Tears filled her eyes, because that strange voice, telling her she wasn’t crazy, just confirmed more than anything before that she truly was.
Kian raised his hands slowly, like he was trying not to spook her. Probably a good move on his part. It wasn’t wise to agitate the insane. The look in his dark brown eyes was confused, and his brow was furrowed as he studied her.
“Jess, baby. I don’t understand. What’s going on? Take a deep breath and talk to me.”
Just then realizing she was panting so hard she was in danger of passing out, she took his advice and inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. She focused on her breathing for a few moments, willing the tears in her eyes away, and when she felt a bit calmer, she looked at him sadly.
“I think I’m going crazy. No, I know I am. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything yesterday. But when you touched me, and the itching and burning of the tattoo went away, I thought that somehow meant you were like an antidote. That I could get better. But I don’t think I can. I think I’m just going to get worse.”
“I still don’t understand what’s going on. Tell me why you think you’re going crazy.”
Exhaling heavily, she sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her feet. “You know I’m submissive. Everyone knows that. But when Ashley left Vynn a few months ago, and I spoke up and told everyone to leave her alone—that’s when things started changing. That wasn’t like me. You know that. You even said something like that. It was around the same time that my tat started itching. As time went on, I kept having these thoughts and emotions that weren’t like me. Just like that first one.
“The more I had them, the more my tat itched. Then it felt like it was moving. One day, when I was feeling something that wasn’t like me, I went to a mirror and watched my tat, and that was when I saw the tail flicking. But I thought I was seeing things at first. Tattoos don’t move. I kept seeing it, feeling it, and that, coupled with the emotions I felt, made me think I was slowly going crazy.”
Pausing for a moment to control her emotions and will the tears back again, she started when she felt Kian put his hand over her tightly clenched fist. He pried her hand open and laced their fingers together, and she clung to him, drawing strength from his touch.
“That day that I fought Vihaan. It was like it wasn’t even me. You know how hard it is for a submissive to speak to people. They can’t fight. I was in animal form when I saw him coming after me, and this voice inside me commanded I let her out. I was already a tiger. And even if I hadn’t been, I know my tiger’s voice, and that wasn’t it. Don’t crazy people hear voices? That had to be what that was. There’s no other explanation.
“Since then, the conflicting emotions have been strong. Part of me cowering, part of me feeling dominant. I’ve been so torn and so confused, and I knew I was losing it. The only time I feel like everything’s okay again is when you touch me. And I thought maybe I could control it with you by my side, but I don’t think I can. I heard the voice again just a few moments ago. I’m afraid that something’s going to happen and I’ll snap and hurt you, or someone else. I think I have to leave. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. I never want to leave. I want to stay and claim you, but I don’t think I have a choice.”
There was absolute silence in the room, and she couldn’t bring herself to raise her eyes to look at him. But he kept her hand in his, and it gave her hope that even though things between them were undoubtedly over, he wasn’t going to let it get ugly before he asked her to leave.
She really should have realized that, though. That wasn’t Kian. He didn’t make scenes and he wasn’t mean or a jerk. She thought maybe her deception called for a scene, but that wasn’t who he was.
“Jessica, look at me,” he said quietly. He squeezed her hand and didn’t continue until she reluctantly locked gazed with her. “If you thought that was going to run me off, or make me change my mind about you, you don’t know me very well.”
She felt her eyes widen as she looked at him. “What?”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you or what you’re experiencing. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not anything I’ve ever heard of before. But I don’t think you’re going crazy, sweetheart. You don’t smell bitter at all. Not one hint of bitterness. And if you were going crazy and it was getting worse, I’d smell it. I don’t. You just smell like you.
“But let me be very clear about something. Even if you were going crazy, I wouldn’t turn you out. I wouldn’t just walk away from you. It’s too late. I love you, Jessica. I always have, really, but now I love you the way a man loves a woman. The way a shifter loves his mate. There’s no turning back from that, and I don’t want to. I wouldn’t even if you really were crazy. You can’t shake me that easily. And if your fears were valid, I’d still stand by your side, doing everything I could to help you.”
Her tiger nearly swooned inside her as tears spilled down her cheeks. She drew in a hitching breath as he reached up and gently wiped the tears away. His words of love echoed the ones she thought when she realized she loved him, and as much as she wanted to protest, she couldn’t. Because if the tables were turned, she wouldn’t be able to turn him away, either.
“Oh, God, Kian. I love you, too. So much. That’s why it would literally kill me if I hurt you in any way. I couldn’t bear it.”
He smiled gently at her, his chocolate brown eyes full of the love he was professing. “The only way you could hurt me was if you left me, baby. I don’t believe, even if you were truly going crazy, that you could hurt me. You’re a shifter, and shifters are hardwired to make their mates happy. Not hurt them. We’ll figure this out, and whatever it is, we’ll fix it. I promise.”
Smiling sadly, she shook her head. “How much are you going to take on your shoulders for me? Someone out there wants me badly, for whatever reason, enough to kill you to get me. And you smile and say we’ll figure it out. I tell you that something insane is going on inside me, and you smile and say we’ll figure it out. It feels like it’s never ending, and how much are you supposed to bear for me?”
“As much as it takes. Whatever it takes. I’d take on the world for you, Jess. I’d burn everything and everyone to the ground for you. This might seem like a lot to you, but for me, it’s nothing compared to what I’d do for you.”
Her chin trembled with the need to shed more tears, and before she kissed him, she whispered, “How the hell did I get so lucky?”
They kissed gently, softly, the touch of their lips speaking of their love for each other. When they pulled back, he smiled at her. “I think I’m the lucky one.”
They were quiet for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, and then Kian brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “Can I see your tattoo again?”
Nodding, she swept her almost dry hair over her shoulder and turned so he could see it. She could feel him tracing it gently and her eyes closed at the sweet relief from the itching. “It’s strange, isn’t it?”
“It really is. The way the ink shimmers is something else. Is that…”
He trailed off and she frowned, turning to look at him. “What?”
“I was just trying to figure out what kind of a tail that is, but I can’t figure it out. Do you think it’s all related? The tattoo and this Drako person?”
Brow furrowing, she shrugged as she cocked her head. “I don’t know, but it feels a little too coincidental, doesn’t it? I just have no idea how to link the two. There are too many pieces of info missing.”
Nodding slowly, he reached for his phone on the bedside table, and dialed a number. “Hey, Luke. Can you and Noah come to my suite? Yeah, I’m fine, but we need to talk.”
Eyebrows high, Jessica watched as he stood and held a hand out to her. “Isn’t it a little late for an impromptu meeting?”
He pulled her up with a crooked grin. “It’s only eight, and we’re not geriatrics. Besides, when it comes to your safety, no time is too late. Do you mind if we tell them about your tattoo? I probably should h
ave asked that before I called.”
She shook her head. “I don’t relish the idea of others knowing about my crazy. But like the memory, I don’t mind if it means we get a little closer to solving all of this.”
Leaning in, he gave her a quick, hard kiss. “You’re not crazy. Go put my shirt on and then meet me in the living room.”
Nodding, she watched as he walked to his dresser and pulled out a shirt for himself, quickly pulling it over his head. She really didn’t want to tell anyone else about the tattoo or the weird voice, but like she told Kian, if it helped, she was all for it.
Kian watched as Jessica walked into the living room, unable to hold in her grimace as she looked around. He understood. It wasn’t to his tastes, either, but he hadn’t remodeled it because he wanted a reminder of who his father had been. A reminder of how power could corrupt someone.
Although really, it was more like Kabir was born evil, but either way. He left it as a reminder of who not to be. It was time to finally redecorate, though. He’d never been like his father, so it wasn’t a valid worry. And he wanted Jessica to be comfortable in his suite.
Their suite now. He wasn’t ever letting her go.
A knock came on the door just as Jessica reached him, and he gave her hand a squeeze as he went to let Luke and Noah in. The lion shifter brothers were Enforcers, and he was surprised that they hadn’t already solved the mystery of who Drako was. The Enforcers were the most powerful shifters on the planet, and they usually had a bead on everything that went down in the shifter world.
But not this time, apparently.
He stood back to let them in, watching as their eyes widened minutely when they got a look at Jessica. It annoyed him, but he understood it. She was wearing a pair of sleep shorts that were so short, he could barely tell they were on underneath his huge shirt, and her gorgeous black hair was hanging down in long, loose curls.
Up until the other day, she’d never even worn jeans, and they hadn’t been there for that, so they’d never seen her looking so casual. And she never wore her hair down. This was a completely different side of her. He was happy she was so relaxed about it, and that she finally felt comfortable enough with herself to let it out. But he also wished it was a side of her only he got to see.
That was incredibly selfish of him, though, so he tried to push the thoughts out of his mind.
“Hey, guys. Thanks for coming. I’m assuming you haven’t learned who Drako is, have you?”
“No, although we think we might have a lead—” Noah’s voice abruptly broke off as his head snapped toward Jessica. “Jessica, what’s your shifter gift?”
Brow furrowing, she looked at Noah like he was crazy. “A talent with herbs. Why?”
Noah shook his head. “I just sensed… I don’t know. Kian, what did you need from us? I don’t think it was just to ask what progress we’ve made.”
Kian frowned as he studied Noah. He was clearly thinking hard about something, his eyes a million miles away. Glancing at Luke, Kian noticed that he was studying his brother just as intently.
Kian looked at Jessica and she nodded at him. Turning back to the Enforcers, he told them everything. About the memory she had the other day, and then everything she’d told him about her tattoo. Luke looked mystified but Noah was staring at Jessica with a contemplative frown, his eyes saying he was piecing things together, but that he couldn’t quite believe it.
“Do you mind if I look at it?” Noah asked her softly.
She looked uncomfortable but she nodded, turning around. Kian’s shirt was big enough on her that the neckline hung low, and she tugged it down so they could see. Noah walked closer and sucked in a breath, his hand hovering in the air like he wanted to touch it, but he curled his fingers in a fist and lowered it.
“You’re thinking something, aren’t you? Putting pieces together, figuring shit out,” Luke stated, eyes narrowed as he stared at his brother.
Noah nodded slowly, turning to Kian. “Can I use your laptop?”
“Of course. It’s on the desk.”
They all watched in silence as Noah sat down and powered it on. He typed a few commands in, muttering to himself as he did so. A few moments later, he sat back with a stunned expression on his face.
“Okay, what the hell is it? You’ve clearly figured something out,” Kian bit out through clenched teeth. Jessica moved beside him, taking his hand and stroking his fingers, and he calmed down a fraction as her touched soothed him and his tiger, who’d been pacing furiously in his chest.
“Sorry. I was just trying to gather my thoughts,” Noah said, shaking his head. “When you guys first said Drako, it reminded me of something I’d heard spoken of in hushed tones when I was in the Army. There was another shifter there who insisted it was real, but no one believed him. Not even me. I’ve been doing a little research since then, but I didn’t really even know what I was looking for. Not until I saw Jessica’s mark.”
Luke huffed impatiently. “Get to the point, Noah.”
Noah calmly flipped his brother off before continuing. “There’s a clan of shifters who are different. A few decades ago, it was rumored that they were approached by some humans. But they weren’t the average human. They possessed magic. They wanted to produce a new generation who were virtually unstoppable—a mixture of shifter and wizard. They weren’t successful until this last generation.
“I asked Jessica what her shifter gift was because this time, I sensed something different in her. Before, it was almost like she didn’t have one. I didn’t get a reading. But what I got tonight didn’t make sense, until I learned of the tattoo. Jessica isn’t a normal shifter. She has magic, as well.”
Frowning, Kian looked over at Jessica. Her eyes were wide, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she found her voice. “Are you trying to tell me this clan you were talking about—that I’m one of them? I don’t have any magic. I swear, I don’t. Isn’t that something I’d know? I’m just a regular shifter.”
“Your magic just began manifesting,” Noah told her, his voice gentle. Turning the laptop, he pointed to the image on the screen. “This is your magic. Your tattoo isn’t a tat in the traditional sense. It’s a mark. It’s your magic.”
They all leaned in, and Kian stared at the image. It was the exact same as Jessica’s, and it even had a faint shimmer to it visible in the picture. Underneath, in small print, it said Dragon Blood.
Jessica shook her head, her voice tinged with a hint of panic and impatience when she spoke. “I don’t get it. Dragon blood? What does that even mean? I’m a tiger.”
“Not entirely. If this is the same kind of situation as the few I found when I was researching, your father was a tiger. But your mother was something different. And that’s where the magic comes in. The magic in your blood means you can choose between their forms at will. That’s why you have a Dragon Blood mark. It means you’re half dragon. And that’s your shifter gift, basically. The ability to shift into either tiger or dragon whenever you want.”
Stunned, Kian’s gaze shot between Noah and Jessica. She was shaking her head with disbelief, and he reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together.
“It makes sense. No, it does. Remember when I asked what was wrong with your eyes? It was because they were shimmering, your natural brown mixing with a violet color. It only happened for a moment, but I saw it. What kind of shifter has kaleidoscope eyes? Dragons. And after you fought Vihaan, your fur had a shimmer to it, too. Dragon scales shimmer. It’s been bothering me a little, because it wasn’t normal for a tiger shifter, but now it makes sense.”
“Are you guys listening to yourselves?” she burst out, wrenching her hand from Kian’s and backing up, beginning to pace. “You’re saying I’m magical. That I was born to some kind of clan that breeds hybrid shifters who have magical powers, and mine is that I have a tiger and a dragon living inside me, and I can choose which to shift into. And I thought I was the crazy one!”
He watched her
, chest hurting as he saw the pain on her face. “Jess. Go look in the mirror right now.”
She looked at him, a frightened expression on her face, then took a deep breath, nodding before she walked to the mirror hanging on the wall. Gasping as she looked into it, her hand came up, touching her fingers to the skin under her eye. He moved up beside her, meeting her shocked gaze through the mirror. Her eyes were swirling with brown and violet, and as he watched, her pupils flickered, elongating for a moment before shrinking back to normal.
Her dragon was beginning to come to life inside her. Had been for a while, actually, but no one had known it. How could they? He’d never heard of magical shifters who had two animals living inside them before. But the evidence they existed was standing right in front of him.
“I bet the tail of your mark is flicking right now, isn’t it? You know what I was thinking earlier when I was trying to figure out what it was? That it was a dragon tail. It just sounded strange and implausible, so I didn’t voice it. The clues were right in front of us this whole time. We just didn’t know enough to be able to figure out the truth.”
Her beautifully colored eyes were rapidly filling with tears. “You believe this, then?”
Nodding, he cupped her cheek. “And I think you do, too.”
Her face crumpled and she turned, sinking into his arms, shoulders shaking as she cried silently. He held her tightly, rocking her back and forth. Luke and Noah were both silent behind them, waiting patiently as Jessica tried to pull herself back together.
After a few long moments, she eased back, taking a hitching breath as she wiped her cheeks. Turning to the Enforcers, she smiled slightly. “Sorry. Okay, so what does this mean? Is this related to the Drako person who’s coming after me? Is he from this magical clan?”
The look Noah gave them was full of wariness and regret. “I’m afraid Drako isn’t a single person. Drako is the name of the clan. It sounds like the whole clan is trying to get you back, and I’m not sure how to fight them. They’re not typical shifters. They have magic. Magic we know nothing about and have no idea how to fight.”
Kian (War Cats Book 5) Page 15