Kian (War Cats Book 5)

by Grace Brennan

  She wanted to be with him more than anything she’d ever wanted before.

  No, not wanted.

  Needed.

  Heart, soul… tiger. He was more important than her craziness, so she threw caution to the wind.

  That was partially the truth. The honest other half was that she’d chickened out, plain and simple. The last thing she wanted was to see the disappointment in his eyes. The accusation. The crushed soul when he realized the fates, and his tiger, paired him permanently with a shifter who had a major flaw. Something even worse than submissiveness.

  And since she decided it didn’t matter, that maybe he was her cure—why not say screw it and follow her heart?

  She thought she was okay with her decision, but the guilt persisted. She could only hope it would eventually fade.

  Kian pulled away, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth before biting gently and letting go. Desire shot through her body, raising the hair on her arms, as he leaned his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily.

  “What’s wrong, Jess? You’re a million miles away. I’m trying not to be insulted that you can be so distracted while I kiss you, but I’m having trouble not taking it personally.”

  He said it with a half-smile, his eyes mostly playful—but there was a question lurking in the back with a hint of vulnerability that tugged on her soul.

  “I’m sorry. I was feeling it, I really was. I just got stuck in my head for a moment.”

  “That’s understandable. You had a lot of concerns, a lot of reasons why you thought we couldn’t do this. Just because I addressed all of them doesn’t mean they magically went away. I get it.”

  She searched his eyes, her heart warming at his words. She thought some men would get really upset by her preoccupation, but he understood. He might deserve more than her, but she really had hit the jackpot when it came to mates.

  “Let’s try this again.”

  He smiled gently, his hand moving from her cheek to tangle in her hair. He lowered his head, and as he did, she blanked her mind of all thoughts. From then on, she’d do nothing but feel.

  As his lips touched hers, her last thought was that it wasn’t going to be hard at all to do nothing but feel with this man. He kissed her gently at first, his lips soft against hers, slowly amping up the tension and heat. Moaning as it became more intense, she went up on tiptoe to make it easier for them both, her hands rubbing along the short hair on the back of his head before moving up and tangling in the long strands at the top.

  Kian’s long arms wrapped around her waist and tugged her in until their bodies were pressed deliciously against each other, and she gasped at the lightning that shot along her nerve endings from the touch. They were fully clothed, but it still affected her more than she’d thought possible.

  He took advantage of her parted lips and slipped his tongue inside her mouth, not bothering to ask for permission like he did yesterday. They both knew it wasn’t needed. She was ready, waiting for him to consume her like he’d done yesterday.

  Like she’d consumed him.

  She’d turned aggressor on him last night, but she had no desire to do that tonight. Tonight, she was content to let him take the lead. Hopefully, all night long.

  He sucked on her tongue as one of his hands slid from her back to her front. She felt a little self-conscious at first. She was curvy, and her belly wasn’t exactly flat. And Kian was six feet four inches of toned gorgeousness. He could get any woman he wanted. He could have a supermodel, and she was nowhere close to that level.

  But all her insecurities fled when he growled deep in his throat, his pleasure with her form obvious. Pulling back, she nipped at his full bottom lip, unable to help herself. As soon as there was space between their bodies, he moved his hand higher, inching slowly toward her breast.

  Her breath caught but she nearly groaned when he paused to kiss her again. He’d talked about how she’d been killing him slowly, and it seemed like he was looking to do the same to her. He licked into her mouth for long moments before finally, finally, sliding his hand higher.

  It closed over her breast and she felt faint as her knees weakened. She was wearing a shirt and a bra, yet the sensations were incredibly strong. She couldn’t imagine how it would feel once they were skin to skin.

  And she couldn’t freakin’ wait to find out.

  Her back arched, pushing herself more firmly into his touch, with no conscious thought from her. She just had to get closer to him. That was all she could think about.

  And then he squeezed, gently at first and then with more force, and she couldn’t think at all. She moaned and felt him smile against her lips as his thumb found her hard nipple, brushing back and forth against it as he intensified their kiss even more. He took it between his fingers and squeezed, tugging gently through her clothes.

  Her knees weakened further, and her pelvis pushed into his for support, hoping it would help hold her up. But she found more than that when she leaned into him. He was incredibly hard, and it pressed into her stomach, turning her blood into molten lava.

  She’d never done this before, so it wasn’t like she was so turned on by the thought of what was coming. That made her a little nervous, to be honest. But the thought that he wanted her so much, that his desire was so evident—that was a huge turn on. To be wanted by a man like Kian—a man she loved more than life itself—was enough to send her body up in flames.

  And her body was definitely burning. She was surprised she wasn’t a pile of ash on the floor at that point, honestly.

  His mouth left hers and he slid his lips across her jaw to her ear as his fingers played with her nipple. Ever so slowly, he eased his mouth down her neck, stopping to nip or suck gently at her skin. At the same time, his hand left her breast, moving to the hem of her shirt and stealing underneath. She sucked in a breath as his big, warm hand touched the skin on her stomach, her body tingling as he kept going, reaching her bra and tracing the sensitive skin along the scalloped edge before tugging it down, letting it rest underneath her breast.

  Her breath caught as he cupped her breast again, finally skin to skin, but it didn’t last as he pulled his hand from her shirt. She groaned in frustration, but he just gave her a wink and a smile as he pulled back. Reaching down, he grasped the hem of her shirt and tugged it upward. Thinking of nothing more than feeling him more fully, she raised her arms, only remembering to feel shy once her shirt was lying discarded on the floor.

  But Kian didn’t give her a chance to feel shy for long. He sucked in a breath as he took her in, her large—too large in her opinion—breasts pushed up in her light blue lacy bra. He started to pull down the cup of the covered breast but then he shook his head and stopped. Instead, he reached behind her and unhooked her bra, bringing his fingers up to her straps and pulling them down slowly, leaving trails of fire in their wake as they slid against her skin.

  Once it had joined her shirt on the floor, the shy part of her had an almost overwhelming urge to cover her chest with her hands, to hide herself from his view. It was the look in his eyes that stopped her. The awe, the heat, the desire. It was clear that he liked what he saw, and that was everything.

  And it was what gave her the courage needed to grab his hand and begin walking backwards, tugging him to her bedroom. She was doing this, and she’d be damned if she let anything stop her, especially her own insecurities.

  His eyebrows rose but a slow smile crept across his lips as he followed her into her bedroom. They stopped by her bed and she immediately reached for the hem of his shirt, tugging up. She wasn’t tall enough to take it off of him easily, but he quickly took over, pulling it off and dropping it to the floor.

  Her breath left her body with a whoosh as she drank him in. His skin was a darker caramel, his chest muscular, his abs flexing deliciously with his slightly labored breathing. He had three tattoos that she could see—one on his pec, another on his bicep, and on the other arm, another on the inside of his bicep. He was even more gorg
eous than she’d dreamed he’d be, and she’d thought of him like this many times. Her breath was just coming back when he reached down and popped the button on his jeans. He didn’t unzip them, but just that action was enough to make her lose her breath again.

  Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her and yanked her to him, then pressed his lips to hers. The press of his naked skin to hers was enough set her on fire again, a wave of heat washing over her.

  He pulled back and bent down, sucking one of her nipples into his mouth. She gasped then moaned, her fingers clutching at his shoulders, as he licked and nibbled. His hand kneaded her other breast as he sucked on her nipple, and then he switched sides, his fingers plucking at her wet nipple as his mouth suckled the other one.

  Then his hand left her breast, easing down into the waistband of the leggings she was wearing. She tensed and he made a shushing sound around the nipple in his mouth, and she gasped at the feel of it, vibrating her skin.

  His hand eased into her panties and he skimmed his finger along her slit, and she could tell from that just how wet she already was. His finger slipped inside as he groaned in approval, and he immediately zeroed in on her swollen clit.

  She’d thought she knew how it would feel. She might not have done this with anyone else, but she wasn’t a prude. She’d touched herself before, many times. Mostly while she thought of Kian. But nothing could have prepared her for how powerful his touch was, sending lightning zipping through her veins.

  Letting her nipple slip from her mouth, Kian lunged upward and took her mouth again. She barely had the presence of mind to kiss him back, every fiber of her being focused on what his fingers were doing.

  His fingers circled her nub, going slowly at first, and then gathering speed. She moaned as he finally passed a finger directly on top, and his mouth left hers, making its way to her neck again. His mouth played along the skin of her neck as his fingers sped up, moving more forcefully with every pass.

  It didn’t take long before she was shaking in his arms, on the verge of an orgasm she knew was going to be powerful. That she knew was going to wreck her, body and soul.

  He pressed firmly, rubbing fast circles directly over her clit, at the same time that he bit down gently on the skin between her neck and shoulder, and that was it. She was flying, soaring so high she didn’t think she’d ever land. And just when she’d start to fall back to Earth, he’d kick her orgasm back in again, and she’d fly back up into the sky.

  By the time he finally let her come back down, her legs were shaking, and if he hadn’t been supporting her, she wouldn’t have been able to remain standing. If that hadn’t happened to her, she never would have believed it was possible. It felt like her whole body shattered apart, and she had to look down at herself to make sure she was still in one piece.

  She looked up at him, shaking her head, not sure she could put into words what she felt. “That was… It was… I mean…”

  Smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners, he leaned down and kissed her softly. “I’m guessing that means you enjoyed it.”

  “I did,” she confirmed softly, searching his dark brown gaze. His eyes were strained, still full of heat, and it hit her that while she was weak with satisfaction, he was still full of need.

  Taking a deep breath, she willed strength back into her legs and backed up. Hooking her thumbs into the waistband of her leggings, she pulled them and her panties down to her ankles and stepped out of them. It took her a moment to raise her eyes, the shyness nearly crippling her. But when she finally managed it, the desire in his gaze was enough to burn her, her core clenching as fresh fire ignited inside her.

  Curling her lips up slightly, she eased down onto the bed, scooting back to the top, and crooked her finger at him, inviting him to join her. He sucked in a breath as he watched her, then he grasped his zipper and eased it down, his breath hissing back out as he tried to lower it past the impressive length of his hardness.

  Once he was finished, he began shoving his jeans down, and she got her first surprise. The alpha of the War Cats went commando. The second, once he’d kicked his jeans off and straightened up, giving her an unobstructed view, was that he was even more impressive than he looked when he was still hidden behind his jeans.

  Desire washed over her, but she still found herself nervously clenching her thighs together. She couldn’t help it. Kian was a big man, and she’d known he’d probably be big all over, but she hadn’t expected him to be that big.

  He gave her a warm, reassuring smile as he climbed onto the bed with her, settling over her but holding himself up on his arms. He leaned in and kissed her nose before speaking.

  “I don’t want to make assumptions, but I think I know you well enough to guess that you’re a virgin. Am I right?” He waited for her shy nod before continuing. “Baby, I promise I’ll take care of you. I can’t promise the first time won’t hurt, but I’ll be as gentle as I possibly can. I will never do anything to hurt you, Jess. You have my word on that.”

  As the look in his eyes and the conviction in his voice washed over her, she was surprised she didn’t melt right into the mattress. He didn’t have to say it. He didn’t have to take the time to reassure her and try to ease her fears. He needed release, she could see that, but he was still thinking about her first. That meant the world to her.

  Leaning up, she kissed his lips, his goatee scratching gently against her face. “I know it might hurt. And I also know that you wouldn’t hurt me intentionally. I know you’d do your very best to spare me hurt. Just like I would you. But thank you for taking the time to try to ease my fears. It means so much to me.”

  Warmth flooded his eyes and he kissed her, starting gently and then intensifying it as he eased down, putting a fraction of his weight on top of her. His hips settled into the cradle of her thighs, and she gasped as his hardness brushed against her core.

  He nipped her bottom lip as he slipped a hand between them, grasping himself and rubbing himself against her center. She gasped as he coated himself in her wetness, the head bumping against her clit. He made a few more passes before lining himself up with her entrance.

  Glancing up, he locked eyes with her, and she fancied that everything he was feeling was shining into her soul with that look. Affection, desire, tenderness—maybe even love—were right there in his eyes, and she was drowning in his emotions.

  And then he began easing inside her and her breath caught, all thoughts of emotions fleeing her mind. He pushed forward a bit and then paused, letting her get used to his size, and he repeated that until he came to the barrier of her virginity.

  And then with a hard thrust of his hips, he pushed passed it, seating himself inside her in one go. She sucked in a breath, pain streaking through her, but it quickly dulled, only stinging a little. But even that was fading as she adjusted to the feel of him inside her fully. She felt full to bursting, and it wasn’t an entirely comfortable feeling, but it was still pleasant.

  It was a contradiction she never would have understood if someone explained it to her, but it was the truth. Then he kissed her softly and began moving, slowly at first, gaining speed with every thrust. It felt like she could feel every bit of him, every vein, every ridge, and her nerve endings were lit up with more pleasure than she could bear.

  But the pleasure she was feeling was just the beginning. Soon, he was rocking into her hard, his expression telling her he was enjoying this as much as she was. His hips were slapping into hers, the sound seeming as loud as a gunshot to her, and she reveled in it.

  Another orgasm was building, her core tightening almost painfully. She wanted to let go again, wanted to soar, knowing he’d be there to catch her, but she just couldn’t get there. It didn’t matter, though. She’d had her pleasure once already. She didn’t need to again. It was Kian’s turn now.

  Then he reared back on his knees, lifting her hips and changing the angle of his thrusts, and holy cow. That was amazing, and intense, and almost more than she could bear. He incr
eased the speed of his thrusts until his hips were pistoning into her, and placed his thumb against her clit, rubbing lightly before pressing down.

  And that was it. She exploded, even harder than she did before, stars dancing in her vision. She felt like she was going to pass out as the pleasure overwhelmed her, her back arching and her hips undulating.

  Bite him. Now. Claim our mate, her tiger urged.

  Crapola. No. Even though she’d nearly lost herself in the pleasure, she still retained just enough presence of mind to resist raking her claw into his shoulder. Wait—claw? What the hell? Tiger’s claimed with a bite.

  She was still convulsing with pleasure, but there was a part of her mind panicking. But before she had a chance to analyze the urge and thought, Kian cursed, his body stiffening as he thrust inside her and held himself still, pleasure contorted his features. She could feel him pulsing as his warmth coated her insides, and despite the worry trying to crowd her mind, she felt his orgasm trigger hers again.

  By the time she finally floated back down, they were both breathing heavily and his forehead was pressed to hers. He pressed a breathless kiss to her mouth, easing out of her before dropping down beside her.

  And as he pulled her into his arms and snuggled her close, she couldn’t help feeling like she wasn’t the same and everything just changed.

  Kian held Jessica close, feeling like his whole world view just changed. That had been the single most amazing experience of his life. So much more than he’d been expecting. More than he’d even though possible. Hell, he’d almost blacked out when he came, his orgasm hitting him so hard that he couldn’t even breathe.

  Just touching her was an experience like no other. Actually making love to her, being inside her—it was on a whole other level.

  Should have bitten her. Claimed her. Shouldn’t have fought me on it, his tiger said, disgruntled.