The Art of Coaching

by Elena Aguilar

  Coaching teams can take up consultancies as they are described in Exhibit 15.2. During the fishbowl discussion participants can also apply the coaching lenses from the Coach's Optical Refractor as a way to deepen the conversation. The presenter might ask the participants to apply a specific lens or two, or each member can agree to listen through a different lens and contribute to the discussion from that perspective. The resulting conversation is often rich and enlightening. As a coach, I always learned the most through consultancies—whether the issue was my own or a colleague's.

  Administrators: this protocol can be used with any team of educators.

  Exhibit 15.2. Consultancy Protocol

  Time: 50 min.*

  2 Facilitator welcomes group and reviews protocol Facilitator reviews process and adjusts time if needed.

  5 Presenter preparation Presenter can do a quick write or think about what s/he'd like to ask the group for support on. If presenters know ahead of time that they'll be engaging in a consultancy, this stage may not be needed.

  10 Presenter shares Presenter shares the dilemma he/she is struggling with. He/she might also share data and might ask for feedback or input in one area or around one question. If the coaching lenses are being used, presenter can ask group to focus on specific lenses.

  8 Clarifying questions Group asks presenter clarifying questions. Clarifying questions are yes/no or require very short answers—“who, what, when, where, and how” questions. The facilitator needs to intervene if probing questions are asked.

  5 Group reflection on question and think/planning time Group reflects on the presenter's question and prepares for discussion. If the group is familiar with the coaching lenses, this can be a time to apply them.

  15 Group discussion—fishbowl Presenter sits outside of circle while group discusses dilemma presented. This is an appropriate time to raise “probing questions”—although the presenter doesn't respond, he/she can consider them. The group might use any of the following questions in discussion:What did we hear? What didn't we hear that might be relevant? What assumptions seem to be operating? What questions does the dilemma raise for us? What have we done in similar situations? The group can also share insights from applying the coaching lenses.

  Presenter can take notes if desired.

  5 Presenter reflection Presenter shares any reactions, insights, feelings about protocol or what was said; presenter doesn't need to respond to questions that were raised in the group discussion.

  * A consultancy can last from twenty to fifty minutes. These times can all be adjusted but usually a minimum of ten minutes is needed for the fishbowl discussion.

  Rubric Domain 1: Knowledge Base

  Expanding core content knowledge. An instructional or leadership coach needs a level of mastery and expertise in the area he coaches. As what is known about learning and school transformation is constantly expanding, a coach needs to be on top of the latest research. Furthermore, as a coach moves through his work, or as his assignment or context changes, he may realize that he needs to strengthen his knowledge in specific areas. As schools in the United States transition to the Common Core State Standards, all coaches will want to devote time to understanding this framework and its implications for teaching. The opportunity to grow professionally in a content area appeals to many coaches and can be done by reading, attending conferences, participating in workshops and so on; however, learning must extend beyond content areas.

  Honing analytical capacities. I suggest that transformational coaches use a set of analytical tools (the Coach's Optical Refractor presented in Chapter Four). Engaging with the sets of assumptions and questions offered with each lens is a way to expand understanding of core coaching knowledge. Given that there are no formal pathways to coaching roles, many of us who become coaches have not had an opportunity to study adult learning theory. The recommended resources in Appendix E offers suggestions for readings on the theories behind the lenses. A coaching practice can be strengthened by deepening our knowledge of the theoretical basis for coaching.

  Rubric Domain 2: Relationships

  Domain 2 outlines the relationship building skills that a coach needs. These include enrolling a client in coaching and developing trust (covered in Chapter Five).

  Although these elements must be named as practices that a coach should be skilled at, and coaches should be held to these standards, it is also true that they are very hard to measure or evaluate. This domain is included to provoke reflection and conversation.

  Cultural competence. In order to develop a relationship with a client in which transformational change is possible, a coach must be able to work across race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation, age, and language backgrounds; essentially, across any and all real or perceived differences. This ability is sometimes called “cultural competence.” Most of us, if not all of us, need to intentionally develop these abilities and not assume that we possess them. We all have our blind spots, prejudices, and fears that may be enforced by our families of origin, home communities, or the media.

  First, coaches must actively work to become aware of what those prejudices are. Most of us probably have strong hunches of which kinds of people make us feel uncomfortable or judgmental. We need to explore where these beliefs come from (see the Ladder of Inference in Chapter Two). Then we need to expand our knowledge and understanding about those groups of people who are “other” to us, although not necessarily from our clients directly—their role is not to teach us about being black, or gay, or an immigrant. We can learn by reading books—fiction and nonfiction, attending seminars or lectures, and developing personal and professional relationships with people from cultural groups different from our own.

  We also need to cultivate an internal awareness of how our limited viewpoints affect our work. Coaches need to recognize when we're being blocked by our own perceptions, thoughts, feelings, or judgments about someone else because of his or her background, culture, or way of life. This may manifest in our willingness to work with members of certain groups, in the impact we have with them (perhaps always being more effective when coaching someone of the same age range, gender, race, and so forth), or in our commitment to different kinds of clients. A culturally competent coach is effective across differences, cares about and is committed to a client regardless of her background, and isn't limited by what kind of person she works with.

  Empathy and compassion. How can a coach develop these capacities? The first step is to notice when our compassion is dwindling, which is a practice we can develop. I often imagine there's a little coach perched on my shoulder who pays attention to how I listen. This coach observes my emotions and thoughts and taps on my shoulder when I become judgmental. I am now much quicker to notice when I descend into judgment and to make a fast return to an open heart. I have a set of statements I say to myself that help me remember what I truly value and believe, that realign me to my coaching vision: What are some other ways to see this person's actions or beliefs? What else might I want to know so I can better understand where this person is coming from? And finally I ask myself, who am I to judge this person? Mentally reciting these questions usually gets me into a more humble and compassionate place.

  As you begin to explore compassion consider how you recognize this quality in others. What does it look like when others are compassionate toward you? What do you notice when you feel a lack of empathy from another? To some extent, these expressions are cultural constructs so once we have a definition for ourselves, we may need to engage our clients in a conversation about how they recognize compassion. First, we start with ourselves.

  There are many world traditions which emphasize compassion and suggest a range of practices that can help people demonstrate it. A secular practice from the Buddhist tradition is “metta meditation,” or lovingkindness meditation, which offers simple ways to cultivate empathy and compassion for others. When I have worked with difficult teachers and principals, I found these practices very helpful. The Rec
ommended Resources in Appendix E offer recommendations for books on lovingkindness practices.

  Rubric Domain 3: Strategic Design

  The work plan. Improving our strategic design of coaching begins with creating a work plan. Many of the elements named on the rubric are either actions we are taking or not taking. If you've never created a work plan for your coachees, clearly, this is the first step. (See Chapter Seven.)

  Moving into the “developing” and “refining” stages of using a work plan in a coaching practice is about the role that the plans play in our work. When I first started using work plans, I'd create them and then forget all about them until I had to write up midyear reports. As I developed my practice, I recognized how I could use work plans to guide every step of the way and to narrow and refine my conversations so that my client reached his goals much faster. Our coaching work plans are the equivalent to the long-term unit plans that intentional teachers create. The careful, methodical planning pays off.

  Planning conversations. The more we practice and prepare for conversations, the more effective they will be. This is perhaps a technical side of our art: just as no actor would dream of performing without hours and hours of practice, we can learn how to walk onto our stage well-rehearsed, but also not appearing to read a script. Chapter Four includes a sample debrief plan that illustrates how a coach can prepare for a conversation.

  Planning for conversations is especially useful if we engage in a process of analyzing a transcript of a conversation, as is described in the following section. Especially for novice coaches, as we intentionally plan how we'll ask questions, we internalize the language frames and coaching stems that make coaching transformational.

  Rubric Domain 4: Coaching Conversations

  The wise coach knows when to be silent; when to challenge; when to observe as the client moves into space and behavior that might derail; and when to intervene with humor, a story, a poem, or a practice.

  Shows and Scriber (2008, p. 16)

  Although coaches plan conversations, sometimes we need to change course midway in response to what a client says and does. For me, in order to make these decisions, I must be calm, grounded, and present for my client, and I must listen without attachment to outcome. I also need to constantly refine my listening and questioning skills.

  Listen to your own listening. One practice that I regularly engage in and that is perhaps one of the most useful is to listen to my own listening. We're usually not aware that when we're listening our mind is busy. This exercise invites you to open a window into your mind and see what it's doing. You might be surprised to learn that while engaged in a dialogue, you're listening to find something you can connect with and interject your own story. Or perhaps your mind is searching for points it disagrees with so that you can debate the speaker. The purpose for this exercise is to develop awareness of what's going on when we're listening. Just by honing our awareness, the mind quiets a little and we can make decisions about where our thoughts wander.

  You can listen to your own listening when talking with friends and colleagues. As you engage in conversation, set an intention to notice how you listen and then keep a notepad close by and jot down your observations as they arise. You might be listening to a friend's story intently and then notice a few minutes later that your awareness has shifted to your hunger or to annoyance that your friend is telling the same story again. Note your impatience and go back to listening. Listening to your own listening is an awareness to cultivate.

  Using audio and video to analyze coaching conversations. One of the most powerful ways to reflect on coaching conversations is to record them. I regularly do this with the recording software on my phone. I promise my client that only I will listen so that I can improve my coaching. I place the device out of sight and usually we both forget that it's on.

  I often transcribe my statements; transcribing what the client says is very useful but takes much more time. (Software such as Dragon Dictation is worth exploring for this purpose.) Then I consider the following:

  How much did I talk? I always aim to talk less than roughly one-quarter of the total time.

  Did I provide wait time when I asked a question? Did I allow for silence? How did the client respond to silence?

  What kinds of questions did I ask: clarifying or probing, or facilitative or directive?

  Which stances did I take: confrontational, cathartic, catalytic, supportive, informative, prescriptive?

  Which questions emerge after applying the coaching lenses?

  Then I consider the client's response. Did his thinking deepen? Did he gain clarity, awareness, or insight? In many coaching conversations there can be a turning point, a moment when the client's understanding of the situation he's in changes; he may laugh, sigh, or say something like, “That's a really good question,” or “I hadn't thought about it that way.” When this happens I try to identify what I said that made it happen.

  When conversations don't result in the client moving toward his goals, then I try to anticipate the client's response had I asked the question another way. I always look for clues in the conversation to help me figure out what I might try next time.

  When I first began analyzing my conversations, I noticed my tendency to fall into comfortable questioning routines with clients, finding that I often relied on a single stance or approach. I found that if the client had some insights I was happy and didn't dig deeper. Once I became aware that both my clients and I were usually operating only within our comfort zones, I realized I needed to push both of us.

  Videotaping yourself in a coaching conversation is also revealing. It is powerful to watch the video without sound so that you can completely focus on your nonverbal communication—often we notice things that our client may subconsciously register.

  Make your ego porous.

  Rainer Maria Rilke (Safransky, 2012, p. 51)

  Finally, when a coach asks a client for permission to record a conversation, explaining that “it's because I'm committed to improving my coaching practice,” she's modeling the reflective processes that we encourage clients to engage in. We strive to create an environment where constant learning, reflection, and risk taking is the norm.

  Listening without attachment. What does it mean to “listen without attachment?” And why is this important?

  Inherent within all coaching relationships is a power dynamic because the coach is in a position to exert influence over the client. Furthermore, coaches working in schools are expected to have a knowledge and experience base that usually surpasses those of our clients—at least in some areas. Although we are not experts on everything, our clients also need to know that we have some basis for credibility. These are tricky lines to negotiate and coaches must be extremely mindful of these power dynamics. It is our responsibility to support teachers and leaders to be autonomous, self-sufficient, empowered decision makers; this is what it means to coach adult learners. If we are not working toward this end, we run the risk that clients will shut down to coaching or become dependent on coaches.

  Sometimes when I'm listening to a client I notice that I start having opinions about actions that he should take; my questions become subtly suggestive and leading. And then I notice that I'm feeling attached to what he decides—my ego has surged and I am listening with attachment to the outcome.

  In order to listen without attachment, a coach needs to first become aware of when she is hoping that a client will do this or that, or hoping for a certain result. When we notice those tendencies, we need to consider how this shows up in our coaching, perhaps in the questions we ask or the actions we engage clients in. Being open to outcome is really a philosophical stance and can be strengthened by reconnecting with our coaching vision, beliefs, and core values (see Chapter Three). However, as transformational coaches working for educational equity, we're stuck in a contradiction: we are very attached to an outcome which improves the learning and experience for all children in schools. We must learn to hold two truths: we can o
nly coach if we are not attached to outcome and we must stay attached to the outcome of equity.

  Presence. A transformational coach has a calm, grounded presence; we create an expansive spaciousness for our client to explore his deepest beliefs and feelings, to examine his actions, and to dream and envision. We can't create this kind of space if we're filling it without ourselves or if we arrive at a coaching meeting frazzled and distracted.

  There is a range of contemplative and centering practices that can help us get grounded. Mindfulness practices based in Buddhist traditions invite us to slow down, or stop, and take careful notice of the present moment. This can be done through sitting meditation—by focusing on the breath for a period of time—or in walking meditation, or in a number of other ways such as eating silently and focusing on our meal, listening to a piece of music, or gazing at a candle. The basic premise is that we focus our attention. Meanwhile, the incessant chatter in our minds quiets. These are exercises that require practice over time.

  People who engage in reflective practice tend to have a quiet, steady, very calming presence. Their thoughts seem to come from a deeper, more analytical place, and they are often able to slow conversations down to a pace where everyone is thinking more deeply and reflectively.

  O'Neill and Conzemius (2006, p. 159)

  For some, connecting to the sacred can also deepen and calm the presence with which we show up in coaching. Expressing gratitude, reading inspirational writing or poetry, singing, being in nature, practicing various forms of visualization, and so on can help us feel more grounded. When we have daily practices we can go deeper and deeper into a quiet place from which we can access wisdom and presence. Whenever I meditate, take a long walk, or read poetry I tell myself, “This is work.” I am a much more effective coach when I prioritize these activities.