by Skye Horn
As the shadows disappeared from around her, Kieran was grateful for the privacy his wings provided. He stared at her, watching a million emotions play behind her eyes, until finally she settled on looking angry with him and smacked him across the face with a loud crack. He tried desperately hard not to stagger backwards from the force of it. Her face was once again full of agony, but the shadows were nearly gone. He hesitantly reached out to cradle her chin so that he could see her beautiful gray eyes, not caring that she’d hit him. He’d likely deserved it after tackling her. He couldn’t blame her for the adrenaline rush she was feeling.
“You kissed me,” she said. Her voice no longer terrified him.
“And it worked.” He looked, thankful, into her untainted eyes. He’d shocked her enough to regain control of herself.
“I wanted to kill her,” Thea said, collapsing against his chest in agonized sobs that rocked her entire body. “I couldn’t stop it. I would have killed her.”
“Who was he?” Kieran asked, so softly that he thought maybe she wouldn’t hear him. He couldn’t help himself. He’d just kissed her, and felt like his world might explode into happiness, but a man lay dead just a few feet away from them. A man she’d apparently cared so much for that she would use dark magic to avenge his death.
It made his heart ache in a way it never had before.
“I would have killed her, Kieran, and it wasn’t even her. Morrigan possessed her somehow. I think she wanted me to kill Amara so I’d be a murderer, just like my father.”
The doors of shops and cellars were opening, revealing villagers who had been watching everything that had happened from the safety of their hiding spots. It infuriated him that no one helped the princess, but that was his job. That was the job of the soldiers assigned to protect the village today. What had Amara done to them to keep them away? He feared the worst for his comrades, but didn’t let go of Thea.
He needed to protect her. He wrapped her more tightly within his wings, burying the questions he longed to ask. He didn’t know how Morrigan could have gotten into Amara’s head, but if she had, then they had a whole new set of problems to deal with.
Amara had fled, aware that she could not defeat her sister yet again, but he wanted nothing more than to go after her and kill her himself for the pain she’d caused Thea. He fought that darkness within himself, though, pressing his lips to the top of Thea’s head as Ethel approached them tentatively.
“You and Mirielle get these people away from her.”
Ethel nodded and then looked at the dead body with a pale face. The boy in the courtyard was not the only one dead today. As the dark magic cleared away, Kieran saw the destruction that Amara had left behind. Villagers wandered the streets, calling out for their loved ones and checking the bodies of the dead with grim faces of despair.
“Is the princess going to be okay?” Ethel asked, as if Thea were not right there, cradled against him.
Kieran didn’t answer, because he didn’t want to lie. Ethel seemed to understand and left them to tell the villagers who lingered to give them space. Thea was fading out of consciousness in his arms. She’d used magic far beyond her experience, and dark magic at that. He wondered how long it would take her to recover this time and regretted ever leaving her alone in the first place. He’d thought the village was safe under the King’s Guard, but Amara had found a way in.
Now, people were dead because Kieran had underestimated Amara yet again, and Thea had nearly destroyed her soul by using dark magic. His guilt was nearly unbearable, but he had a job to do.
“Don’t leave him there.” Thea’s voice was nearly inaudible. She no longer cried, but she stared at the body in the snow. Her face mirrored the snowy paleness before she fell into complete unconsciousness.
Kieran cradled her familiarly into his arms and walked over to the body of the man. He looked around and found Mirielle watching him. Her eyes were full of tears, and he knew that, just like him, she blamed herself.
“I’ll prepare him for burial,” she said to Kieran.
“She must have really loved him,” he said to no one in particular, merely needing to get the thought off his chest. Mirielle heard him as she leaned down to close the man’s open eye.
She reached to pick up a crumpled piece of paper from the snow, handing it to Kieran.
“We all had first loves,” she breathed.
Kieran had never loved anyone, but he didn’t argue with Mirielle. Instead, he slipped the paper into his pocket.
He held Thea more tightly, a single tear trickling down his cheek and into the princess’ hair, before soaring into the sky with her tucked safely into his arms.
Chapter 10
Thea awoke violently from a terrible nightmare a few hours after the incident in the courtyard. In it, Marcus begged her not to leave him, while Kieran beckoned her from across the Threshold. Just as she turned to go to Kieran, Thea heard the terrible sound of skin being ripped and a gurgle of gasps for air, but she could not turn to see what had happened.
Instead, she awoke screaming.
“Thea.” Kieran’s voice was gentle as she bolted straight up from his bed, her eyes flying open. He sat at the edge, but no one else was in the room with her. She recalled with terrible certainty what had happened.
“Where is he?” she asked, and then noticed the crumpled letter beside a glass of water on the nightstand. She snatched it up as quickly as she could manage and looked at Kieran accusingly. “Did you read it?”
“Yes.” He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Mirielle is preparing his body for burial.”
Thea didn’t reply and Kieran wouldn’t look at her; he just continued to stare at his hands. Everything that had happened felt like a blur, a nightmare she wanted to forget, but she remembered enough.
“Why did you kiss me?” This caught his attention, and he looked up.
“I thought it would surprise you enough to remind you that you’re not a murderer,” he said, but Thea frowned.
“Afterwards—” She recalled the look on his face as she faded in and out of consciousness. That look didn’t add up to his words.
“You were pretty out of it,” he said with guarded eyes and stiffening shoulders. “I just wanted to protect you. I am your guard, after all.”
The words stung, but Thea lifted her chin a little higher, refusing to look away from him.
“I see. And you read my letter, why? Because that was your guard duty as well?” His faced darkened, and he turned to face her, placing his hands on each side of her. She did not flinch at the closeness of his face to hers, nor the anger burning behind his eyes.
“You have a lover to bury, Princess Thea.” His breath smelled like alcohol.
He stood up, but she reached out to stop him, wrapping her hand around his wrist.
“You’re jealous that I mourn for a man I used to love?” The anger in her tone was unmistakable. There was no point in hiding it.
She’d just watched someone she’d once loved be tortured and murdered right in front of her, and now a man she had undeniable feelings for was going to be angry at her for being upset? She didn’t have the energy to deal with such childish behavior, and yet she couldn’t let him walk away.
“Did you even read the letter at all?”
Kieran seemed at a loss for words. He was still very obviously angry, but with his wrist in her grip, he looked like an animal caught in a trap. Even under the influence of alcohol, he wouldn’t rip himself away from her. She tugged him back down to the bed, scooting over so that he could sit beside her.
“If I was in love with him, would I have stayed here for so long?” she asked.
Kieran wouldn’t meet her eyes, but she no longer cared. The guilt consumed her once more as she thought of herself and Amara. For a single moment, she pictured what she might have done if it had been Kieran broken in the snow, and not Marcus. She felt as if she were betraying Marcus for it, but it was a question she needed to ask herself. She’d found the power to hur
t Amara, but not until after Marcus was dead—when her grief had taken the reins.
But she hadn’t saved him. She’d been too weak.
Before Kieran had arrived, she’d wanted to kill Amara. However, he’d stopped her—not because he’d kissed her or made her a better person suddenly. No, she’d stopped because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him too. If it had been Kieran lying on the ground, bleeding out in front of her—an incandescent rage threatened to consume her even at the thought—no one would have stopped her from taking her revenge.
Thea knew without question that if Kieran lay dead in front of her, she would have already been dead.
“I don’t know,” he finally replied. Thea painted her heart on her sleeve, but his look of confusion told her he didn’t understand at all what she felt.
“Tell me something, Kieran.” Thea met his eyes, nervous about the words she would say next, because they could shatter her if she was wrong. “If I left you here today and went back, would you ever be the same person again?”
“No.” She couldn’t even hold her breath; his answer came instantly. “I would go with you,” he added, surprising her. She felt the weight of anxiety lift and rested her head against his shoulder.
“I won’t lie to you and say I didn’t love Marcus. Amara will pay for what she did to him, but don’t be angry with me for my past. I choose to remain here with you, with Ethel and Iris, with Mica and Mirielle. Every single day, I choose you all. I left my entire life behind for—”
“I’m sorry,” Kieran said, turning her face towards his. “Of course you have a past. I guess I just forget you lived an entire life without me.”
Thea’s lips pulled up into a small smile. It was true; she'd lived an entire life without him, but it had been a half-life. She’d been unsure what her purpose was for so long, and now it was completely clear. She didn’t know what would happen between her and Kieran, but she knew that she was where she belonged. She’d found her home and her family, even if they were unconventional.
“Tell me about Marcus,” Kieran said, pulling her against his chest. She let out a quiet sob as he kissed the top of her head. “Tell me about everything. I’ve been selfishly pretending your world only existed here. You had a life, and I want to know everything about it.”
Thea looked at Kieran thoughtfully. His anger was gone, and despite the smell of alcohol on his breath, she knew he wasn’t drunk. His eyes were more green than blue today, and his lashes were wet. She wished she’d told him everything earlier, that he’d known about Marcus before reading her letter, but there was no way to remedy that now. So instead, they both sat with their backs against the wall that bordered the bed, feet outstretched in front of them, as she told him her story.
She started with her parents, explaining how she hadn’t known she was adopted until after their deaths. There were so many things she wanted to say. She missed her parents desperately, and the guilt of their deaths weighed heavily on her heart. She’d survived the car accident miraculously, but that had left her with an immense amount of survivor’s guilt.
Kieran listened without comment, allowing her to speak freely about whatever plagued her mind. He wiped away her tears when they trickled from her eyes and stroked her hair away from her face when it fell. At one point, he pulled her closer so that her legs splayed over the top of his. It was the most comfortable she’d ever felt with him. All worry of saying the wrong thing, or not seeming like a princess, disappeared, and for the first time in weeks she finally opened up to him.
When it came time to talk about Marcus, Thea’s throat threatened to close up. She developed cotton mouth in her nervousness, and Kieran, seeming to sense the discomfort, handed her the glass of water from the nightstand. The cold liquid helped as she reminded herself that anything she said now was about the past, but the haunting thought that Marcus was dead because of her remained present at the back of her mind as she spoke.
She told Kieran that she and Marcus had met in high school and then explained to him what high school was. She talked about Marcus’ family and how he would often stay at her house to avoid his terrible parents. When she came to the time of her parents’ death and the funeral, Thea’s eyes filled with tears as she explained how much Marcus had taken care of her, even though they’d broken up.
“I didn’t deserve the way he loved me,” she said. “I could never reciprocate it in the same way, no matter how hard I tried. We loved each other, but it wasn’t the passionate love writers rave about or artists paint.”
“Faeries believe in soulmates,” Kieran said, stroking his finger over the back of Thea’s hand. “Legend says that Ainé’s soulmate was a human, which is why our race is not immortal like the Goddesses. We come from the Goddess’ intimacy with a mortal, and although we live longer than most humans, eventually we grow old and pass onto the next life.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” Thea asked.
“Yes. My mother and father were soulmates. When my mother was murdered, it was like my father died too.”
“It seems selfish that your father would care more about your mother than you.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think he meant to leave me. He knew Iris would take care of me if anything were to happen, so he sought revenge.”
Thea thought about the revenge she wished to mete out for Marcus’ death, but it was not enough to make her irrational now that the initial shock had worn off. Mostly, she felt guilt. She remembered what Amara had said about it being Morrigan who’d killed Marcus. She wanted Morrigan to pay, but she couldn’t exactly kill an immortal Goddess, especially the Goddess of Death itself. She blamed Amara for part of what had happened, but the look in her eyes when Thea had begged for Marcus’ life had not been malicious or evil; Thea couldn’t just ignore that.
“When I saw you standing over Marcus’ body surrounded by dark magic, I felt like I was being ripped to pieces. I thought of the person you might have become had you let it consume you, and I would have rather been dead myself.”
Thea tilted her head up and pressed her lips to Kieran’s. The guilt she felt over Marcus’ death overwhelmed her, but so did her need to be closer to the one person who made her world feel sane. He’d saved her from a terrible fate. Despite the pain he felt, he’d stood by her side as he’d promised he would always do.
His current hesitation lasted only a second after her lips met his. She felt his breath catch, but the surprise faded quickly. His lips warmed her own, making her head spin. When he’d kissed her before, it had shocked her. Now, he was the one reacting. His hand slipped underneath her and pulled her into his lap, gently, as if she might break. He shifted his wings into a more comfortable position while she traced her tongue across his bottom lip.
A small sound escaped Kieran’s lips; it threatened to make Thea’s world explode. The anger and guilt she’d felt since waking up melted away, or perhaps it fueled the passion and eagerness behind the kiss. Her breathing quickened and the only thing in the entire world she could think of was Kieran. All sense of control disappeared as his teeth grazed her lips in a playful bite, and her body’s quivering response did not escape his notice. His hands travelled down her back, resting on her hips to press her down against him as his fingertips played with the hem of the sleep shirt she wore. An audible gasp escaped her lips before she could stop herself.
She should have felt shy or embarrassed by the lack of clothing, but she felt none of that with him; everything felt right. At least, until the bedroom door opened.
Thea nearly fell off the side of the bed at the sound, quickly pulling the blanket up to her shoulders. Although she was technically fully clothed, she felt disheveled as she stared at Ethel standing mouth agape in the doorway. She held a pile of fresh clothing for Thea, clothing that Thea noticed did not appear to be dresses, but rather some sort of careworn leather. Ethel’s cheeks flushed as she looked between Thea and Kieran, but she didn’t say a word. Kieran on the other hand had jumped into a standing position
as far across the room as possible, looking exactly like a deer staring into headlights.
“Did you need something, Ethel?” Thea finally asked, unable to stand the silence between the three of them any longer. Her voice shook even as she tried to steady her breathing.
“I brought you new clothes,” Ethel said a tad too quickly. “For the…” she looked again between Kieran and Thea with disbelief and confusion.
“For the funeral,” Kieran finished the sentence Ethel had failed to. His eyes lowered to the ground. Thea looked at the pile of clothes that Ethel was placing on the bed.
“Are those pants?” Thea asked, unfolding the clothing. Sure enough, there was an outfit very similar to the one Kieran wore in front of her. She hugged the clothes to herself with a smile. “Oh, thank the Goddess!”
A small smile played across Kieran’s lips, and Ethel just managed to cover up her laugh.
“You acted like a soldier in the village, when you put your own life at risk for the villagers. You were a genuine leader, and therefore, we may have convinced Iris that a queen doesn’t have to follow any rules. Is that how you said it before?” Kieran and Ethel grinned at each other and then at Thea. “I’ll leave you to get ready. The funeral is at sunset.”
Kieran’s look of longing had not disappeared, even with the tension growing in the room, but with a bow, he left Ethel and Thea to get dressed for the funeral. Thea wished he hadn’t gone, but seeing Ethel’s accusing look, she had a feeling she was about to be scolded.
“You will break his heart,” Ethel said, her voice uncharacteristically cold.
Thea just stared at her in confusion.
She would break his heart? Was it not clear to everyone that Kieran was completely out of her league and quite literally had done nothing but tell her they can’t be together since the moment she arrived?