What Hurts The Most

by Cheyenne Barnett

  Chapter Thirteen

  The next morning, I woke up around six and got ready for the day. By seven, I noticed that Logan still wasn’t up, so I went to check on him. He was still fast asleep and I wasn’t sure whether to wake him up or not. He’s usually gone to work by now…

  “Logan?” I yell from the doorway. He kind of moans and turns over. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?”

  “No, I’ve got the day off…” He mumbles.

  “Oops… My bad.” I turn around and shut the door. I’m sure he’ll probably go back to sleep anyway.

  I go into the living room and log onto my laptop. Andrea should be contacting me about some houses soon, so I checked my emails and sure enough, she had messaged me late last night. I pulled the email up and read:

  Good Evening, Caroline!

  I have been doing a little house hunting for you today and I found three houses that fit your description. I have attached their information with this email, so take a look and let me know which one(s) grab your attention!

  I Look Forward To Working with You,

  Andrea

  I click on the first link and see a clean, white two story house. First, I check the description. It says it has three bedrooms, two baths, a large kitchen, and two car garage. I then start to click through the pictures as Logan walks in.

  “What are you doing?” He asks, sitting down beside me.

  “My real estate agent sent me some houses to look at… Sorry, I woke you.”

  “Its fine, I needed to get up anyway. So, is this the first house?”

  “Yep, pretty nice, eh?”

  He gazes on as I continue through the pictures. Once I get back to the beginning, he points to the edge of the screen. “See that?”

  “What?”

  “Right there,” He points again, “That’s dry rotted. Trust me, you don’t want that house.”

  “Okay, let’s look at the next one…” I click on the second link and a one-story brick house appears.

  “Same problem.” He says and points to the side of the front porch.

  I glare at him.

  “What? I’m just warning you, you don’t want to get involved with something like that, it’ll cost you a lot of money.”

  “You’re ruining my enthusiasm, Logan.”

  “Better ruin it now than wait and let you pay for an inspector to come out and tell you the same thing that I just did.”

  I groan and click on my last option. God, I hope this one is okay…

  “Whoa.” This looks perfect from the outside! It’s a gray stone, two story house. It seems to have a pretty decent yard and it says it even has a full basement. “Holy crap!” I shriek once I see the kitchen. It’s fully updated, all stainless steel appliances, white cabinets, and light blue walls. “Wait, before I get excited, is there anything wrong with this one?” I ask as Logan takes control of the mouse and takes a closer look at each picture.

  “Not that I can tell.”

  “Yes! I have to call Andrea!” I grab my phone and start to call her.

  “Now, Caroline, don’t get your hopes up, you haven’t even seen it in person yet.”

  “I know.”

  The phone begins to ring…

  “This is Andrea.” She answers.

  “Hey, it’s Caroline, I just got your email and I am really interested in house number three.”

  “Oh, the gray stone?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought you would like that one. Let me get in touch with their realtor and set up an appointment. I’ll call you back shortly.”

  “Sounds good, thanks!” I hang up and look back to Logan who is just staring at me. “What?”

  “I just think you’re getting your hopes up…” He adds and stands.

  “Maybe I am, but is that such a bad thing? I’m excited, I can’t help it.”

  “I know, I know…” He starts to walk into the kitchen and I follow.

  “Logan, I know you don’t want me to move out, but I have to. I need a place of my own.”

  “I know, it’s just going to take some getting used to, is all.”

  “Come on, you’ve lived by yourself a long time. You’ve only been with me a little over a month.” He doesn’t say anything, he just opens the fridge and gets some milk. “Don’t give me the silent treatment,” I warn.

  “I’m not, Caroline. Just because I don’t comment on everything you say, doesn’t mean I’m ignoring you.”

  I roll my eyes and go back into the living room. Why does he have to be so difficult? It’s not like I’m moving yet, I’m going to look at a house that I might make an offer on. And even if I do like it, the family still has to accept me and then I have to go through God only knows how much paperwork, it could take months for me to move. I just don’t understand why he isn’t happy for me…

  I start to log off my laptop as my phone rings. I check the caller ID and see that it’s Andrea.

  “That was quick,” I answer.

  “I know, I wasn’t expecting to get an answer so soon either. Their realtor happened to be a good friend of mine and she said that the family is moving out of state and would like to sell the house as quickly as possible. She said that if you have time, we could go check it out around nine this morning?”

  “I can do that, no problem.”

  “Great! I’ll text you the address, see ya then!” I hang up the phone and check the time. It was already eight, so I needed to hurry and finish getting ready.

  “Are you going to see it today?” Logan asks as I walk to my room.

  “Yes, I have to be there at nine.”

  “Would you mind if I tagged along?”

  “Can you be nice and not so judgy?”

  “I wasn’t being judgy, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up and then not be able to get the house.”

  “Whatever happens, happens. Now, I’ve got to get ready, if you can be the Logan that I know and leave the ‘Captain’ here, you can come.”

  I went into my closet and grabbed my shoes. I did a quick hair and makeup check, then I headed out the door. Logan was right behind me.

  “Captain?” I ask.

  “Nope, just Logan.”

  “I’ll hold you to that,” I add as we walk to my car. “Now, you’ve never ridden in Phoenix, so I’ll give you the ground rules. Keep your shoes on the mat, don’t roll them around on my carpet, if you do, I’ll kill you. Don’t touch my windows, I don’t want to see any fingerprints, anywhere… Basically, just don’t touch anything.” He laughs as we enter the car. I fasten my seatbelt and check my phone for the address. I type it into my GPS as Logan watches me, trying not to laugh.

  “What?”

  “Nothing…” He looks away.

  “Alright, Phoenix, let’s go,” I say as the GPS responds,

  “Pull out onto Base Drive. Continue straight for point two miles.”

  “It talks back to you, really?” He asks.

  “Logan, it’s a GPS, of course, it does.” I pull out of the base’s entrance and turn right onto the highway. “Phoenix?”

  “Continue straight on Woodlawn Street for six miles.”

  “What possessed you to get a Mustang?”

  “Well, actually, I used to have one in high school. Then when Nick and I were engaged, I traded it in for the SUV. If Nick and I had started a family, a Mustang wouldn’t have been a good idea, so I had to let her go…”

  He nods and looks out the window.

  “Turn right onto East Randolph Road for two miles,” Phoenix says a few minutes later.

  “Doesn’t that kind of creep you out?” Logan asks, breaking the silence.

  “What?”

  “The car… I mean, it talks…”

  “It’s no different than a GPS on a phone.”

  “Technology is just getting weird.” He mutters.

  After another ten minutes of following directions, we finally pull up on a private drive off a subdivision. Sure enough, the gray stone h
ouse appears in the distance. I hadn’t even seen the inside yet and it already felt like I was going home…

  “The house was built about five years ago by the family that is currently living here.” Andrea begins as we meet her in the drive. “The landscaping was professionally done about two months ago and they just had the house freshly painted,” Andrea says as we walk through each room on the main floor. Logan has inspected every little detail of this house since we arrived.

  “If they built it themselves, why move out so soon?” Logan asks as we stand in the center of the kitchen. This room was one of my favorite rooms in the house. It looked exactly like the pictures.

  “The wife is actually the one that is selling the house. Her husband took a corporate job out of state and she’s desperately trying to sell so she can move up there with him.”

  “Is that why the price is so cheap?” He asks and she nods.

  “She has really come down quite a bit from what the house was originally appraised for. She’s really desperate.” Andrea walks to a door below the main stairwell. She opens it and another stairwell appears.

  “Basement?” I ask.

  “Yep, let’s see what’s down here.”

  Logan and I follow her. Once the room opens up, I see that it’s completely finished and is complete with a separate storage room and half bath.

  “So, what are you thinking?” Andrea asks curiously.

  “I really, really like it…”

  “Is it good enough to make an offer?”

  I start to reply but Logan interrupts. “Can we have a moment?”

  “Of course, I’ll be right upstairs.” She adds and disappears from view.

  “Why’d you do that for?”

  “Are you seriously going to put an offer in on the first house you see?”

  “Logan, this house is perfect for me! The price is unbelievable, I would be an idiot to pass it up!”

  “I know that everything sounds good and all but are you sure you’re ready for all of this? Moving is not the easiest thing in the world and you don’t have any furniture what so ever.”

  “I’ve been ready for this for a long time. This house is everything I pictured in a dream house. It was meant for me to have. I know that I don’t have much to put in it right now, but hey, that’s nothing a little shopping can’t handle.”

  He doesn’t say anything, he just looks around the room.

  “What’s the real reason you don’t want me to buy this house? Just tell me.”

  “I don’t have a real reason… I would just rather you stay with me is all.”

  “Why? I really would like to know what’s going on in that head of yours. I would really like to be able to read your mind, but sadly I didn’t get that gift, so you’re going to have to tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I just hate living alone sometimes… I end up acting like a zombie. I get up, go to work, yell at people, go home, eat, sleep, and repeat. It’s boring. I mean, when you leave, who am I going to aggravate? Who am I going to tell all my stupid problems to? I guess I could talk to the walls, but they don’t exactly have as much sarcasm as you do.” I laugh and give him a solemn look.

  “I’m sure we’ll still talk, we just may not be around each other quite as often. It’s not a big deal anyway, we are only like five minutes away from each other, if I get the house. Besides, you’re single and you need to mingle a bit, and no girl is going to come see you if I’m there.” I joke, but he doesn’t seem to think it’s funny. “What? Too soon?”

  “Did you forget that I kind of told you I was in love with you the other day? Or did you try to forget that like you do everything else you don’t want to hear?”

  Ouch.

  “I don’t want to do this right now,” I mutter and start up the stairs.

  “Why, Caroline? It’s not like you’ll ever give me the time of day anyway.”

  I’ll admit, that kind of hurt my feelings. Why can’t he get it through that thick skull of his that I am not ready to move on? It’s not even been two months yet! I need time.

  I need space.

  I shook it off and found Andrea standing in the kitchen. Once she hears me enter, she turns to me. “I would like to make an offer on the house. Where do I sign?”

  After I signed all the paperwork, it was time to go. Andrea would present my offer to the house’s realtor and would let me know as soon as she heard from the owner. She told me she was almost positive that they would accept since I was really the only one that should that much interest in the house. I really hope she’s right, if I do get it, I would finally own my dream house…

  “Keep your phone close, I’ll be contacting you soon!” Andrea adds as I get in the car, only to find Logan already sitting in the passenger seat. I wanted to say something to him, but I honestly just couldn’t…

  I just started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

  “You put in an offer?” He asks, breaking the silence.

  “Yes, I did.”

  He doesn’t say anything, he just stares out the window.

  I groan and suddenly everything within me explodes. I’m tired of him treating me this way! I pull over on the side of the road and turn to him.

  “I can’t take it anymore, Logan! You’re driving me crazy! Why can’t you just be happy for me? I considered you a good friend! I’ve told you things that even my parents don’t know! You’ve seen the good and the bad in me and yet you still put up with me! Friends are supposed to make each other feel good about themselves and tell secrets and be there for one another! But ever since you kissed me, all you’ve made me do is feel like crap! I mean, for once in my life, I feel guilty!”

  “You should.” He mutters.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. After everything I’ve done for you, you could at least give me a chance. Hell, I killed someone for you!”

  That hurt.

  “Well, I’m sorry that I didn’t die. I shouldn’t have even called you.” I add and pull away from the curb.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  “I don’t know what you mean anymore! You just said that I should feel guilty! I don’t understand anything about you… You aren’t the same person you used to be.”

  “What does that mean?” He asks, getting a little defensive.

  “At home you were caring and selfless, you wanted to help me. We actually had fun. But ever since we moved here, you don’t care… We argue all the time and you don’t even try to fix-” I stop… I shouldn’t go there…

  “Fix what, Caroline?”

  “Me.” I stare at the road as I begin to turn into the base. I roll my window down and show my ID as the gates swing open.

  “Caroline, I’m still me and you're still you… I’m sorry that I made you feel like crap, that wasn’t what I meant… You were just frustrating me and I took all my anger out on you. I told you I didn’t want you to move out, but now I understand. I wouldn’t want to live with someone that made me feel like that either. I just wanted an answer from you was all.”

  I put the car in park in our driveway. “I gave you an answer that day as well. It may not have been what you wanted to hear, but I said that I wasn’t ready. But what I did tell you was that I would let you know when I was. And I meant that.”

  He smiles, “You will?”

  “Yes, trust me, you will be the first to know.”

  “So, you would give me the time of day?”

  “Logan, you already occupy my day, we just aren’t on that level… Yet.”

  His smile grows bigger, “Yet. I like the way you said that.”

  “I know.”

  “Maybe you moving out is a good thing.” I look at him.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because, if you still lived here when we reach that level, I may not be able to contain myself.”

  I shake my head, “T-M-I, dude. T-M-I. Now, get out of my car.”

  He laughs and opens the door.
/>   Contain himself? Really?

  I giggle in amusement.

  That will definitely be something to look forward to…