But he wasn’t going to let it overcome him. He had to find out what happened, and to make sure Jessica really was okay.
“Kian? Oh my God, you’re awake!”
His eyes snapped open and he watched, his vision more focused, as Jessica rushed to his side. She looked perfectly healthy, and the relief he felt weakened his already weak arms. They tried to give out, but he locked his muscles, determined to stay at least partially upright.
“Why are you trying to sit up? You should be laying down,” she stated, her voice dripping concern as she fluttered around him.
“Want to sit up,” he croaked out, wincing at his dry throat. “Water?”
“Shoot, I should have thought of that immediately. Hold on, I’ll get the glass on the bedside table.”
“Here, let me help you sit up,” Zane said quietly, moving to help him. Kian hadn’t even realized he was in the room, he was so focused on his mate. That must have been who she was talking to when Kian heard her voice.
Having to accept help just to sit up was galling, but he’d be the first to admit he needed it. Once he was propped up on the mound of pillows sitting against the headboard, Jessica handed him a glass of water. He started to chug it, but she shook her head.
“Sip it. Slowly. You might get sick if you drink too much, too fast.”
Nodding, he took a sip, his mouth so parched that it felt like it just soaked it up and none got to the back of his throat. He kept sipping at it until his mouth felt less dry, and he wanted more, but he stopped, not wanting to risk it.
“So,” he said, relieved when his voice came out hoarse but understandable, with no pain. “What happened?”
Zane and Jessica exchanged a glance, and she looked back at him, her brow furrowed. “You don’t remember?”
“I remember being in your room and talking about being mates, then going to the—” Stopping himself just in time, he shot a look at Zane while he cleared his throat. “Well. Then we sat down to eat dinner.”
“And that’s it?” Zane asked, his voice serious.
Frowning, he nodded his head, then stopped as he remembered more. “We started to eat. I ate a meatball and said it tasted funny. Jess told me to spit it out, and my throat was on fire and my tongue didn’t want to work. I got some of it out, but I swallowed the rest.” He went quiet for a moment, looking down as he went over it again in his head before looking back up. “Poison?”
Zane nodded. “In the meatballs. You probably would have died, but Jessica called for help and then stuck her finger down your throat to make you throw up the rest. She saved your life.”
Heart warming, he looked up at Jess, who was blushing, her cheeks adorably pink. “You saved my life? There’s so much I want to say to that, but I’ll settle for thank you.”
She waved her hand, and he could see in her eyes that she was going to ignore what she’d done. It was typical Jess—not able to accept praise or compliments, even when what she’d done was huge. Who would think to put their fingers in someone’s mouth to make them throw up the poison? He didn’t think he would have.
Our mate is amazing, his tiger whispered.
Yes, she is, Kian replied, relieved that his cat was getting a little stronger inside him.
“Did you order spaghetti for us, Kian?” Jessica asked softly, bringing his attention back to the present.
Frowning, he shook his head. “No. Dinner was close to over when I called down to the kitchens because you weren’t in the dining room. Isla answered, and I told her I needed a tray. When I went to pick it up, she said you’d ordered one, as well, and we’d both gotten the same thing. I wondered over the choice, but I thought you’d requested it.”
Zane glanced from him to Jessica. “That basically confirms what the note said.”
“Explain,” Kian growled shortly, getting annoyed at being the only one who apparently didn’t know what the hell was going on.
Zane cut him a look that clearly told him that shit didn’t fly with him, but he began explaining. “You two were the only ones who received the spaghetti and infamous meatballs. The poison was in the meatballs only, by the way. Pari didn’t have anything to do it. The order was written down by Isla, and she was the one who prepared the meatballs.”
“So it was Isla? Targeting Jessica?”
“Actually, you were the target. This was the note we found in Isla’s room. She’s gone, by the way. She apparently fled as soon as you two were served the food. Vynn’s out looking for her, but he hasn’t checked in yet.”
Kian reached out and grasped the note, praying the other two didn’t see his hand trembling with weakness. He couldn’t abide being anything less than the strong alpha they knew him to be.
My orders were to poison the alpha. The Drako isn’t pleased with his continued interference in the plan to take Alessa. She wasn’t supposed to receive any of it—but Pari dished up both plates, and I had no reason to give to stop her. If Kian dies, that is according to plan. But if Alessa dies—that I’m sorry for. I must disappear now, from the War Cats and from the Drako, because my life will be forfeit either way.
But let this serve as a lesson. Do not come between the Drako and what is wanted. You will die. This isn’t over yet. The Drako also hopes Kian enjoyed the classic Italian dish—perfect for our Alessa’s heritage.
Disturbed, Kian folded the note and looked at Jessica, immediately seeing the tears in her eyes. “No, Jess. Baby, this isn’t your fault. I can see you blaming yourself, but you have to know that. You’re just as much a victim as I am. Don’t you understand that?”
She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. “It is my fault. If I weren’t here, this wouldn’t be happening.”
Summoning all his strength, he opened his arms to her. She sat down on the bed next to him, gingerly laying her head on his chest, and he stroked her long hair. “You didn’t ask for this, so it’s not your fault. And you saved my life. I’m still here because of you. I know you want to discount that, but there’s no way you can. And we’ll stop Drako, baby. I promise you that.”
She didn’t reply, just snuggled in closer, and he held her until her body stopped shuddering. They were going to have to have a talk once Zane was gone, because he knew, deep in his gut, that she wanted to leave Durga again. And there was no way he could let her. Zane cleared his throat, reminding him he was still there, and Kian glanced up at him.
“Alessa… I’m assuming that’s Jessica,” Zane said quietly, an eyebrow cocked.
“It is. But that’s Jessica’s story, and I’m not sure she wants it told.”
She shook her head, pulling back as she wiped her tear stained cheeks. “I’m not sure if it should be common knowledge, but I don’t mind if Zane knows. Maybe all of the ones closest to you should know. It’s not much to go on, but the better informed everyone is, the better we can figure this out. Maybe Luke and Noah, as well.”
He nodded, feeling proud of her decision. Jessica, along with being submissive and shy, was also a private person. Even as a kid, she hadn’t wanted to speak of herself or her feelings. Maybe that had something to do with her upbringing, he didn’t know. It had just always been that way.
He rubbed her back, pausing for a second when she sighed with what sounded like relief and leaned into his touch. He realized he was touching where her tattoo was. Something else that was a mystery. Why she had a tattoo she never remembered getting—one she undoubtedly received when she was a child. And why it itched like a new tat, when it was more than sixteen years old.
A thought occurred to him, and he wondered if it was connected to whatever Drako wanted her for. The tat meant something. DB stood for something. His gut was screaming that he was on track, but he still had no way of tying it all together. Yet. He would eventually.
He just hoped he did it in time.
When Jessica didn’t explain, he glanced up at Zane, who was waiting impatiently for someone to tell him what was going on. As quickly and thoroughly as he could, he repeated wh
at she’d told him about her newly recovered memory while she buried her face in his chest again. When he’d finished, Zane looked stunned, his gaze shooting between him and Jess.
Shaking his head, Zane whistled low. “That’s some crazy shit. I’m sorry that happened to you, Jessica. Mad respect from me. You’re so quiet, and I know sometimes you shake when you have to speak, but everyone underestimates you. You’re strong as fuck on the inside. There are so many badass women in this tribe, and now I know you’ve belonged with them this whole time. I’m proud to say I know you.”
She froze against him, not even breathing, before she raised her head and stared at Zane with shock in her chocolate brown eyes. “You… you mean that?”
Zane’s brow furrowed as he looked back at her. “Of course I do. You’ve known me long enough to know I never say anything I don’t mean.”
“But—you don’t think I’m inferior because I’m Italian, not Indian?”
Realization dawned in his eyes, and he stared at her sadly. “No. Not at all. I’m ashamed to admit that a few years ago, before your mate dragged me off to Eagle Creek, before I met Kelly, I would have believed that. But I know better now. Your worth isn’t based on your ancestors. It’s based on you. And you’re one of the worthiest people I’ve met, Jess.”
Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and it was clear she was speechless. A slow smile curled Kian’s lips as he looked at Zane. He was fucking proud as hell of him. He’d come such a long way from the surly, belligerent, crazy dickhead he’d been before. And Kian was totally taking partial credit for that.
He’d taken them to Eagle Creek to find the Rocky River fighters. Ian was the father of a young former War Cat, Shelby, that Kian had taken an interest in. He’d protected her when he came home and saw how she was treated, and fought his father to get her with Ian. He’d wanted to go check on her, make sure Ian was treating her right. He found out later that Ian was his half-brother and Shelby was his niece, but he hadn’t known that when he went, or when he decided he and Zane were going to stay there for a while.
It was obvious, fairly quickly, that there was no better place for Shelby than with her father and the other fighters. They all loved her, took good care of her, and they’d lay down their lives for her. That was all he’d needed to know.
But what he’d seen, what intrigued him, was a group of shifters from different walks of life, with different animals, who had made a makeshift family. Their bond was rock solid, while the War Cats’ bond was brittle and fragile, and many of them were blood, and they were all the same animal.
That was what he wanted the War Cats to be. He wanted them to have what the fighters had. If he were honest, he never wanted to inherit this tribe. He’d hated Durga Valley from the moment he was old enough to understand how corrupt and horrible it was, how vile the leaders were, and his father was at the top of that list. He ran under the guise of traveling for years, first going to India when he was sixteen, and then traveling the globe after that. He dragged Zane with him, and his father allowed it because the prince was never supposed to be alone.
It didn’t seem to matter to his father that the one he was letting guard Kian’s back was second in line to be Alpha. Zane was Kabir’s nephew, but Kabir hadn’t cared, because he wasn’t a full-blooded Indian. Just another example of the tribe’s fucked up thinking. Zane was royalty, and should have been revered just for that, based on tradition. Instead, they didn’t much care what happened to him because he had mixed blood.
Regardless, although Kian and Zane were raised together, Kian had never bought into the beliefs of the tribe. But Zane had. He believed it all. Kian hoped that by taking him different places and showing him examples of how normal people lived, Zane would see the light and change his thinking. Because Kian knew no matter what his true feelings were, he had to accept the alpha position when he inherited it. He might not have wanted the position, but the tribe was in his soul. And if he didn’t, who knew what would happen, and his people had a right to find happiness. And he knew he had to be the one to give that right to them.
He couldn’t do it without Zane, though. He knew that as sure as he knew the sky was blue.
So he took Zane everywhere, hoping he’d finally get it, but he never did. Then they were in Eagle Creek, and the perfect example was right in front of them. And that was when Kian made the decision to stay there. For a year, they lived in Eagle Creek, interacting with the fighters regularly, participating on fight nights. But Zane remained unchanged, and pissed off everyone he came into contact with. Kian sometimes thought the only reason the fighters hadn’t gone after Zane was because they liked Kian.
Until everyone—including, for a moment, Kian, something he was still ashamed of—believed Zane was trying to kill Kian. It wasn’t him of course, but that second long smidge of belief dug a huge chasm between them, and they didn’t speak for months. Until Zane met Kelly, and Kabir died. Kian called Zane home then, and when he came, he was already, finally, beginning to see the light.
Kelly probably had more to do with saving Zane from the destructive person he was turning into than Kian did, honestly. But he was still taking a little of the credit. If nothing else, he put Zane in Eagle Creek where Kelly lived and gave them the opportunity to find each other.
And look at him now. Speaking to someone who wasn’t a true Indian kindly. Complimenting her. Lifting her up. He even said some of the same things Kian told her. It wasn’t a complete one-eighty. Zane was still a crazy motherfucker, and only idiots were stupid enough to cross him. But he held compassion and kindness inside him now, and those were traits he’d never possessed before.
Zane glanced over at Kian and scowled. “What the hell are you looking at me like that for?”
Kian shook his head with a grin. “Just thinking about how far you’ve come and how proud I am of you. You’ve done good, grasshopper.”
“Fuck you, asshole,” Zane muttered, his scowl darkening more. “On that note, I’m out of here. I’ll let Jessica take it from here. I’ll go let Karis and Jameson in on what you’ve told me, and show them the note we found earlier, if you don’t mind.”
Kian handed the note over to Zane, but his cousin kept his eyes on Jess, seeking solid permission to tell her story. She nodded to him as she pulled away from Kian to sit up.
“That’s fine. Thanks, Zane. I appreciate everything. Your words to me, and telling the others so I don’t have to.”
“It’s all good, Jess. Kian, I’ll keep you informed.” Zane shifted his feet, looking uncomfortable before meeting Kian’s eyes, the emotion in Zane’s green gaze clear and strong. “I’m glad you pulled through, cousin. And not just because I sure as fuck don’t want to be Alpha. Because—well, just because.”
Kian nodded at him, understanding what Zane was trying to say. He watched as he left the bedroom and then listened for the door of the suite to close. As soon as it did, he turned to Jessica and met her eyes.
“You’re not running, do you understand? You will not leave here. This might piss you off, but that’s a direct order from your Alpha. Do. Not. Leave.”
Chapter Ten
Jessica stared at Kian as his words echoed around the room. He’d sounded so commanding and authoritative, like a true Alpha. She rarely heard him sound like that, and conflicting emotions were bombarding her, freezing her in place.
The submissive in her wanted to literally bow down to him. She wanted to pledge her fealty to him again—she already had once when he became the alpha—and assure him she’d never go against his wishes. And she’d say that while she was still on her knees, her head bowed with her eyes on his feet.
Another part of her, the strange, new part that scared her, was pissed as hell that he thought he could order her around, Alpha or not. She was her own woman, she made her own rules, and absolutely no one else could tell her how to live her life. And the more those thoughts crystalized, the more her tattoo itched, and the burn was more like fire now, the tail flicking furiously
. As mad as that part of her was at Kian, she wanted to beg him to rub her back again, because that was the only thing that seemed to soothe it.
And then there was the part of her that was eating up the dominance he was displaying. It was practically pouring from his pores, and she wanted to soak it all up, roll in it, bask in it. It was hot as Hades, and it turned her on instantly. She had to clench her thighs together in an attempt to ease the ache, but it didn’t help at all.
Lord, she was losing her mind. So many different emotions hitting her at once, and they were all conflicting. She didn’t know how to deal with them, at all. Feeling submissive, yet wanting to kick his ass at the same time—feeling them left her torn as to how to react to him, because both were so strong inside her.
The only one that wasn’t straight jacket worthy was the last one. Maybe it wasn’t politically correct, and maybe it would have the opposite reaction in some, but it was still all woman. It was a female reacting to the power in a man and feeling it weaken her knees. It was a shifter reacting to the dominance in her mate, something her kind prized, and feeling it dampen her panties. It was a woman wanting to jump her man’s bones as forcefully as his words were spoken.
Whew. It felt like the temperature in the room shot up twenty degrees, but she knew that was just her reacting to him.
To Kian.
Her Alpha.
Her lover.
Her mate.
“Jessica? You’re way too quiet. I’m sorry if that pissed you off. I’m sorry if you don’t agree. But I need you to stay here, and I need you to acknowledge it. I need your word that you’ll give me a chance to solve this and make you safe. Make all of us safe. I need the promise.”
She gazed at him, still feeling the dominance rolling off him in waves, but glimpsing the hint of vulnerability in his dark brown eyes. He really did need this, and even the part in her that protested being told what to do melted a little inside. She wanted to give him her promise. She wanted to hive him herself. Whatever he wanted, he could have it.
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