The Art of Coaching

by Elena Aguilar

  The process of coaching requires both backbone and compassion. The coach must be courageous enough to be gently irreverent with the client to test the client's view of the world. However, coaching can work only when the coach cares deeply about the client and is able to cast aside his own ego to support the client's efforts.

  Patricia McNeil and Steve Klink (2004, p. 185)

  A word of caution: As a coach starts pushing and probing into behaviors, beliefs, and being, clients can feel uncomfortable. Some have described this as feeling that their whole brain is being re-wired as they go through a process of unlearning. Clients return to the place of feeling like a beginner—they don't want to engage in the old behavior patterns, but they haven't quite mastered new strategies consistent with the values they want to embody (Schwarz and Davidson, 2008, p. 82). As we engage in conversations, while our clients make this shift from old patterns to new ones, our support is critical. Coaches must be very patient and compassionate and constantly check that our client is willing to engage in coaching. If we don't, we risk losing trust and therefore, the possibility of transformation.

  Essential Framework 3: Coaching Stances

  One way that I became clearer about what was happening in coaching conversations, and one way in which I improved my coaching practice, was to apply an analytical framework to the talking that happened with clients. A framework for conversation does three things:

  It provides a metacognitive structure to guide my questions and statements.

  It helps me strategically plan a coaching conversation (see Chapter 13).

  It offers ways to think and act during a session, especially when I'm unsure how to move my client forward.

  There are a number of frameworks that can be applied in coaching. After experimenting with different models, I've found that for me, John Heron's is the most effective.

  John Heron, a pioneer in counseling, facilitation, and personal and professional development delineates two broad approaches we take in the helping professions: a “facilitative” and an “authoritative” stance. From the facilitative stance, a coach pulls and helps the client to be autonomous by using what Heron identifies as a cathartic, catalytic, or supportive approach. From an authoritative stance, a coach takes an instructive or directive role on behalf of the client and we might use what Heron calls a prescriptive, informative, or confrontational approach from this stance. When referring to Heron's “authoritative stance,” I usually use the term “directive” as a synonym.

  When I'm coaching, I sometimes imagine that I am shifting my body back and forth between two large, flat river stones—the “facilitative stone” and the “directive stone.” Based on where my feet are planted, I behave differently—I say different things and ask different questions. I move between these two stances in response to who my client is, where my client is, and what I hear from my client. Usually, in a coaching conversation, I use most, if not all, of these approaches—I shift my feet often. Visualizing the stones helps me stay anchored in a specific approach and be intentional.

  Conversations in which a coach uses a facilitative or directive approach are reflective: either about something that has happened, on thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and being, or on something that a client would like to do. Interspersed with reflective conversation are activities—sometimes even occurring during a coaching conversation itself. For example, a coach might engage a teacher in a reflective conversation on a lesson that didn't go well, and then immediately support the teacher to design a new lesson. Or a coach could help a principal process a difficult conversation that he had with a staff member, and then role-play the principal's follow-up conversation.

  Masterful coaches inspire people by helping them recognize the previously unseen possibilities that lay embedded in their existing circumstances.

  Robert Hargrove (2003)

  The following chapters dissect coaching conversations and activities to illustrate the various components: facilitative coaching conversations are explored in this chapter, followed by a chapter on facilitative coaching activities. Chapter Eleven dives into directive coaching conversations, followed by a chapter on directive coaching activities. In reality, in the coaching dance, we integrate all these strategies.

  Facilitative Coaching

  From the facilitative stance, a coach guides, helps, and pulls the client's learning. Heron names three ways in which we do this: from what he calls a cathartic approach, a catalytic approach, or a supportive approach.

  The Cathartic Approach

  Think back to your first year teaching. What are your predominant memories of that time? Perhaps you remember the exhaustion, the responsibility, or the joy. For me it was: “This is so hard! I'm overwhelmed by what I am learning about my students' lives, and the daunting task before me. I'm afraid I'm not competent, that I'll fail them.” My memory is of the emotions. This didn't really change after the first year because working in underfunded public schools located in communities in crisis and engaging in transformation is, by definition, an emotional experience. It's an unstated part of the job description of being an educator: you will have many emotions in this work.

  Julian Weissglass, who developed the constructivist listening structure called the dyad (discussed in Chapter Eight) insists that educators deserve support in processing emotions. He writes, “Reform programs that address only the cognitive and behavioral aspects of educators' professional lives neglect an important part of their humanness and fall short of fully attending to the empowerment of teachers” (Weissglass, 1990, p. 351). Our feelings affect our actions and we need to attend to them.

  Coaching is one structure within which emotions can be expressed. When we take a cathartic stance, we intend to help the client release emotions which block her progress. Sometimes, as a coach, it can feel frustrating to work from this stance, especially if our clients have a lot of emotions to process or often want this kind of support. However, we need to remember that without clearing emotions or working through them we often can't impact real behavioral change.

  A cathartic approach allows the client to release and express painful emotions. This can be useful if a client is afraid of risk or failure, if he feels incompetent, or if he is frustrated or unmotivated. Emotions can also be a powerful source of energy—we can use them to move forward into what we want to be. One of the most powerful questions to offer a client a cathartic space is simply to invite emotions into the conversation. For example, let's say a principal is describing a staff professional development session that he planned all weekend that did not go well. He's relayed every step he took and wants to plan next week's meeting together. Before moving on, it can be helpful to ask, “I'm wondering what that felt like for you. Is that something we could talk about for a minute?” The client may exhale loudly, sigh, drop his shoulders, or communicate some other kind of relief at the invitation, and then he'll talk. In this case, without processing the emotional experience, the feelings of embarrassment, frustration, or annoyance at his staff might emerge at the next meeting and result in unintended consequences.

  Cathartic questions can sound like:

  I'm noticing that you're experiencing some feelings. Would it be OK to explore those for a few minutes?

  What's coming up for you right now? Would you like to talk about your feelings?

  Wow I imagine I'd have some emotions if that happened to me. Are you experiencing strong feelings?

  In Appendix B, you'll find a compiled list of questions organized by coaching stance.

  In order for a coach to invite emotions we need to be attuned to nonverbal cues. We could be talking about an upcoming unit plan or workshop and notice that the client seems distracted, fidgety, or tired; the expression on his face, the movement of his hands, or his distant tone indicates that something is off. A transformational coach is acutely observant of nonverbal communication and listens to her intuition. Sometimes we need to ask, “Is something coming up for you that you'd like to talk about?” That can be
all a client needs in order to share some of the feelings that might be getting in the way of engaging in reflective conversations and learning activities. Following you'll find an exercise that I adapted from Facilitative Coaching (Schwarz and Davidson, 2008, p. 135) to help clients process emotions.

  Echo Processing: A Cathartic Exercise

  Identify an issue that might be helpful for the client to clarify, release, or celebrate and for permission to address it. For example, “It sounds like you're really having a hard time with your partner teacher. Do you want to explore that a little more?” Or, “It sounds like you had a powerful experience with your students' parents. It can be really helpful to articulate those feelings. Would that be okay?”

  Ask the client to tell you as much about the issue as possible: “Don't think about what you're saying, don't filter or pause or monitor your words. Just talk as fast as possible.” Most clients love this invitation.

  As the client speaks, jot down key phrases and ideas. Nod and indicate that you're listening but don't interrupt, ask clarifying questions, or say anything. If you do this exercise repeatedly with a client, this stream of consciousness talking gets longer and deeper. When the client is done, pause for a few seconds. Take a deep breath and invite your client to take a few deep breaths. Then read back the items you noted, asking the client to just listen to what you recorded. Read your notes back as the client stated them in the first person, for example, “It felt amazing to see my students present their work,” or “I felt humiliated.”

  Finally, discuss the client's reactions to the list. Ask any of the following questions:

  Was there anything you said that surprised you?

  Do you feel like anything was missing?

  How did it feel to hear me read what you said?

  Did you come to any new awareness or make any new connections?

  What needs to happen for you to process these feelings?

  Would you like to release any of the feelings you described?

  What do you want to take away or make sure you remember?

  The authors of Facilitative Coaching suggest that this process works because often we don't know what we think or feel until we hear ourselves say it out loud (Schwarz and Davidson, 2008, p. 136). When we give clients an opportunity to talk through an issue in this way, their understanding can deepen, they feel affirmed hearing a coach echo their experience, and negative emotions can be identified and often released.

  It's important to remember that we want to help our clients fully absorb their positive feelings as well as release the ones that might be blocks. The positive experiences—successes, accomplishments—are the ones that give us the strength to go on. However, there are few venues in which these get a chance to be expressed. Using this exercise to share positive feelings can be powerful—and be warned—the tears can flow just as fast hearing a coach echo back, “It felt amazing … I was so happy … I am proud of myself … I never thought I could do that.”

  Tips for Using a Cathartic Approach

  Ask permission to invite feelings in—always!

  Acknowledge the role that emotions play.

  Affirm the value in processing and releasing emotions.

  The Catalytic Approach

  A catalyst is a stimulus to change. In science terminology, it is a substance that speeds up the rate of a chemical reaction without being consumed by the reaction. As coaches, it can be very effective to use a catalytic approach with our clients—we offer questions to stimulate change, not to force, push, or mandate. We design questions based on our understanding of where a client is and where he can go, and if we're right with our assessment, and if the question is offered with care, transformation is possible.

  A catalytic approach is most useful to help another person reflect, work through feelings and thoughts, and learn for herself. From this stance, a coach elicits self-discovery and problem-solving, encouraging the client to take responsibility for her learning and future actions. Clarifying questions can help a client make sense of something that happened, but probing questions are our basic tools when using a catalytic approach.

  Catalytic questions can sound like these:

  Tell me about a previous time when you worked with a challenging person. How did you deal with that?

  hear you're really struggling with organizing your classroom. How do you intend to start?

  It sounds like you're unsatisfied with the way that parent conference went. What would you do differently next time?

  You've just talked about five different things you want to work on this week. The last thing you mentioned is your grading system. How important is this to you?

  A catalytic approach can be used to explore the systemic issues that might be at play when a challenge presents itself. An exercise called The Five Whys can be used with an individual or a team as a catalyst for surfacing root causes to recurring problems. This exercise can be found on the National School Reform Faculty website (www.nsrfharmony.org).

  Here's what the strategy might sound like when coaching a teacher who is frustrated by low parent turnout at report card conferences.

  Coach:

  I hear that you're really frustrated by how few parents showed up to report card conferences. Can we explore what might be going on and see if we can figure out what you might be able to do? I'll use a questioning strategy called The Five Whys and I'm going to jot down some of your responses on your dry erase board, OK?

  Teacher:

  Sure.

  Coach:

  So why do you think parents aren't showing up?

  Teacher:

  They don't think report card conferences are important.

  Coach:

  Why do you think they think that?

  Teacher:

  Because they don't understand our grading system.

  Coach:

  Why don't you think they understand it?

  Teacher:

  Because they're all immigrants and even though we've translated our report card into their languages, they don't understand the concepts.

  Coach:

  What might be some other reasons they don't come to conferences?

  Teacher:

  The kids loose the flyers we send home informing them of the day and time.

  Coach:

  Why does that happen?

  Teacher:

  Because their backpacks are messy and disorganized, and they just shove them in.

  Coach:

  Why do you think that's happening?

  Teacher:

  They don't take the time to organize them. Maybe I don't give them enough time at the end of the day to put away their stuff.

  Coach:

  OK, I hear you naming something you might be able to do differently. Let's look at some of the other reasons that surfaced: parents don't understand aspects of the grading approach and parents may not know when the conferences are going on. What patterns do you see here?

  Teacher:

  I guess those are communications issues.

  Coach:

  That's what stood out to me—perhaps communications systems that could be developed. Do you think it's possible that if parents get more information about your grading systems and assessment, and if they definitely know when and where conferences take place, there might be a greater likelihood that they'd show up?

  Teacher:

  Definitely. I know they care about their kids and want to know how they're doing.

  Coach:

  Great! Let's talk about what needs to happen next then …

  When we use The Five Whys strategy (which can extend beyond five whys) we try to move clients form focusing blame on events and individuals to look for the underlying systemic explanations for the dilemmas they're facing. Often what emerges is that a number of different problems trace back to a few systemic issues. These systemic issues often affect the entire organization—the above mentioned teacher with undeveloped communication systems might also experience other fru
strations that have the same systemic breakdown at their core.

  Tips for Using a Catalytic Approach

  Nudge gently through questions.

  Notice metaphor and symbolic language; explore.

  The Supportive Approach

  Administrators: principals often need to play a supportive role with staff. These tips will be helpful.

  I had a hard time with this stance as a new coach. It felt dangerous to venture into the realm of judgment. Being supportive felt like casting positive judgment on someone and I worried that perhaps the flip side of being supportive was being critical, which was a door I never wanted to open.

  Then one day, a principal I was coaching broke down. She'd been subtly asking me to be supportive and I hadn't responded. “Everyone around me is telling me what a bad principal I am,” she said. “My teachers, my boss, my staff are all telling me what a weak leader I am, what a bad job I've done. Can't you just tell me something I'm doing well?”