When We Were Us: A Dark Mafia Romance (Alpha Boyfriends Book 3)

by J. S. Cooper

  “There’s nothing to control, Giorgio. You just need to do what I said.”

  “But Luca...”

  “Giorgio, I’m not going to tell you again. You need to do what I said.”

  He let out a deep sigh. “Fine. When?”

  “Tomorrow night.”

  “Want me to take any of the guys?”

  “I think you can handle it alone, don’t you?”

  “I guess I can handle it alone. I don’t know what I got to do to her to-“

  “Don’t lay a finger on her.”

  “But Luca, how am I—”

  “Giorgio, you are not to lay a finger on her. Spike her drink, do whatever you got to do. But if I see one bruise, one mark on her, you are dead. Do you hear me?”

  He just nodded in response. “Do you understand what I am saying, Giorgio? Answer me.”

  “Yes, Luca. I understand.”

  “Good. You call me tomorrow when it’s done and then I’ll come, okay?”

  “Okay.” He turned around and walked away. I watched him go and my heart beat rapidly. He stopped by the door and looked back at me, “I’m just going to ask you one last time, are you sure you want to do this?”

  I looked him dead in the eye and nodded, “I’m sure.” He let out a long, deep sigh and shook his head. Then he turned back around, walked through the door and slammed it behind him. I knew he was mad, I knew he didn’t want to do what I told him to do, but I knew he’d still do it. There was no stopping me now. From the moment I’d seen her there in Miami, I knew this was what I had to do. She was going to pay and I was going to enjoy taking every last drop of happiness from her, just like she’d done to me. Anabel had no idea, but the world as she knew it was about to change forever.

  Chapter 6

  Anabel

  The smooth sounds of the saxophone filled the living room as Emily, Charlotte, and I sat there drinking wine. None of us talked. I knew they were waiting for me to start. They wanted to hear the secrets I had been keeping. I could tell from their faces that they looked hurt and sad that I’d never confided in them before, which I could understand. How could we have been friends for so long and they never knew about my past? They never knew that I’d been truly, deeply, and madly in love with someone who was now the head of the mafia.

  The person they thought they knew didn’t really exist. I was, of course, who I wanted to be with them. I was myself. But by them not knowing my past, did they really know all of me? As we sat there listening to John Coltrane, a part of me wondered if our friendship would ever be the same after today.

  “So, I was thinking,” I started hesitantly and looked over at Charlotte. She gave me a warm smile.

  “Go on, Anabel. You know we’ll always be here for you, right? You can tell us anything.”

  “I don’t know if I can tell you everything, guys,” I sighed. “I mean, I know you think that, and I know you want to believe that, but sometimes there are things that are done that can never be forgiven, you know?”

  Emily looked me up and down. I could tell from her brown eyes that she was considering my statement.

  We sat in silence for a couple more seconds, and then she said quietly, “Anabel, we’ve been friends since we were eighteen years old, since we were freshmen at Columbia University. We have always been here for you, and I think I know you better than maybe anyone else in the world, right? Well.” She chuckled. “I guess I don’t really know all of you, but what I do know is that you’re a good person. You have a good heart, and you’re a good person. So if you’ve done something in your past that wasn’t so good, tell us. Explain to us. We will be here for you. We will not judge you, I promise you that.”

  I sat back and closed my eyes. “Guys, I just... it’s a long story. I just don’t even know where to begin.”

  “Just start at the beginning,” Charlotte said. “That’s always the best place to start.”

  “Okay.”

  I took a deep breath and then a large gulp of the wine. My fingers felt shaky as I sat there, but I knew that now was the time. I had to tell them, if not everything, something. I had to appease them. Maybe now was the time for everything in my life to change.

  “So when I was seventeen, I was a real geek.” I laughed. “I didn’t have a boyfriend. I didn’t have many friends, and I was just really into books.”

  “You were into books in college too.” Charlotte laughed too. “What’s different about that?”

  “Yeah, not really much different, you know? It was almost like that summer never happened when I look back in my life. If I wasn’t there, if I didn’t remember everything so acutely, I could almost pretend that it didn’t.”

  “Tell us, Anabel. Please tell us more.”

  “So, I met Luca when I was walking down the street. I bumped into him by accident. I dropped my bags. He picked them up for me, and he walked me home.”

  “Wow. Sounds romantic. Sounds like a nice guy,” Emily said, surprised.

  “Yeah. That’s what I thought as well.” I sighed deeply, rubbed my forehead. “About a week later, I was walking down an alleyway because I was stupid like that, and I got jumped by these four guys.”

  “Oh no!” Charlotte cried out. “Were you okay?”

  “Yeah, I was fine actually. I had my own knight in shining armor. He came and he saved me.”

  “Oh shit,” Emily said. “Don’t tell me. It was Luca.”

  “Yeah. What, are you psychic? He was like my regular Superman, you know? All he needed was a white steed to ride up on.” I took another gulp of wine, straightened my back, and then continued with my story. “So after he rescued me, he took me to a little shop in Park Slope. I’d never even been to the place before, but we got French bread and prosciutto, some brie. He even got a bottle of red wine. He wasn’t even twenty-one at the time. He was only twenty. I don’t even know how he got it. I guess he had a fake ID. Well actually, I know he had a fake ID, but you know, I didn’t care. We went to Prospect Park, and we sat down.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” Charlotte interrupted me.

  “Sure. What’s your question?”

  “Didn’t you say you were walking at night when you were jumped?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “So you went to the park in the middle of the night to have a picnic? I just want to make sure I’m getting this right.”

  “Yes, I know it sounds crazy but you had to see it. He had these solar lamps that he put up all around so that they looked like flickering candles, and he had a blanket, and it was warm because it was summer, and it was nice. It was beautiful. I couldn’t believe it, you know? It all seemed so surreal, and we ate French bread and brie, and I drank wine for the first time, and he looked at me and he said, ‘Do you know what, Anabel?’ And I said, ‘What?’ He said, ‘I’ve been your knight in shining armor twice in a row.’ And I said, ‘I guess you have.’ And he said, ‘I think fate is trying to tell us something.’ And I said, ‘You think so?’ And he said, ‘Yeah.’ And then he quoted this poem to me.”

  “What poem?” Emily asked curiously.

  “Hold on. Let me see if I can remember how it went. One second. Let me think. I’m trying to think. It was by, I think, Ralph Waldo Emerson. Yeah. That’s it. And it was called “Fate”. And I don’t remember all of it, but I remember some of it. It went, ‘That you are fair or wise is vain, or strong, or rich, or generous. You must have also untaught strain that sheds beauty on the rose. There is a melody born of melody, which melts the world into a sea. Toil could never compass it. Art its height could never hit. It came never out of wit, but a music music-born, well may Jove and Juno scorn. Thy beauty, if it lacks the fire which drives me mad with sweet desire.’ That’s all I can remember.”

  “Wow, Anabel. That’s a lot more than I would be able to remember. How do you remember that?”

  “Honestly, that night when I went home, I looked the poem up online. And for the next three months that he was in my life, I read the poem every night. You
see, I had believed it was fate. I had believed we were destined to be together. I had believed that my love story was finally here. But it just wasn’t. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t my knight in shining armor, and it was not fate.”

  “So, what happened?” Emily looked shocked at the way I was shouting. “And are you okay? Do you need anything?”

  “I’m okay. I’m sorry. I’m just so frustrated. You don’t understand. I loved this man. I loved this man more than I ever thought I could love, and since we’ve been broken up, I have not been able to look at anyone else because he took my heart, and he tore it up. He tore it up. And I felt like a piece of me was gone forever, and I said I never wanted to feel that way, and I never wanted to be the person that I was when I was with him, because you know what? I was the best of me, and I was also the worst of me. The very worst of me, and I never thought I could be that sort of person. I never thought that I could do the things that he made me do, and God forgive me, I miss him. And when I saw him last week, I thought to myself, ‘I wish I was dead.’ I wish I was dead because a part of me still loved him. A part of me wanted to reach for him and kiss him and touch him and sleep with him, and I hate myself for it. I absolutely hate myself for it.”

  I started crying then, the tears rolling down my eyes, and my two friends looked at me in shock before coming over to me and holding me close.

  “Oh Anabel, we didn’t realize that he’s still affected you so much. What happened? Please, you can tell us!”

  Charlotte said very softly, “Even if you murdered a man, Anabel, I’ll understand. We are here for you no matter what you have to say.”

  “Guys, you are the very best friends a girl could ever ask for, the very best friends. And no, I didn’t murder a man. Thank God for that. I didn’t murder a man, but it almost feels just as bad as that.”

  “So Anabel, what happened next? What did you do?”

  “I can’t tell you everything tonight. I’m still processing. I’m still processing everything. But here’s what I want to tell you. I want to tell you that I met a man when I was seventeen and he was twenty, and he courted me, and he loved me. When he looked into my eyes, I thought I saw heaven. When he looked into my eyes, he made me a believer. I thanked God every single night for introducing me to him. I thanked God for answering my prayers. When I looked into his eyes, the love that shined there for me, the love, oh, it caught me so tight. It made me think that I was going to die of happiness. I was so happy. And then, that lasted for maybe a week, two weeks. It was like a rollercoaster ride. Then, I realized that this guy that I loved, he wasn’t a good guy. He was not a good guy at all, and I didn’t know how to accept that about him, and he didn’t know how to accept the fact that I couldn’t accept it, and he was mean, and he was cruel, and he hurt me.”

  “Oh my god. Did he hit you? What did he do?” Emily was shouting now. “God help me, I will kill him if he hurt you.”

  “He didn’t hurt me like that. He would never touch me. Luca was not that sort of man. He would never hurt a woman. In the mafia, they have a code. They never touch women and they never touch children, not physically at least. Mentally, he could play the worst games, the cruelest games.”

  “Oh Anabel, he sounds horrible. I’m sorry. I know you said you loved him, but he sounds absolutely horrible.”

  “And that’s the thing. He was a monster. He was a beautiful monster, a monster that I loved, a monster that I didn’t realize was a monster until it was too late, until he had me trapped. And then, like all monster stories end, everything was destroyed around us. Everything.”

  “Anabel, can I ask you something?” Emily whispered, and I nodded. “You don’t have to answer this, but I’d love it if you would.”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “So, Luca. You said that he was your first love, right?”

  “Yeah. He was my first love.”

  “Do you still love him, by any chance?”

  I looked at her, and then I looked at Charlotte, and I didn’t know what to say. “That’s a hard question, you know? That’s a hard question for me to answer because how could I love him, this man that hurt me so? But when it’s true love, does it ever fade, no matter what they do to you?”

  “But do you think you still love him?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know how to answer that.” I stood up. “Girls, I’m sorry, but I need to go home. I need to process everything. I promise you, I promise you that tomorrow, we will go to brunch and then we will come back and I will tell you everything, okay? I just need time to process everything.”

  “Sure, Anabel.” Charlotte stood up as well. “I understand. I know we both understand. Just get home safely, okay? Please, just get home safely.”

  “I will. You know, I’m going to stop at the bodega. I’m going to get me some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. I’m going to get me another bottle of wine. I’m going to go to bed. I’m going to watch Love Actually. And I’m just going to relax and cry and process everything and get him out of my brain again, because I do not need him in my life, and I never have to see him again. New York is a big city. He doesn’t even live in Manhattan. He’s in Brooklyn. He hated Manhattan. He hated it. It’s been years since I’ve seen him, years. And you know what? Maybe it will be years until I see him again, and I’m okay with that because I am a strong woman.”

  “Yes you are, my love. Yes you are.”

  Charlotte and Emily both put their arms around me and hugged me tight, and we stood there for a few seconds. As I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, all I could see was Luca’s face in my mind. My Luca, the Luca that I had loved forever. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be okay, but I didn’t want them to worry, and I didn’t want them to know that.

  Chapter 7

  Luca

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Luca.” Valentina had a small smile on her face as she surveyed me. Her big, brown eyes were happy, but tinged with an alertness that surprised me as she gazed at me. I caught her giving me several furtive looks as we got into the back of the car, but I didn’t pay much attention to her small attempts to flirt.

  “You forget that we’ve already met? It’s nice to see you again, Valentina. I don’t suppose you remember me.”

  “Not really. I mean, I know we’ve been engaged for a while.” She shifted along the seat toward me, her skirt riding up as she scooted over, exposing her bare tan thigh.

  “Well, we haven’t been nor are we engaged, Valentina. Your father wants us to be engaged. I’m still thinking about it.”

  “Oh.” She looked taken aback. “I thought when you came to pick me up, that meant I was engaged to you. That’s what my dad said.”

  “Your dad was mistaken.” I would deal with the backlash later.

  “I don’t think he’d like it then, knowing I was going to stay at your house without actually being engaged. You know, what with my virtue and all that.” She giggled self-consciously. “It would make my dad and I look bad if I stayed at your house and we weren’t engaged.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that, Valentina. Your father understands that I am a man of the world, that I am the capo of the Cattaneo mafia family. No one dares disrespect me. No one will talk about you.”

  “I know that you...”

  “Enough.” I looked over at her, her long, dark hair flowing past her shoulders. She was a beautiful woman. “So Valentina, what do you do for fun?”

  “I like shopping.”

  “Oo-kay, and anything else?”

  “I like going to the hairdresser.”

  “Do you read?” She couldn’t be as vapid as she was coming across, could she?

  “Um, I read books in high school. In twelfth grade, we read... I can’t really remember any of the names of the books. I wasn’t that good in school.”

  “I see.” I couldn’t stop my mind going back to Anabel, who almost seemed to read a book a day. “Do you enjoy movies?”

  “Oh yeah, I love old movies. They’
re the best.”

  “Oh, the classics.” This was something we could relate on. I loved the old black and white movies, with actors like Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, and James Cagney.

  “Yeah. I love Pretty Woman. That movie where Julia Roberts was a prostitute and then she met Richard Gere, and he was like this millionaire or billionaire, and he took her shopping on Rodeo Drive. Oh my gosh, how amazing would that be? I’d love to go shopping on Rodeo Drive.” She gave me a wide smile. “Do you think we’ll ever go to Rodeo Drive?”

  “I doubt it very much.” I sighed and looked out of the window. I’d had enough of talking with her already. She was a vapid, boring girl. Beautiful, yes, but she didn’t offer much else. I turned to look at her body for a couple of seconds. Nice, firm tits, small waist. She would most probably be good in bed. She seemed like she would be eager to please, which was a plus, in my opinion. I guessed that some men married for less than good sex, but that wasn’t enough for me. I needed someone that could stimulate my mind and my body.

  “Giorgio, are you going to take us home now or are we just going to sit in traffic?” I called out to my friend, who was driving us.

  Giorgio looked in the rearview mirror and just grinned. “On the way, sir. On the way.” Even though Giorgio wasn’t technically my driver as the underboss, he was someone that I trusted and he knew that Valentina Marchese was here on a trial basis. I didn’t want anyone else to know that. It couldn’t get back to Valentina’s father. Even though I had told her that I could be trusted, I knew that her reputation would be ruined if it got out that she was staying with me and we weren’t engaged. Not that I cared. I needed her here for a reason. And that reason wasn’t to marry her.

  I knew that made me a bit of a bastard. I knew that made me a selfish asshole, but I was a mafia boss. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted to do. What did I care if everyone thought I’d fucked her and used her, like some slut? No one ever said the mafia was unselfish. We were in it for ourselves and our families, and right now I was in it for me. Right now, I was in this to make Anabel pay for what she’d done to me. I didn’t care who the innocent victims were in this charade. I just needed my retribution and revenge and I needed to make Anabel pay.