Broken Beats: An Illusion Series Novel

by D. Kelly

  I gasp at the headlines as I open the tabs on the computer, and Eli’s sullen gaze meets mine.

  “Can you tell me what it says?”

  “Which one?” I ask. “They’re all equally awful.”

  “All of them, please,” he mutters as he brings the coffee cup to his mouth.

  “Rory Weston and Darren Miller — The Affair and the Fallout”

  “Darren Cheats on Haddie — Is the Plus-size Beauty Too Much for Him?”

  “Sawyer Weston and Darren Miller Come to Blows! Click for photos”

  “Bastards and Dangerous on the Brink of Fallout — A Legacy in Shambles”

  “Where’s Wyatt? Rumor Has It the Band Split Long Before the Epic Fight”

  “Rory Weston — Young, Hot, and Sleeping with Darren Miller. Click for details”

  “Weston Brothers Records Circling the Drain Already”

  My heart lurches when I open the next tab. “Ugh, there’s a photo of Sawyer choking Darren. The caption is ‘You screwed my sister — we’re through’ and the article is speculating Sawyer and Darren are in a relationship.”

  “Jesus …” Eli says under his breath.

  Mel and Anna come in through the sliding glass door with bags under their eyes and matching expressions of defeat.

  Mel pours coffee for herself and Anna and starts a new pot. Anna makes the rounds giving everyone a kiss on the cheek, including me.

  She sits next to me and rests her hand on mine. “How are you doing, Haddie?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Anna arches a brow and cracks a small smile. “You’re not, but you’re good under pressure. You fit right in. We’ll help you through this. No matter what happens between Darren and Sawyer, you guys are family.”

  “What’s going on at your house?” Mac asks Mel when she takes a seat.

  “Sawyer is so angry and can’t see past it. Wyatt is trying to talk some sense into him. Ryan asked Aria to come over because she has such a calming effect on Sawyer, but that didn’t work. He won’t even hear me right now, but I think it’s because he knows I’m right, and ultimately, this isn’t his business.”

  Eli groans. “I’m sorry, guys … really. I’m never drinking gin again.”

  “That’s what I said,” Darren kisses the top of my head and pulls up a seat next to me, “right after I hooked up with Rory. While what you did sucks, I know how Rory can push people to do things they normally wouldn’t.”

  “Darren,” Anna says, “why didn’t you tell us what happened with Rory sooner? Maybe we could’ve—”

  “That’s exactly why. Rory made me promise when I started freaking out about it. She swore she’d keep it a secret. Every time I thought about coming clean, all I could think of was Sawyer’s reaction. When Jordan confessed Rory told him about us, I knew I was on borrowed time. I wasn’t ready to lose Sawyer. Hell, I’m still not. Last night seems like a bad dream.”

  Anna looks at me. “Did you know about it, Haddie? Or were you blindsided?”

  “I knew. I could be wrong, but I think I know everything. Darren and I chose to be transparent with each other from the beginning.”

  Darren clears his throat. “Actually, there’s something else I want to tell you guys. Another secret I already told Haddie. It’s about Belle and me.”

  I grab Sam’s number and stand. “I’m going to let you guys talk about this alone.”

  He reaches for my hand. “Stay, babe, it’s okay.”

  I bend down and kiss his cheek. “This might get emotional, and I think your friends should feel free to say and ask what they need to right now. I don’t want anyone to worry about my feelings and hold back. I’ll be back soon.”

  “I love you,” he says softly.

  “I know,” I answer with a smile.

  “Aren’t they so cute, you guys? Aww, I’m so happy for you, Darren.” Anna says, her voice trailing behind me as I walk down the hall.

  I grab my sunglasses and cell phone from Darren’s bedroom and go into the back yard. Taking a seat in a comfortable chaise, I dial Sam.

  “Hello,” Sam answers.

  “Hi, Sam, this is Haddie.”

  “Haddie, how are you doing today? Had I known there was going to be so much excitement last night, I might have insisted on staying after all.”

  “I’m fine. I’m worried about Darren and Sawyer though. It’s all over the internet.” I take a deep breath and try to center myself. I wish I were home in my back yard for this conversation.

  “I’m hoping I can help you put out some of those fires. Would you mind answering a couple of questions for me?”

  “I’ll do whatever I can if you think it will help.”

  “Wonderful. Did you know about Darren and Rory?”

  “Yes. What happened between them was a one-time thing, and …” My voice trails off as I try to decide if I should say anything else.

  “And what, Haddie?”

  “I’m not sure it’s relevant, so you may not want to print this. I think it was something they both needed. Rory needed to close some doors in her past in order to move on. And Darren had been so lost without Belle, I think he just needed something to make him feel again. He loves Rory and all the Westons; they’re his family. Crossing that boundary was something he never thought he’d do. He and Rory made peace with everything, and I think they grew from what happened, but there’s been a part of him that’s been lost ever since.”

  There’s a short pause before Sam replies. “And why do you think that is?”

  “It’s hard keeping secrets from the people you love most. His fear of losing his best friends has been constant torture. He knew how this would play out if it ever came to light. Darren put his life back together after his night with Rory. He’s let himself love again and find a certain level of happiness. No matter how happy you are, if fear is holding you back, you’re never going to achieve complete happiness.”

  “So Darren and Rory are only friends?”

  “They’re good friends, practically siblings, and they know their places in each other’s lives.”

  Sam clears his throat. “All this happened before you two began dating?”

  “Yes, about six months before we even met.”

  “There’s a video … it’s really more audio than anything … of you screaming that Sawyer was going to kill Darren. Can you clarify that?”

  I lean back in the chair and close my eyes. “I’m sure Sawyer wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt Darren, but it was scary. Maybe more so because I knew how fearful Darren was of Sawyer’s reaction when the secret came out. I had hoped he was overexaggerating.”

  “The two of them have been through a lot together over the years. They were always close, but when we lost Belle and Noah, everything changed. They became fathers together. Both of them are stubborn and determined, but they’re brothers. This will blow over with time.”

  “I hope so.”

  “One more question and I’ll let you go. Does what happened last night change your opinion of Darren or Sawyer?”

  I release a sigh. “Yes, but not in the way you might think. Their friendship is unique. I’m confident they can get past this. If not, they’re going to grieve all over again but this time for someone who is still here.”

  “We’re not going to let it get that far. I’m hoping to have the article out tomorrow. Thanks for your help, Haddie. If you need anything, keep my number and call me anytime.”

  “Thanks, Sam, have a good day.”

  “You too, Haddie.”

  “I’ve never been this angry before.” The voice startles me and I open my eyes to find Sawyer about five feet away from me. “Is he okay? Physically?” He looks off in the distance as though he’s deep in thought.

  “He seems to be.”

  Sawyer shoves his hands in his pocket and turns toward me. “Rory and I were never particularly close. She was Noah’s shadow growing up, and I was Diane’s. After Noah died, Rory and I had a massive falling out. Eventually, we got
past it and bridged the gap between us. She always had a major crush on Darren.”

  He sighs. “It used to worry me. There was more to it than just her crushing on her brothers’ best friend. I knew it wasn’t a harmless crush that Rory would let go. But Darren is older and more mature than her. I trusted him to never cross that boundary. I don’t think it was too much to ask.”

  “Sometimes,” I interject, “the people we trust the most do the things that hurt us the most. It wouldn’t cause so much pain if we didn’t love them. I can’t tell you how to feel, but I know Darren has struggled with this for a long time. I don’t think I’d be here if he hadn’t done what he did. I understand it’s a bad thing for you, but it’s a good thing in the end for Darren and me.”

  He kicks a rock and exhales as he rubs his temples. “I’m happy you two have each other. I’ve done some really fucked-up shit to the people I love. Knowing how it feels isn’t good. I don’t know how to look at him without feeling rage and anger. She’s my sister.”

  “What about Eli? He said he’s been with Rory and Mel. How is that different?”

  Sawyer motions to the foot of my lounger. “May I?”

  “Sure.”

  He sits facing me. “Eli and Mel were first loves and now they’re best friends. Mel introduced Eli and Rory, and they dated for a while. I guess the difference is that I got to know Eli as the guy dating my sister. He didn’t break any friend codes.”

  “Did you mean what you said last night? About selling the house and the studio?”

  Sawyer runs his hand through his hair. “In the moment, yes, but even if Darren and I have issues, it’s not fair to do that to Nate and Cady. Right now, I just need some time.”

  “I think that’s fair.”

  “Why are you outside?”

  “Sam had some follow-up questions and Darren needed to confess something to his friends, something he couldn’t hold onto after last night. I thought it best to give them privacy.”

  Sawyer groans “Another fucking secret?”

  “Yes, but I’m sure Mel will fill you in, and it doesn’t have anything to do with anyone but him. In a way, it ties in with Rory, but in the abstract.”

  The two of us sit in silence for a few moments before he finally stands. “I’m sorry about last night. Everything is a big mess and I know I have to own my part in that. I didn’t mean to scare you though. That wasn’t right.”

  The sliding glass door opens and Mel steps outside with tears streaming down her face. I feel like such an outsider right now.

  Sawyer’s mood shifts to concern immediately. “Princess, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She sits and pulls me into a hug. “Thank you,” she says through a sob, and Sawyer flashes me a quizzical gaze over her shoulder.

  “What did I do?”

  “You loved him back. You listened to him when he felt like he didn’t have a voice, and you gave Darren the courage to tell his secret. I wish I’d known sooner. Belle kept the things most important to her close to her heart until she was ready to let the world in on her happiness. It’s only because of you that he shared that beautiful story with us.”

  I shake my head. “No, he would’ve told you all in his own time.”

  “Mel what is going on?” Sawyer asks as he paces the yard.

  “Nothing you need to worry about. I’ll tell you later if you calm down a bit.”

  “Fine,” he mutters. “I’ll see you inside.”

  Mel finally releases me from her grasp and wipes away her tears. “It took me a long time to understand and recognize love. Belle, Noah, and even Sawyer had a lot of patience with me. I was literally the romance author who didn’t believe in happily ever afters, at least not for myself.” She snickers and half rolls her eyes before looking back at me. “Now that I see it, I can’t unsee it. If that makes sense. One day, that man is going to ask you to marry him. I hope you say yes because I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have join our family than you.”

  “Mel, it’s way too early to even think about all of that.”

  “Hm, maybe for you but a girl can hope. I know this is going to sound odd but Belle would have loved you.”

  That’s high praise coming from her best friend.

  “It’s hard.”

  She nods, “Trust me, I get it. Sawyer and I stumbled and fucked up so many times. There are days where I still can’t believe we managed to get over ourselves long enough to lean into our love for each other. It was hard, and there was a lot of guilt and shame. There are days we’re still filled with it.”

  “What do you do to move past it?”

  “We love each other harder when it happens. Our code has become, ‘I need to be loved harder today.’ When those words are said, we know one of us has been triggered. Maybe it’s a memory or us missing them, but whatever it may be … we talk it out. Since Belle, Darren has been closed off, but with you, he talks it out. That’s how I know you’re the one for him.”

  Mel stands, and I follow.

  “Now, I’m going to go home, pour myself a few mimosas, and toast to Belle and Darren. A wedding of the heart deserves to be celebrated, and this celebration is long overdue. Tell Darren I’ll keep working on Sawyer.”

  “I will. Enjoy your mimosas.”

  “I absolutely will.”

  Everyone is still gathered around the table when I rejoin the group. Darren stands and takes my hand. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Okay …”

  He pulls me behind him until we get to the bedroom and closes the door behind us.

  “What’s going –”

  He crashes his mouth over mine, and I part my lips, allowing him entrance. Our tongues meet, but it’s not enough. Roaming my body with his hands, he hits just about every erogenous zone within reach. We part breathlessly.

  “What was that all about?” I gasp, trying to catch my breath.

  “Us. You leave the room for fifteen fucking minutes and I miss you like you’ve been gone for hours.”

  I run my fingers through his hair. “I feel the same way. It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

  “It’s amazing. I thought I’d never have this again, and I do because of you.”

  My heart fills with his confession. “How did it go?”

  He smiles. “It was sad, but they were happy to know. I felt sort of silly telling them after all this time like it’s a huge deal.”

  “Hey, it is a huge deal, and it always will be. You married the love of your life in secret. That’s major, Darren.”

  “It is,” he laces our fingers together, “but she was one of the loves of my life. Someone recently taught me it’s possible to have more than one.

  “Is that so?”

  “Yup. How did it go with Sam?”

  “It was fine. He said the article will be out tomorrow. I talked to Sawyer too.”

  Darren steps away and crosses his arms. “Yeah? What did he have to say?”

  “He’s angry, but he doesn’t want you to sell the those or the studio. I think he just needs time, Darren.”

  “Whatever. I can’t worry about it. He won’t come around before he’s ready.”

  I step closer and peel his arms away from his chest before kissing him again. “Everything will turn out fine. You need to have a little faith.”

  “I’ll try, but Wyatt is waiting for me in the studio. Keep Anna and Eli company?”

  “Sure.”

  Darren steps out through the sliding glass door and walks toward the studio with his head down and shoulders slumped. He’s playing strong for me, but he’s far from okay.

  19

  HADDIE

  It’s been three months since Darren and Sawyer’s fight, and a lot has changed. Darren and I have become a lot closer, as have Cadence and I. She’s stolen a piece of my heart I never even knew was up for grabs.

  After their fight, the media frenzy grew tenfold. Sam’s article helped people understand us, and now the fans in our corner are calling us Harren. I
t’s absolutely ridiculous, but it would have been worse if they started calling us Daddie.

  Due to the influx in media, I’ve only spent a couple of nights at my house, and Darren stayed with me each time. We’ve basically been inseparable. He misses Sawyer terribly. Sawyer asks about Darren all the time— I know he’s coming around. Rory handed him his ass when she heard what he did. They no longer speak. She said when Sawyer forgives Darren, she’ll forgive him, and not a second sooner.

  I just finished getting ready for work and wander down the hall to check on Cadence’s progress.

  Darren is finishing her hair and they’re going over her affirmations. I’ve only caught the tail end of them once because I’m always getting ready at the same time. I pause outside the door and peek in.

  “Who are you?” Darren asks.

  “Cadence Melody Miller.”

  “What are you?”

  “I’m strong, I’m smart, and I’m happy.”

  “Do you make fun of people?”

  “No.”

  “What do you do if someone makes fun of you?”

  “I walk it off.”

  “Who do you hate?”

  “No one. There’s no room for hate, only love.”

  “Who loves you the most?”

  Cadence giggles. “You do, Daddy.”

  “And who do I love the most?”

  “Me, Mommy, and Haddie.”

  Darren pauses and moves in front of her. “Haddie, huh?”

  “You said you loved her, so we should add her.”

  Darren hugs her, and I step away from the door and blink away my tears. I hadn’t realized how much Cadence’s acceptance would mean to me until this very moment.

  I go back to the kitchen and pour some coffee into a to-go mug. There’s a knock at the sliding glass door.

  “Morning, Haddie!” Nate says as I open the door for him.

  I wish I had his kind of energy in the morning. “Good morning, Nate.”

  “I brought Cady a Pop-Tart. Can she have one?”

  “Daddy, can I have one?” Cadence pleads as she runs toward Nate with a huge smile.