by A B Turner
After the chaos of the kitchens, I found myself in a long, carpeted corridor, which was almost silent in comparison, I took a deep breath of the welcome cool air, but fearing someone might come after me, I knew I had to keep moving.So almost without pausing, I half-ran up the passage way, anxiously trying to find somewhere less exposed to pause and catch my breath. There was a more ornate pair of doors at the end, so, even though I had no idea what was on the other side, I pushed one carefully open, then at the sound of the kitchen door behind me, opening again, I took a deep breath and slipped through, hoping no-one would be the other side.
Fortunately, the door led into the hotel lobby, aside from several people at the reception desk, it was relatively quiet, suggesting all attention had been directed to the main function room. Two tuxedo-clad security men stood either side of an enormous pair of closed doors, I could hear music and general noise, it was blatantly obvious there was no way I was going to gain entry, so I would have to wait and hope Vanessa was in there, I paused momentarily, wondering if I could ask, but quickly decided this may well arouse suspicion, so I opted to head in the opposite direction.
I checked my reflection quickly in the mirrored wall, hoping I looked as if I belonged, then strode confidently across the lobby towards a lounge area, thankfully ,only one receptionist gave me little more than a cursory glance before returning to her computer screen. On entering, I picked up a magazine and settled down in a huge, leather buttoned armchair, deciding it had the ideal view of the doors, where, hopefully, Vanessa might emerge at some point. As soon as I sat down, a waiter appeared at my shoulder,
“Do you require anything, Madam ?” he asked briskly,
“A mineral water please, still not sparkling,” I answered firmly, without glancing up, as it occurred to me, he may well not recognise me as a guest and have me thrown out.
“Of course, Madam,” he replied,after a a slight bow, he disappeared again.
I had barely had time to open the magazine, when he placed a small silver tray on the table next to me,
“Will that be all for now Madam ?” he asked, I nodded , again without looking up, now pretending to be completely engrossed in the magazine. When I was sure he had left my side, I opened the bottle and poured a tall drink, as soon as the cool liquid hit my throat, I started to relax slightly, so I settled back again in the chair, hoping to fade into it somehow.
Some time later, I noticed the two security guards opening the large doors, with bated breath I waited, trying not to look as if I was obviously watching them. I heard heels clicking on the highly-polished floor, then suddenly, there was Vanessa, dressed in a floor-length cream evening gown which shimmered under the sparkling light from the chandelier. I was about to stand up when a voice stopped me in my tracks,
“Excuse me, Madam, may I ask which room number ?” It was the waiter again, this time he was carrying a small silver salver, with a folded, leather wallet placed carefully in the centre, the edge of a receipt seemed to be peeking from the top edge. I glanced back at him, my mind raced, trying to decide whether to fabricate a number or offer to pay. He clearly found my hesitation suspicious,
“You are a guest here, I assume, Madam ?” he asked, his polite tone having developed a sharp edge, without any answer, he was about to say something else, when he suddenly paused, as if he had seen a ghost. I turned round to see what had caused this momentary lapse and came face-to-face with a smiling Vanessa, she winked slyly at me, before turning to the waiter,
“I do hope you have looked after my guest ?” she asked, her American accent sounding so clipped, it was almost English. The waiter stammered and looked anxiously at me,
“The service has been faultless,” I replied formally, he could barely conceal his relief, but Vanessa was not quite finished.
“Is there something to pay ?” she asked, indicating towards the salver.
The waiter shook his head almost violently,
“No...no Madam...my mistake,” he answered, his voice trembling, he then nodded and scampered away.
“Follow me,” Vanessa ordered, she walked quickly across the lobby to the elevator, with me having to half run just to keep up with her. As the elevator rose, there was silence between us, I noticed the bellboy glance across at Vanessa, but she looked straight ahead, devoid of any emotion. I found myself starting to wonder whether I should have come, perhaps this had been a terrible mistake , not to mention, I had made no real plan as to what I was going to say if we did meet.
I followed her out of the lift, along a thickly-carpeted corridor, then into a suite. Once inside, she hung the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the handle, closed the door firmly, she faced me,
“You got here without a maid’s trolley, I’m impressed,” she grinned.
“The cap looked better on you than it ever would on me,” I answered, smiling broadly.
“True.”
She kicked off her shoes, told me to wait and then disappeared into another room, I sat down on the enormous sofa, relieved she seemed happy to see me, but still unsure what I would say when she came back into the room.
“Help yourself to some wine,” she called, I opened the bottle and half-filled two large glasses, placing them carefully on the marble table in front of the sofa. Vanessa strolled back into the room, she was now wearing her bathrobe, her carefully-coiffed hair was now loose and hung to her shoulders. She slumped on to the sofa next to me, took a large swallow of wine, sighed contentedly, before looking steadily at me.
“So what brings you here ?” she asked, obviously slightly amused by my unexpected appearance.
“Well, I was passing and thought I’d pop by to say hello,” I replied innocently, “You know how it is, although I hope I haven’t called at an inopportune moment.”
Vanessa arched one eyebrow,
“My, aren’t we formal ?”
I smiled, but was unable to maintain the pretence any longer , I looked down, feeling almost shy,
“I just had to see you.”
She touched my cheek gently, her almond eyes were looking straight into mine,
“I’m glad you came.” We settled back on the sofa, I listened open-mouthed about her travels and all the people she had met, suddenly I remembered the magazine story about the apparent new relationship, when I mentioned it, she blushed slightly,
“He’s a great guy, you know, we have a lot of fun, but whether it turns into something who knows ? Anyway, what about you ?”
“I have taken time out lately, I needed some space to think things through...” I replied, “........then there was this person I had to see.”
Vanessa smiled and reached for my hand, as she took it in hers, she pulled me slightly closer,
“And how did that go for you ?” she asked, her tone almost serious, I leant forward and lightly kissed her generous mouth, then sat back,
“Pretty good, so far.”
She arched her eyebrow at the ‘so far’,
“Oh really, only pretty good ?” she questioned, then she pulled me towards her, our tongues met, the tips playing softly with each other, before, easing their way into eager mouths which were desperate to be explored. I pushed my fingers through her hair and on to the collar of her robe, slipped my hands under the soft material and on to her cool, smooth skin. I sat back slightly, so I could move my hands consciously, to see and feel every contour of her slim body, I knew I wanted to touch, feel and taste every inch of her, I didn’t want to walk out the door without knowing her completely.
Vanessa looked directly at me, as she slowly unbuttoned my blouse , gently stroked my neck, then traced an imaginary line down to my breasts. Almost studiously, she slipped her hands over, under and round each one, watching the nipples become increasingly erect, before leaning forward and licking each one in turn, the feeling was so intense, any idea of self-control just evaporated and we were soon buried in each other, so deeply, it was almost impossible to know where I ended and she began.
We slipped effortle
ssly on to the floor, still kissing, still touching with every finger, tongue and mouth exploring the other, finally, with her mouth hungrily searching me, I could hold back no longer and just allowed myself to be carried away on the tide of unbroken pleasure, while still wet, I flipped her gently over, so I could taste her, I was still so aroused, just touching her thighs almost made me come again. I felt her hand on the back of my head, her fingers wrapped in my hair, her thighs relaxed, opening herself to me, then with gentle, but firm pressure, she guided me to where she wanted my mouth. As my tongue entered her, she moaned slightly, I glanced up, and our eyes met briefly and a slight smile spread across her half-open mouth, with long, deep strokes , my tongue tasted her, she was becoming more wet , suddenly, she took my hand ,eased my face away and placed my eager hand between her now-quivering thighs. I gently eased my fingers inside her, then began pushing further and further, her hand was still on the back of my head, she firmly pulled on a handful of hair, forcing my face to hers, with my hand still wrapped in her, she kissed me, her tongue seemed to be in every part of my mouth.
As we kissed, I felt her hand slide down my body and plunge into me, the sheer intensity of pleasure, made me push harder against her until every part of our sweating, writhing bodies were interlocked, allowing no escape from the inevitable wave about to engulf us both. When it finally hit, I could barely breathe anymore, my heart was racing so fast, it felt like it was about to burst through my chest , but the overwhelming feeling of just total release took hold of my whole body and I was lost.
We both collapsed back on to the carpet, sweating, wet, literally gasping for breath, for a moment, we just lay there, staring at the ceiling, with only our hands slightly touching, I felt her fingers thread through mine as if she wanted to hold on for as long as possible. I responded my holding her hand tightly, raising it to my mouth and kissing it gently, before pulling her over , she rested her head on my breast,
“Your heart’s beating so fast,” she whispered, I stroked her hair and we lay there in pleasured silence , but both listening to the clock and wishing it would stop. After a while, Vanessa leant up , rested her head on my chest and looked steadily at me,
“You have amazing eyes, you know, have I ever told you that ?” she asked.
“I don’t think so,” I replied thoughtfully.
“Oh fuck, do you think, in the future, we will both look back and think of all kinds of things we should have said, but we didn’t ?” she continued, I made a determined effort not to acknowledge the veiled truth, this could well be the last time we would be together,
“I suppose there might be,” I replied hesitantly, not quite ready to say what was on my mind, in fact, the very reason I was here in the first place,after a few more blissful moments, I reluctantly started to move,
“I guess I have to think about going, I know Marcella will be here soon and I know you never have much time," I said sadly.
Vanessa sighed heavily,
"I never have enough time, even with everything I have, I can't buy more, even when I'd give it all away for just a few more hours."
The simple sadness of her words hit me, I felt a lump in my throat rising, but I forced it back.
As she stood up and started to gather her discarded robe from the floor, the sight of her naked body in the half-light was almost too much, every part of me wanted just to touch her once more, but I knew it would be a mistake, so I turned away and hurriedly dressed, hoping I would be able to leave before the threatening tears that were collecting behind my eyes started to rain down.Once fully-clothed, I turned back and faced her, my throat tightened and I squeezed my eyes tight shut for a moment, but the tears escaped, she touched my face and gently swept them away with the back of her hand,
“Don’t ,” she said quietly.
“I didn’t want to cry in front of you...” I began, struggling to speak, “I was going to save it for later.”
“Don’t ,” she repeated, “Not now, not later, not ever.”
I nodded, then forgetting I was on the point of leaving, returned to the sofa and sat down, there was still some wine left so I took a large swallow, in the hope it would somehow drown the feelings churning inside me. Vanessa sat next to me, took her wine then lazed back,
“There’s obviously something else you want to say,” she said, her tone was measured and calm, I nodded slowly, on seeing my troubled expression, she leant forward and touched my cheek, I quickly took her hand away from my face and placed it on her lap, I knew I would be completely unable to speak with any part of her touching me, as I needed to feel it too much and there were things I had to say. I had gone to so much effort to be here, in this room, and now , I had to get this right, in case there would never be another chance. I took another slow sip of wine, trying to pick a few words from the waterfall that seemed to be cascading through my brain. Vanessa clearly sensed my unease, rested back again and waited. After a couple of moments, I realised trying to be deep and profound would be a mistake, as I looked across at her, and knew, only the truth would be right.
“Do you remember when I told you before, about everything just being more intense with you ? ” I began quietly, Vanessa nodded, “Well, since we last met..well ...I’ve been with other people and, despite everything, they haven’t come close .....nowhere near.”
Vanessa smiled, again I wanted to reach across and touch her, but this was not the time,
“I’ve tried to work out what it was about you that made everything so much, I don’t know, more, somehow,” I continued, knowing I was struggling to find the right words but now completely committed to carrying on, as, in that moment, as I looked at her, I knew the answer.
“If you want me to tell you, I can’t..... I don’t know...” Vanessa began slowly,
Then she looked away, I saw her swallow hard and wipe her eye almost distractedly,
“I'm sorry,Carrie , but I really don’t know what to say,” she finished quietly.
“You don’t have to say anything,” I reassured, “I came here because if our time is really over, I wanted you to know,” I paused, as I needed to digest what I was about to say, “I think what's different about being with you... is love.”
Vanessa turned back to face me, obviously slightly bemused, I suddenly felt incredibly awkward,
“I’m sorry ......I should probably go,” I started to move, but she quickly put her hand on mine,
“Don’t,” she then shook her head slightly, coughed and then took a deep breath,
“Jesus, what is it with you ? First you got me apologising and now this...” her words accompanied by a slight smile. I sat back, sipped my wine and waited for what would happen next, feeling strangely relieved I had managed to say what I had. We sat there for several minutes, Vanessa seemed so lost in thought, I was loath about filling the silence with meaningless chatter, finally she looked back at me,
“I’m used to hearing people telling me they love me, but I guess, I’m kind of thrown when somebody says the words and actually means them,” she paused, “ I just wish you hadn’t ,” her voice was very quiet but firm, at the same time. I was totally taken aback, it was not as if I had imagined what her reaction might be, but, if I had , this one would never have occurred to me. Vanessa sighed , got up and walked slowly over to the fireplace, obviously either unwilling or unable to look at me, for some reason, I found her continued silence almost irritating,
“Why shouldn’t I say it, if it’s true ?” I snapped, completely unable to hide my frustration.
Vanessa shook her head, then spun round to face me,
“Because I don’t want the responsibility that comes with it ! I don’t want to have to be that person, not for you, not for anyone ! I want to be free to go anywhere with anyone and never be tied down ,” she stormed across the room to the door, “In fact, I think you were right before...you should go,” her hand rested on the handle. But I was now equally as angry, and had no intention of leaving , I leapt up from the sofa,
&nb
sp; “You’re full of it, aren’t you ? All this wanting to be free crap....you’re just scared, that’s why you travel all the time, ‘cos your terrified if you stay in the same place for too long, someone might actually see you, not just look , but really see you.....like I have !” I yelled back.
“You think you’re so fucking different ? I have plenty of people like you, I call and they come running...” she sneered back, her words hit me like a physical blow, but I was now so livid, I refused to be beaten,
“I am different ,” I said coldly, “...and you know it.”
“The only thing that’s different is how you're always so fucking grateful !” she yelled back.
Despite almost reeling from this latest verbal body punch, I wasn’t ready to quit the fight just yet, I flew towards her,
“You’re right, I am grateful, because for the first time in my life, I actually felt something and it was amazing...and beautiful, and even though you’re now standing there doing everything you can to take it away...you can’t ! You hear that ! You're not having it back...It's mine."
I stormed towards the door, absolutely sure I had no desire to stay any longer, I was not going to remember our time together like this, Vanessa glared at me, her hand clamped on the handle making it impossible for me to leave, when our eyes met, all the anger seemed to drain from her and she released the handle, her hand dropped lifelessly to her side,
“Just go, Carrie,” she said quietly, then walked passed me and sank back on to the sofa, I paused by the door, wanting desperately to leave now, but seemingly unable to turn a simple door handle, without turning round, I spoke, so quietly, I could only barely hear the words myself,