by L. A. Sable
“Don’t ask me how I found out or from who but I think he might not be your real father.”
There isn’t really a good way to describe Asher’s reaction, it’s a mix of shock, anger and an almost strange sort of relief that are nothing like what I expect, especially all mixed up together. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I saw the medical records. Your dad had blood work done right before you were born, and his sperm count was so low that it’s almost impossible for him to have fathered a child.”
“Almost impossible.” He repeats the words like he’s testing the weight of them with his tongue. “What does that mean?”
“It means that there’s a good chance someone besides Frank is your father.”
But Asher is already shaking his head, expression stony as he glares up at me. “There are a lot of dumb excuses you could dream up for coming to see me in the middle of the night, but this one is really out there.”
My fingers clench into fists, but I force myself not to react with anger because then the conversation is over.
“It’s not an excuse,” I tell him, voice placating. “I would never bring this to you if I didn’t have reason to think it was true.”
“Did you get another serious head injury when I wasn’t paying attention?”
“I saw the test results myself.”
He glares at me. “From who?”
“I can’t tell you that, but it’s a reliable source.”
“A reliable source? What are you working the beat now, like this is some story for the school paper?” Asher makes a disgusted sound and throws his hands into the air. “Why would you even come to me with this? What did you expect me to say?”
“Because I thought…” I trail off when I realize that I don’t actually know how to respond to his questions. What did I think Asher would do? Run out and get DNA testing done or reveal the deep dark family secret to me like we’re bosom buddies. “You know what, never mind. I’m sorry, this was a mistake.”
I turn away but Asher leaps from the bed at the same moment. He rushes to stand in between me and the door, blocking my path.
“Wait just a goddamn minute. You’re not going to come in here and say some shit like that then be all oh never mind. What the fuck, Lily?”
“There’s something bad going on here and you’re at the center of it. Two girls you’ve dated have suffered accidents with one of them ending up dead.” I hate that he’s standing so close, practically breathing down my neck as I watch his chest rapidly rise and fall. I force myself to look into his eyes because the sight of his bare chest is way too much of a distraction. “And I didn’t trip into the path of that bus, someone definitely pushed me. Your father has had run-ins with the law before, I can’t help but wonder if he plays a role in this.”
“He was arrested for embezzling, not attacking teenage girls,” Asher snaps, but there’s a spark of something in his eyes, an awareness that’s deeper than anything he wants to put into words. But instead of acknowledging it, he gathers himself to his full height and glares down at me, very much the imperious and entitled heir to the throne. “I don’t know where you get off going all Nancy Drew on my family, but you need to keep your nose out of places where it doesn’t belong.”
“But it’s not just your family, is it?” I say, a hint of desperation entering my voice. “My mother married your grandfather, whether or not you like it that puts me right in the middle of this.”
“So what exactly is it you expect me to do?”
“You could talk to your father.”
“Oh, just call him up and ask if there are any hidden family secrets he’d like to reveal or try to trick him into giving me a DNA sample?” Asher lets out a humorless laugh that’s more of a guffaw. Then his expression abruptly changes and he glares down at me with a gaze that’s gone as cold as ice. “Or is that your play? You know how Carter feels about any of us reaching out to my father. So you trick me into calling him up and then go running to my grandfather to get me blacklisted, or better yet, disinherited. Then there won’t be anyone left to get at his money but you and your gold-digger of a mother.”
“Watch your mouth.” I shove him with both hands but it’s like trying to move a wall of granite and I don’t have enough strength to make him even back up a step. “Not everyone’s mind goes to the darkest place like yours does. Some of us are just interested in the truth.”
“Truth? You’re really going to stand there and tell me you’re only interested in truth.” Asher leans closer, looming over me until I’m forced to take a stumbling step back. “Is that why you’ve told the other guys all about what happened between you and me, since you’re so into being honest? I bet they wouldn’t be so into you if they knew I’ve already gotten there first.”
My hand raises to slap him across the face, but he’s too fast for me. He grabs my wrist when my palm is still inches from his cheek, squeezing tightly enough that the fine bones rub painfully together. “Let go of me.”
He complies with a mocking smile. “Guess you’re not so sweet after all.”
I hold my reddened wrist to my chest and glare at him, even though the pain has already faded. “The only monster here is you.”
“Anyone is capable of anything under the right pressure.” His voice is so cold that it practically chills the air around us. “Little old ladies can push cars off their grandchildren when their adrenaline is running high enough. And laid-back girls from the Bronx can become monsters when that’s what they’re surrounded by. I’ve already seen how much this place has changed you. Why should I assume you’re not capable of the worst things?”
I tell myself that he isn’t going to hurt me, especially not with words alone, but I can’t fight the sharp pang that shoots through my chest as he glares down at me. Because I have changed and not necessarily for the better, but I’ve only done what I had to do to survive here. “You’re the one who set us up to be enemies, not me. I told you what I know because it was the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, but when the next tragedy happens, you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”
When I shove past him toward the door, I half expect him to stop me. But Asher steps aside and watches me walk past, expression brooding.
“Are you going to tell anyone else about this?” he asks as I reach the door.
I turn to glance back at him, one hand still on the doorknob. “Even if there was someone else worth telling, I wouldn’t do that.”
“Yeah, I know.” He catches my surprised look and shrugs, expression just the slightest bit sheepish. “I react poorly to surprises, you know that. How did you expect me to respond to the revelation that my father might not actually be my father?”
“Poorly,” I say with a sigh and turn back from the door. My gaze moves over him as I lean back against the wood and cross my arms over my chest. “Is that your way of apologizing for insulting me?”
“Probably the best you’re going to get, yeah.”
I roll my eyes but decide it’s probably not worth it to keep yelling at him, eventually one of his neighbors is going to hear and turn me in for breaking curfew and being in a male dorm room after hours. “I’m not trying to get you disinherited, for the record.”
“I guess if you wanted to do that, you’d just bring this information to my grandfather yourself. Then he’d have the reason he’s been looking for to disown me.”
“You don’t actually believe that,” I say, trying to sound reassuring. “Carter loves you.”
“He loves it when I do things he can be proud of, which doesn’t happen all that often.” Asher just shakes his head and goes back to the bed to lie down, rubbing his temples as if he has a headache. “There has always been this tension between all three of us. My grandfather and my father have never been close, the embezzlement problem only made things worse. And I always end up caught in the middle.”
“Well, maybe you should reach out to Frank and ask him about this, if
just for your own piece of mind. I won’t tell Carter anything about it.”
“Not likely, but whatever.”
“And maybe I can get copies of those test results, so you can see them for yourself.”
“Do what you want.” He rolls over on his side, still facing me. His gaze passes over me again. Even though I’m still in my uniform, the look he casts me instinctively makes me want to cross my arms over my chest. “It’s late and I need to go to bed. Unless you’re planning to join me, it’s time to go.”
I turn on my heel without saying another word. The image of him bare-chested on the bed is practically burned onto my retinas. Coming to his room in the middle of the night isn’t the best decision that I’ve ever made, but I feel better as I walk away, as if some weight has been lifted off me. If there’s a whole branch missing from Asher’s family tree, then he has a right to know and I can’t fight the feeling that Frank is involved in all of this somehow.
My phone pings in my hand as I make my way back to my dorm room and I glance down at it in absentminded curiosity, if just because I’m wondering who would text me this late. An electric shock runs through me when I realize that’s it a notification from the Inner Circle app, with a headline announcing that the votes for this term have been tallied.
I’ve spent the last few weeks assuring myself that I don’t really care about the vote. The only thing that actually mattered to me was being able to take Chloe down a peg or seven and becoming a Diamond is the best way to do that. Any true desire for popularity and adoration didn’t factor into it. But I can’t stop the rapid beat of my heart as I flick the app open with my thumb. My steps halt on the path and I’m only dimly aware that I’m risking a detention by hanging out here in the middle of the night.
I’m nearly one hundred percent sure that I’m not a Proli and it’s only that bit of niggling doubt that compels me to check the app now instead of waiting the handful of minutes it will take to get back to my room.
I just need to be sure.
It takes a minute for me to notice that the interface is different, especially since I’ve been switching back and forth between my account and Liam’s. So it’s still a surprise when I scroll through the announcement to the list of names, organized by rank from lowest to highest. There’s no denying the truth of it once my own name stares back at me, printed black on white in stark relief.
I’ve officially become a Diamond.
Chapter 15
Charlie is already at my door when I open it to go to breakfast the next morning. There’s no hint of rancor in her smile as she grins up at me from where she’s sitting on the sidewalk.
“Why didn’t you knock?” I ask as I lock the door behind me.
“I wasn’t sure how late you’d sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” Charlie bounces to her feet and falls into step beside me on the path toward Bellamy Hall.
“You’ve never cared about waking me up before,” I remind her.
“Well, that was before.” She raises her eyebrows, an expectant look on her face. “You saw the announcement, right?”
“Announcement,” I say with my eyes wide in mock confusion. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
It’s clear from her face that Charlie doesn’t get the joke. “Are you serious?”
“No, I’m not serious. I’ve been a student here for more than an hour. I saw the announcement as soon as it came out last night.” As I watch her shocked expression morph into one of relief, I can’t help but experience a strange sort of shock. It’s crazy to remember that she was ever my guidepost for navigating this place. “I see you managed to stay safe too, even without Chloe’s help.”
Charlie’s face falls a bit, but she keeps the overly bright smile plastered on her face. It doesn’t exactly make me feel good to remind her of her betrayal of me, but it’s the only thing I think about when I see her face.
“I can’t believe she’s not a Diamond anymore,” Charlie says, hefting her bag higher on her shoulder. “That’s like the end of an era, or something.”
I shrug, as if I haven’t spent months planning exactly that. “What goes up must come down.”
She makes a forced sort of laugh, almost a guffaw. “Those sound like famous last words.”
I notice that she’s walking slightly behind me, not enough to make conversation difficult but noticeable. I wonder if she even realizes she’s doing it or if it’s some intrinsic reaction to my change in status.
Her smile is more ingratiating than I’ve ever seen it, in a way that makes me distinctly uncomfortable. “Why are you acting so weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” she says a little too quickly so the words practically tumble out of her. “It’s just hard to know what to say now that things are different.”
I find myself inexplicably annoyed, even though I don’t have a good reason to be. “Things aren’t different. You can just talk to me the same way that you’ve always talked to me.”
“Whatever you say.”
I’d like to pretend that I don’t sense the change as we walk along the grassy pavilion, but there’s something different in the air. Even though there’s no one else in view, I can’t fight the awareness of eyes watching me. When I glance at the windows of the dorm rooms, curtains shift as if they’re being hastily pulled closed.
People are definitely watching.
“I have to admit that I was really hoping Chloe would end up a Proli.” It’s a confession I can make now that she’s too low on the totem pole to touch me. “Although I still haven’t figured what’s so bad about it. Do you end up in the basement being whipped with spaghetti noodles?”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Charlie insists, her voice hushed. “And a lot worse would have to happen to Chloe for her to fall that far. Apparently, a public breakup and STD scare aren’t enough to do the trick.”
“Makes you wonder what would do the trick. A sex tape, maybe?”
“You’re not planning anything else, are you? Because I don’t know if my nerves can take any more sneaking around.” The question is hesitant as if she’s not sure how much force to put into it. Her voice lowers as if she’s terrified of being overheard even though there’s no one within earshot. “If anybody finds out that I’m the one who switched out her suit, Chloe won’t stop until she gets me expelled.”
“Well, no one knows but you and me and I’m not planning to say anything.” My words are reassuring, but my tone makes it clear that she’ll do whatever I ask her to do because that’s the place we’ve gotten to at this point. “But I’m not worried about Chloe anymore. There won’t be anymore problems as long as she stays out of my way.”
“You’ve gone real boss bitch over here. You’re like a whole different person. It’s crazy.”
The power of it swells over me for a moment as I catch her trying not to stare at me. I remind myself that I’m just playing the game, none of this is who we really are. I’ve just done what I had to do to survive. “I’m still the same. This stuff is all bullshit, like a shared delusion that we’re all being forced to live in. I just have to keep it up for another year until I can get out of here.”
“If you say so,” she agrees, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t really mean it. “You’ll have to tell me what it’s like to be a Diamond so I can live vicariously through you.”
“Nothing is going to change,” I assure her, even as a new awareness prickles along my skin. I’m very aware of the fact that people are watching us as we mount the steps of Bellamy Hall, attention that’s even more acute than what it was like when I showed up on the first day of term looking like a billion dollars. Because now it’s not just curiosity in their gazes, but almost a fearful awe.
I’m not sure that I like it.
People that I barely know greet me by name as I walk into the building. And even though I know that my sudden popularity isn’t real, that these people can’t actually like me because they don’t even know me, it’s hard to rem
ember that it’s all a facade. They’re treating me this way because an app says they should, not because they actually want to, but if we all pretend that something is true then it becomes indistinguishable from reality.
“I think you’re wrong,” Charlie says softly as she holds the door open for me.
It isn’t until she and I sit down for breakfast that I realize just how much things have changed.
“What are you doing?”
I look up from my menu to see Grace Khan staring down at me with a confused look on her face.
“Having breakfast,” I say drolly. “I know it’s early, but you might want to grab a cup of coffee if you’re still this groggy.”
“We’re over here,” she says, as if an entire conversation has happened that I’ve forgotten. “Let’s go.”
My gaze follows her gesture to a table at the center of the room where Ocean and Maisie are already sitting.
“Um, we’re not friends.”
She just stares at me for a long moment before casting a side-long glance at Charlie. “Are you coming, or not?”
“You should go,” Charlie murmurs, looking from one of us to the other. “I can go sit with the photography club, so we can coordinate the yearbook shoots. We’ll catch up later.”
Before I can say anything to refute her, Charlie has already gathered her belongings and stood up from the table. She risks a glance at Grace, who only glares back at her, before scurrying away.
“That was rude,” I murmur, still staring at the menu.
A genuinely curious expression crosses Grace’s face. “Was it?”
“Maybe just a smidge.” When she continues to stand there, I look from her to the other table, where the Diamond girls are still staring at us. “Was there something else you needed?”
“Do you want us to come over here?” she asks on a heavy sigh. “We haven’t ordered yet.”
It’s becoming increasingly clear that having breakfast with the bitch crew isn’t optional.
“No, it’s fine. I’m coming.” Battling my own confusion, I get up from the chair and follow Grace to the other table. “Chloe isn’t sitting with you, is she?”