by A B Turner
“Well, you can obviously cook, do you have any other talents , I might find diverting ?” I asked, resting back on the sofa, unable to shift my gaze from those eyes, now having firmly resolved to ignore Kat's words of warning, after all, she had Matt. Again, Daniel paused, only to add he had learnt to play the clarinet when he had been at school, but I probably was not a clarinet fan either,
“Not really,” I shook my head, he then asked what I did like, because, as the host, it was clearly his obligation to fulfil any need, I smiled, replying, he was obviously a resourceful man. Daniel leant forward, until our lips were almost touching, his tongue then slid across my mouth, before slipping inside to meet my own, it felt so nice, any doubt I may have had vanished, all I knew now was I wanted him to leave me no choice but to feel something. I felt his hand slide purposefully along my leg until he reached the lace of my panties, I was already wet and ached to feel some part of him inside my eager body, he eased his hand between my thighs. Unable to resist, I tilted slightly upward, almost forcing his fingers to slide into me, as they did, I moaned slightly, giving in to the sheer pleasure, with my hands now inside his shirt, I could feel his heart beating hard, reluctantly leaving his mouth, I began to explore his chest with my tongue, allowing my hands to ease round his slim waist and into his jeans, pulling him still closer. His hand gently slipped out of me and almost tore my blouse apart, he glanced up at me, before burying his face between my now-heaving breasts, his intense mouth sucked and licked, I felt as if I was on fire, I could feel him pushing hard against me, I spread my legs, begging him to enter me, he thrust inside, his mouth now almost frantically, feeding on my breasts, my hands were now clenched around his waist, forcing him to go deeper and deeper into me, while my mouth bit into his broad shoulders and neck.
The overwhelming surge of pleasure seemed to course through my body like a burning tide, as I felt him push harder and harder , I could hold back no longer and just allowed it to wash over me, almost immediately, I felt him thrust inside me once more, then quicker and quicker until I felt him come in strong, almost fierce bursts.
We lay there, gasping for breath, the sticky sweat from our bodies feeling as if we had melted into each other. After several minutes, Daniel sat up slightly, he pushed a hand through his thick hair, then looked down at me and smiled, I could see he was about to speak, but I was not finished, there seemed to be some part of me still unsatisfied. I sat up, forcing him back on the sofa, as we moved, he slid out of me, I felt warm come slither down my thigh which aroused me even more. I began slowly licking his erect nipples, nibbling and biting them, I felt his chest heave slightly, so I continued, easing myself back until my mouth was just above his navel. I glanced down, my fingers traced downward, easing their way through the soft hair before touching him, I felt a flicker of tension. I glanced up at Daniel, he was watching me intently, without breaking eye contact, I began to taste him, with long, firm strokes of my tongue, with each touch, I could feel him become more firm. His head tipped back as he sighed deeply, knowingly, I then took him into my mouth, my eager lips surrounding him. I felt him push upward, so I sucked more, feeling him grow in my mouth, I could think about nothing else than the desire to have him inside me again, so when he was hard, I glanced up again, his eyes were now almost closed, so I smoothly raised myself on to him, I was so aroused, the mere feel of him inside me, caused me to groan with pleasure.
His eyes opened, but he made no move, I looked down at my round, full breasts, I knew I had to touch them, I allowed my hands to caress them, they felt so warm and soft. Daniel seemed transfixed, but I could feel him pushing upwards into me, the intensity of his strength combined with the sheer pleasure of enjoying my own body, was overwhelming, I wanted it to last forever, but as he forced into me harder and harder, I gave in to the now- unstoppable wave. Daniel pulled me towards him and we kissed deeply, despite everything, our tongues still trying to search out some forgotten place, we separated and I rested my head on his chest, breathless, neither of us able or willing to speak, as words now seemed unnecessary. After several minutes, I reluctantly started to move,
“Are you alright ?” Daniel asked drowsily.
“I have to go...it’s late,” I answered quietly, then quickly slipped off him and began searching for my scattered clothes, as I dressed, Daniel sat up slightly and watched me.
“You don’t have to leave....” he said carefully.
Now fully dressed, I looked back at him, there was no question in my mind, I wanted to stay, I quickly glanced at the clock, it was almost 3.00 a.m., Lainie would almost certainly be asleep, if I awoke early enough, I could easily get home before she left. I turned back to Daniel,
“Do you have pyjamas ?” I asked, he looked bemused, “After all, I wouldn’t like you to get the wrong idea.”
He smiled, stood up, took my hand and led me upstairs, promising he was sure he had some appropriate nightwear to cover my modesty, once in bed, and wrapped in his arms, I thought again of Kat's words,
“ Kat will not be happy !” I laughed, “She gave me strict instructions not to sleep with you !”
“I won’t tell, if you don’t,” he answered grinning, we snuggled down a little further and the conversation steadily turned slightly more serious,
“Can I ask you something ?” he said quietly.
“Of course, what do you want to know ? I replied sleepily.
“You’re obviously very good with men, but have you ever been with a woman ?”
“Yes...” I began, then seeing his slightly confused expression, “I’ve always thought attraction is pure instinct, so it follows if I don’t choose who I find attractive, I can’t define it be gender, age, colour or anything else...if it’s there, it’s....” my voice trailed away, as the memory of my saying these same words to Vanessa suddenly hit me, I quickly regained my senses,
“What about you ? Have there been any men in your life ?” I asked.
Daniel shook his head, then jokingly added, he had decided long ago, to focus all his energies on one gender, rather than attempting to diversify .
“Do you think this single-minded approach was a good idea ?” he asked. I thought back to our evening and smiled,
“I would say......without question, although obviously, I will have to do further research, just in case I’ve missed something.”After agreeing we should definitely explore the subject further, we kissed and drifted off to sleep .
I was awoken by the sound of a tapping noise, bleary-eyed, I stumbled to the bedroom door and opened it, to find Daniel standing there, holding a large tray laden with every possible breakfast ingredient.
“Lucky for you I’m hungry !” he commented, looking at my near-naked body, before carefully placing the tray on the end of the bed. He passed me a dressing-gown, then once I was suitably covered, we enjoyed both the warm croissants and the simple pleasure of just being together.
It was with great reluctance, I finally washed and dressed, as I had to get home to check in with Lainie and get ready for work. I was just waving goodbye at his front gate, when I noticed two women from work on the other side of the road, they were shamelessly gawping at us, so intently, one almost walked into a lamppost.
“Thanks Daniel, I had an amazing time,” I called back to him, he looked a little bemused, until he saw our audience, who had, slowed almost to a snail’s pace, in the undoubted hope they might hear something interesting.
“So did I, will return your handcuffs later, OK ?” he yelled back, then, just for good measure, he waved to the two women and offered them a cheery greeting before closing the door. I followed his example and did the same, before heading off down the road, leaving them to draw their own conclusions, which they would undoubtedly share with the rest of the workforce.
As I had predicted, by the time I arrived an hour or so later, it rapidly became obvious, the news of Daniel and I obviously spending the night together, had been widely circulated. I chose to say nothing and just get on with my day a
s normal , after all, I knew from experience, people generally prefer to make up their own version of events , it stopped the possibility of the actual truth hindering a good story. I was buried in paperwork when a tannoy announcement called me to the warehouse, relieved for the temporary break, I headed straight there, passing a small group of women who smiled half-heartedly, before returning to their huddle. Almost as soon as I entered the huge warehouse, I felt a familiar grip on my hand, it was Phil,
“Something wrong ?” I asked innocently, without speaking, he pulled me through the door, his dark eyes, unable to hide his obvious anger, once in the relative safety of the damp corridor, he pushed me roughly against the wall.
“What the fuck are you playing at ?” he barked, glaring at me, “Everyone’s saying you fucked that wanker Daniel !” he continued, leaving me no opportunity to answer, “That’s crap, isn’t it ?” he demanded. I looked steadily at him, then glanced down to his hand, which was still tightly wrapped around my wrist, reluctantly, he released the hold, once freed, I turned back to him,
“ What I do, or who I see, is none of your business, so if you don’t mind...” I began calmly, putting my hand on the door handle, having every intention of leaving, but Phil was not finished.
“Why him ? He won’t fuck you like me !” he hissed in my ear, pressing his whole body against me, “I know what you want, you dirty bitch.”
I leant forward, until my mouth was next to his ear,
“You have never known what I want,” I whispered calmly, then eased back, his expression showed every hint of the confusion he was obviously feeling on hearing my words, with one last look, I left him standing there in the darkness and returned to work, wondering why it had taken me so long to say such a simple truth.
At lunchtime, I walked into the canteen and openly exchanged knowing winks with Daniel, before sitting down at the corner table and began idly flicking through a magazine. Suddenly I remembered I had not checked my phone, as I retrieved it from my handbag, it leapt into life, a quick glance showed I had eight missed calls and numerous texts – all from Kat. As I read them, it was obvious , she had heard the news and had become increasingly frustrated at my lack of contact. I quickly text her back, explaining I would call later and carefully put the phone away, just in time for Daniel to appear at my table with a lunch I had not ordered.
“Just for you,” he said, just loudly enough for those around us to hear, it was clear he was enjoying this time in the limelight, so I smiled and accepted the meal without comment. As I ate, I read the magazine, amongst the stories of numerous celebrities either losing or gaining weight, I noticed a story about Vanessa, she was still seeing the same guy we had talked about, Michael Revere. There was a series of photographs of the pair of them both in Paris and London, they looked relaxed and very happy, for a moment, I speculated if ‘Pudgy’ had taken the London pictures and how long he had waited for them. As I looked at them, it struck me, how it was almost unreal Vanessa and I had ever actually met, here I was, in a works canteen and there she was, inhabiting an entirely different world, yet, there was an undeniable connection which would always exist between us.
I watched Daniel serve people as they came in, I knew we would see each other again, I also knew how much he would love to hear about my time in London with Vanessa, but like Kat , and even Lainie , I would never tell him, those moments were mine and would stay that way.
Later that evening, I phoned Kat to tell her about our evening, she gave me the expected response about how great sex was one thing, but she wished I had stuck with the idea of waiting to find someone special. I listened patiently, while remembering how good it had felt with Daniel and what a relief it was to know I could, at least, feel something real with someone other than Vanessa. It hadn't been the same with him, nowhere near, maybe I just had to accept it was only possible to reach those heights with one person. But he was so much more than Phil, so much more than all those others that took more than they ever intended giving me.
But as our conversation wore on, her mood changed and I was forced to pay closer attention,
“ Look, Carrie , I know how much fun it can be having a wild, passionate night with some guy, I’m not judging you, it’s just since I’ve been with Matt, I don’t know ,it’s just better, it means more.....and I just wish you could find the same thing with someone” she said almost wistfully.
“Maybe I’m not meant to find that with someone,” an image of Vanessa flashed into my mind, “... perhaps that old saying about it being better to have loved and lost, applies to me and Daniel is a great guy, perhaps..."
But Kat interrupted,
"Fuck perhaps, Carrie..you're worth so much more."
Neither of us spoke for a moment, then Kat broke the silence,
“What about London ? You know the mystery one ?"
“No, like I said before, two different worlds,” I replied truthfully, but hearing the genuine concern in her tone, I reassured her, my prince would turn up one day and not to worry so much.
“But I do worry,” she insisted, “Lainie’s getting older, I don’t like to think of you being alone.”
“Well, I can always join a quilting bee...” I laughed, she snorted with derision and repeated her light-hearted threat to have me committed, should I take up any kind of handicraft in preference to a relationship. As always we ended our conversation, with a promise to speak again soon and sending each other love, before saying goodbye.
As I lay in bed, I thought about how my life was finally moving ahead, I had a beautiful daughter, great friends and the dark, frightening days of my time with Steve seemed like an awful nightmare I used to have, but not anymore. Phil was equally nothing more now than a past, terrible mistake that I had finally learned how not to repeat again, I turned over and thought about Vanessa, I wondered where she was, if she was happy and finally, whether she ever thought about me. Meeting her had changed everything, had even made the night with Daniel more about letting go, than being in control.
But still, there was no escaping the fact, she meant more, great sex was one thing, but great sex with someone you love is a whole different experience, at least, if nothing else, I now knew what that was like, so it was with this positive thought, I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 18
Although my personal life seemed to be improving, I was still totally convinced I needed to find a new job, but almost as soon as I began submitting applications, it became abundantly obvious, I had chosen the worst possible time for a career change. Every day, the news seemed to be reporting there were far too many people applying for every position, and most of them seemed more qualified than me. Anyway, Christmas was now firmly on the horizon, so I chose to abandon my search until the New Year, especially as Lainie had been accepted to study abroad for a year, so this one would have particular meaning. When I told Kat , she audibly gasped,
“When did she grow up ? It seems only a year or so ago we were going to her school concert, and now you’re telling me she’s going to be gallivanting around Europe !”
“How do you think I feel ? If she’s old enough to be going, it means I’m getting ancient !” I replied.
“Rubbish,” Kat snorted, “You’re like Sophia Loren, you’ll just get better with age.”
I thanked her for her very welcome, if unlikely comparison and then explained I was trying to think of a way to make this Christmas special, Kat pondered for a moment, then it seemed a moment of inspiration hit,
“Why don’t you take her up to London ? Like when she was little, you know, see the lights, sit on Santa’s knee...” her voice trailed off for a moment, “Well, maybe not that last bit, after all, Santa’s only human and she’s a great looking girl !”
At first, I was tempted to dismiss this idea, after all, Lainie seemed a bit too old for the whole Christmas lights experience, but the more Kat enthused, she won me over, especially when she suggested she came along with Matt.
“I’ll run it by Lainie, and
let you know,” I answered, excited by the prospect of going back to the capital, so excited, she was barely through the door, before I launched into the whole sales pitch of the idea. As I gabbled on, she looked at me, distinctly dubious, but the more I extolled the virtues of such a trip, I could see more than a flicker of interest in her deep, green eyes,
“So what do you think ?” I finished breathlessly, feeling more like the child than the adult, as I had spent the last ten minutes trying to persuade her to do something. Lainie paused, then a broad smile spread across her face,
“I love the idea, but can we afford it ? “ she asked. I threw my hands up in mock despair,
“Probably not, but who cares ? Let’s do it anyway, after all, you’ll be in Rome soon and I will be left here, nibbling toast round a solitary candle while I pay it back ” I laughed , Lainie smiled and joked it was good to know I would be fine in her absence.
A couple of weeks later, we stepped out of Paddington Station and paused, I took a deep breath, it was almost like the very air itself had a positive effect on me. Lainie looked at me as if I was totally mad, but was more than used to the ritual, so looked on with a combination of patience and simple happiness, to see me looking so happy.
“We’ll go on to the hotel with the bags,” Matt suggested, manfully struggling with most of our luggage, “That’ll leave you two to do your sight-seeing.” Lainie was about to protest, but I shook my head slightly, at first, she looked quizzically at me, then she realised Kat and Matt were anxious to get to their hotel room and just smiled knowingly.We waved them off, then quickly decided to head to Oxford Street, opting to walk, as although there was a definite chill in the air, we were dressed for the weather. As we reached Marble Arch, Lainie looked up admiringly, taking numerous photographs on her mobile, as I watched, it occurred to me, perhaps I did still have her after all as she suddenly looked young again. As we strolled down the wide street, I could see almost visibly absorbing the sights and sounds around her, we paused at almost every glittering shop window, her eyes seemed to reflect the dazzling array of all the Christmas decorations. We both kept staring upward at the flickering lights strung above us, they were as magical as I had hoped and their effect was clearly not lost on Lainie.