baba said happily, wrapping me in a bear hug. I noticed the familiar violet smell that was Baba. Ancient and tiny, coming not quite to my shoulders, she looked up at me, patted my back, and toddled over to Annie—wrapping her in the same full-body hug.

  “I’m surprised,” I admitted. “Totally blown away.”

  “Hostess gift for Annie,” my best friend said, handing me the flowers, while he deposited the box, wrapped in shiny red paper, on a side table. “So what’s the bad news?”

  “Huh?”

  “When you opened the door, you said you had a little bad news.”

  “Oh, the elevator’s out,” I said smoothly, carrying the flowers into the kitchen. “We’re gonna have to use the freight elevator for a few hours.”

  “See!” Nick said, turning from the center of the living room, Lucy still in his arms. “I told you there was a freight elevator. Nine flights of stairs. Nine!”

  “Good for legs,” Baba said, pointing at Annie’s photogenic calves. “See?”

  I grabbed my phone off the counter and punched in Gabby’s number.

  “Honey, I’m almost there,” she chirped into my ear through the cheap handset. “But the elevator’s out again, so I’m coming up the stairs.”

  “Actually, I’m going to have to reschedule my appointment,” I said neutrally. “My family just arrived for a spur-of-the-moment visit.”

  “Nicky?” she whispered.

  “Yes, I knew you’d understand.”

  “Gotcha,” Gabby said. “Call me when you get the all clear.”

  “Man, the little dog looks good!” Nick called from the living room. He deposited Lucy gently onto the floor. She stayed put, looking up at him adoringly.

  “She had a little spa visit,” Annie said, walking to the sofa with her arm around Baba. “Shampoo, conditioner, clip, nails—the works. A friend of ours recommended the place, booked her a spot, and chauffeured her home.”

  “The celebrity treatment—that’s my girl,” Nick said, fingering the leather band around Lucy’s neck. “Hey, you’ve got a new collar. Nice!”

  Trip, casually attired in a pressed madras shirt and whiter-than-white jeans with loafers, eyed me suspiciously. “OK, what’s going on?” he murmured. “And why are there cops in the lobby?”

  “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” I whispered. “I’ll fill you in on everything later. And trust me, there’s a lot.”

  My best friend grinned and shook his blond head. “Can’t let you out of my sight for a minute.”

  “For the record, I wanted to give you guys a heads-up,” he added softly. “But I was outvoted. I should have at least sent a text. So is any of the news juicy? Did we interrupt a hot double date?”

  “No such luck. The black cloud haunting my love life followed me all the way from Fordham. But Annie’s getting attention from some wunderkind with his own plane and an accountant who lives here in the building.”

  “Bite your tongue—Esteban’s just a friend,” my sister retorted. “And Geoffrey is, well, Geoffrey. I’m sure you’ll meet him later.”

  “How’s Tom?” I asked. “And where’s Tom? He’s not parking the car, is he?”

  At this rate, if people kept coming through the door, I didn’t know where Annie was going to put them all. Heck, I didn’t know where she was going to put the people who were here now.

  “Tom’s fine. The California hotel people were completely gobsmacked. So now he’s back to working his regular six-to-midnight grind while they hammer out an agreement. And I am blessed with an abundance of overtime. Which I was reliably informed by my boss I must use or lose. Hence, my sudden appearance in the southern climes.”

  “I’m really glad you’re here,” I said, hugging him.

  “By the way, I’ve booked into a nice little boutique hotel down the street. Close enough that I can pop over anytime. But they have room service.”

  “You’re just afraid you-know-who will try to cook,” I said sotto voce.

  “I am, she will, and I’ll show up regardless,” he said, barely above a whisper. “But this way I get to sleep in and have a little me time. By the way, the present isn’t from me. It’s from Lord Sir Bed and Breakfast himself.”

  “Did you scan it for bugs? ’Cause he really seems to like them. And how come he’s got you playing courier?”

  “Technically, he’s got Nick playing courier. And I think it’s his way of trying to apologize. Nick,” he called to my brother, “we’re double parked.”

  “You got it, mah man,” Nick said, ruffling the fur on Lucy’s neck. “OK, now you be a good girl and stay put. Daddy’s got to bring up the luggage. Then we’ll hit the beach.”

  “Here, take these,” I said, handing Trip my keys. “The fob gets you into the garage and opens the door to the service elevator. It’s behind the big blue metal door marked ‘official personnel only.’ Oh, and there’s no assigned parking. It’s kind of a free-for-all. So just grab a spot where you can.”

  Lucy followed Nick to the front door. When it closed behind him, she sat back on her haunches and howled.

  “Hey, it’s OK,” I said softly, patting her head. “He’s coming back. He’s just getting his stuff from the car. Honest.”

  Lucy looked up at me with those trusting black eyes. She stopped howling. But she didn’t budge from the door.

  “Baba, I’m thinking that you can take my room,” Annie said. “And Alex and I can double up in the guest room. Then Nick can have the pullout in the office.”

  “Bah,” Baba said, peeling off the black wool cardigan that matched her heavy calf-length skirt. “I take sofa.” She pushed on a couch cushion with her palm. “Firm. Nice.”

  Baba came over from Russia alone when she was just twelve. And while I was convinced she was plugged in in ways I’d never understand, her spoken English was limited.

  Not that it mattered. Baba never had any trouble making herself understood.

  Annie looked at me with a pleading expression. I rolled my eyes.

  “Show her the room,” I prompted.

  We each grabbed one of Baba’s gnarled hands and led her into Annie’s immense master suite. We sat down on the bed, and Annie hit the remote to open the blinds. Baba peered out the glass wall at the ocean.

  “Nice?” my sister asked.

  Baba nodded.

  “Show her the TV,” I said.

  Annie hit another button and a door rolled back, revealing a fifty-inch screen on the wall.

  “Watching Wheel of Fortune on this would be like having Pat Sajak in the room,” I said. “It’s practically life-sized.”

 
“And you haven’t seen the best part,” I added, tugging Baba’s hand.

  We walked into the massive bathroom. It was, honestly, bigger than my bedroom back home. The long marble counter had two sinks and enough counter space for the cast of Cats to prep their makeup. The toilet had its own room.

  On one wall, there was a glass steam shower with a full-length bench and more nozzles than a car wash. But the real showstopper was at the end of the room: a huge, jetted soaking tub. Positioned in front of a picture window, it looked out onto the water.

  “Come on, admit it, wouldn’t you like to have a shot at this baby right before you curl up for a good night’s sleep?” I asked. “Those jets will give you a massage while you soak. You don’t even have to wash. You put in enough soap, and it’ll just bubble you clean.”

  “Bah,” she said. But I noticed she was looking at the tub rather longingly.

  “If you’re in this room, Alex and I can share the guest room,” Annie said. “It’ll be just like we’re kids again. Come on, what do you say? Please?”

  Baba beamed and stole a glance at the soaker tub. “Da!” she said, nodding happily. “Okie-dokie.”

  CHAPTER 57

  A little while later, Trip and I made our way out to the pool. Nick had taken Lucy to the beach. And Annie had kidnapped Baba “for a spot of shopping.”

  We were all meeting up at Diamond Jack’s for lunch.

  Leary of the midmorning sun, I was wearing one of Annie’s wide-brimmed hats, a silk scarf, huge sunglasses, and SPF 45.

  It didn’t seem to matter what I did; somehow the Miami sun always found me. Every morning my nose and forehead were bright red. And now they were peeling.

  “Admit it, you’re hiding from the cops,” my best friend teased, as we carried our juice to a table with a view of the pool.

  The pool guy must have used Stan’s super chlorine, because the water was clear and sparkling. But the pool deck smelled like a bleach bottle.

  “I’m cultivating an air of mystery,” I said.

  “Is that what I smell?”

  “That’s actually the pool. It was a hot mess yesterday. Today, it looks good, but I’d wait a day before I swam in it.”