Loved by the Alpha Wolves

by Anastasia Chase

  But oh how much I didn't want it to end. I hadn't felt like this in such a long time. It was bittersweet to know it was all going to end soon. Soon, but not for long. I was determined now to do a show with them, no, several. Being in their company would make everything so much easier. There would be no reason to hide my wolf. No excuses to make up as to why I needed to take a trip out of the city every now and again. I could be more of myself than I had ever had the chance since coming to this place. It was a small step toward the freedom I had once experienced, and it was a new goal for me to aim for.

  9

  The crowd broke out in roars and applause, everyone jumping from their seats. I was caught up in the moment and joined them as the three men on stage took their bows and waved to their dedicated fans. Madeline was at my side, her hands cupped around her mouth to project her cheers. It was surreal and not at the same time, my mind blanked as I watched them leave the stage. Devoid of their presence, the magic was gone from the room and everyone quickly deflated to their normal mindset, chatting and whispering to each other as if nothing had ever happened. But I knew better, and it was my secret to keep.

  "So what did you think of the show?" Madeline tugged on my arm. "You haven't said anything."

  "Oh, I thought it was great! They definitely know how to work a crowd." In more ways than one.

  "So you think it will work out?"

  Most definitely.

  "I think so. I'm going to go over some of their songs tonight, see if they want me to sing on stage with them or find a cover to perform by myself." Songs were going to be the very last thing on my mind tonight. I found it hard to sit still with the adrenaline coursing through me, my knee rapidly bouncing under my hand. I wished I had gotten the opportunity to get up and dance, but this room was much too small to be conducive. I had all this energy and nothing to do with it.

  I peered back at the bar, wondering if I should get another drink when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Somehow, Xavier had slipped out from backstage without anyone noticing and had found me amongst the sitting crowd.

  "Looks like you enjoyed yourself," he said, not caring about the pairs of eyes around us gawking at him. I could smell the anticipation immediately around us; people were ready to jump out of their seats and start asking him for an autograph.

  "I did! You guys were great up there!"

  He must have smelled the same thing because he was jabbing a thumb toward one of the exits and looking eager to leave before they jumped him.

  "Hey, you mind going out for a smoke with me? So we can talk?" He playfully batted his thick, long lashes at me, his bright blue eyes piercing the darkness.

  How could I say no to that? To have some time alone with the man I had daydreamed about? As professional as I wanted to remain, Xavier was completely irresistible, and I found myself jumping out of my seat and following behind like a lost puppy as he headed to the back exit. Thankfully, I noticed a pair of their supposed bodyguards covering our "escape" so that no one else would follow. I didn't even chance a glance back at Madeline; I already knew the look she was giving me.

  The heavy door fell open with a thunk and he propped it open with a random brick to prevent us from being locked outside. I hesitated for one second, the question hanging from my lips that an alarm would sound, and we'd get in trouble. But my inquiry was already forgotten as I stared at every move he made and watched intently as his fingers slid in his pocket, retrieving a lighter and went to work on getting a flame started. Sparks sputtered out at each striking of his thumb, briefly bathing his face in orange light for a split second before he was plunged into darkness once more. His expression grew more annoyed in each lit moment until a tiny flame was born. Satisfied, he kept it going as he fetched a pack from his back pocket and held it out for me to take.

  I had never seen this brand of cigarettes before, but they definitely looked expensive. I extracted two from the box and instead of taking them from me, he turned around and stuck his butt out to indicate where they belonged. I was glad he couldn't see the childish smirk on my face as I took my time sliding them back in his pocket. My hands lingered in his pocket, mere inches from the skin beneath the denim. A twitch of my fingers and I felt the taut muscles coupled with a slight softness to his rump. Xavier jerked slightly in surprise but there was a devilish grin on his face when he turned around. He was liking this attention.

  The sweet spice of the cigarette stung my nose once it was lit, and he flicked the lighter closed. I was about to protest since he had offered me one and was stunned into silence when I felt his fingers against my mouth. The cigarette rested between them, and I parted my lips slightly to take it. I could feel the callouses he had developed against them, unrelenting rough skin that worked miracles on his guitar. I couldn't help but wonder what those hardened pads on his fingers would feel like against the rest of my skin. A chilly gust of wind added to the goosebumps covering my skin, and I tried to tamp down the first images drummed up by my mind before they became too intense.

  He smirked down at me and twin plumes of smoke escaped his nostrils. Could he smell the hint of lust on me?

  "Here." He caught my chin between his fingers and held me in place as he neared, the cigarette hanging from his lips. It was difficult to escape those piercing eyes as he lit my cigarette with his, the small cherry-red light igniting between us until I saw the smoke rise. They seemed to be reflecting back more light than was present, his eyes practically glowing despite the dark alley we were in. That's when I heard the feral snort and smelled an unmistakable musk. He was letting go of some of his glamour, letting out a minute amount of his wolf for me to see. It wasn't enough to change his face or to prevent him from talking; it was just enough for someone like me to be put on notice.

  "You're gonna get caught..." I whispered and took a long drag of my cig. He hadn't stepped back just yet and I was drowning in his smell and blinding eyes. Another gust of wind, but there was so much heat between us that I barely noticed.

  "Out here? By ourselves? In the dark? I hardly think so..." He inhaled deeply and trapped my wisps of smoke in his nostrils, adding it to his own. He held his breath for a few seconds before he exhaled right into my face. I winced at the small sting of the smoke in my eyes, but returned the gesture, inhaling his vapors to add to my own. A recycling of nicotine, a sharing of what we were with each other in the solitude of an alley.

  "You never know. Why take the chance?" The air was tense but in a very pleasant way. It felt electric, much like it had when they had been on stage. This, however, was more personal, one-on-one. I understood now why my subconscious had chosen him for that daydream. He was more than just the wild child of the group: he knew how to have fun and how to satisfy anyone he chose to dedicate his time to.

  "Life is made of risks. You should know that, being here. Why not live it to the fullest seeing how close you can get to that line without crossing it?" It was then I felt something slip down the front of my shirt. I peered down to spy a small piece of paper sticking out of my cleavage. Xavier's smile gave me chills, and I plucked it out to see a phone number written across it in small messy numbers.

  "Are you crossing that line now, Xavier?"

  "You know it, babe. Willing to go over it with me?"

  An infinite loop of smoke continued between us until he extracted the cigarette from his mouth and flicked the dead grey ashes to the ground. I did the same, crestfallen that the moment between us had ended. It was likely for the best; if we had continued like that, I probably would have ended up pinning him to the wall and having my way with him. Not the best way to start our new, professional relationship.

  "All it takes is one slip for someone to start falling with no one to catch them. I can't take that risk, not when I don't have anyone to rely on."

  The playful nature of his expression changed to concern, his brows slightly knitting together. He took another drag and exhaled sharply, the smoke jettisoning from his lips and fading into the night air.

&nb
sp; "Your pack all dead?" he asked quietly, his voice low.

  "No. Too many females. You know how it is."

  "Mhm." He grimaced and tossed the rest of his unfinished cigarette to the ground before stamping it out. I didn't know what to make of his response. It wasn't a note of shame to be exiled from one's pack. It happened more often than not. Which left me confused about his reaction.

  "What do you mean 'mhm'? Have you got a problem with that?" I wasn't going to just let it slide. If he had something to say, I wanted to hear it.

  "No, no problem. I just didn't think that was the reason someone like you was out here, living in the city."

  "Someone like me? And what's that supposed to mean?" How did this get from flirting to veiled insults?

  "I mean...what I mean is you're hot. And you smell freaking fantastic. You look like a good hunter. And you would have made an excellent mate for anyone in that camp. Why would they want to get rid of someone like you?!"

  The compliments soothed my anger and made me feel like a fool. I was glad it was too dark for him to see my embarrassment written all over my face.

  "All those stupid rules...they never made any sense to me. But who is going to argue with centuries of tradition?" Xavier huffed as he went for another cigarette then thought better of it. It was the first time I had seen a passion in him that wasn't about music, and his annoyance came from a pure place that I found touching. It was a nice surprise to discover he had other interests besides being on stage and screwing around.

  "Here. You look like you need it." I offered him the last of my cigarette. The bite of nicotine on my tongue was no longer inviting. He gave me a puzzling look before taking it. I could see the faint traces of my lipstick around the filter, but he didn't seem to mind the secondhand kiss.

  He finished it off and tossed it away into the darkness of the alley.

  "Is that another reason why you are out here? Not wanting to play by their rules anymore?" I had to know. Being exiled from one's pack was a lot different from straight-up abandoning them. Wolves like that were never welcomed back in. That act was seen as traitorous and no pack would welcome them in, even in the most dire of situations.

  "Can we talk about something else?" He exhaled the last of his smoke, his head tilting to gaze up at the sky. Thankfully, it was perfectly clear. The stars were bright and twinkling, and I could even pick out a few of the planets visible during this time of the year. The night air grew silent between us since I couldn't find anything else to talk about. The heat that had been growing inside me suddenly went cold and I hugged myself to keep the chill away. I wanted to go back to those carefree moments when we were listening more to our bodies than each other's mouths.

  "Ah, so this is where you escaped to." A blond, smiling face peeked around the ajar door. It was Landon, and Jasper soon followed behind. I was thankful for their intervention.

  "You know me, I needed my fix." Xavier scowled at the interruption—even though nothing was happening—and started playing with his lighter, the metal lid flicking open and closed again.

  "It's a bad habit. You keep going like that, you won't be on stage for much longer." Jasper kicked aside the still-smoking cigarette butt.

  "Yeah, okay, mom." Xavier made a face at him as he leaned against the brick wall.

  I half-expected Jasper to ask what was wrong, given the tension in the air. But he said nothing. I was a little thankful.

  "Your manager's still inside waiting for you. I wanted to see if you guys wanted to share a few drinks with us before we ended the night." Landon gestured back toward the bar, waving away the faint traces of smoke with his other hand.

  "That sounds great. See you guys inside." I latched onto the invitation and was the first one back in the bar. I wanted to get away from the awkwardness that had settled between me and Xavier, and another healthy dose of alcohol would help that.

  By the time I got inside, however, Madeline was gone. Confused, I pulled out my phone to give her a call, only to find a text message waiting for me.

  >>Have a long day tomorrow, heading home

  >>Good luck ;)

  I hadn't heard the beep from my phone during my conversation with Xavier...and now I was left alone with them. I had no one to serve as the buffer between me and them, and I wasn't sure I could keep myself under control. I was going to have to, for my sake.

  "It looks like Maddy won't be joining us." I tried to sound a little disappointed, but I caught a note of appreciation on Xavier's face. Without another human around, our conversation could be more open. Frank. That was one good thing to take away from all this, I supposed.

  "So. What made you guys choose singing of all things?" I asked, wanting to get away from Xavier's imposing and lustful stare. They took a seat at the bar and left one open for me, right in the middle of them. Being surrounded by their scents was intoxicating.

  I ordered a martini for myself; they ordered beers.

  "It's the easiest way to hide in plain sight. We also have more freedom to move around and tour if we feel like we need to get out of here. Why'd you pick the stage?"

  "Same, I guess. It was the easier thing I could do to make money. And if I need to go into hiding, no one's really going to question a singer going on vacation. It seemed like the easiest choice." I hadn't really thought about it until now, why I had chosen my current profession. It just seemed like a natural progression from hearing my friends' encouragement. I didn't have to fill out any resumes or conduct any interviews. All I had to do was prove that I could sing, and the rest took care of itself.

  "Not to mention you look smoking hot in a dress. I've seen the pics." Xavier ran his tongue over his teeth and blew the foamy head off his beer. It fell with a splat to the bar top; Jasper quickly placed a thick napkin over it to soak it up.

  "What he is trying to say is that you've got great talent," Landon interjected. He coyly elbowed Xavier in the ribs, which made him sputter his beer.

  "It's fine, I know my figure helped me somewhat in getting my job. It's not anything for me to be ashamed about." I had heard all the compliments and insults before. I couldn't help my curves and I wasn't about to change them. So what if they helped me get my foot in the door? I still had the talent to boast and no one could take that away from me.

  "The only shame here is that I haven't gotten my hands down your blouse yet."

  Xavier grunted violently as Jasper fisted the front of his shirt. He just about had him off the stool, quite a feat given their height difference.

  "Go wait in the bus, Xavier," he said through gritted teeth. His back was to me, but I could tell this was no game.

  "Cool it. I was just having–"

  "I said, go wait in the bus. I'm not going to say it a third time."

  Xavier wrenched Jasper's fist from his shirt and shoved him aside. He was fuming, and I could feel the heat radiating from him as he passed. He didn't even look in my direction and was gone backstage before I could say anything to save the situation.

  "They are always like this," Landon whispered quietly into my ear, hopefully out of earshot of his bandmate. "Don't think too much of it."

  Except it was hard not to. The peaceful evening was slowly deteriorating and there was nothing I could do about it except be a fly on the wall. I didn't have the place to break them up, nor would I know how.

  Then we heard the backstage door slam.

  "I'm going to go check up on him." Landon offered, leaving me alone with Jasper.

  He stared toward the stage for a long time before sitting back down. If his anger was gone, I couldn't tell. His expression remained placid the entire time.

  "What were we talking about?" he finally asked, nursing the rest of his beer. I'm not sure I wanted to go back to that topic of conversation.

  "You mind me asking what you guys did before coming here?"

  Jasper regarded his bottle for a second before putting it down again. He seemed to be debating with himself, considering how much he should really tell me or
if he should even disclose any of it at all.

  "We used to fight in the war," he said, his voice low and stern. "The three of us were a part of an elite group that did recon missions for our pack, finding some way to get an upper hand over them."

  I didn't have to ask who "they" were; the war was older than any of us, older than the eldest in our packs. No one knew why it had originally started and no one cared to ask. It had become the roles we had fallen into and could find no way out of, even here in the city, away from the wilderness and forests. The bear shifters could hide in plain sight just like us. The rules of their sloths were more lax—they could breed whenever and with whoever they wanted without the risk of endangering each other—but some still chose to leave to live out here in civilization. The convenience of supplies in overwhelming amounts was definitely a temptation for such a gluttonous group.

  "That forced us to lead lonely lives. We couldn't tell anyone what we knew except for our superiors. Not the best life if you are looking for a mate." Jasper took another sip of his beer and looked like he was lost in deep thought. There was a sadness behind his eyes too, possibly the longing for another to share his life with. As stern as he seemed, my first impressions of him told me he would make a pretty decent father.

  "You didn't have a love interest growing up?" I decided to poke a little further to see what he was willing to share with me.

  "When I was maybe fifteen. There was this girl, beautiful amber eyes, a smile that made my heart dance every time I saw her. But I never got the chance to tell her how I felt. As soon as I turned sixteen, the pack decided they had other plans for me."

  I frowned at the thought of being denied something so pure. The time I had spent with my ex had been short, but at least I’d had that moment. Jasper, and probably the others, had been denied the experience of it all.

  I pondered on whether that was the reason for his current demeanor. He had become so jaded that the only joy he found was focusing on his work. Or if working on this special squad of his had rewired his young brain at the time to not take anything for granted. Knowing what I knew now, I felt a little guilty for judging him earlier on his anger and placing him into a certain box that deemed him undesirable. The upside, however, was that he hadn't been made aware of my first impressions of him, which left room for us to work on developing whatever kind of relationship he was interested in having.