by Tara Wimble
Then she gets an idea.
*
They have to break for about five minutes when they walk back into the room wearing their ‘costumes’. It’s not the first cutoff Bella has worn but it’s certainly one that she’s kind of hesitant to wear. When the camera is finally switched on, and Bella is standing with her hands on her hips looking amused yet tired, they begin the last part of the Bella and Jacque show. The ticket giveaway.
“Now try not to get too distracted.” Jacque warns. “All these arm muscles on show, we know how you guys get.”
“As you may see-” Bella gestures between their bodies. “We have changed into some-” Her pause is accented by her pursing her lips together. “-interesting attire.”
“Trendy attire.”
“You can vote on that.” Bella argues to the camera. “Here’s the story. We were gifted-” She air quotes. “These shirts by a friend.”
Said friend’s face is actually printed onto the shirt.
“The deal is,” Bella says. “If you can guess who sent us these shirts, you will get the free tickets to today’s game.”
Jacque straightens her shirt out. Patting the face. “Two free tickets.”
Bella sighs with a reluctant laugh. “Now remember, the question is- who is it, that sent us these amazing cut offs? If you answer this question- you will win the tickets for today’s game against Seattle.”
She looks at Jacque, who’s staring openly at the large picture of Kathryn’s face splayed across her chest- at least she thinks she’s looking at that. “I don’t think they’re gonna get it.”
“Nope.” Jacque recovers. She definitely wasn’t looking at the print.
Bella snorts in laughter. “Really?” She can’t help herself asking.
Jacque knows she’s been caught and flashes the guiltiest smile at the camera. “I don’t, uh, think we gave them-” She pulls the front of the shirt, stretching Kathryn’s face, out. “-enough of a clue.”
By now Bella is just covering her stupid smile. “Oh. Okay, well.” Bella clears her throat and places her hands on her hips. Emphasizing the face on the shirt. “Just think on it a little but also remember to tweet us the answer before our game against SEATTLE. So, get on that.”
She notices Jacque staring again but it’s not at her chest but rather the flash of a silver necklace hanging from her neck. She can see that Jacque is trying to remember where she saw that last and despite the fact she was the one who decided to wear the ring on the chain, she ducks her head. “We will also be auctioning these shirts off at the end of the game.”
“Bella will.” Jacque recovers slightly better than before. “I feel like this suits me.” She says it so innocently that Bella almost calls cut to remind Jacque that she’s a one-woman-on-my-boobs kind of woman.
There’s some minor hemming and hawing from Bella’s side but the interns call cut on the show and they both can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the camera is no longer rolling.
Bella doesn’t think twice about taking the shirt off when the interns have left and the video has finished. It’s not that she doesn’t love cutoffs, she does, but the longer she has Kathryn’s face on her body, the weirder it gets.
Somewhere between tugging the shirt off her head and tossing it on the table, only to be found again to prove to Kathryn she still has it, Jacque surprises her by boldly reaching out to pull the chain around her neck and touch the old, familiar ring hanging on the end of it. Her wedding ring.
“Sorry.” She mutters. Her own hand grasps the chain above Jacque’s.
“Why are you sorry?” She’s still staring down at the old ring in a light awe.
She doesn’t really know why she’s saying sorry. Maybe it’s because this ring was always Jacque’s in a sense. It was lent to her. It never truly belonged to her. Wearing it now it still feels like it.
But she’d come across it sitting in the small black box in their bedside drawers and she’d been overcome with the need to wear it. Not out of want but out of a need for something, some strength, some sign of committing to all of this- this being with Jacque, supporting her decision to retire, to playing in the World Cup and then coming back and making a push for the playoffs.
It’s enough pressure to make her buckle. The chain around her neck and the weight of the ring sitting on her chest helps that pressure. It eases it.
When training gets hard she can slip her hand over her undershirt and catch it for a second and it gets easier to breathe.
Jacque’s hold on the chain loosens and she lets it drop until it’s only Bella holding on. “It looks good.” On you, goes unspoken.
There’s a strangeness that comes over her. It’s awkward, of course, to be standing in her sports bra holding the wedding ring used for their fake wedding and pretending that it doesn’t suddenly mean something so serious. So naturally Bella breaks out into the worst sounding laughter prompting Jacque to no doubt think there’s something wrong with her.
“I wasn’t, uh, snooping or whatever- I just-”
“I don’t mind.” Jacque quickly interrupts. They’re both flailing, trying to downplay what the ring used to mean in favor of whatever reason Bella is wearing it for. “I mean, my grandma isn’t gonna ask for it back-”
Both of them stop abruptly at that awfully timed grave humour.
“I mean-”
“Well, I know-”
“Wow.” Jacque laughs. “I mean, I never wanted you to give it back or anything and it’s not like-” She trails off onto something else but Bella’s lip curls up. Jacque wasn’t exactly going to propose to anyone else anytime soon.
She’s reached out to her again, Jacque hooking her hand around Bella’s exposed waist and pulling their bodies together. “You know what I mean.”
It’s nice to be smoothing this out now, even if it does mean she’s half naked hugging her girlfriend in the Red Stars office surrounded by an abnormal amount of pictures of her own face, and not coming up with a conflict because of it.
“It wards off anxiety.” Bella explains.
“You have me for that.” Jacque bumps their noses together jokingly.
“Yeah, I know.” Bella anticipates kissing. Nice, soft feeling and belly flipping kissing. “But when I’m out on the field I can’t do those kind of things in front of the fans.”
Jacque jokes about them not minding but she caves to the kissing instead. Thankfully no one breaks their bubble and Bella enjoys it. Message understood.
Those moments when she’s running on tired legs and hoping that her shot is enough to propel the ball over the line. The aftermath when she’s pointing at the sky, her hands drop to her chest touching the ring and kissing the front of her jersey where it’s hiding just underneath.
Instant relief.
“I’ll keep it safe.” She promises. “I’m pretty sure no one is gonna sucker punch me in the chest or anything.”
“You’d be surprised.” Jacque’s teasing dissolves into a content expression that Bella rarely sees these days when they’re not at home. “I trust you to keep it safe. You keep everything else in one piece.”
Breathe. Breathe and tuck the ring back against her skin. Kathryn’s shirt is forgotten wherever it’s fallen and she glues herself to Jacque’s body while they’re alone together. Whether or not the rest of the office knows what they’re like by now or not, no one comes by while Bella pushes up on her toes to kiss Jacque again.
They only break with the sudden burst of noise coming to the side of them. Bella’s phone buzzes violently on the table and without thinking she answers the call. It’s only when Kathryn’s face appears on the screen, moving and definitely shocked at Bella’s shirtless state, does Bella realize she’s accepted FaceTime rather than a call.
While covering her eyes Kathryn yells at them. “You are NOT auctioning off those shirts!”
Bella hides her head against Jacque’s chest. Shaking them both with her laughter as their friend rants about how long it took for her to g
et them made for them.
Business as usual.
*
Everything gets real when the dates get closer.
The national teams call and players head to camp. It’s hard to wave goodbye to Quenby and Lexi the night they leave knowing that they’re leaving their club team and hoping that they can manage without them. Trusting that they can hold the fort for when they all come back.
May brings them a month of residency. They know that the US has been calling their players for a week more than they have and it drives a competitiveness when they all arrive in Vancouver. No sooner have they checked into their hotels are they sitting in the lobby waiting for the first talk with John.
The plan is simple. Play to win.
A lot of them are in the best shape they can be in. Three seasons of the NWSL have helped all of them stay consistent. It’s not something they can forget when their trainers encourage their inner fight by posting the best scores from their fitness tests on the board in the equipment rooms.
Carla bests them all on pull ups, somehow, and Bella claims the yo-yo fitness test title for a mere week before she’s knocked off by Niav.
Every night they all go through the wind down recovery. John isn’t risking anyone, not when they’re so close, and complaining about ice baths steadily grows over the course of the month.
Strangely though, Jacque misses everyone during the day. It’s not like they don’t talk to each other or goof off but the day is for training, it’s for yelling and encouraging people to run faster, pass cleaner and clear the shot. It’s focused.
The night is when she gets her friends back. It’s the only time she’s able to sit with Bella and relax, or talk to Oliv and Kathryn. It’s the little moments at night that remind them all that this group has been working towards this for the longest time. That this World Cup isn’t just for Canada, it’s for each other. A debt that they owe for all the hard times they’ve gotten through together.
And it makes Jacque want it even more. Especially knowing that this is her last shot to give it all.
But that doesn’t mean that everything is serious business. There are still some things that make her feel like a kid putting on her boots for the first time.
The World Cup kit reveal is one of those things.
“Oh god, I feel like I’m choking-” Sadie fans at her face.
“Undo the top-” Kathryn pulls at the collar. “You’ve done the button, that’s why.”
Bella tugs at her sleeves. “Can I get a smaller one than this?”
“You’re already popping out of that-” Jacque complains. The bustle of the changing room goes on around them as they all try on their new kits for the first time.
“Yeah, put them away Bella.”
“This is drowning me.”
“Carla, you’ve got Olivia’s jersey on.”
“That explains it.” Imogen manages to snap a picture of the shirt on her before she can take it off and within minutes it belongs to the internet. “Aren’t you just the best?”
“I think you’ll find that’s a title that belongs to me.” Desiree pops the collar on her shirt and Kathryn pretends to swoon.
Someone calls for a catwalk and the amusement of the Canadian WNT’s media team is ramped up as Des, Kathryn, Lauren, Imogen and Adriana take it in turns to walk down the imaginary runway in the dressing room. Jacque, Sadie and Sophie sit at the end and call out numbers for effort, appearance and poise- which turns to attitude halfway through when Desi dances towards them.
In the confusion, Whemb is declared the winner despite not participating in this at all.
They’re all gathered in BC Place getting changed in the complex before they go to take team photographs. It’s the first time they’ve worn the new UA kits and a representative is there to get suggestions on the sizes and other things before they head back to Canada, and the start of the tournament.
The last thing anyone needs is for the uniforms to hinder the way they run or anything.
“You’re not getting an extra small.” Sadie breaks it to Bella. “Your arms are busting out of this one already-”
“Stop pulling, I’m trying to fix my hair.”
“Try and put it on a different shoulder-”
Bella hits out at her. “Oh fuck off.”
The jerseys aren’t too bad. They kind of throwback to the ones they had a few years ago with stripes running from the neck to the armpit. They’re trying on the white away kits first before the red home ones, which are similar but the Canada Soccer crest is replaced with a black maple leaf instead. It’s a nice design and Bella isn’t the first one to say it makes her feel like she’s playing for Manchester United.
They’re obviously designed with the World Cup in mind. Showing off the Canadian team in the best way that they can. While a few of them aren’t too thrilled with the black maple leaf, it’s not the worst thing, if anything Jacque thinks it fits. The last time they were at the World Cup, they came dead last. They might as well have not turned up.
This time it’s all about rising from the ashes and turning the black charred remains into fire once more.
By the time everyone is kitted out for the second photographs, in the home reds, everyone has come around to it. Sadie and Imogen get their GK kits in blue with a white leaf and stand in the middle of their group photograph while the rest of it is organized by height.
The photographers shoot away and with each flash they all slowly dissolve from professional to goofing off. By the time they call cut Kathryn, Jan and Lauren have pushed their way to the front and are using those sitting on the front as seats for their own personal photo shoot.
“Light training-” John says. “Don’t want to ruin the kits.”
No one has the heart to tell him that these aren’t the ones they’ll actually be wearing to the games. It’s funnier to watch his face when Oliv tackles Carla to get the ball and comes up with a huge grass stain up the side of her jersey and skin underneath.
Bella shakes her head. “Yeah, I’m gonna need to call Casey for some undershirts.”
Jacque looks offended. “Um, please don’t.”
She gets thrown a ‘down girl’ look that no one catches thankfully but Bella isn’t deterred and a few cutoffs come through in the following few days, some say Savage and others say Canada and she’s eventually bullied into getting a jersey that fits so she can wear them underneath comfortably.
For now though she scrimmages without one and dodges any attempt by others to take her to the ground. Imogen dives, misses, and Bella scores.
It’s a media session for the most part. There’s a lot of people taking pictures, drumming up their team as the days count down to the opening matches. Jacque can’t leave the complex without seeing a picture of Whemb or Taniya Holden in the paper or on the TV somewhere. World Cup Fever is rising in the US and Canada and Jacque can’t wait to see what it’s like at the opening ceremonies.
They get a taste of it a few days later when they hold an open practice for some of the local youth soccer teams and fans to come along to. John tells them over breakfast that they had about six hundred RSVP for the event and by the time they’ve finished up their morning gym session that’s jumped to around a thousand.
But seeing them all in the stands when they walk out makes it clear- it’s a lot more than a thousand. The sheer sound of the people that greet them when they come into sight makes the expected number seem a tad laughable. Jacque almost thinks she’s back in Chicago getting ready to play Portland or something.
Someone’s dad has brought a drum along and the whole time their names are getting read out there’s a rhythm leading the cheering that they each get. It brings some tears to her eyes, unexplainable joy, to see the smiling faces and the girls wearing their jerseys calling out for them.
This is what they’re playing for as well. This is what she’s wearing under the jersey, the heart and soul of their fans, in this amazing game.
Kathryn nudges her side as the
y shrug off the warm up sweaters. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Jacque answers quickly. She slows as much as she can. “I’m good.”
Across from her she spots Bella wedged between Oliv and Sophie, holding her hand against her chest and pinching the chain that’s just visible under the shirt.
Instant relief. Jacque eases up and walks to the sideline with Kathryn. “You wanna race?”
“Against you?” Kathryn scoffs. “Yeah, I think not ‘miss beep test queen’.”
She gets caught up in it anyway and they both end up sprinting through the warm up, much to everyone else’s confusion.
The rousing cheer they get from the nearest supporters section is worth it when she leaves Kathryn in the dust.
This is what they filled these stands for. To get a glimpse of their heroes, their kids heroes, working hard and pushing towards making sure that the World Cup stays in Canada.
It’s already treat enough that they get to host and train in front of more fans than they could even hope to draw to games when she first started playing.
That’s where her amazement begins and ends. It’s less that’s she’s coming full circle and more that she feels as though she can finally leave the game knowing that it’s better than when she came into it. That kids will be able to play in front of thousands of fans regularly. Maybe they’ll know what it feels like to get equal support from the CSA, though, she laughs, maybe not quite yet.
Maybe by the time her kids are able to play. She looks up from their stretch to see Bella goofing off in between alternating quads and shakes her head.
Maybe not quite yet.
Regardless the crowd fuels them on and it’s the most crisp they’ve been throughout their entire camp.
Each pass arrives with purpose. Every shot is taken with impetus and hit with the perfect touch, whether that’s blasted towards the back of the net or placed in a corner. Equally the saves are just as impressive.
It’s a show that they’re putting on but more importantly than that it’s the level they’ve risen to. This is where John has taken them and it’s with that thought in mind that they can grab microphones when they’ve cooled off and promise, with honest intention, that they will do everything in their power to be crowned champions.